


Toxic Affair

by z0mbieshake



Series: Toxic Affair [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Dubious Consent, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loss of Virginity, Love Triangles, M/M, Panlix - Freeform, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 134,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3425180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/z0mbieshake/pseuds/z0mbieshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Felix's nineteenth birthday, Peter breaks his heart by proposing to Wendy. Broken and weak, Felix finds himself in Malcolm's arms, a scoundrel more than willing to exploit a broken heart for pleasure. Felix is ready to let it go and move on till it turns out that scoundrel was Peter's father and the two carry a history darker than he could've ever imagined.</p><p>And to top it off, Malcolm makes Felix an offer he can't refuse: A confession from Peter in exchange for Felix's virginity</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nineteen

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this monster of a fic for a while and it is FINALLY complete. Thank you so much to Sporklift for helping me workshop this fic! It was a long, long adventure and I can finally put it up! One thing of note, since I was the lucky person who Sporklift shared her ideas with, I have to credit many ideas in this fic to her. This fic would've never been completed with you :)
> 
> Warning: Due to spoilers, I had to omit the Archive Warnings. This fic gets extremely dark and some characters will do extremely morally broken things. I will try to put a warning up in each chapter prior to some questionable material but please be careful when reading.

_The smell of cotton candy. Booming crowds and the rumbling of a monstrous roller coaster. Music, shrill laughter, screaming periodic with the dips and loops of the ride behind him. Balloons, drifting away in the wind. A_ headache _induced by fear and loud noises crippling the little blond boy hiding on the grass behind a bench and forcing him to his knees. He was no bigger than a large puppy when huddled on the field, a tiny boy even by the standards of children his age standing nearly a head shorter than most of them._

_He should have just stayed put in the orphanage, should've never agreed to come to the stupid amusement park with Peter. No one would be searching for him since he snuck out without their permission, skipping his boring chores after Peter claimed someone else will get them done when he's gone._

_Felix sat on the grass, eyes scanning the claustrophobic crowds and seeing nothing but strangers, "Peter!" Felix cried out, tears building in his eyes when there was no reply, "Peter!" He shouted again, fingers trembling and letting go of his balloon when he clutched at his face and wept._

_Felix cried out several more times till he finally gave up, collapsing to the grass and hugging his knees. Felix was_ lost, alone, scared _, scuttled onto the grass in fear of getting trampled by the shoes around him. Peter always teased Felix about how easy it was to make him cry and Felix always tried his hardest to resist the tears whenever Peter was around. All alone in the park, Felix's resolve crumbled and he went right back to sniveling into his knees._

_How would he be able to face the world alone? It was such a frightening place. He wanted to stay put in his room at the orphanage forever._

_"I found you!"_

_Felix's head shot up. Immediately, he wiped away his tears and ceased his sniveling, "Peter!" He shouted, getting to his feet and dashing towards the headstrong boy, the bright green balloon in his grasp a beacon towards him._

_"Where did you go? You scared me!" Peter replied, scolding him, "Are you crying again?"_

_"No," Felix spat out, sulking as Peter pat the boy's head. He didn't like how Peter was taller than him, patting his head like he was one of the nuns taking care of him. Felix wanted to go home, forget about this place but he stopped his pleading when he saw the slightest bit of annoyance in Peter's eyes. When he snuck Felix out from the orphanage, he wasn't expecting him to be such a load. Not wanting to disappoint, Felix quickly swallowed his complaints and brushed himself off, "D-Did you find your dad?"_

_Peter shook his head, disappointed but not surprised, "No. Papa probably went to the food court again. Come on, we don't need him. We'll have fun on our own," He tilted his head curiously when he eyed Felix's empty hands. A brief moment later, Peter smiled back toothily, head darting around curiously, "Stay right here," Peter said, skipping away on the grass towards a baby carriage he had eyed with balloons tied to the handles._

_Felix watched excitedly as Peter snuck around the parents attending to the baby, hiding perfectly behind the stroller as he undid one of the balloons. When the parents turned their backs, Peter sprinted back to Felix with a second bright green balloon in hand. He handed it to the little blond, smirking like a rascal._

_"That's better," Peter said. Felix nodded back reluctantly as he took the balloon knowing that Peter would once again dart off and leave him behind. He gasped when he noticed Peter's extended hand, reaching for him, "Come on. It'll just be the two of us."_

_Felix's heartbeat quickened as he eyed Peter's hand, overjoyed in every way. It was rare for Felix to ever receive a gift. On top of that, this was something from Peter which made it ten times as precious. The dull ache in his head was no longer relevant. He nearly leapt towards Peter as he took his hand, skipping alongside the boy with their hands joined, "So we don't get split up again," Peter explained, a half-smirk on his face._

_It was in that moment surrounded by crowds, laughter, and the smell of cotton candy, Felix knew he'd follow Peter forever. He took Peter's hand hoping that he'd never have to let it go. It was just the two of them and Felix felt like that was what it should always be, felt like it'd be wrong to have someone else lead him or for someone else to follow Peter._

 

" _Wendy and I are getting married."_

_"You're my best friend, Felix. I want you to be my best man."_

_"Happy birthday."_

 

Felix flinched at just the memory, shutting his eyes and biting down on his lip to suppress any whimpers. He hadn't cried in years, not since Pan told him crying meant weakness. _But he was weak_ and Peter would've hated his weakness just as much as he hated his tears. Felix poured the glass of hard liquor down his throat, distracting himself with the harsh burn of alcohol.

Loud noises always gave him a headache. The booming music of The Neverland nightclub was no exception. Coupled with the bright lights, thick crowds, and heavy liquor, Felix knew his head would be throbbing the next day. A part of him hoped for it, knowing that he'd be able to smother the ache in his chest with another pain.

 _It's not fair_.

"Peter Pan," Felix mumbled, words already slurring, " _Fuck you, Peter_."

_I'm the one who's always been at your side. I'm the one who'd do anything for you. I'm the one who gave up the world for you. I'm the one who loves you more than anyone else. I thought you knew that. Then why did you pick her?_

Worst of all, Peter chose to declare his engagement on his birthday, chose Felix to be his Best Man as his birthday present. There couldn't have been a worse gift to give him. Felix growled at the notion, slamming his glass down and tucking his head into his hands, "Happy birthday to me," Felix whispered to himself.

How would he ever be able to face Peter again? He should run away. He should skip town.

The bartender slid a drink his way. Distracted from his thoughts, Felix lazily took the drink, chugging it before reaching into his wallet, "He paid for it," The bartender explained, nodding to Felix's left.

Felix let out a puzzled sound, impressively finishing the glass with one more swallow before turning to his left, eyeing a scruffy looking man with sharp eyes and rumpled clothing. He lifted the empty glass in gratitude before returning to sulking over the bar. From the corner of his eye, he watched as the middle-aged man handed the bartender another few bills, another drink sliding his way.

The man slid off his stool slowly, walking lazily next to Felix and leaning on the bar next to him. Felix tried to ignore the man, taking the glass into his hand and sipping at it, "Go away, I'm not interested right now," Felix hoped he didn't slur his words too much.

Felix groaned when the man pulled the glass from his hands, taking a huge gulp before speaking, "A thank you would suffice," Felix shrugged in response, slumping over the bar lazily, "Bad day?"

"Oh, the worst," Felix replied, rubbing at his forehead, too drunk to care that he was babbling on to a stranger, "Worst fucking birthday of my life."

He heard the scrape of a stool, the man taking a seat next to him, "Sorry to hear. Happy birthday," He waved to the bartender, "Another drink here. To celebrate."

Felix scoffed as another glass slid over, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get me drunk."

The man snickered, leaning on one elbow so he could fully face Felix, "I'd say you're already well on that without my help," He continued to watch Felix, eyes glowing like Felix was the most precious thing he'd ever seen, "Name's Malcolm."

Felix stared at him for a while, contemplating if he should tell this stranger his name. The alcohol muddled his mind and he relented despite how touchy he usually was about giving away personal information, "Felix."

Malcolm smirked, "Lovely name," His voice was low as he spoke, inching into a seductive tone.

Felix rolled his eyes, putting down another empty glass, "It'll take a lot more than that to woo me," Felix gasped when he felt the man place a hand on his back. He was too weak to shake it off, sitting there dumbly as the man began to trace circles on his back with his palm, "W-What are you..."

"You look like you need it," Malcolm said, smiling lazily as he continued, "You look like you're about to cry," Felix froze at the insight, ducking his head when he was unable to think of a comeback. Malcolm gave him a sad smile as he continued stroking his back, "Only old men and the heartbroken drink themselves under the table all by themselves."

Felix whipped around angrily, "I'm not heartbroken!" He barked, words clearly slurring as he fell forward from the sudden movement.

Malcolm caught him immediately, chuckling lazily as Felix pawed at him drunkenly, "Of course you're not, tough guy," He only laughed harder as Felix pawed at him more, his pathetic attempts at shoving the man back. His hands came up, gliding around Felix's face as he spoke in a low, seductive tone, "Why would anyone as lovely as you have their heart broken?" He asked, brow quirking up as a smile stretched across his face.

Felix couldn't tell if his face was red from alcohol or from the man's words. Felix smiled back dumbly, rubbing his forehead into the man's tweed jacket as he snickered, "Pfft, you keep calling me lovely."

"Lovely, gorgeous, beautiful," Malcolm said, Felix snickering louder with every compliment, "Have I won you over yet?"

Felix propped himself up carefully, smiling lazily as he examined the man's face, catching the slightest hint of cheap cologne underneath the heavy stench of alcohol. His heart ached, his mind was mush, Malcolm was rather handsome, and he needed the distraction, so why the hell not? Felix slid off his stool, grabbing Malcolm's sleeve and pulling him up, "Come on you. Dance with me."

Malcolm chortled as Felix pulled him onto the dance floor, nearly skipping along beside the blond before pressing up right against him as he danced to the music, limbs flailing in a drunken yet controlled manner. Felix shot him a cross but amused look at how close Malcolm danced, chests touching with every intimate sway. Felix immediately backed off, chuckling with amusement as Malcolm followed him cheekily. He planted one leg between Felix's knees, nearly slotting the two of them together. Unperturbed whether from loneliness or alcohol, Felix continued dancing, tossing his head left and right.

As the air grew thicker and the dance got more intense, Felix pulled off his black hoodie, exposing his head of golden locks and the simple, wrinkled beater he wore underneath. He tied the sweater around his waist, thinking nothing of it till he saw Malcolm's gaping mouth, eyes glued to the beater fitted perfectly to Felix's frame, sweat turning the material translucent.

" _Creep_ ," Felix muttered, summoning Malcolm's attention back to his face.

Malcolm's eyes locked onto Felix's for just a second, acknowledging him before drifting back down to his slender form flexing with every twist of his body, "Guilty as charged," He unintentionally groaned when Felix swung his arms into their air, the edge of his tank top lifting to reveal a tender strip of flesh, hipbones glistening with sweat and jutting out from his jeans.

Felix let out a small whine when he felt Malcolm's fingers at his waist, pressing themselves feather-lightly against the exposed skin. Malcolm bit his lips to suppress a husky groan as he relished in the feel of the boy's flesh under him. The calloused hands jerked forward suddenly, pulling Felix's hips against his own. Felix let out a quiet gasp, hands flying to Malcolm's chest unsure to pull the man close or shove him to the floor. He needed a distraction but he wasn't _desperate_. Nineteen years of saving his body for Peter, nineteen years of rejecting even the most chaste of embraces unless they were from Peter himself, tainted by this man grinding their hips together licentiously.

Nineteen years of waiting, chastity, loyalty, _love_. And Peter chose Wendy.

Before the sting could reach his heart, Felix grabbed Malcolm's collar and pulled him close, slotting their hips together as he kissed the scoundrel voraciously. He smothered the urge to cry with the salty flavour of Malcolm's lips and the sour flavour of cheap alcohol on his tongue. Malcolm in response rolled his hips against Felix, hands lifting the tank top exposing his hot skin to the damp air of the night club.

With nothing left to lose, Felix ground his hips against Malcolm, throwing his head back as the older man suckled at his supple flesh, biting down on the junction between his neck and collarbone. Felix twisted himself around, shuddering when he felt Malcolm's hands glide over the fine blond hairs just peeking out from the front of his jeans. An arm hooked itself around his waist, pressing Felix's lower torso flat against Malcolm's. In response to the intimate contact, Felix relinquished all self-control and thrust his hips backwards grinding against the front of Malcolm's pants.

" _Naughty boy_ ," Malcolm groaned, throwing his head back before securing his hands on Felix's hips and pressing forward, matching Felix's movements. Somewhere along the line, Felix's sweater had fallen down from his waist, lost in the thrumming crowds, leaving just two layers of worn jeans between them.

Felix's hands clutched at Malcolm's wrists as the older man scoured his body with his hands, sliding right underneath his beater and groping at him shamelessly. Felix mewled at the touch, tossing his head back so he could press his cheek against Malcolm's. The older man promptly turned his head and devoured Felix's lips in a hungry kiss, tongues tangling together in a spicy dance, ruining the virginity of Felix's lips.

The booming music and after effects of the alcohol drowned out everything but the man grinding insistently against Felix's ass, implying without words what the man was really after. Felix couldn't find it in himself to care anymore. He'd lost the world today. At the very least, he wanted reprieve from the sexual frustration he endured for years. _He wanted comfort._ Felix hooked an arm backwards, clutching at the back of Malcolm's head as he forced their lips together closer, bruising them. His other hand clutched Malcolm's wrist from where it sat on his hipbone, hips swaying together obscenely to the rhythm of the music.

Despite how foreign it was to him, Felix could clearly identify the scent of sex wafting around them, insisting what he deserved after all those years of chastity. Malcolm's lustful eyes pierced through him, hypnotizing him, and rendering all his thoughts to mush save for his most feral desires.

What made it so much more worse was the colour of Malcolm's eyes, _identical to Peter's_.

" _Lovely, lovely, lovely_ ," Malcolm mumbled with his lips pressed hard into Felix's as the two fumbled their way into the bathroom, shoving past a disgruntled patron before tumbling into a random bathroom stall and locking the door shut, "What have I done to be rewarded like this?"

Felix promptly responded by slapping his hand right against Malcolm's crotch and cupping him hard. He smirked as Malcolm grunted at the firm contact before gripping onto the older man's hair and pulling him down for another kiss. Felix shuddered as calloused hands scraped up his body and rolled up his beater, exposing his upper torso. The cool air of the bathroom was a refreshing change from the stuffy dance floor but it was by no means effective for cooling his steaming hot skin.

Felix's breath hitched as Malcolm pressed his nails into his chest and scratched downward, scraping at his flesh before settling at the edge of his jeans. He prodded at the button, fingers playing with the golden hair peeking out from the edge, sending hints to Felix for what he wanted. Moving entirely on instinct, Felix promptly unbuttoned his jeans and shuffled them to his knees, exposing the plaid boxers stretched taut against his body, plastered to him with sweat leaving nothing to the imagination.

Malcolm licked his lips at the sight, letting out a pleased hum as his hands traveled up his thighs and gripped at his cotton-clad ass, "Plaid shorts. _How classic_ ," Malcolm commented, fingers snapping at the waistband.

Felix scoffed, hands searching for somewhere to anchor himself. The shoulders were too innocent, revealing his inexperience but Felix was not yet bold enough to settle them on his hips, "What does it matter?"

Malcolm chuckled darkly, cooing into Felix's ear, "You're right. It doesn't," He stuffed a hand under the elastic, grabbing his half-hard cock firmly. Felix screamed in his hands, not sure if he was terrified or aroused. His body was shaking and his breath was shallow. It was too obvious that this was the first time anyone had ever pleased him with their hands. Malcolm was absolutely _ecstatic_ , "Not so loud, love. We don't want security to kick us out while you're still hard. Speaking of which..." Malcolm shifted his hands, relishing in the utterly _virgin_ way Felix groaned and rolled under his grasp, "Looks like you've been having fun," The tip was already dripping pre-come. With just a simple stroke at the head with his thumb, Felix slumped against the bathroom wall warbling weakly, "Has anyone ever done this for you before?" Malcolm asked, already aware of the answer.

Felix narrowed his eyes, trying so hard to gather his composure and failing with every stroke or twist of Malcolm's deft hand, "P-Plenty of people," With a sinister smirk, Malcolm quickened his strokes, one hand travelling up and down the shaft, rubbing at it with just enough pressure to not cause pain while his other hand thumbed at his slit, giving it constant stimulation. Felix screamed again, clamping down on his wrist as his knees buckled, head spinning as milky white come coated Malcolm's hands with it's warmth. His body betrayed his innocence, brought to climax with just the slightest stimulation.

" _Liar_ ," Malcolm purred, "I don't like liars, Felix. This is the first time anyone's ever given you a handjob, isn't it?"

Felix wouldn't answer, too preoccupied with catching his breath. His cheeks were burning with heat, eyes clouded and lost. If the situation was kinder, Felix would've stretched back to enjoy the afterglow; it was so much stronger when it came from someone else's hand. Had their affair not taken place in a dingy, nightclub bathroom, Felix would have considered this just slightly _romantic._ Instead, he felt dirty, like he had cheated on his almost-lover for a cheap romp on the streets. Biting down on his lip, Felix shook his head fervently, determined to oppose the beady-eyed man.

A serpent's smile stretched across Malcolm's face as his hands began searching Felix's body, groping for sensitive spots and torturing it with quick scrapes with his fingers when he found one. Felix flinched in his grasp, warbling and squirming in his grasp as Malcolm continued to whisper, " _Liar, liar, liar, liar..._ " His lips found Felix's again, whispering the words into his mouth, nipping at his bottom lip relishing in the whimpers slipping from Felix.

The boy was utterly pliant in his hands, like soft clay warmed and melting in his palms. Malcolm left no inch of skin on his face uncovered, smearing kisses all along the soft flesh. Felix nearly lost himself, ready to shut out his thoughts and do nothing but _feel_ till he felt hands dipping under his boxers, sliding past the swell of his buttocks and tracing the cleft of his ass, fingers dipping in too intimately. Felix tried to cover the fear, suppressed his flinch. He tried to make it look natural as he took Malcolm's wrist and guided it back up to the small of his back, holding it there. When Felix felt Malcolm's other hand darting up his thigh traveling under the hem of his shorts, he immediately pressed himself up against the bathroom wall, compressing Malcolm's hand and preventing it from reaching it's destination.

A low chuckle came from Malcolm, eyes glossed over with utter amusement. The look on his face rendered Felix into a trembling mess, _toxic_ with sinful glee, "No?" His voice was throaty, erotic.

Felix shook his head, taking in a shaky breath as he desperately tried to gather his composure, "Never on a first date," He sighed out, confident that he sounded at least slightly in control.

Malcolm barked with laughter in return, taking Felix's jeans and working them back up his hips, buttoning them together and straightening out the creased fabric, "Alright," Malcolm accepted the response, rolling Felix's beater back down his body. He coiled an arm around his waist as he led him out of the bathroom stall, flashing a scoundrel's smile at the bystanders who unintentionally witnessed their sinful deed.

Cooling themselves off with another round of drinks before more dirty dancing, Felix and Malcolm eventually left the nightclub together, swaying and scrambling around on the street drunkenly giggling like fools at everything and nothing.

"Will I ever get to see you again?" Malcolm asked, eyes too wide and too innocent as his other hand rested on Felix's hips, kneading at it.

Felix laughed the intrusive contact off, resting his forehead against Malcolm's as he hummed in contemplation, "Of course not. That's what makes it fun," If he were sober, he would never have had the confidence to say that to anyone.

" _Oh, come here you_ ," Malcolm growled playfully as he lunged at Felix, pushing him past the fence around the apartment complex and wrestling him against a tree, smothering him with kisses.

Moaning softly as Malcolm lowered himself onto his body, Felix squirmed out from his grasp with a tempting laugh and ran towards the stairs, clumsily unlocking the gate with his key. Malcolm promptly crushed him against the steel bars with his body, a throaty chortle slipping from his lips as he pressed Felix flat against the bars and nipped at his neck. Against his better knowledge, Felix unlocked the gate with a free hand and led Malcolm up the stairs, pulling and pushing and smothering each other with empty affection till the two were pressed against Felix's front door, tongues wrestling as their hands slid under each other's clothes memorizing the curve of every muscle.

" _Come on Felix_ ," Malcolm huffed out, humming as Felix took Malcolm's ear into his mouth and worked it thoroughly with his tongue, "Let me in. I'll be good," He gripped onto Felix's hips tightly, bruising him as he thrust against him, rutting into Felix's hips possessively. Felix groaned heavily, hands pathetically slapping at the door trying to find some purchase, " _Let me come in_."

Felix shook his head, ignoring the sensuous, rigorous friction burning against his loins, "I can't just let anyone come inside," He let out a second whine as Malcolm doubled the pressure, crushing their hips together.

"Why not? You might like it," Malcolm whispered in a near-hiss, dragging his tongue up Felix's neck and to his ear.

Felix was shaking his head, words coming out in an incoherent babble. This was the most pleasure he'd had in a single night, the _only_ pleasure he'd ever had outside of quiet nights alone with nothing but images of Peter in his mind and his hand. To think that Peter wasn't in his thoughts at all for his first night of real pleasure was absolutely unfathomable.

In-between the slurring words, Felix replied, "N-No way. I'm saving myself for someone."

Malcolm cocked a brow as he continued grinding against Felix, "Really? Didn't think a naughty boy like you would be the chaste type," He slapped a hand onto his thigh, riding it up his jeans, "What would your special someone think of you if you lost your virginity to me?"

Felix flinched at the question. Knowing Peter, knowing who he chose, Felix knew _Peter wouldn't care at all._ The thought gave him pain and he cringed before he was even aware. Before Malcolm could comment on it, Felix grabbed Malcolm's collar and crushed their lips together, shutting him up. Understanding, Malcolm promptly rutted against him hard, faster, mouth gaping and warbling as he came with his hips pressed hard against Felix's. He buried his face into Felix's neck, taking in a deep breath, absorbing the fine scent of sweat, shampoo, and cologne as he savoured his afterglow.

Felix's orgasm was his next priority. Once Malcolm was sated, he shoved a hand into Felix's jeans and worked him hard and fast, pushing him over the edge with little effort. Felix shuddered and shouted far louder than he should have as he came, his back arching off the door and jittering with each stroke of Malcolm's hand. He smeared the mess all over Felix's beater watching as the milky fluid bled through the fabric.

"Goodnight, Felix," Malcolm whispered, taking Felix's keys from his pockets and placing them on his palm.

Felix smiled warmly, the tragedy of today literally fucked right out of his mind, "Night," He whispered, pressing a kiss to Malcolm's forehead before unlocking the door and slipping in. Malcolm's eyes followed him as he shut the door, never leaving till he could no longer see him.

 

"Ah!" Felix cried out as his alarm went off, loud music blaring right into his ear. Groaning as he scrubbed his hands lazily over his face, he slapped his hands over the clock, pressing at every single button till he finally found the off switch. His head was killing him and the booming alarm made his ears ring. He took the discarded pillow off the floor and promptly stuffed his head under it.

Felix flinched as his phone began to ring. He almost ignored it, shutting his eyes and returning to sleep till he recognized the lyrics. _-Driving in your car. I never want to go home because I haven't got one anymore-_ With a gasp, Felix sat up quickly ignoring the lazy sway of the room around him as he answered his phone. He practically moved out of instinct, never missing a phone call from Peter.

"Peter?" Felix's voice was raspy and weak, slurring slightly as he spoke.

"Felix? What's the matter? You sound awful," Peter's smooth voice never failed to make Felix's cheeks burn.

Swallowing harshly, Felix took a quick sip of water from the bottle next to his bed before answering, "Nothing. Went drinking last night. What do you need me to do?"

A chuckle, "Why do you always assume that I need you for something when I call you?"

A small smile graced Felix's lips. He lay back down on the bed slowly, head propped up in the pillow, "You always need something from me. But I guess if that's all..." Felix paused, faking like he'd hang up.

"Wait! Wait!" Peter shouted with a laugh, "Fine. I do need you for something."

Felix chuckled, curling up on his side and enjoying himself far more than he should given the events of yesterday, "What do you need?"

"I need you to drive me and Wendy to my father's place."

All of his jealousy, the self-hate, _grief_ returned to him, filling him up and drowning the peace he had forced upon himself the night before. It sat inside him like a cold, weighty stone at the bottom of his stomach. Felix shut his eyes, his lungs straining to take in air like he was trapped in a endless fog. All the perkiness that came from hearing Peter's voice in the morning was gone, reducing Felix back into the sleazy mess that gleefully accepted a handjob from a stranger.

"Why me?" Felix said, hoping his voice wasn't too quiet.

An exasperated huff, "Because you know I don't get along with my father and I'm going to be so bored without you there."

Felix shut his eyes tightly, gripping onto the phone till his knuckles turned white, "Isn't Wendy going to be there with you?"

"Felix. If you don't want to come along, you can just say so."

A single sob slipped out. Felix covered his mouth as soon as it did, begging that Peter didn't hear. When nothing came from the phone, Felix carefully composed himself and replied, "Alright, I'll be there," He spoke with his usual monotone, "What time?"

"My place, anytime after lunch," Peter replied, "Got it?"

Felix hummed in acknowledgement, waiting for Peter to bid farewell and hang up. Instead, Felix was met with silence. Puzzled, Felix lifted himself from the bed and inquired, "Peter?"

"Where did you go last night?"

A night of sinful pleasure and careless enjoyment. Cheap liquor, dirty dancing, and shameless handjobs in a public bathroom were the highlights of his night ending with a middle aged man rutting against him like a horny canine. His clothes were still sticky with sex, come drying in flaky patches on his skin and clothing. Felix didn't want to admit that he preferred this over sitting in a dining room while Peter's classmates fawned over him and Wendy, watching Felix with obvious disdain for his rural upbringing. He didn't know what Peter would think of him.

So he lied to Peter for what felt like the first time in his entire life, "Nibs wanted to celebrate privately. He's still embarrassed about the time we took him to the hospital after losing his ring finger," Felix mumbled, nearly unintelligible.

Peter scoffed, amused, "I'm surprised that idiot still has fingers to lose. Shame you had to waste your birthday with Nibs."

Felix let out a dry laugh, "Yeah. Sorry I had to go."

"And we had a cake for you and everything."

"S-Sorry," Felix repeated, fighting the urge to slap himself for lying to Peter.

There was another silence, both of them waiting for the other to say something.

"Don't run off again without telling me, alright?" Peter said, "I was worried," He cleared his throat loudly, tone changing when he noticed how solemn he had gotten, "And I was bored. You know how boring Wendy's friends are. I needed you there to amuse me."

A small smile in his words betraying none of his true feelings, "Okay. I'll remember."

"Alright, see you after lunch."

"Mm," Felix held onto the phone even after Peter hung up. Peter was always the first to call him every day, waking him up sometimes just because he knew Felix didn't sleep enough the night before. He couldn't stop himself from wondering if this would change, if Peter would stop calling him.

A quiet dreariness overtook him, draining him of strength from the inside out like miasma filling his lungs. He flopped back onto his bed, tossing the phone to the floor when he missed the bedstead. As ashamed of himself as he was for the debauchery of last night, more than anything, he wanted all of that night to happen over and over again till all of his misery was replaced with nothing but sleazy lust and wanton desire.

Felix groaned loudly as a knock came from his door. He already felt like shit from being reminded of his birthday from Peter, why was the world so adamant on ruining his morning? He sat up slowly, fingers combing through his nest of hair trying to straighten out the curls. The knocking continued, far too insistent. Felix assumed it must've been the landlady, harping at him early about his rent again. He fixed his beater, brushing away at the flaking come at the edges. At best, he could pretend the stains on his clothing were just from greasy food. However, given his state of dress and the scent of sweat and foreign cologne lingering on his body, that seemed unlikely.

Felix nearly stood up till he felt something odd at his hips. He reached into his jeans, pulling out a crinkled piece of paper from the elastic of his boxers. He rolled his eyes when he saw the phone numbered scribbled on it, numbers smudged from the sweat and most likely leaving a tattoo on his ass. He tossed the scrap aside, not caring much for it as he fixed up his clothing again and opened the door.

To his surprise, John Darling was standing at the door, stuttering and frazzled when Felix answered, "M-Morning."

Felix shrugged lazily in response. He never thought much about John. Since he was Wendy's older brother, he always felt obligated to hate him but there was a sweetness to the man that Felix couldn't shake off. He was like a giant, hipster teddy bear with perpetually fogging glasses. _Kind of cute._

"Did you need something?" Felix said, amused with the shade of red John's face had taken.

John lifted a shiny paper bag, "Right. Here. Happy birthday."

Felix didn't bother taking the bag, reaching in and retrieving a plush teddy bear from inside. Felix snorted, smiling as he examined the bear and the man standing before him. If the bear wore a scarf, he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two, "Thanks for the gift."

"Oh, t-that's not from me. That's a gift from Wendy," John said a bit too quickly.

"The tag says 'From John Darling'," Felix replied plainly.

"... _Michael_ ," John mumbled under his breath.

Felix smiled at the reaction. Every time he saw John, he always had to note that he was one of the few people he knew that actually matched him in height. His fingers glided over his fine, chocolate locks always combed neatly to the side with the fringe just resting over his glasses. It made Felix sort of jealous how easily John could tame his locks while Felix's were a constant bird's nest.

"Thank you," Felix said, watching curiously as John sweated and stuttered like he still had something to say, "Yes?"

John wasn't a fool. He could tell Felix was in a slump, the way he was dressed, the stains and filth on his clothes. Even without the stench of alcohol, John could tell Felix was hung over. He didn't know if he had the right to ask if he was alright, the right to offer him comfort. He hadn't chased after Felix when he saw the tall blond sneak out the back door at his birthday party and he felt like it was too late to offer him any sort of condolence despite how badly he wanted to.

"No, it's nothing," John replied quietly, nervously fixing his glasses, "Get some rest, alright? You don't look too well."

"Do you...want to come in for a bit?"

John was utterly taken aback by the question. Felix had never invited him in, never treated him with anything more than casual acceptance. He took off his glasses, wiping them nervously as he contemplated the situation. This unintentionally gave Felix full view of his face, no longer covered by plastic frames. Felix couldn't deny that John Darling was exceptionally handsome.

But definitely not more handsome than Peter.

"I-I-I can't. Michael's waiting for me outside," John said, trying to hide the disappointment in his own voice. In any other case, he'd leap at the chance to talk with Felix in private. Given the disheveled look and scent of sex sticking to him, John knew this would be a bad idea and he didn't want to end up accidentally taking advantage of him, "Sorry. Maybe another time?"

Felix nodded back with a half smile, waving as he shut the door between them. He waited for John's footsteps before he collapsed against the door, taking a deep breath as he slid down onto the carpet ashamed of himself. _What was I thinking?_ He was so desperate for a distraction. As if the scoundrel from last night wasn't enough, Felix scolded himself for trying to rope John into the mess.

Felix waved the bear in front of him, the tag fluttering on its ear. He knew John held a torch for him as misguided and foolish as it was. Felix had nothing to his name, no reputation outside of being a street rat and Peter's second-in-command. Why John Darling cared about him so much was a complete mystery. Perhaps he was enticed with the idea of loving a former thug, the prince playing a hero and rescuing a criminal from the streets. He was a Darling; as if he would lower himself to such disgusting standards without some foolish fantasy.

More than any other reason, if Felix poured out and dedicated his entire being to Peter and his leader still felt nothing for him, what chance did Felix have for anyone else to love him?

Felix's breath hitched. He'd ended up hurting himself with his own thoughts. He had to stop thinking about it before the idea drove him to tears. He'd never cry again as he promised Peter so long ago. Leaning against the door with the teddy bear coiled up in his grasp, Felix shut his eyes and willed himself to sleep hoping his dreams would have a more pleasant life for him.

 

Felix groaned when he saw Wendy and Peter cuddling in the backseat. He promptly fixed his rear-view mirror, pointing it up so he wouldn't have to watch them the entire ride. If it wasn't for Peter, Felix would have never agreed to this.

"Does your father know about the engagement?" Wendy asked, fingers playing with Peter's hair.

"I told him last night. He hung up on me," Peter replied, slinging an arm around Wendy and peering at the rear-view mirror, surprised that it had been turned up which meant he couldn't look Felix in the eye, "We should just go in and get out. I don't want to deal with my father anymore than I have to."

Wendy sighed, hooking her hair behind her ears, "I'm sure it'll be fine. I bet he'd be more than happy to give us his blessing."

Peter burst into laughter, slapping at the seat cushion before pausing and noting the serious look on Wendy's face, "Oh. You're serious."

A snicker immediately came from Felix. Peter could see just the corner of his lips perking up.

"Of course I'm serious!" Wendy replied, nearly shouting, "I want our wedding to be perfect."

Peter rolled his eyes, shifting away from Wendy as he peered out the window, "Just wait till you meet my father. You'll understand," He unclipped his seatbelt and slid forward when Felix turned at the light, driving into a typical, middle-class neighbourhood, "Over there," Peter said, patting Felix's on the shoulder, "That house with the black window frames and dead flowers."

"Classy," Felix remarked, turning into the driveway and parking his car. He had meant to speak with Peter only to be greeted with Wendy sweeping his hands all over his leader, fixing up his clothes intimately in a way Felix always wanted to. He promptly sat back in his seat, swallowing the dryness in his throat and trying his best to ignore what was happening behind him.

"You should do something about your hair, Felix," Wendy remarked. He could hear her shifting forward, "Maybe a little trim in the front, some clean cut clothes, and no more of those unflattering hoodies. You'd be one of the most attractive men I know!" Felix flinched when he felt small fingers in his hair, tugging at the knots here and there.

Peter's hand came around her wrist so quickly that the slightest _slap_ of skin against skin was heard. Felix whipped around, watching as Peter pulled Wendy's hand away from Felix, "Stop that. He doesn't like it when people touch his hair."

"Oh, sorry," Wendy quickly apologized, bowing her head slightly. Felix shrugged in response, waiting for the two to exit the car.

They had made it halfway down the cobblestone path before Peter turned back, moving swiftly over to the car and tapping at the front window. Understanding the command, Felix rolled down the window to listen to Peter's commands, "Yes?" Felix said out of reflex.

"Come on Felix, I need you in there with me to stop me from strangling my father to death when I see him," Peter said, trying to inject humour into the mood. It was clear Felix was unhappy from driving Wendy around. He and the proper girl just never got along, her delicate elegance causing a brutal contrast with his rugged imperfection, " _Come on_ , I'll make it up to you later."

Felix rolled his eyes, ignoring the little fist pump Peter made when he slid out from the car and locked it. He followed at Peter's heels as he always did, eyes darting away from Wendy as she took Peter's hand and led him to the front door. She had reached for the doorbell but Peter already had a set of keys out, shuffling through them with his fingers.

"Don't bother. He won't answer," Peter explained, unlocking the door and nearly kicking it open.

Felix shut the door behind him as he entered. Both he and Peter kicked off their shoes haphazardly while Wendy carefully placed hers on the welcome mat. Despite the drab decor and monotonous colours of the outside, the interior was actually quite nice with fine couches, hardwood furniture, all bundled together with earthy colours.

"Looks the same as I left it," Peter muttered, stepping down the hall. He caught the slightest scent of food wafting in the air. Nothing fresh cooked, it smelled of frozen meats and moist paper, "I'm home!" He declared with his arms spread mockingly.

Felix wanted to stand by his side as he always did since he was a child, the position of Peter's second-in-command. Instead, Wendy had taken his place leaving him a few steps behind leaning on the side of the stairs by himself. He rubbed at his forehead, trying to quell the building headache caused by his hangover.

"You're here already?" The very, _very_ familiar voice shouted back. That unique, unmistakable accent echoed from the kitchen, "I was in the middle of lunch," The scrape of a chair, soft footsteps most likely made from slippers. Malcolm stepped forward dressed in nothing but a worn, auburn bathrobe, carrying a can of cheap beer in one hand. His hair was a sopping mess as if he had just stepped out from the shower and hadn't even bothered to towel dry most of the water out. Peter could tell immediately that he deliberately presented this image, trying to make the _worst_ impression possible, "Can you give me like, forty minutes? I'm in the middle of Game of-"

Malcolm completely disregarded Peter and Wendy as if they weren't even there. His eyes locked immediately onto Felix who stared back at him like a deer in headlights. A smile stretched across Malcolm's face, shutting his eyes with a welcoming expression that betrayed none of the apathy he purposely tried to display before.

"I'll be ready in five."

Dressed in a simple auburn polo and black jeans, Peter wasn't sure why his father looked so damn amused, sitting back on the couch with his legs crossed, arms slung over the back cushion as he watched all three of them crushed together on the opposing couch with acidic amusement.

"Felix, you're stepping on my foot," Wendy muttered quietly, trying her best not to flat out scold Felix for crushing her between both boys.

Before Felix could mutter a small apology, Malcolm gave the seat next to him a pat, "You all look so cramped on that couch. Come on, Felix, You can sit with me. _I won't bite_ ," Malcolm looked clearly disappointed when _Peter_ promptly stood and sat himself beside Malcolm, folding his arms and glaring at the older man. Malcolm shrugged in response, leaning back on the couch as his gaze fell on Wendy, "So, you're my son's fiancée?"

Wendy nodded eagerly, taking Malcolm's hand, "I'm Wendy. Wendy Darling. It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Pan."

Malcolm smiled back sweetly, leaning forward to kiss the back of her hand, "Charmed. And please, call me Malcolm," He heard Peter scoff beside him, no doubt rolling his eyes at the faux gentlemanly gesture, "Darling? As in the Darling Bank-Darling family?" He smiled along when Wendy applauded him for recognizing her birthright. He peered towards Peter for just a second, a dark look in his eyes only caught by Felix, "Why am I not surprised?"

Before Wendy could inquire, Malcolm quickly turned his attention to Felix, "And who's this _lovely_ young man?"

Felix flinched at the epithet, fighting the urge to outright shiver in his presence. He was able to push away most of last night into the very depths of his memory. Malcolm's presence was bringing everything back at the worst time possible.

"It's Felix," Peter answered, voice cutting through Felix's thoughts and giving him peace, "We used to play when we were children."

Malcolm tapped his fingers against his knee as he pondered, studying Felix with intrigue, really using this as an excuse to flat-out _stare_ at him and check him out, "Ah. He's the boy from the orphanage. The one who used to follow you everywhere, right?" He smirked as he leaned forward, piecing together the memories of the past with the memories of last night to paint a vivid image, "You still doing that?"

"What are you getting at?" Peter snapped.

"Nothing, nothing," Malcolm replied, holding up his hands in supplication, "Just an honest inquiry is all."

Peter growled, "Nothing's ever honest about you."

"Peter!" Wendy called out, reaching for Peter's hands from across the coffee table, trying to soothe him, "What's gotten into you?"

While Peter was distracted, Malcolm's eyes immediately fell back onto Felix. He tongued the inside of his cheek, making an obscene gesture with his hands with Peter _right next to him_. Felix wanted to run outside, get as far as he could from this poisonous man. Malcolm kept him rooted where he was, blackmailing him implicitly with all the stories he could tell Peter about the night before.

"Pleased to meet you again, Felix," Malcolm extended a hand exuding nothing but innocence. Felix took it shakily, stiffening when Malcolm held him steady, leaning forward once more to press a kiss to his knuckles. Unlike with Wendy, however, his tongue peeked out from his lips, dragging against the supple flesh briefly before pulling away.

Felix retracted slowly, fighting the urge to flat out scrub the side of his hand up against the couch.

Satisfied, Malcolm turned his attention back to Wendy, "Has Peter ever talked about me? I take it he hasn't or else you'd know about our... less-than-pleasant relationship," A sad smiled graced his features, face creased with age and what appeared to be _guilt_ , "I wasn't a good father. I'm still not. And it's too late for me to make amends."

Peter scoffed but Wendy nodded, acknowledging his father's words, "I don't think it's ever too late to make amends."

Malcolm's eyes darkened with her words, immediately placing a target on Wendy as he carefully calculated his next move, "You're a sweet girl. My son is lucky to have a future with you. But for me," Malcolm reclined, sadness in his smile, "I have to reap what I've sown."

Peter rolled his eyes as he scoffed loudly, pushing himself to his feet, "I know where this is going," His eyes fell to Wendy first, "You can talk with my father if you want. I'm not having any of this," Peter marched into the kitchen, purposely kicking his father's ankle as he moved, "Felix, come along."

The command came like a reflex and Felix stood and followed, "Shouldn't you be in there with Wendy?" Felix asked as Peter paced back and forth in the kitchen.

"God no. I've had enough of that man's bullshit years ago. I'm not going back in there for more," Peter grumbled, collapsing against the counter, "Whatever. I'll let him spin whatever sob story he wants. He can charm Wendy all he likes, won't change a thing."

Felix responded with a weak shrug, unsure of how to react.

Head suddenly snapping upwards, Peter nearly lunged at Felix, "That man is a liar and a cheat. Don't believe a word he says. Do you understand?"

A cold sweat immediately glistened over Felix's skin. Malcolm's lips were _everywhere_ , his hands probably more familiar with his body than Peter's hands. Felix felt like he'd committed the highest form of treason. Before Peter could read the apprehension, Felix nodded back dumbly to distract him.

Peter huffed, relieved as he collapsed back against the side of the counter, "This was a stupid idea. Whatever Wendy was thinking, seeing my old man. I bet he'll try to get involved with the wedding now."

Felix scoffed weakly, "Maybe he'll say that he's going to plan it."

Peter laughed, tossing his head to the side, "I knew it was a good idea to bring you along," He reached up, patting Felix's cheek with his palm.

The taller boy smiled back, remembering how Peter used to pat him on the head when Felix amused him and how the pat on the head gradually moved to his cheek when Felix began to overtake the boy in height. Absently, Felix reached forward and gave Peter's head a tentative pat. Immediately, his leader reeled with faux offense, "Don't push it, Felix. You'll do well to remember that I was the taller one last we stood in this kitchen."

Felix snickered, standing up close so he could purposely tower of Peter's head, "Mmhmm. I remember," He propped himself up with one hand against the counter, examining his surroundings, "This place really hasn't changed one bit."

"I'm not surprised. As expected of my father," Peter replied.

Felix had been in this kitchen plenty times before as a child. Peter always cajoled him into games, inviting him to sleepovers after sneaking him out from the orphanage. He remembered Peter's relationship with his father was always strained. It was some time in middle school when Peter and Felix no longer needed to sneak out to see each other did Peter's relationship with his father begin to deteriorate. By the time they'd reached high school, Felix never heard from Malcolm till today.

"I remember he made meatloaf for us once," Felix rambled, "And you were complaining because you wanted burgers."

Peter folded his arms, "I can't believe you still remember that."

Felix smirked, looking down on Peter once more, "I remember that because you threw your meatloaf halfway across the room and got a spanking for it."

Peter playfully swiped Felix across the face, "Oh, is this what we're going to do? Two can play at this game," He got up from the counter, purposely standing tall to reduce the height difference between them as much as he could, "Remember when I took you to an amusement park and you thought I left you behind so you started crying?"

"You _did_ leave me behind," Felix reminded, "You ditched me _for a balloon_."

Peter's brow quirked, Felix's favourite visual tic from his leader, "They were really nice balloons. And you were too slow. Don't forget, I got you one too," He jabbed a finger into Felix's chest, "Or how about that time we had a tickle fight when you slept over and you started crying for my dad because I was winning."

Felix's eyes narrowed, legitimately unable to recall the memory, "If I remember correctly, I was winning and _you_ were the one calling for 'Papa'."

Felix flinched as Peter's hand latched onto his sides, squeezing him as if he were testing for plumpness, "We can settle this right here, right now."

A grin stretched across Felix's face making him look sinister and _proud of it_ as his hands found themselves on Peter's ribs, pulling the shorter boy close so he could tower over him once more, "Bring it on _._ "

Felix's breath hitched when he noticed how close he was to Peter, their hands locking the other in place, their torsos nearly touching. The grin fell, slackening as blush painted over his cheeks and a far more intimate happiness reflected in the depths of his eyes. Felix could see the glee fading from Peter as well, a confused but gentle look on his face. His features were soft, pleasant, like he was lost in the world all this time and Felix had found him again.

Had the circumstances been different, Felix would've kissed him then and there.

"Peter!"

Peter's hands scrambled away from Felix and he nearly leapt across the kitchen away from his comrade. He came towards Wendy, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to her lips. All of the joy Felix had disappeared in an instant. He made his way out of the kitchen. Even now, he just couldn't stomach seeing Peter trading intimacy with someone else. Felix could still feel Peter's touch on his sides, phantom hands still holding him, comforting him.

"How was your talk with my father? No doubt enlightening," Peter remarked.

Wendy reached up to brush Peter's hair off his forehead, straightening out his almost always perfectly groomed hair, "Your father has come up with an excellent idea!"

"What is it?" Peter asked, a smile perking his lips.

Felix watched the two, backing out of the kitchen only for an arm to circle his waist, dragging him back in. Malcolm draped himself over Felix, the innocence in his smile making Felix's stomach twist from the jarring contradictions.

"I'm going to plan your wedding with _your best man_ ," Malcolm declared, jolly, friendly, and utterly _sadistic._ Felix froze in his grasp, hoping that blatant horror wasn't bleeding through his facade, "Won't that be fun, Felix? We can catch up too. Been _so long_ since I've seen you."

For once, Peter was stuttering in an attempt to reason with Wendy, "He has no experience doing this. He's been unemployed for years!"

"Didn't you know? I worked in wedding planning before," Malcolm said, smiling too sweetly to be sincere.

"Bullshit," Peter replied, still glaring at his father, "Since when?"

Peter immediately regretted the inquiry, knowing that his father was just baiting him. He rolled his eyes as Malcolm returned to the living room, _pulling Felix along with him_. The tall blond was shepherded along like an animal, afraid to fight back and expose their sleazy affair.

Spread all along the table were wedding photos, plans, magazines dated back several years, more than enough to prove Malcolm's claim. There were already fresh ink on the sheets, Malcolm already settling on plans for the wedding. Peter clicked his tongue and glared at his father. Although he despised the man, he had to respect how he perfected the art of _fabrication_.

But most of all, Malcolm's ability to manipulate situations was absolutely unparalleled. Peter knew if he were to call his father out, show that his claim was nothing more than the product of a con artist, Wendy would instantly be wary of him. Depending on what Malcolm said, it could likely hold off the engagement till Wendy learned exactly _where_ Peter came from. Peter hissed at his father, turning away and mumbling, "I never knew that about you."

Malcolm smirked, pleased that he still read his son perfectly, "Of course, you and Wendy would still get to make the big decisions, flowers, cake, bridesmaids. I'll handle the technical details, like booking the hall, handling reception," His hand purposely glided up Felix's back, caressing his neck intimately before ruffling his hair, "And your best man knows what you like. I can ask him for help."

Felix shuddered at the touch, quickly glancing over to Wendy, "I don't know anything about Wendy."

"She's volunteered her brother John to help," Malcolm explained, smirking.

"He'll be quite busy with his job but I'm sure he'll make time to help with the wedding," Wendy commented. Felix let out an amused scoff, curious on whether John really would make time for him.

"Absolutely not," Peter nearly hissed, "Especially not John. We hate each other."

"What? Since when?" Wendy asked.

Peter cleared his throat loudly, folding his arms, "J-Just a while back."

"Come on, laddie, he's going to be your brother-in-law soon. You should try to bury the hatchet while you still can," Malcolm said, smiling along unperturbed as Peter glowered at him. He turned his attention to Felix immediately, startling the boy with their close proximity, "Why don't you try convincing him, Felix? Tell him it's a good idea, _love_."

Felix's eyes narrowed for just a moment, teeth baring slightly as he backed off. Peter caught it immediately, always knowing whenever Felix was angry or upset. He rushed forward, ready to jump between his best friend and his father before Felix extended a hand and stopped him, "Can I talk to you in private?"

"Sure," Peter said, already reaching for Felix's arm to pull him out.

"No, not you," Felix replied, steely eyes locked onto Malcolm's, "I want to talk with your father."

Peter blinked, stuttered, unable to process the situation. Eager to take advantage of the situation, Malcolm swiftly approached Peter and threw an arm around his shoulders, "You heard the man. If you don't mind waiting outside..." Malcolm said, chuckling lightly as he walked Peter and Wendy out the door.

When Malcolm returned, Felix was already sitting on the couch, arms folded and composure returned. Without the threat of their affair leaking to Peter, Felix's confidence returned and he was able to stare Malcolm in the eye without the slightest quiver of fear.

"I like that look," Malcolm said, taking a seat on the couch across from Felix chuckling away like a madman, "Anyone ever tell you how sexy you look when you glare?"

"What do you want?"

Malcolm's brow quirked upward, revealing where Peter had picked up the habit, "I think it's quite obvious what I want," He crossed his legs, shifting around on the couch till he found a comfortable but imposing position. However, no matter how much he moved, his eyes were locked onto Felix's, completely immobile despite his shifting body, "I want Peter to marry into the Darling family so I can live the rest of my life comfortably. I'd think a smart boy like you could figure that out on your own," Felix's expression only darkened, not at the sick truth but at the contradiction of Malcolm's actions. A smirk stretched across Malcolm's face, "Seeing you again, there's going to be a change in plans."

"What happened last night will _never_ happen again," Felix hissed.

Malcolm pouted, tilting his head to the side, "I liked you better when you were horny."

Felix shuddered at the statement knowing that Peter was just a few steps away from eavesdropping. Malcolm was trying to unnerve him and Felix couldn't let him win, "Whatever you want, I'm not playing along," Felix snapped, standing up and rushing towards the door.

An arm looped around his waist, pulling him intimately, "Silly Felix. You're already playing," Malcolm cooed into his ear, trapping Felix in his arms.

Growling, Felix grabbed Malcolm by the wrist and wrenched backwards, twisting the older man's arm behind his back. He'd done plenty of dirty work for Pan in high school, acting as an unofficial bodyguard for his king. Despite his current domestic life, Felix was once the worst ruffian working under Pan.

"Don't mock me," Felix hissed, purposely twisting Malcolm's arm harder and enjoying the struggle a bit too much.

Malcolm twisted his head around, eyes glowing as a feral smirk crossed his lips, "So cute," He sighed, voice husky and almost erotic.

Before Felix could process the response, Malcolm crushed Felix's foot with his heel. The boy cried out, grip staying strong but his stance broken. Taking advantage of Felix's disarray, Malcolm shifted himself around, moving in an intense but calculated movement so _Felix's_ arm was now twisted. He secured Felix's arm painfully behind his back, ignoring the cries as he pinned the back of his wrist between his shoulder blades. No momentum wasted, Malcolm shoved Felix into the wall and crowded up against him.

" _Who do you think you're dealing with, boy_?" Malcolm growled into Felix's ear, crushing Felix against the wall with his body, "I've been doing this for more years than you've been born. Where do you think Peter gets it from?" Felix cried out when Malcolm twisted his arm just a bit more, a single twitch away from popping his shoulder right out, "You're going to go out there and tell Peter that you'd be happy to work on the wedding with me, that this would be a good send off to his beloved best friend. And if you say anything else," Malcolm added pressure to his trapped arm, "I'll tell my son all about the fun we had last night, the handjob in the bathroom, grinding against each other at your front door. And don't be mistaken, Peter may be able to see through my lies but he'll always know when I speak the truth."

Felix glared at Malcolm through one eye, his body trembling under his grip, " _Fuck you_ ,"

"Language, Felix," Malcolm cooed, his free hand pressed against Felix's chest, "What are you going to tell Peter?" Malcolm asked, pinching and prodding when Felix refused to respond.

Felix growled at Malcolm's searching hand, unable to do a thing lest he dislocate his shoulder. He didn't want to submit but he couldn't do anything else. His legs buckled against the wall but Malcolm kept him pinned up with his body. Felix's breathing became harsh and heavy as Malcolm's hand slid around his leg, pressing against the seat of his pants intimately.

"Don't-!"

The sound of the storm door cracking open made both of them jump. In a panic, Malcolm pulled away and quickly stuffed his hands into his pockets to occupy them. Felix fixed his clothes in a flurry, looking away and hoping for the redness of his face to subside.

"I'm sure there's a good reason-" Wendy's voice could be heard outside.

"There are no good reasons with _him_ ," Peter growled, shoving the door open, already glaring at Malcolm, "What the hell are you planning?"

Before Malcolm could speak, Felix dove in front of Peter, "I'd love to work on the wedding."

Peter was confused, mouth gaping before his features narrowed and his focus returned to Malcolm, "What did you say-"

"You...you're my best friend," Felix declared, cutting in front of the two again, "After you get married, we won't be able to hang out as much. Think of this as a send-off," Felix took a step back, placing a hand onto Malcolm's shoulder in a friendly gesture, "And it's been so long since I've spoke to your father. This would be a good time to catch up."

Peter was silent as he observed Felix. He knew something was wrong, that Felix must've had some plot planted into his mind by his father. The telltale glow on Malcolm's face was a dead giveaway. However, for Felix to play along, Peter knew something awful must've happened.

Respecting Felix's decision, Peter nodded, " _Okay_ ," He said quietly, "Okay," He repeated when Felix nodded to him. He had enough of this house, enough of his father. Without anymore words, he stepped outside and walked towards the car.

Wendy was at his side before Felix had even stepped forward. Peter was clearly disgruntled, already ranting about his father while said man was still in earshot. Felix removed his hand from Malcolm, wiping it down the side of his jeans. Malcolm's eyes had followed the hand, a smirk playing on his lips.

"You got my number, right?" Malcolm cooed.

Felix didn't want to reply. He made for the door only to be restrained by an unfeeling hand on his forearm, testing the still sore flesh from the violent angle it was forced into moments ago, "What now?" Felix grumbled.

"Tomorrow, 6:00 pm, dinner here," Malcolm _commanded_ , "Dress nicely."

Felix growled in response but nodded regardless. He went for the door once more only to be restrained again by the older man.

"You still like pasta fagioli?" Malcolm asked with a playful hum.

Refusing to even humour Malcolm, Felix tore away from his grasp and shut the door behind him, hopping into the car and driving off without a single moment of hesitation.

 

"Your father really doesn't seem so bad," Wendy remarked. Peter groaned in reply, keeping his gaze fixed out the window.

Felix peered at Peter through his rear-view mirror, nothing the look of utter dissatisfaction on his face. Usually, he'd be prodding Peter by now, trying to get the boy to open up and vent his rage. This was Wendy's job now and Felix had no choice but to accept it. He let out a shallow sigh and turned back to the road, adjusting the mirror back to its proper height.

At Peter's lack of response, Wendy sighed exasperatedly, "You've been dodging me every time I asked you this but as your fiancée, I deserve to know. What happened between you and your father?"

A growl slipped from Peter's lips. Felix could tell he was about to explode, was about to lash out at Wendy and storm off when Felix stopped the car. He was restraining himself though; he didn't want Wendy to see the part of him only Felix ever knew.

"You don't need to know _what_ he did," Peter muttered darkly, "All you need to know is that he fooled me for a long time before I finally saw his true nature," His voice lowered, tone harsh and feral, "And it's uglier and more repulsive than you should _ever_ be exposed to."

Felix swore as Peter condemned his father that his eyes flickered to _him_ and not Wendy. He thought nothing of it, knowing that he was probably projecting his own desires onto Peter. Malcolm left a sour taste in his mouth, the dull ache of his shoulder still fresh on his body despite the long drive. Lost in his thoughts, Felix hadn't noticed that Wendy was watching him from the rear-view mirror.

"Felix, what happened between them?" Wendy asked, knowing that Peter confided everything to his best friend.

"He doesn't know," Peter cut in.

"Felix, please!" Wendy shouted.

Felix shook his head rapidly, forcing himself to watch the road and not Peter's pleading fiancée, "I don't know. I-I stopped visiting Peter's house when we were in middle school."

Felix had no idea what happened between the two. All he knew was that it started before Christmas break in their second year of middle school. Peter followed Felix back to the orphanage on the last day of school and camped there for the entirety of the holiday. He never mentioned his father, snarling at Felix whenever he mentioned returning home. From then on, Peter never returned to his father, choosing to stay at his friends' homes instead. It was where Felix met Rufio, Devin, and a few other boys who eventually joined them as "The Lost Boys" in high school.

Felix let out an appreciative hum, somewhat pleased that both he and Wendy were in the dark. He pulled up in front of the Darling estate, not bothering to pull into the driveway knowing that security and whatnot would be all over him and his dilapidated car. Wendy gave one last look to Peter before pecking his cheek and pulling away.

"I'll see you for breakfast tomorrow?" Wendy said.

Peter glanced to her, his mood obviously sour but he forced a smile on his face as he exited the car, "Always," He watched her enter the estate through a side door before slipping into the front seat next to Felix. The smile immediately died and he spoke with a cold voice, "Drive."

Obeying, Felix drove on ahead with no destination in mind. He usually circled around the city, rounding near taverns or coffee shops so they'd have a quick go-to place if Peter wanted to sit and talk. He had been driving for nearly an hour and Peter hadn’t spoken a word. His face was turned out the window, clearly trying to prevent Felix from reading his expression. Felix felt almost guilty for catching Peter's sulky reflection in the mirror.

"Peter?" Felix muttered as he rounded the corner into a random neighbourhood, "I need to work at The Rabbit Hole tonight. Do you mind if we talk at the bar?" Felix slowed his car when Peter turned to him, the flickering streetlight highlighting his features make his eyes look as if they were on fire.

"Stop the car," Peter said. Almost immediately, Felix pulled over beneath a streetlight. Before he could inquire, Peter reached forward and grabbed his keys from the ignition, pocketing them, "You don't have to work on the wedding. It was just a stupid idea Wendy and my father came up with."

"I can do it," Felix replied quietly, "I'd do anything for you."

Peter smirked, pleased with his response but still suspicious. He knew his father had a hand in this, "What did my father say to you?"

Felix froze, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest, "He didn't-"

"Don't lie to me. I always know when you're lying," Peter interrupted, voice low and angry.

It was true. Felix could never lie to Peter's face even when he was little. He'd start to flush and look away despite keeping his voice even in tone. _But he couldn't tell Peter the truth_. Felix opted for silence, arms draped over the wheel staring down the street trying to ignore Peter's burning gaze.

"You were all flustered when I came in. He did something to you, didn't he?"

Felix froze at the statement. His breath hitched and he knew Peter noticed. He swallowed harshly as he slumped over his wheel, crumpling in on himself at Peter's dead accurate assumption.

Peter growled, slamming a fist into the dashboard, "That bastard. If he ever comes near you again-"

"I can handle it," Felix shouted suddenly, forcing himself to look Peter in the eye.

"He's _my_ father."

"Peter, _really_ ," Felix stuttered as he spoke bought kept a stern tone, "I don't need you to take care of me anymore."

Peter looked upset, lips pouting and eyes cast downward. Since they were children, Peter always took on the responsibility of caring for Felix. If Felix was in trouble, Peter would always be at his side. The fact that his wedding prevented Peter from helping Felix was _crippling_. He reclined in his seat, eyes never leaving Felix even when the taller boy turned away.

"I know his tricks. That whole scene today was rehearsed. He starts off being rude or disgusting. It's a bad impression but at least now, he's got your attention. And then, he'll start to analyze you, read your weakness, before coaxing out your life story so he'll have ammunition to use against you. Then he'll use all of that and twist it all into something heartfelt and friendly to sweep you off your feet by delivering exactly what you want. It's all a trick and you can't ever fall for it, alright?"

Felix shrugged lazily. He felt like he already failed Peter's request. He let out a small gasp when he felt a pat on his cheek. Peter didn't look happy but the reassuring gesture made it clear that he wasn't angry at Felix.

"Drive me to The Rabbit Hole," Peter commanded, handing the keys back to Felix.

Pulling away from the curb, Felix made a U-turn on the street and drove back into the heart of the town.

 

The day the orphanage heard of Pan's gang and Felix's involvement, they had quickly cut off all their ties with the lanky boy. Felix never blamed them for it; he was an awful student and an even worse influence to the rest of the orphans, cajoling them into mischief and welcoming them as honorary lost boys. However, by cutting off all ties with Felix, he was no longer their financial burden and was shooed into the streets for a job.

This was how Felix ended up at The Rabbit Hole, an assistant bartender mixing drinks alongside the friendly, pudgy owner. Of course, Peter helped him fabricate his identification, making Felix officially legal to work in a bar. He wondered if the owner knew this right from the start and simply didn't care. The Rabbit Hole wasn't exactly known for their high moral standards and bartending assistants were certainly hard to come by in the squeaky-clean town.

Every night Felix had a shift, Peter would always sit at the corner seat in the bar. Without fail, he'd always be there and if someone took his seat, it'd only be a matter of minutes before Peter reclaimed it.

"Peter! Felix!" The owner greeted them with a wave, "Made sure no one took your seat. If we have any more broken kneecaps, they'll send the cops in."

Peter chuckled darkly, his mood lightened just a tad from the fond memory. He took a seat at his stool, watching as Felix stepped behind the bar and fixed him a drink: Apple Martini in a green tinted glass, Peter's choice drink.

Felix had gone the entire first hour without speaking to Peter. At most, his leader gave him a few reassuring nods and salutes when Felix looked his way but he never spoke a word. This at least let Felix concentrate on his customers. When the crowd died down, Felix returned to Peter's spot at the bar, wiping down the table and replacing his empty martini glass.

Peter smiled at him drunkenly. Felix knew it was a ruse; Peter could drink anyone under the table, "So, when did you start working here? I've never seen you working the bar before," Peter purposely slurred, playing as a drunk stranger as he traced the rim of his glass with a finger.

Felix chuckled at Peter's display, sliding the cocktail he had prepared out of his hands, "Sir, I think you've had too much to drink. I need to cut you off," He was pleased that Peter's mood had lightened, his father no longer a relevant topic in his mind.

Peter pawed in the air like a cat when Felix held his drink high up, dangling it just out of his hands. Letting out an absolutely _precious_ whine, Peter collapsed back onto the bar when his pawing ended up fruitless. Felix chuckled lightly, putting the drink behind him. Felix quickly looked over Peter's shoulder, noticing a group of women in the back giggling at Peter's adorable display.

"Hey, I got a good idea. How about I buy you a drink?" Peter prodded a finger into Felix's chest, "Then we can share a toast together."

Felix smirked, taking an empty glass from the table and wiping it absently with a stray cloth, "Nice try but I don't drink on the job. Why don't you ask those girls over there for a drink?" Felix nodded to the back, the girls waving to Peter flirtatiously.

Peter scoffed loudly, too loud to be anything but comical. He slumped over the bar as he stared at Felix, "Oh Felix," He said aloud, "I don't want a girl. I'd rather snuggle with you any day," He gave Felix's chest a playful smack, giggling like a drunk.

Felix should have been offended. He should've been mortified. Peter was playing with his feelings for him, mocking him without being aware. In the pit of his stomach, he felt an insistent, stinging pain that he desperately buried with pleasant memories. He smiled instead, laughing along with Peter before smacking the boy over the head.

"You messed up," Felix said, "You called me by name," He took a sip of Peter's martini before handing it back to him, noting that he hadn't added enough lemon juice to balance the sweetness.

Peter snickered into his arms, peering up with his chin on the desk with an amused smile, "It was a lucky guess," Felix rolled his eyes as he shook his head, chuckling as he made his way back to the center of the bar only for Peter to grapple him from behind and pull him nearly over the counter, "Where do you think you're going, _hm_?"

Felix yelped as Peter pulled him back, careful to control his flailing so he wouldn't knock down any bottles on the back wall. He was surprised the owner hadn't fired him yet for their incessant foolery. Although, they certainly provided entertainment in the bar, customers dropping in just to see what chaos Peter would bring upon Felix next.

While in the middle of his struggles, Felix peered back to the girls who had been interested in Peter before. They returned their attention to their drinks, not even glancing over when Peter began to shout. To anyone's eyes in The Rabbit Hole, Felix and Peter were a couple. Peter could make Felix smile like no other patron could; only Peter was allowed to touch him. Anyone in that bar would agree, _Peter and Felix were perfect for each other_. Yet, as Felix waved his friend goodbye after he declined a drive back, he remembered that Peter was _engaged_. Peter would never be his. With that reminder, the violating touch of Malcolm's hands upon his skin returned, far more comforting than Felix had hoped.

 

The glowing red numbers counted down. Felix hadn't slept at all last night, constantly waking every twenty minutes. The sun had just barely risen when he gave up, laying splayed on his bed toying with the teddy bear John had given him yesterday. With so much time to think, Felix realized that this bear was the only actual gift he received. They hadn't celebrated with the lost boys, Peter insisting instead that they celebrate with his classmates from college, no doubt to suit the engagement announcement.

It was another painful thought that nearly drove Felix to tears. They always celebrated his birthday with the Lost Boys and if not with them, Peter would have kept his full attention on Felix. He curled up on his side, feeling like a child as he clutched the bear to his chest. The desperate want of Malcolm's comfort returned, making Felix feel dirty. Perhaps tonight, he'd go back to Neverland and find another person to jerk him off in the bathroom. _I hope it's not Wendy's father this time_. Felix snickered sadly at his own joke, staring mindlessly as the digital clock and hoping it would just _stop_ so he wouldn't have to see tomorrow.

When morning came, Felix got dressed, picked up the worn backpack he had since the start of high school, and rushed out. Even if he couldn't be Peter's lover, he'd always be there for him, which involved sitting in his class taking notes when his leader was obviously too easily distracted to do it himself. Why Peter chose to take a course on Criminal Sociology was beyond Felix. Peter always had a fairly solid philosophy when it came to criminal behaviour and he hated being corrected.

Although the lanky boy was not properly enrolled, he would always show up for each of Peter's classes without fail jotting down study notes for him and prodding him awake anytime he dozed off. Felix may not have won the favour of his upper-class colleagues with his grungy look and antisocial tendencies but none of it mattered, he had _Peter_.

Ever since Wendy came into Peter's life, for the first time ever, Felix began to feel reluctance hanging around him. As the professor prattled on about situational crime, Felix diligently jotted down the notes in neat, organized sections while Peter nuzzled Wendy like a cat, pressing kisses to the top of her head trying to distract her as well.

_"Not so loud, beautiful. We don't want security to kick us out while you're still hard."_

Felix shifted around in his seat uncomfortably, trying to ignore the spicy images flashing through his head.

"Felix?" Peter whispered, pulling away from Wendy and nudging at his friend's arm, "You okay?"

Startled, Felix shifted away from Peter at first, trying to gather his composure. He felt hot; he knew he was definitely blushing, caught fantasizing about sex by the object of his unrequited affection, "Tired," He whispered back. Felix flinched when he felt Peter's hand on his forehead, sweeping his messy blond locks out of the way so he could press his whole palm onto the flesh, "R-Really, I'm fine."

"You're a bit warm," Peter said, "Go home and get some sleep."

"Peter, really. I'll be fine." Felix said before yelping as Peter grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him over.

Peter spoke loud enough for the entire hall to hear them, effectively halting the lecture, "Go home and get some sleep right now. And if I visit and you are _not sleeping_ , so help me Felix, there will be one hell of a punishment waiting for you. Understand?"

At the close proximity and the public proclamation, all Felix could do was blush harder and nod dumbly. He scrambled to collect his notes, shoving them haphazardly into his bag before dashing up the stairs and out of the lecture hall. Peter remained where he sat, thoroughly satisfied with the interruption and shooting coy smirks to his glaring colleagues.

Wendy was clearly annoyed, tugging at Peter's arm when the lecture continued, "Why did you do that? Now everyone's staring at us."

Peter shrugged lazily. Being the center of attention was always something Peter wanted, regardless of the way he got it. He submitted eventually though, whispering his apologies into her hair before returning his attention to the slides, already _bored_ without Felix there to distract him.

_Peter stuck out his tongue as he shoved the bowl aside, "I hate beans."_

_Malcolm chuckled at his son's incessant picky eating, "Felix likes it. Maybe you should give it a try too," His father gestured to the little blond sitting at the table snapping up large spoonfuls of Malcolm's pasta fagioli._

_"Felix, stop liking it! That's an order!" Peter commanded._

_Felix gasped at the command, looking shakily at the bowl and back at Peter. He always followed whatever Peter asked of him but this was just a command he could_ not _follow, "But I can't," Felix replied, sucking on the spoon nervously. This was the best thing he had ever eaten, so much more savory and rich than the bland, cheap boxed food the orphanage served him._

_With a childish 'hmph', Peter folded his arms and turned away from Felix, "Then I'm never talking to you ever again."_

_"Wah! No!" Felix cried out, reaching for Peter and nearly in tears._

_Malcolm clicked his tongue at Peter, disapproving of his son's childishness, "Come on, laddie, that's not nice," He knelt down, hoisting Felix up into the air and patting him on the back, "Don't cry. I'll be your friend," He gave Felix's nose a playful poke, "Let's go eat in the den. I'll even let you watch TV while you eat," He picked up Felix's bowl of pasta, carrying both the boy and his lunch into the living room._

_"N-No!" Peter shouted, leaping off his chair and tugging on Malcolm's shirt, "You can't do that, Papa! Felix is MY friend!" Peter puffed with rage as Malcolm hugged Felix in response, purposely holding him out of Peter's reach, "That's not fair!"_

_Felix promptly hugged Malcolm around the neck, giggling at the attention both of them were giving him._

Felix stretched as he awoke. He had fallen dead asleep when he returned home, Peter's commands still potent even when unconscious. He pushed himself up carefully, eyes scanning the room to see if Peter really had dropped by. On close inspection, he noted that he _really_ needed to clean his apartment. The place was small, really just a bedroom, bathroom, and a kitchenette right by his bed. Even small messes looked big in comparison to the meager living space.

Felix nearly fell back asleep till he noticed the teddy bear sitting on the clock holding a folded piece of paper. Curious, Felix sat back up and took the bear off his clock, removing the tiny green hat on it's head folded together using green post-its. Recognizing Peter's handiwork, Felix chuckled lightly and placed the hat back onto the bear. He opened the slip of paper, reading aloud Peter's message.

"Good, you're sleeping. You looked exhausted today. I got you some soup from Granny's. It's in your fridge in the plastic tub. I wish you were awake though. Had a wicked little punishment planned," Felix smiled softly, pleased that Peter was worried about him. His smile dropped as he read the next line however, "Don't worry about the notes. _Wendy will let me copy hers_."

Felix didn't finish the letter, folding it up and tossing it into the trash. He had enough of Wendy displacing his position in Peter's life. In the privacy of his apartment, he didn't need reminding. He curled up on the bed again, absently staring at the teddy bear and the hat upon its head. Peter was always better with origami, his fingers far more suited for delicate folds than his. Felix once again nearly fell back asleep till his eyes dropped onto the clock's screen: 7:34 pm. Why did Felix feel like he was forgetting something…

He picked up his phone, checking his calendar to see if he had any events planned. He noted that he had missed three calls from an unknown number, one at 6:15, another at 6:45, and the final one at 7:00. Telemarketers were never so persistent and he hadn't given anyone his phone number recently. However, the number did look familiar. Where had he seen those digits before?

A crumpled piece of paper with smudged numbers scrawled onto it.

_"Tomorrow, 6:00 pm, dinner here," Malcolm commanded, "Dress nicely."_

Felix gasped, mouth gaping, whole body seizing, "No, no, no, no!" Felix cried out, shucking on random clothes from the ground and bolting out the door with his car keys. As if his life could get any fucking worse. The last thing he needed was for Malcolm to tell Peter all about their one-night stand. Speeding down the street, Felix tried calling Malcolm, repeatedly redialing but always going straight to voicemail. The bastard was toying with him. As if that man would be busy doing anything.

It was nearly 8 by the time he arrived. He parked his car haphazardly in the driveway in a clearly crooked angle and ran up the cobblestone path, hammering at the storm door with his fist, "Malcolm!" He barked, begging that the man hadn't said a thing to his son, "Malcolm, open up!"

The front door opened revealing Malcolm dressed in nothing but loose pajama bottoms with a cup of hot chocolate in hand, "So you arrive at 8:00, you're dressed in dirty laundry, next thing you'll tell me is that you're here for breakfast."

Felix let out a small laugh, peering around curiously.

"Don't be shy," Malcolm said, smirk stretching across his face as he stepped back and extended an arm, "Come right in."

Felix took a seat on the couch, trying to straighten out the creases in his sweater. He couldn't quite remember when he wore this but the slightest smell of engine grease told him it was when he went to Tillman's for an oil change. That was about _two weeks ago_. Felix let out a disapproving huff, promising to do his laundry sometime this week.

"Here we are," Malcolm said, dropping a tray onto the coffee table, "Pasta fagioli with pancetta on top. Your favourite back when you were little."

Felix raised a brow, examining the meal. The name was unfamiliar when Malcolm first asked him but he could always remember that rich, spicy smell. He watched Malcolm place a second tray beside him, sitting down on the floor so he could eat off the coffee table. Following suit, Felix slid down from the couch and knelt beside the older man, stirring at his meal with his spoon.

"When you invited me over for dinner and told me to dress nicely, eating at a coffee table watching Masterchef wasn't exactly what I was expecting," Felix commented in a snippy tone.

Malcolm snorted back, smirking, "When I invited you over for dinner and told you to dress nicely, I didn't expect you to be two hours late. I had candles set up and everything."

"Ha! A candlelit dinner with someone you jerked off in a nightclub?" Felix scoffed, "You're so romantic."

"A candlelit dinner with my son's best friend whom I haven't seen in years," Malcolm corrected.

"That sounds even worse," Felix replied, stuffing a spoonful of beans into his mouth.

Malcolm smirked as he ate, "Perhaps. I have a lot to talk about and I wanted to make a good impression," He reclined against the couch, "Where did you learn that trick?"

"What trick?" Felix replied, trying to distract himself with the bowl of pasta in front of him.

Malcolm flexed his arm, "You know. Twisting my arm around like that."

Felix scoffed, "Don't humour me. You knew how to get out of it."

"Well, I never said you were better than me," Malcolm replied coyly, giggling when Felix rolled his eyes, "But I picked it up dealing in some really shady business. You're too young for something like that."

"Ha!" Felix barked with a spoonful of pasta in his mouth. He lapped at a drop of sauce on the spoon, unintentionally causing Malcolm to _stare_ at him, " _Too young_. No such rule," He studied Malcolm briefly, judging whether he was worthy to listen to his tale. Peter severed all ties with him in middle school which meant high school was a huge blank to Malcolm, "I was in a gang: The Lost Boys."

Malcolm leered, eyes narrowing with amusement, "I know. Did you really think Peter could keep all of that away from me? I'm his father," He turned the volume down on the TV as he spoke, "I'm not talking about the broad picture here. I want to know where you personally learned how to do that."

Truth be told, Felix didn't learn to fight anywhere. War was an instinct to the Lost Boy leader. In one day, in a single fight filled with twisted limbs and broken noses, Felix's reputation in high school went from the awkward, quiet lanky boy to an _unbalanced psychopath_. Years of living in an orphanage, fighting with bullies, _giving up everything for_ Peter, built up to this moment. The suspension was worth it for the looks on everyone's face when they saw him again and how the unfamiliar strayed away.

More importantly, however, was that Peter _absolutely loved it._ From that moment on, every Lost Boy had to know how to fight and Felix would personally train all of them. Bit by bit, trading techniques between the gang of ruffians, Felix built up his battle-proficiency.

Felix hadn't even realized he was smiling, looking like a lovesick fool despite the violent thoughts rumbling through his mind. He _really_ liked fighting which made it all the more disappointing when Peter pushed it all aside when he went to college.

His smile dropped slightly when a pressure on his back shook him from his thoughts. He returned his attention to Malcolm, flinching when he noticed the older man staring at him with a pleasant look on his face as if the mere sight of Felix gave him pleasure. His arm rested behind Felix, pressing just slightly against his back as it lay on the edge of the couch seat.  

"Go on," Malcolm said, his voice smooth and quiet as he sat on the floor watching Felix, "This is the first time I've seen you so happy. Takes me back a few years when I used to get into fights," He chuckled as he pulled his arm away, slouching against the side of the couch with his legs splayed under the coffee table, "You were such a precious little boy, always smiling and laughing around Peter," Malcolm nudged at the bowl of pasta in front of Felix, "Remember when I used to spoon-feed you?"

Felix snickered, dropping his spoon into his bowl and shoving it away. The pasta and the living room brought back memories sitting in Malcolm's lap as the older man fed him. Felix was perfectly fine eating it on his own; he just loved how flustered Peter would get whenever Felix's attention was not on him.

"Remember when Peter threw a tantrum because I carried you off into the living room to eat?" Malcolm said with a laugh. His words summoned another warm smile from Felix, his eyes half-lidded and soft as memories of his beloved friend resurfaced. Noticing the warmth, Malcolm leaned forward and brushed his chin with the back of his finger, "There's that smile again."

The warm memories, the warm voice, warmth, _happiness_ , things he hadn't felt since Peter found Wendy. _It's all a trick and you can't ever fall for it_

He stiffened when Peter's warning echoed in his thoughts, shattering the fond memories Malcolm had rejuvenated, "Don't touch me," Felix snapped as he flinched away from Malcolm's hand.

Malcolm looked hurt, his hand lingering in the air as Felix recoiled from his touch, "Felix, what's wrong?"

"Shut up," Felix growled, suddenly remembering what this man had did and why he was here in the first place, "Let me make it clear. I'm only here because you're blackmailing me. We're not friends or family trying to make up for lost time so stop with this reminiscent bullshit."

"We were just talking," Malcolm tried to reassure only for Felix to shove the man back and stand up, making his way to the door. The older man scrambled to his feet and followed close behind him, "Sure, I played a bit dirty to get you here in the first place but I want you to stay here on your own volition."

Felix bared his teeth at Malcolm, grabbing the man's shoulders and shoving him against the stairs harshly, "Don't push it. Peter already told me about your 'Carrot and Stick' tactics," Felix hissed, face nearly pressed against the older man's as he spoke, "First you make a bad impression by molesting me against the staircase. Then you try to win me over with stories about Peter while coaxing stories from me," He leaned in closer, hot breath misting on Malcolm's chin. The older man looked mortified but Felix refused to step down; to step down would be to doubt Peter, "I bet you were going to talk more about Peter, weren't you? Give us some common ground then eventually work your way up to how I feel about him, giving you ammunition to use against me," Felix's voice low and intimidating as he spoke, " _Don't fuck with me._ "

For a moment, Malcolm was quiet. For just the briefest of naïve moments, Felix thought he had gone too far and let his paranoia take over. The man looked defeated, disappointed, like he'd failed again. Perhaps Peter was wrong and his father really was just a foolish, boorish idiot with bad taste in jokes.

" _Oh, aren't you just a delight?_ "

Lips twisted into a feral yet calculate grin, _a sadist's smile_ , eyes darkened with sin, not a lick of innocence reflected on Malcolm's face. Felix was completely taken aback by the change in Malcolm's mood. Even the air became tenser, chilled by the presence of the scoundrel pinned against the staircase. Felix shivered under those lusty, sinful eyes, unable to move in that split second which Malcolm took full advantage of. He grabbed Felix's wrists, pinning them over his head before pressing forward _,_ grinding their hips together before shoving a knee _hard_ between Felix's legs. The lanky blond cried out at the contact, face flushing a violent shade of red.

Felix's words sounded like a challenge to Malcolm and he fully accepted his terms.

"Peter chose well," Malcolm muttered in a husky voice, words dripping with poison as he spoke with his lips pressed into Felix's cheek, "Although, I don't quite remember _molesting you against the staircase_. Light teasing maybe but no _molesting_ as you so graciously put it,"

Felix bit down on his lips, growling to cover the unwanted hoarseness the pleasure had twisted his voice with, "You considered that light teasing?"

"In comparison to what we did in Neverland, hell yes," Malcolm replied, grinding his knee upward harshly. Felix shuddered to the touch, whining and hanging his head as his captor refused to relent, "You remember what I said about liars, right? And I'd hate for you to be a liar," Pinning Felix's wrists above his head with one hand, Malcolm's hand snuck down and unbuttoned the front of Felix's pants, "So let's make this truth, shall we?"

Felix shuddered, mumbling out a flurry of no's, twisting and squirming fruitlessly as Malcolm took the zipper of his jeans into his hand. Malcolm studied Felix's movements; the boy could fight so it was peculiar to see him so docile under his hands. A feral smirk crossed Malcolm's face at the realization, _Naughty boy_. With a sigh, Malcolm released the zipper, placing his free hand onto Felix's hip, "Oh please, Felix. Stop being such a drama queen," Malcolm cooed against his neck, lapping at it several times before travelling up to his ear and giving it a tentative nip, "Don't act like you don't want this. Did you hear yourself in that bathroom?"

Felix glared at him, bucking forward violently, "I was drunk."

"Alcohol doesn't put thoughts in your head; it just makes them come out easier," Malcolm replied in a sing-song voice, "I guess all your repressed feelings for my son must come out somehow," He stroked at Felix's side soothingly, watching as Felix forced his breathing to slow.

Felix was never good at regaining composure, especially when he was at such a disadvantage. He wanted to spit cruel words at Malcolm, try to even the playing field despite his compromising position. The best he could managed was a pathetic threat, "I'll tell Peter."

Malcolm smirked, far more amused than annoyed, "Oh?"

"Touch me again and I'll tell him," Felix hissed.

Malcolm hummed with approval, impressed with how vicious Felix could sound despite being trapped under his hands. It didn't mean he'd let Felix win however as he leaned in and took Felix by the chin, forcing them to meet eye-to-eye, "No you won't," He pressed his lips against Felix, careful to avoid his teeth whenever Felix tried to bite him. With a harsh kiss, bruising Felix's soft lips and intoxicating Felix with the taste of his tongue, he robbed the boy of strength and rendered him putty in his hands.

Even as he trembled, Felix glared at Malcolm, his pride cracked but not shattered. Despite the setback caused by his son's warning, Malcolm had Felix right back where he wanted him, "Maybe you should tell him. Then Peter can stop beating around the bush and finally confess to you," Felix froze. Malcolm smirked. The older man knew Felix could never resist anything involving Peter's affection. Felix was shaking his head unconsciously, denying it, "Don't believe me?"

"He loves Wendy," Felix muttered too quickly, wincing at how desperate he sounded.

"Wendy Darling? That princess? Does that even seem remotely like his type?" Malcolm scoffed loudly, "Peter and I are _very_ similar despite how much he wants to distance himself from me. I know what he wants from her, money, power. But more importantly, I know what he wants from _you_."

Felix was shaking his head. There's no way. Peter didn't love him. Peter chose college, he disbanded the gang, he let Wendy replace him.

"Don't believe me, do you?" Malcolm whispered into Felix's ear. He released his wrists, knowing that his words would keep the boy pinned against his stairs, " _Then how about we make a wager?_ "

"Wager for what?" Felix murmured, trying to flatten himself against the stairs to get away from this poisonous man and his toxic words.

Malcolm absently looped a finger in Felix's hair, twisting it playfully and loving how confusion prevented the boy from fighting back, "If I can't get Peter to confess to you before the wedding, I will never bother you again. I'll even cut off my ties with Peter and forfeit any benefits I could've received from the Darling family."

Felix scoffed, straightening himself and keep his eyes to the ground, "You're really confident with yourself, aren't you?" Felix shoved Malcolm back gently, trying to make some breathing space between the two, "What do you get out of this?"

"If I succeed in getting my son to confess," Malcolm's voice was low. He closed in on Felix again, lips dancing over his as he spoke, "I get to fuck you."

His virginity in exchange for proof of Peter's affection.

_It's not worth it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it._

In response, Felix shook his head frantically.

Felix let a whine slip from his mouth as Malcolm suddenly wound an arm around his waist, pulling him flush against his body as his other hand cupped his cheek, caressing his face like a lover as his lips danced over Felix's. His eyes were half-lidded, gaze almost lazy like a lover savouring the afterglow. Betraying himself and swallowing his words, Felix shuddered and slackened in his grasp, nearly draping himself over the older man.

Malcolm's lips twisted into a handsome grin as he watched Felix was deceptively enticing eyes, "We'll see about that."

It took Felix a good minute before he regained control of his body. With every breath the two shared, Felix felt like he was being consumed. The natural magnetism Peter exuded came directly from his scoundrel father but unlike Peter, Malcolm's magnetism was matured, more potent, and utterly effective against Felix.

Felix shook his head frantically, the rest of his body disagreeing with his choice.

Malcolm smiled again, letting go, "Alright," He leered as disappointment flashed on Felix's face, already missing his touch, "When you'd like to talk again," Malcolm whispered in Felix's ear, guiding the lanky boy out the door, "Come find me. The deal's always open," The boy was pliant in his hands, shepherded out of Malcolm's home like a lamb, "See you later, love."

Malcolm sealed their evil deed with a voracious kiss, piercing the corner of Felix's bottom lip before pulling away and shutting the door in his face.

Felix's head was spinning as he returned to his car. He didn't start it, merely sitting in the driver's seat clutching at the wheel as he crushed his forehead into his wrists. There was a voice screaming inside him to take the deal, telling him that Peter's love was worth _more_ than his virginity. What shook him was the second voice speaking to him, low in tone and husky with sex, that kept reminding him of Malcolm's hands on his body, telling him that despite his insistence, Felix was certainly not as unaffected by Malcolm's presence as he liked.

Letting out a frustrated growl, Felix slammed his fists on the wheel of his car before slumping over it, tempted to fall asleep right there.


	2. Pleasure and Privilege

" _And if a double-decker bus, crashes into us_ ," Felix hummed under his breath as he tossed a loaf of bread into his basket. It had been nearly a week since his dinner with Malcolm. Since then, he made it an effort to avoid the older man, using Nibs or Rufio as an excuse whenever Peter needed to see his father. Despite agreeing to work on the wedding, Peter hadn't questioned him at all about, probably aware that his father had an ulterior motive. Felix thanked Peter for that, knowing that he wouldn't be able to deny if Peter ordered him to speak with Malcolm.

He needed to keep that man at a distance; Malcolm was a black hole, threatening to consume Felix and utterly dominate him. For the first week, Felix had been doing well, the scoundrel out of his life except for the lonely nights when Felix thought his libido had gone insane as he fantasized about _Peter's father_. Immediately, Felix cranked up his music, determined to drown out his thoughts.

"To die by your side is such a _heavenly way to die_ ," He removed his phone from his pocket when he heard a ping from his ear buds. He flipped his phone on, noting that Peter had sent him a text message.

_'We r eating with Wendys parents today. U interested?'_

It was common courtesy to invite him along. Felix wished he could just ignore the message.

_'No. I'm busy.'_

_'Please Felix? Wendy's mad at me about my dad and Im going to be so bored without u :('_

Felix was squeezing the phone, nearly mashing in words, 'Is that all I am to you? Entertainment?' He shut his eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths to calm himself before deleting the message, _'I'm working on your wedding. Don’t have time.'_

There was a delay in response. Felix tried not to look into it but couldn't help himself from imagining Peter realizing he had made a mistake in choosing Wendy and being too embarrassed to text back. He put his basket to the side, staring at the phone hoping for the best but expecting nothing.

 _'Ok'_ was all he got.

Felix almost put his phone away till he got a second message. He flipped his phone open again.

_'I really appreciate it. Dont let my dad annoy u, k?'_

It was Felix's turn to text back a simple _'Ok'_.

Felix picked his basket back up as he entered the cereal aisle, picking up the cheapest box of children's cereal he could find. He gave the box a tentative shake, examining the cover and realizing that he had been eating this since he was a child. It was one of the few meals the orphanage provided that he enjoyed, preferring it over the fresh pancakes Malcolm made him when he slept over with Peter. Perhaps it was time to switch to a less sugary alternative and start eating his age.

Felix flinched as his phone pinged again. He picked it up, flipping it open to examine the message.

_'Miss u :('_

A small chuckle came from Felix, laughter softly dying as he put his phone away. He returned to his cereal dilemma, examining the healthier, cheaper alternatives and still finding the colourful box in his hands far more appealing. He tossed in a box of wheat flakes next to his sugary cereal and made his way to the dairy aisle as he mentally counted his tips from the night before: Just enough for a carton of milk and maybe a snack.

Felix had meant to pick up a pack of roast beef, a "luxury" snack to purchase with the last of his tips. He stopped when he saw a package of pancetta haphazardly stuck on the shelf above the roast beef, most likely stuffed there by a lazy employee.

_Pasta fagioli with pancetta on top._

Apparently Felix's favourite and he wasn't even aware. How Malcolm remembered that was incredible. The man certainly didn't look like the nostalgic type but he correctly guessed what Felix loved to eat and delivered. The child inside him wished that his dinner with Malcolm had gone better, then he could've eaten that entire bowl of pasta. Malcolm may have been a scoundrel but he was a damn good cook.

Felix licked his lips, dropping the roast beef and tossing the sliced pancetta into his basket. He tried to clear his thoughts of the older man as he wandered the supermarket but found his presence in his thoughts infectious. His way with words, his masterful seduction, the matured yet worn charm of a rascal, the fully-realized and refined version of Peter's natural allure.

He wasn't going to deny fantasizing about Peter's father, as dirty as it sounded in his head. Felix reasoned with himself that it was to stave away his feelings for Peter, displacing emotional pain with physical comfort. _He wasn't wrong_. He preferred to fill his thoughts with the man he wouldn't have over the man he _couldn't_ have.

Felix stopped when another ping came from his phone. He reached into it his pocket, flipping the phone open once more before freezing on the spot, his stomach dropping to the floor.

_'All I want is for you to be happy'_

Felix swallowed harshly, trying to disregard it. This must've been sent to the wrong person. As if Peter would ever say something like this to him.

_'If I ever do anything to make you uncomfortable, just tell me. I'll fix it. I promise'_

Felix thumbed at the screen, too confused. He typed in a tentative 'What are you talking about' but never sent the message, another text from Peter distracting him.

_'I love you. Don't ever forget that'_

Those three little words that Felix would've died to hear. All rational thought, every barrier he put up, every thought of Malcolm, expelled from his mind. Felix bit his lip, staring at the messages. His heart was beating out of it's chest, too excited from just three simple text messages coupled with three simple words. Against his better judgment, he deleted his previous response, fingers moving on their own as he typed a frantic, impulsive _'I love you too'_.

Another text came in, cutting him off once more, _'Oops. Sry. Those were for Wendy.'_

_'Ha. I bet that mustve been awkward :)'_

…

A small smile on Felix's face, _'Haha. I knew it'_

Felix waited for a response but nothing came. Peter was probably too busy talking to Wendy. He had no time to respond to him. The smile didn't leave his face as he wandered to the cashier, too busy laughing at himself for being so naïve. Of course he was talking to Wendy, why else would Peter send such random messages?

Even if it was just a mistake, even if it meant nothing at all, Peter's confession still meant more to him than anything else in the world. But worst of all, it really did mean nothing. Dropping his basket, Felix fled into the back aisles and crumpled over, crushed his eyes shut, and clutched his mouth as he fought the urge to _scream_.

Felix whipped out his phone and made to delete the entire conversation thread. He needed to forget this moment. He needed to forget Peter's false confession no matter how badly he wanted to hear it. Before he could erase that moment from his life, his eyes caught the magazine stand in front of him: _Wedding magazines_ were on sale as if to mock him. The sting of irony didn't linger, however, as Felix was inevitably reminded of Malcolm.

Malcolm said he could make that confession a reality.

Felix didn't know how badly he needed something till it was dangled in front of him. Malcolm knew though; Malcolm always knew.

Without a second thought, Felix snatched up as many wedding magazines as he could.

 

"Felix! Such a pleasure to see you," Malcolm greeted as he opened the door, beaming when he saw Felix on his welcome mat, " _Always_ a pleasure to see you," He purred, ushering Felix in and closing the door. He eyed the wedding magazines in Felix's arms but thought nothing of it, circling around the boy and into the kitchen, "Was cooking something to eat. You want anything?"

"No," Felix replied flatly, wandering into the living room and dropping the stack of magazines onto the couch. He wasn't even sure what he picked up; as long as it was covered in pictures of flowers and white shawls, he figured it must've been a wedding magazine.

Felix wasn't going to admit that he was a bit disappointed when Malcolm stayed in the kitchen prioritizing his lunch over entertaining Felix. Every time they met, Malcolm always had his hands all over him so this jarring distance between the two was peculiar.

_Not that I miss having his hands all over me…_

However, when no one came and the sizzle of oil was the only sound in the house, Felix swallowed his pride and made his way into the kitchen, playing as if he were merely curious and not actually yearning for Malcolm's company, "So, what are you-" There was no one at the stove. A solitary pan was sitting atop, sizzling with a block of butter. Felix narrowed his eyes, confused, before looking to Malcolm who sat at the dining table eating a TV dinner and watching Felix was the utmost enjoyment.

"Couldn't resist, hm?" Malcolm hummed with enjoyment, resting his chin on one arm as he took a spoonful of mashed potatoes, "Just can't get enough of me."

Abashed, Felix sputtered a reply before turning back and leaning against the door frame, "I was just curious," Malcolm merely smiled wider at Felix's attempt to cover up the truth, thoroughly entertained by the boy. Snarling, Felix turned away from the man and folded his arms, "And, who wastes a whole block of butter to play a stupid trick?"

"Oh, it was worth every penny to have you come to me," Malcolm replied coyly, "Silly Felix. Did you think I preferred cooking over your company? It was killing me not to rush over there, scoop you up in my arms, and take you right against the stairs."

Felix scoffed, just a bit amused, "Why are you so attached to that staircase?" Felix figured it was the bars. He liked pinning Felix up against the bars.

"Oh? Would you prefer a bedroom?" Malcolm leered, giggling as Felix gave him a death glare.

"If I remember correctly, you're not getting any from me unless Peter confesses," Felix muttered absently, barely taking note of his words. His eyes fell onto the older man when he didn't reply with a snide remark, "What?" Malcolm looked far too amused for his liking.

Malcolm pushed the paper box aside, standing up and approaching Felix with his eyes locked onto the boy, calculating with pure amusement, "Last time I checked. We never agreed to that wager," He took a spot directly in front of Felix, leaning against the opposite doorframe, "I guess it's on then, hm? I get to fuck you in exchange for my son's confession?"

Felix couldn't meet Malcolm's eyes, sin and pleasure reflecting in this lovely orbs that matched Peter's, "That's not what I came for."

Felix's breath hitched as Malcolm closed in on him, planting both hands on the walls on either side of the doorframe, trapping the boy, "Then why are you here with me?" His proximity forced Felix to meet his eyes, "You are either here to take my offer. Or…" His voice trailed off as he pressed both hands against Felix's rib cage and dragged downward, tracing the contours of his body, "You're here for a distraction."

Felix shuddered and blushed under his hands while his face remained stoic, his body betraying him, "I came here to work on the wedding."

Malcolm didn't react to his lie. He merely smiled and backed off with a simple 'oh'. He took his pan off the stove, dumping it and the block of melted butter into the sink before making his way to the living room. He sorted through the magazines in a casual manner, just barely acknowledging them, "Ah, wedding magazines. How thoughtful," He said mockingly, "Except for the fact that you picked up multiple copies of the same magazines plus a handful of fashion magazines," Malcolm gestured to several of them, waving them in the air, "Didn't you know? White sundresses are in this year."

Felix honestly had no idea, merely picking up everything that _seemed_ to be a wedding magazine. He shrugged, "I was in a hurry."

"And certainly it's not because you wanted to see me but needed an excuse to come in, right?"

Felix rolled his eyes knowing that he couldn't deny that dead-on assumption.

Malcolm smirked as he fell down onto the couch, patting the spot next to him and surprised as Felix complied. He fought the urge to touch the boy, retracting his hands and merely watching, "Something bad happened, didn't it? That's why you're here."

Felix shrugged, trying not to remember the false hope when he received the text messages.

Malcolm could read it off him, could tell something made him upset. His hand darted out, caressing Felix's chin before turning the boy to face him, "You're here for a distraction, right?" Felix smirked, eyes dark with lust and aggravation. Frustration at himself, at Wendy, at _Peter._ Malcolm read it all and licked his lips like Felix was the most delectable meal he'd ever seen, "You made a good choice then."

Lunging forward and surprised when Felix caught him, Malcolm crushed their lips together and pinned the boy to the couch, rutting against his body and working him pliant with his hands. He planted his hands onto Felix's chest, scraping down the flesh with his fingernails and watching as the boy squirmed and bucked into his touch, hips jerking upwards when his fingers travelled over his hips. Replying in kind, Felix stuffed his hands under Malcolm's shirt and scratched down his back leaving angry red marks hidden under a polo shirt.

Just when Felix had melted into his arms, hips grinding against Malcolm's involuntarily, tongues tangled together and wrestling for control, Malcolm _pulled away_ , caging Felix under his limbs and smirking deviously, "Just a sample," Felix whimpered in disappointment, choking out a sob as Malcolm patted the searing hot front of Felix's jeans, "Of what it'll be like when we fuck."

Felix scoffed, laughter coming out in dry chokes as he turned away. Malcolm loved eye-contact and the power it gave him. With his own eyes averted, Felix slowly felt confidence returning to him, "I just want a distraction. Nothing else."

"You want _comfort_ ," Malcolm corrected, "There's a difference, you see. A distraction displaces boredom. Comfort displaces pain. And you, you're certainly not bored."

"So what?" Felix muttered, realizing there was no benefit in being stubborn, "So I want comfort. What about it?"

A cry escaped from Felix as Malcolm suddenly rolled him onto his stomach, one arm hooked around his waist pulling him onto his knees before unbuttoning his jeans and slipping into his pants. Felix groaned and bucked backwards, trying to throw Malcolm off only for the older man to trap Felix with his other arm and press down on him with all his weight.

"Got no reason. Just wanted to hear you say it," Malcolm said plainly.

Felix growled, pressed face first into the couch. He wanted to shout a death threat and swing his arms back to strike the man but as Malcolm took hold of his half-hard cock, thumb teasing the head _just so_ , Felix lost all bite and melted into the couch once more, "That's the spot," Malcolm giggled, continuing to _tease_ that one spot right at the head of his cock with his thumb till it was slippery with fluid, "Is this where you touch yourself when you think of Peter?"

Felix could barely speak, babbling like an idiot when he attempted to. His mind short-circuited as Malcolm continued to torture him, spreading pre-come all over his erection, rubbing at the slit with such amusement and vigor like he was playing with a toy, " _Malcolm_ ," Felix moaned, heady and wanton as he arched his back and shut his eyes.

Malcolm groaned in response, loving the sound of his name in that voice. He needed to hear more in that voice, burn all those words in his memory so he could replay them over and over again. His hand worked in quick strokes never lingering on a single patch of skin for even a second. He nipped at Felix's neck, breathing down on his cheek, "Remember when you were little, you used to call me 'papa'?" Malcolm chuckled into his hair, pressing forward and pushing Felix deeper into the couch.

Felix growled again, reaching one hand down to halt Malcolm's raunchy massage so he could speak, "Don't bring up something like this…" He choked out before Malcolm shook off his hand and continued pleasuring him.

"Why not? When you were little, you used to call me Papa when you were fighting with Peter for my attention." Malcolm whispered into his hair.

Shaking under his touch, Felix fought the urge to squirm away as Malcolm brought back childhood memories at the worst time possible, tainting them with the sinful context, "I don't remember that," He choked out, stumbling over words as he spoke.

A dismissive hum came from Malcolm, accepting Felix's denial for now. He'd get the boy to confess to the memory eventually. For now, he was already pleased with the situation. His hand flexed harshly, nearly hurting Felix, "I want to hear you say it. Call me _papa_ ," Felix let out a hoarse moan, shaking his head. Malcolm wanted to humiliate him and Felix wasn't going to play along, "Call me Papa just like you used to."

"Hell no," Felix grumbled out, crying out again when Malcolm thumbed at his foreskin, fingers torturing the slit with constant, insistent rubbing, " _Malcolm_ , faster-" He cut himself off with another moan, his head feeling airy as he neared his climax.

Malcolm chuckled darkly into his hair, "Tell Papa what you want."

Felix bit down on his tongue, growling into the seat cushion as he pushed back against Malcolm's hips, feeling the heat through two layers of pants. He twisted his head around and glared at Malcolm, saying without words that he was _not_ going to play along with his game. The older man didn't seem disappointed, merely nodding his head before _squeezing him_. Felix screamed, skin sensitive and hot in such a tender area.

" _Papa_ ," Malcolm teased in a high pitch voice.

" _Shut the hell up_."

To Felix's response, Malcolm merely giggled before nuzzling Felix's cheek, "Fine. Fine," His voice lowered, husky and heavy as he purred, " _Then call me Peter_ ," He loved it when Felix stiffened in his grip, loved it when he stopped fighting back, "Pretend I'm Peter. Peter's body against yours. _Peter's hand on your cock_ ," Malcolm's words sparked fantasies in Felix's mind, images flickering through his head uncontrollably, " _Say it, Felix._ "

Groaning shamefully, Felix shook his head at the command. Malcolm didn't let up, however, continuing to whisper the most vile of fantasies into Felix's head while his hand kept a savage pace as it jerked him off, "It'd feel the same. Handjob, blowjob, flat out _fucking_. There'd be no difference between me and Peter," His brow quirked, "For the record, I'm better but that's not the point. The point is, if you close your eyes and scream his name, you'd be able to fool yourself."

Bit by bit, using Felix's imminent climax as a catalyst, Malcolm ate away at his resolve with his poisonous words. Felix wanted to curl up and hide from this man, realizing the _ugliness_ in his heart from the man's desire to humiliate him. If he couldn't use his childhood, _he'd use Peter_. Felix had to get away, had to cut off all ties before his words intoxicated him.

" _I won't do it,_ "

The hand gliding over his cock, slicked with pre-come and sweat. From his angle, it could've been anyone's hand. Felix's eyes slid shut involuntarily and already he was imagining Peter pressed up behind him, smearing kisses all along his body. That fiery heat against his back no longer felt suffocating or heavy, Peter's presence making it light.

Those skillful hands searched his torso expertly, finding all his hotspots with expert precision and applying just enough pressure to please him before it began to bruise. Who else would know him so well besides his childhood friend, the one he yearned for so long?

Malcolm smirked as Felix was just a touch away from his orgasm. He closed in, giving Felix one more nudge in his direction, "Who do you want me to be, love?"

A gasp, an attempt to resist choked in his throat, " _Peter_!" Felix moaned, thrusting into Malcolm's hands when the older man let go, letting Felix do the work as he rutted himself to climax, splattering come all over Malcolm's hands as his whole body tensed and shook, convulsing with the angriest orgasm he'd ever had.

"That's a good boy," Malcolm cooed, brushing Felix's golden locks behind his hair with a gentle caress to his cheek. He lowered Felix onto the couch, curling him up against one side and rolling his legs to the ground making a place for him to sit beside him. He clicked his tongue at the stickiness coating his hands before carelessly wiping the mess away on Felix's shirt, dirtying him even more.

Felix shuddered at the touch, groaning as he looked down at the milky stain on his shirt. Malcolm hadn't even bothered tucking him away, leaving Felix's jeans and shorts bunched up around his thighs while his flaccid cock lay bare against the cheap upholstery of the couch. There was no afterglow from his orgasm, just a stinging, wretched feeling that sat at the pit of his stomach that Felix likened to nausea. His eyes could not leave the scoundrel sitting right beside his hips, kneading absently at the half-hard bulge in his own pants, eyes sparkling with amusement.

Shutting his eyes, Felix rolled onto his side and covered his eyes with the back of his forearm, " _Peter_ …" He whispered without meaning. A startled whine slipped from Felix's lips as he felt Malcolm's hand at his crotch, _toying_ with his limp cock absently. What shocked Felix more was that he _didn't do a single thing_ , no threats, no retaliation, he merely lay there as Malcolm prodded away at him. What would Peter say if he saw him like this? _He'd be disgusted_.

Humiliating _himself_ for misinterpreting Peter's text messages, accepting comfort from Malcolm, not only Peter's father but a scoundrel whose behaviour towards him had neared rape, and crying for Peter as Malcolm pleasured him. He had no more dignity left to lose. And if Felix thought about it harder, he'd realise that he had _nothing left to lose at all._

Felix swallowed harshly, opening his eyes and batting away the hand weaving through the fine rabbit trail on his abdomen, "Let's do it."

"Ooh," Malcolm hummed, sitting up straight, "Already? Don't you want to wait at least twenty minutes first?"

Felix rolled his eyes with a growl, sitting up and tucking himself away. He batted Malcolm's hand off again as the man continued to insistently probe him, "I meant your wager. I accept your wager."

With a disgruntled, exaggerated huff, Malcolm slumped against the couch with his arms splayed on the back, "Don't phrase it like that then. You got my hopes up for nothing."

"I'm pretty sure that's not all I got up," Felix mumbled under his breath. He flinched when Malcolm barked with laughter, an arm swinging around his neck and pulling him against the older man's chest.

Malcolm watched him with absolute glee, "Name your terms."

Grumbling as he tried to untangle himself from Malcolm, Felix eventually gave up and lay against the man's shoulder, his hand still firmly clutching him in place, "No one is allowed to know about our wager."

"Goes without saying," Malcolm hummed, nuzzling at Felix's hair with his nose.

"No bribery, no blackmail, if Peter confesses, it must be genuine."

"Oh certainly," Malcolm added, smearing kisses on the top of Felix's head.

Felix grunted in annoyance at the constant contact, shoving lightly at Malcolm's face, "And when we have sex, it's normal sex, no toys, no cameras, we do it on a bed, and we don't talk about it after."

The chilling amusement in Malcolm's expression plus the sudden change of his touch from interested to _possessive_ signalled to Felix that he made a major slip up with his words. He combed through them quickly, trying to figure out what he said wrong and correct himself before Malcolm took full advantage.

Malcolm gave him no reprieve, closing in and licking his lips as he spoke, " _When_ we have sex?" He gave Felix no time to react as he lunged forward, trapping the boy in his arms and uncharacteristically _nuzzling him_ into submission, "My lovely, darling, _adorable_ Felix, I promise you WHEN we fuck, it'll be the most mind-blowing experience you'll ever have," Contrasting the sweetness of before, Malcolm trapped Felix in a headlock as he spoke in a mock-poetic tone, "I'm thinking I splurge for a nice hotel. Perhaps the finest alcohol I can afford."

"So dollar store beer then?"

Malcolm promptly replied by slapping a hand over Felix's mouth, muffling the boy's words, "I'll cover the bed in rose petals, maybe some romantic music," He continued as if Felix said nothing, "Oh, and I'm definitely showing you _all_ the positions."

A smirk lit up Malcolm's face as a vibrant red spread on Felix's cheeks. It was a reaction and charm that only a virgin could have and it was an absolute treat that Malcolm was the one to see them. He released his hold on Felix, backing up as he watched the boy wipe his mouth in an exaggerated manner, "But, very well. I agree with your terms"

"And you? What are your terms?" Felix choked out, trying to hide the evident blush on his face as he swiped at his mouth.

Malcolm shrugged back, "I know you'd do _anything_ to hear Peter's confession," Felix choked at the accusation, hanging his head slightly, "So no explicit terms for me," He extended a hand to Felix, all smiles and innocence despite the dirty deal, "Shall we shake on it?"

Against his better judgement, mind muddled with dull pleasure and desperation, Felix took his hand and agreed to their sinful bet.

 

"Roses, roses are traditional," Wendy remarked, hand sweeping over the delicate blossoms in the flower store, "But lilies are nice too. And they come in such beautiful colours. What do you think?"

Wendy huffed when she noticed Peter's eyes glued to his phone, thumb tapping at the screen clearly playing some sort of game. Felix immediately gave Peter a quick nudge, prompting him of Wendy's question, "Stop poking me," Peter grumbled at Felix before notice his friend pointing back at his fiancée, "Oh. Sorry. Had an email to answer," Wendy was still clearly un-amused, "I like both?" He cautioned forward.

Sighing, Wendy turned back to the storekeeper, prattling on about flowers, meanings, and which would be the best for a wedding.

"I am so glad you're here," Peter muttered when Wendy had gone to the back to see the fresher flowers, "I don't get why she's making such a big deal about this. She's just going to go with roses in the end."

Felix shrugged lazily, "Roses are nice."

"You'd go with roses for your wedding?" Peter asked, nudging his arm, "Are you seriously agreeing with Wendy here?"

Shaking his head, Felix quickly scanned the shelf for a good flower. Roses were traditional, classic, _boring_ , and Felix knew Peter Pan hated boredom. He'd want something lighthearted, simple but unique. Biting his lip, Felix reached into the back shelf and plucked out a bell-like flower with a creamy lavender hue.

"I like bluebells," Felix commented.

Peter snorted with laughter, crossing his arms with a smug look, "That's a pretty frou-frou flower for you, don't you think?" He barked with laughter, loud enough for Wendy in the back storage to hear, "Honestly, that's the _last_ flower I would've expected you to pick."

Flashing Peter a toothy grin, Felix quickly tucked the delicate flower behind Peter's ear, letting the bell hang just at the shell of his ear. He bit down on his lip to resist the laughter bubbling up from his stomach at Peter's unhappy expression.

"Don't give me that look," Peter snapped as Felix let a few chuckles slip through. Taking a handful of bluebells, he buried his hands into Felix's hair and stuffed them all over his golden curls, scrubbing at his hair till the flowers were knitted in, "You're _so_ pretty, Felix. You should put flowers in your hair all the time."

Grinning wildly, both boys immediately snatched up a bunch of flowers and began tossing them at each other as if this were a cafeteria food fight.

"Stop that, both of you!" Wendy shouted as she ran out from the back storage, panicking as the two wrecked the flower shop, "I have to pay for that, _you know_."

Peter sputtered like a child as he pointed an accusing finger at Felix, "He started it!" His accusation was unheard as Wendy promptly grabbed him by the ear and twisted, "Ow. Why doesn't Felix get punished?"

"Like a well-behaved boy like Felix would do something like this," Wendy promptly replied. Felix couldn't resist smiling at her comment, both of them sharing a knowing smile as they teased Peter, "Right Felix?"

A small laugh, "Of course," Felix replied.

Peter growled, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes despite Wendy still having a firm grip on his ear, "Felix, I order you to stop siding with Wendy. And as an aside, I order you to keep those flowers in your hair for the rest of the day."

Rolling his eyes and laughing as Wendy scolded him, Felix backed out of the flower shop when he heard a ping from his phone. He slowly picked the flowers out from his hair, discarding them onto the ground as he flipped his phone open.

' _How about some breakfast, love?'_

 _Malcolm…_ Just because he had agreed to the wager, it didn't mean they were suddenly best friends. Felix clicked his tongue as he almost angrily texted back, ' _Not interested. Picking flowers with Peter.'_

For a while, Malcolm hadn't responded and Felix thought the older man had given up. He made his way back into the flower shop, Peter was just about to acknowledge him till another ping came from his phone. Felix looked down at the screen absently, ready to ignore whatever perverted remark the scoundrel was about to make only for his heart to drop right through his stomach.

On screen was a picture of him, beater rolled up, skin glistening with sweat grinding against Malcolm in a blurry, crooked photo that looked like the man had taken himself. One arm was coiled around him, the night club's strobe lights reflecting off the watch on his wrist.

"Felix? Something happen?"

Recoiling and tucking his phone fast away, Felix backed out of the flower shop, "Something's come up a-at the Rabbit Hole," Felix stuttered out, blinking nervously, "I have to go."

With the speed he left and the panic on his face, Peter wasn't sure if he should follow after him. Wendy held him back, telling him not to get involved if Felix didn't explicitly ask him to. Grudgingly agreeing, Peter backed off and returned to the flower store.

Collapsing against a wall when the flower shop was out of sight, Felix frantically texted Malcolm back, ' _When the hell did you take a picture of me like that?'_

' _At the nightclub. Thought that was obvious'_

Felix rolled his eyes. It must've been the impromptu drinking contest they had after their romp in the bathroom.

' _I set this as my wallpaper ;)_ '

Groaning, Felix replied, ' _Where do you want to eat?_ '

There was a delay in the response. No doubt the man must've been giggling away at his victory, ' _Meet me at 2nd street. I'll pick you up_ '

Reluctantly, Felix left the flower shop proximity and made his way to 2nd Street, spying a rustic storm green car parked at the corner. Sighing heavily, he opened the door and slid into the passenger seat, ignoring the arrogant look on Malcolm's face, "Shut up and drive."

"Feisty in the morning," Malcolm remarked, giggling as he released the hand brake and pulled away from the curb, "You know how far I live. You know how much of a hassle it is to get here in the morning."

Felix rolled his eyes, focused outside the window and certainly not on the driver, "You came all the way here _just_ to bring me to breakfast?"

"I came all the way here to save you from hours of picking flowers. You know she's just going to go with roses at the end of the day," Malcolm commented with a chuckle, pulling up outside of Granny's diner.

At Malcolm's response and it's perfect match to Peter's, Felix shook his head in disappointment. He stepped out of the car, nearly running into the diner in an attempt to make distance between him and Malcolm. Unfortunately, the man was at his side in a second, attempting to coil an arm around his waist only for Felix to pull away and head towards a booth. As Felix sat, he fully assumed Malcolm to sit in front of him like any _normal person_. Instead, the scoundrel pulled up beside him, sliding in the same seat and compressing him between his body and the wall.

Felix groaned at the stuffy contact, "Really?" He growled, agitated whenever he tried to pull his leg back only for Malcolm to press forward with his own.

"What? I don't see a law saying that two people can't share one seat in a diner booth," Malcolm said, punctuating his remark with a shrill giggle before throwing an arm behind Felix, "Besides, you want Peter to confess to you, right?"

Felix stiffened at his words, jerking away only to meet the wall. He wondered if that was Malcolm's intention to keep him in place.

"All you have to do is _make him jealous_ ," Malcolm whispered into Felix's ear, hands gliding over his hair and brushing it back, "When he realizes that he's about to lose you, he'll toss away everything and coming running at you."

Felix scoffed, distracting himself with the tissue dispenser on the table, "How would you know?"

"I'm his father. Of course I know," Malcolm replied as if that were the most obvious answer in the world.

"You weren't in his life for most of it," Felix replied, knowing exactly when Peter ditched his father and began camping around with his friends, "How would you know if this will work?"

An almost cruel snicker slipped from Malcolm's lips. He slid a hand under Felix's chin, lifting it slowly as he closed in, "It worked before."

Malcolm broke away for just a moment when their waitress approached, dropping off a glass of water for Felix and a mug of black coffee for Malcolm, "The usual, right?" The waitress said.

Malcolm smiled back at her, eyes twinkling and smile innocent, "Thank you, Ruby," Without effort, Malcolm could go from coarse and obscene to charming in seconds. As soon as Ruby left, Malcolm's complete attention returned to Felix, his eyes once again devouring him with just a look, "Where were we?"

" _Malcolm_ ," Granny greeted coldly.

Malcolm released Felix once more, sliding away from the boy to greet the elderly woman with a bright smile, "Ah, how long has it been? You look younger every day!"

The older woman smacked her lips, not buying any of Malcolm's tricks. Felix peered over to Ruby who was serving another customer, no doubt she told Granny of their patron and the elderly woman quickly made her way over.

"You're crushing the boy against the wall. Why don't you sit across from him before you make a nuisance of yourself?" Granny was relentless with her command. Her disdain for Malcolm evident in her voice.

Wrinkling his nose with a mock smile, Malcolm scooted out from his seat and slid across from Felix. With a relieved sigh, a breath of air that Felix wasn't even aware of holding, he gave Granny a thankful nod. Nodding back, she took a pad of paper from her apron as she spoke, "What will you be having today?"

"Just a simple breakfast. Eggs over-easy, sausage, white toast," Malcolm listed, turning to Felix, "He'll have the same," Slightly annoyed that Malcolm ordered for him but still manageable, Felix shrugged in response and reclined in his seat.

Granny scribbled the orders down, "Very well. And if I see you sliding over there again, I'll be personally kicking you out of the restaurant," She gave Malcolm a death glare before disappearing into the kitchen.

Pouting and sprawled over his seat lazily, Malcolm grumbled to himself before taking a sip of coffee. Felix had never seen Malcolm so frazzled. The scoundrel always looked like he was in control; the hungry looks directed at Felix asserting his dominance. To see him pouty and grumbling was almost _cute_.

"So," Felix started, breaking the tension between them after Granny placed their breakfast down, shooting Malcolm one last glare before backing away, "Why'd you call me out?"

Malcolm pondered for a moment as he spread the butter over his toast, lips turning up as it came to him, "Right! I remember now," He put the toast aside, dusting off his hands before reaching into his tweed jacket and withdrawing a worn-looking photo from his pocket, "Was cleaning up my closet this morning. Stumbled upon this."

Malcolm slid the photo across the table, all smiles and reassurance as Felix picked it up. It was a photo of him and Peter when they were children sitting around a sand castle with paper crowns on their heads. Before Felix was even aware, he was _smiling_ ; pleasant memories drifting around in his head.

At his reaction, Malcolm leaned forward on the table, resting his chin in his fist as Felix stared at the photo blissfully, "Pleasant memories, no doubt."

Felix let out a small sigh, trying to mask the laughter in his chest, "This was… This was when we went to the beach," Felix said, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

"I've never seen you smile like that before," Malcolm commented, absently stirring up his eggs on the plate as he examined Felix, "It's a good look for you."

Scoffing while attempting to return his default expression of detached coldness, Felix took a gulp of water before stuffing his face with a forkful of eggs and sausage. Malcolm turned the photo around, examining it with a thoughtful hum before looking back at Felix, lust once again reflected in his eyes, "I would've never guessed that adorable little brat would grow up into… _wow_ ," He let out a small groan as he examined Felix, eyes travelling from his face to his chest before travelling back up, "Now I feel like a dirty old man."

"You _are_ a dirty old man," Felix promptly replied, chuckling mockingly as he finished his eggs.

"The first time Peter brought you over, I thought you were a puppy or something," Malcolm remarked, talking while he stuffed his face with toast, "You were so small. I remember I could fit you right on my lap. Look at you now, you're even taller than me."

Nonchalantly, Felix shrugged back as he took a sip of water.

"Seeing you all grown up, brings back memories," Malcolm commented, fingers gliding over the worn photo absently while his eyes remained locked on Felix's form.

The way Malcolm _stared_ at him without restraint or discretion caused a flush of heat to spread over his cheeks in an almost _unpleasant_ way. Felix had seen those eyes before but never directed at him when sober: Voracious, lustful. It was merely a handjob in a public bathroom and dirty dancing in a club. Felix couldn't comprehend why Malcolm was suddenly so interested in him.

"C-can you stop staring at me?" Felix grumbled.

"You're cute when you stutter, did you know that?" Malcolm hummed in a sing-song voice, resting his chin on his right hand as he intensified his stare, burrowing into him with dark, enticing eyes.

Felix knew if he backed down or looked away, Malcolm would claim this as a victory and use it to take their poisonous relationship another step further. Instead, Felix _smirked_ and waved to the bar, eyes not leaving Malcolm as Granny came over effectively shutting down Malcolm's lustful looks lest he get scolded.

"What's the matter kid? He giving you trouble?" She said, propping one arm on her hip as she stared down at the scoundrel, "Want me to get my crossbow?"

"No. I'd just like some apple juice," Felix replied.

Malcolm flashed the older woman a smile before turning back to his coffee, eyes once against on Felix but filled with the slightest irritation from the foul play. Felix didn't look at him, thanking Granny with a quick nod before sipping his apple juice gingerly. Pulling back from his game, Malcolm reclined in his seat with coffee in hand, his posture utterly casual with a neutral look on his face, "So, why did Peter seek me out?" Felix's attention was immediately obtained by mentioning Peter. Pretending not to notice, Malcolm took a sip of coffee before setting his mug aside, "We had a pretty… brutal falling out. I'm sort of surprised that I'm seeing both of you again."

"Wendy wanted your blessing for the two of them," Felix answered, furrowing his brow when Malcolm let out a hoarse laugh, "What?"

Malcolm giggled away as he listened to Felix, ignoring the damning glares Granny shot at him from behind the bar as his laughter echoed in the small diner, "Oh, you're serious," Cutting off his laughter, although Felix could tell he was still in a high mood, he pushed his meal aside so he could rest his elbows on the surface, "I'll just tell you straight up: I will _never_ give Peter my blessing."

Felix scoffed at the remark, fighting the urge to flat out roll his eyes, "He's your son," The scoundrel shrugged in reply. It was a luxury Felix never had and he couldn't believe how Malcolm had squandered it for Peter, "What did he do to you to make you hate him so much?"

The expression on Malcolm's face was undecipherable. He looked amused, dangling some unknown truth over Felix's head and entertained by Felix's inability to see it. However, deeper down, Felix saw _anger_ , bubbling, frothing, acidic rage churning inside of him which only seemed to intensify with every second that passed.

The moment passed as quickly as it came and Malcolm's expression returned to a soft but mischievous smile, "Let's just say even if my relationship with Peter was good, I _still_ wouldn't give him my blessing. I know my son and I _know_ he doesn't love Wendy Darling. He's just in it for the power and I'm not giving any blessing for that," The look on Felix's face spoke for him, "Still don't believe me?"

"It's not like you've given me any proof," Felix replied, gaze drifting across the table, unsure. More than anything, he wanted Malcolm's words to be true but he felt as if he'd be insulting Peter for believing his father.

"Oh, there's plenty of proof," Malcolm replied, leaning forward, "But you always shut them out when you see them together. Next time you see them, pay attention and see who Peter _really_ reacts to," He took the photo from the table, examining it with a lazy smile before slipping it into Felix's hoodie pocket, "Ask him about the beach when he promised that you'd both be kings. I'm sure he'll have something interesting to say about that."

Felix let out a surprised huff, "I can't believe you remember that."

"Of course I remember that. I was teaching you how to swim. Then we both got ice cream and Peter was throwing a tantrum since we didn't get him any."

"This seems to be a trend. You and I do something and Peter throws a tantrum," Felix replied, "Now that I think about it, Peter threw a lot of tantrums."

Whatever it was Felix said, Malcolm sunk forward into a predatory stance, eyes once again locked onto him, "Our family issues started _way back_. It was only in middle school when it finally came to a head."

"What happened between you two?" Felix asked cautiously.

A smile played on Malcolm's lips. He opened his mouth but it was clear he wasn't going to say. Whether to bait Felix forward or because he truly had no story to tell, Felix couldn't be completely sure. However, before Felix could inquire, two visitors at the diner quickly cut their conversation short.

"Morning, Felix," John said as he rushed over to their booth, "And I guess you must be Mr. Pan?"

Felix watched amusedly over John's shoulder as Michael rolled his eyes and padded forward, completely ditched by his brother, "This is Malcolm. He'll be dealing with all the technical parts of the wedding."

"Pleasure to meet you," Malcolm greeted, smiling in an uncharacteristically friendly manner as he extend an arm and shook John's hand, "So, what brings you to Granny's? Did Felix call you?"

"No, just here to pick up some breakfast," John replied, trying to keep his eyes _off_ Felix knowing that he'd start babbling like an idiot.

"Good looks run in the family," Malcolm commented, giving John a toast with his mug, "Wish I looked that good when I was young."

If it were just Malcolm, John would've gladly chuckled that remark off with a humble dismissal. However, the instant Felix laughed at the observation, all of John's thoughts immediately turned to mush and he was rendered mute.

"He's pretty handsome," Felix commented, loving how the gears in John's head were turning erratically. He could practically hear the frantic ' _Compliment him back! Compliment him back!_ ' echoing in his head.

Completely ignoring Michael as he approached, John quickly stuttered out a response, "You look good too. I… I mean, you're looking good- better, Felix. Since I last saw you," Last he saw him was the night after Felix's excursion with Malcolm after Peter's debilitating words on his birthday, "Not that you looked bad that day. You always look good. Like, handsome good. Just not…um."

"Alright Casanova," Michael interrupted, stepping between Felix and John, "You made your point."

Felix couldn't decide if he should laugh or face-palm at John's bashfulness. The eldest Darling brother was always seen as this stoic, knowledgeable beacon of charisma, chosen to inherit his family's fortune in the future. To Felix, he would always just be a giant, hipster teddy bear.

"Why don't you join us for breakfast?" Felix suggested.

"Sure! Why not? We're just waiting for take-out anyway," Michael shouted before his brother could protest, shoving John aside as he scooted into the booth _right beside Malcolm_ , "There we go. John?" He gestured to the spot beside Felix, smiling toothily at John's clear irritation, "Come on. Felix doesn't bite."

Felix flashed John a smile to reaffirm Michael's comment. Taking a deep breath as he wiped off his glasses with the end of his scarf, John slid into the booth next to Felix.

"So!" Michael shouted, tapping at the table with both hands enthusiastically, "Wendy said you and John will be working on the wedding. Bet you'll be spending a lot of quality time together, right?" Not even a flinch came from Michael as John _glared_ at him across the table, "Was that your idea or my brother's?"

Felix's shoulders shook with barely suppressed laughter, really loving how easy it was to fluster the older Darling brother. He looked to John, giving him a pat on the shoulder to shake him out of his death glare, "Malcolm came up with it. Thought it'd be a nice way to… redeem himself. Wendy volunteered John to help."

"Ah, Wendy," Michael commented, understanding her choice too well, "I thought so. John, you should thank her!"

Another laugh came from Felix at John's beet red face. Unable to resist, Felix blamed Peter's influence on him, he pressed a hand to John's forehead, gliding a palm over every reddish patch of skin, "I just feel so bad whenever you get this red," Felix muttered, John's lips twisting up in a humble smile. He froze when John's hand lifted from the table, moving as if to caress his face only to reach past his ear and into his hair, plucking out a small, lavender blossom that was left behind from the flower shop.

"You look good with flowers," John remarked, placing the flower on the edge of Felix's plate.

The elder Darling brother was a hopeless romantic without the slightest bit of tact when it came to casual flirting. Felix's eyes flickered over to Michael, the younger brother shrugging in reply, before turning back to John. His crush was obvious, endearing, _genuine_ like nothing he'd ever known. Felix couldn't reciprocate, not when his heart belonged completely to Peter but it certainly didn't mean he couldn't play.

He brought a hand to John's chin, just barely holding him in place before leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to a flushed cheek. John gasped, sitting up straight and too afraid to move lest he ruin the moment. Michael clapped loudly, knowing that his brother would be thoroughly pleased for the rest of the day. Felix chuckled into the kiss; it reminded him of how Peter as a child used to kiss him on the cheek in front of everyone just to embarrass him.

A loud _slam_ on the table shattered the memory, startling all of them.

Felix backed away, heart pounding out of surprise. He figured John's heart must've been pounding too but for an entirely different reason, "Jeez, what was that for?" Michael shouted to the man beside him.

"Sorry, dropped my mug," Malcolm replied, punctuating his statement with a giggle.

Michael paid no mind to it, oblivious to Malcolm as he stared at John and Felix from across the table with a contemplative hum, "You two look cute together," He observed.

Turning red all over again, John waved his hands in the air frantically, trying to ward off the knowing smirks, "N-no way, I couldn't possibly-"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Felix said, brows furrowed and lips pursed in faux anger, "Are you saying I'm not good enough for you?"

"No!" John stuttered out, glasses fogging up all over again, "I didn't mean it like that!"

Michael folded over in laughter, clutching at his stomach, "My god, John, how do you take care of the family business when you're so easily flustered?"

Taking in a deep breath, eyes drifting over to Felix once more before turning back to Michael with a pleasant smile, "Taking care of the family business is much easier than this."

"Here you are boys! Two deluxe breakfasts. Packed an extra fruit salad just for you," Granny declared as she approached the table with paper bags, "Looks like you're all having a lot of fun here boys… and Malcolm."

Malcolm snorted at the flat declaration of his name, toasting her with his mug of coffee, "You two should get going. Wouldn't want to waste any more of your time."

"Yeah. He's right. I got a meeting at twelve," Michael replied, taking the bags in hand and standing up, "I think we've shattered John's self-esteem enough," He let out a small yelp when John whacked him over the head playfully, "Have fun planning the wedding. And don't hesitate to call John, he'll always make time for you," A second yelp as John whacked him again.

The Darling brothers were just about to leave till Felix spoke up, "No…" He murmured, almost surprised by himself, "Stay a bit longer."

Michael looked like he wanted to protest but at the sight of his brother's softening expression, he immediately relented and sat back down. He gestured to his brother, prompting the older Darling to sit back down beside Felix, "Sure," John said, "Anything you want."

Felix wasn't sure why he called him back. He thought he had gotten over the loneliness but clearly his actions spoke otherwise. He didn't even have anything to talk about, no pointless banter to fill the silence and justify why he asked John to hang back. John watched Felix and _understood_ , contemplating on what he should say next so Felix wouldn't have to.

"Michael's right," John started, turned to Felix and almost pained to see the lost look on his face, "If you ever need my advice for the wedding, give me a call and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"You have such a demanding job. Why don't you just leave it to me?"

John and Felix both turned to Malcolm. John narrowed his eyes, peering at Malcolm through his glasses with intuitive disdain. Something about the scoundrel just felt _wrong_ , "Nonsense. I know what Wendy likes. And I so rarely get the chance to speak with Felix."

"You've got his time now," Malcolm observed, finishing his coffee and sliding his empty mug away. With the jovial way he spoke, it was difficult to tell whether the man was serious or joking, "Enlightening conversation you're both having,"

John clicked his tongue, opting to take his words at face value, "I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me what your problem with me is instead of dancing around it."

" _My problem_ ," Malcolm's voice was low as he spoke. It immediately called Felix and Michael's attention just from the sheer _malice_ dripping from his words, "Is that I don't appreciate you _toying_ with Felix."

John sputtered, outraged, "Toying?"

"I know your type: What else would a pampered, rich brat want with someone like Felix?" Malcolm hissed, "Felix isn't your toy and I won't let you treat him like one."

Lips twisting up in a snarl, John fought the urge to flat out slam his fist on the table. Never in his life had he been so enraged; Michael could vouch for him, clearly unnerved by the rare sight of his brother's fury.

"You know Felix loves my son, don't you?" Malcolm said without a shred of discretion. Felix stared at him gobsmacked. Even if everyone assumed it, he didn't want anyone publicly declaring his feelings, "You want to be a hero? Swooping in to heal his broken heart? Ah, or maybe," The scoundrel leaned in, "Wendy put you up to this. Told you to go after Felix so she could have Peter all to herself."

Both John and Michael were suddenly still, stone-faced at Malcolm's accusation. Felix didn't notice, the heat of his face blurring out all else. John looked to Felix, catching his eyes and shaking his head desperately, denying Malcolm's words.

"She should've asked your younger brother. A grown man who can't even speak to their crush without turning red and babbling like an idiot. It's a bit _pathetic_ , really."

Michael stood, ready to chew the scoundrel out while his brother fought for composure.

"Malcolm," Felix shouted, startling all of them out from the hate-filled haze, " _Stop picking a fight with John!_ " He declared, choosing his side.

For once throughout the one-sided argument, Malcolm looked shocked. He stuttered a bit before falling silent, chewing at his lip as he kept his eyes lowered. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Granny glaring at him while polishing a glass. Any more and she would've stormed over and kicked him out.

"I should go," John muttered quietly, knowing that he'd overstayed his welcome. Perhaps another time when Felix was alone but as long as Malcolm was with him, John knew he wouldn't be back. Michael stood first, taking their take-out meals and returning to the car. John hovered over them for a while like he still had something to say, teetering on the edge of silence and action.

Before Felix could inquire, John suddenly reached forward, lifting Felix's hand off the table and pressing a kiss to the back of his wrist.

The slightest gasp came from Felix. The shock short-circuited his mind and he was unable to react in that brief moment. As a child, him and Peter might've played around with friendly kisses and whatnot but as an adult, this was the first time anyone had ever done something so romantic and _chaste_. It blew his mind almost as much as his climax brought on by Malcolm's hands.

It was John's turn to smile when he noticed Felix completely astounded. He placed his hand back on the table, backing away with a quick nod before rushing out the diner.

Letting out a soft chuckle, Felix examined his hand idly, sipping his glass of juice with the other hand. He knew John wasn't his type, knew the Darling brother would probably be scared off once he learned of Felix's past, so he never responded to his advances outside of teasing to amuse himself. With all that had happened, Felix wondered if he should give the Darling a chance.

"Didn't think you'd be so chummy with the Darlings."

Felix huffed angrily, folding his arms as he glared at Malcolm.

"Given that they're the ones that took Peter from you."

Rolling his eyes, "You have no right telling anyone how I feel about Peter."

"I was defending you!" Malcolm shouted back, offended.

"You were assuming. And I don't need you to defend me," Felix barked back, "What are you so angry for?" How Malcolm had gone from mischievously happy to _malicious_ was frightening.

Even now, the scoundrel continued to glare at him and Felix shortly realized that he wasn't angry at John, he was angry at _him._ Felix's eyes drifted backwards nervously, noticing that Granny had gone to the kitchen leaving him alone with Malcolm. For reasons he couldn't yet understand, Felix felt _ashamed_ , like he had cheated on his lover. It was something awkward and confusing that unpleasantly twisted in his gut.

Felix felt so weak, so light-headed, like the scoundrel's hollow eyes and obstinate glare was having a physical effect on him. Sliding out from the booth, Felix nearly ran towards the back, panicking when he heard Malcolm's footsteps close behind him. As soon as he stepped into the bathroom, he slammed the door shut behind him and locked it.

Backing away, Felix turned towards the sink, planting his hands on either side as he hung his head, taking in deep breaths. He'd faced against the worst of society, taken knife wounds and beatings for Peter's sake without even the slightest lick of fear. For Malcolm to exert so much power over him, Felix just couldn't understand why.

A knock at the door startled him. The rattle of the doorknob made his stomach clench in fear, "Let me in," Malcolm called to him, the doorknob rattling once more. Felix found himself unconsciously thanking Granny for having a sturdy lock, the barrier of wood between him and Malcolm more comforting than he expected.

" _Fuck off_ ," Felix hissed, still shaken by Malcolm's anger.

A pause and then a sigh, "Come on Felix," Malcolm's voice sounded softer, almost childish, "What's wrong?"

 _What's wrong?_ Felix gaped at his ignorance. He couldn't tell if it was real or fabricated, "What was your problem back there?"

Another pause as Malcolm collected his thoughts, "I slipped. I'm sorry. I just don't trust him."

"Don't trust _John Darling_?" Felix choked out, almost laughing before deciding against it. He didn't want to piss Malcolm off further.

Another sigh came from Malcolm. The image of Malcolm slumped in defeat came to Felix's mind, "We can talk about it back at our table. I don't like talking like this."

Malcolm wasn't going to leave. Felix would probably be camped in this bathroom for the entire day. He could wait for Granny to catch him but he figured this would be less painful. His hand rested on the door knob, testing if Malcolm was still holding it. He undid the lock, opening the door slowly to find Malcolm, puppy-eyed and sulking, waiting outside his bathroom.

Felix nodded down the hall, waiting for Malcolm to move. He tried to walk around him but couldn't find enough space to squeeze past, "What are you doing?" A shudder crept down Felix's spine, eyes narrowing as Malcolm's expression slowly hardened. At this very moment, Felix realized he made a mistake.

"No!" Felix cried out, lunging forward too late as Malcolm herded him into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Baring his teeth, Felix snarled, "Get out," He was going to lunge at the man, scare him back or tackle him down if he didn't back off. Malcolm read him right away and _lunged first_ , wrestling him against the wall and crushing their lips together.

"You _tease_ ," Malcolm grumbled, pulling away for just a moment, "I should just bend you over my knee right now," Felix bucked forward suddenly, trying to toss the scoundrel off. In response, Malcolm crushed their lips together once more, punishing Felix with a brutal kiss. When Felix bucked a second time, Malcolm pressed himself harder against him, compressing him against the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Felix barked, swinging his fists forward only to land one glancing strike before having both wrists caught and restrained in the air.

Malcolm's breath was hot against Felix's ear, his tongue lapping at the shell as he spoke, "Thought you were only interested in hearing a confession from Peter. Now you're wrangling John Darling into this?" Teeth sunk gingerly into his earlobe, tugging at the sensitive piece of flesh.

A whimper choked out from Felix when he felt Malcolm's hand on the button of his jeans. He struggled against the arm coiled around him, restraining his limbs and feeling like chains while Malcolm used his body weight to pin the rest of him down, "If it's attention you want, then I'll give you lots and lots," He popped open the button but did nothing else, taunting Felix with what could come next.

"If you were in my care," Malcolm said, almost moaning as he nuzzled Felix's neck, "You'd never be like this," Felix shivered at the sight of Malcolm before him, expecting to see glee or lust but surprised with the distinct _anger_ written all over his face, "Oh, or maybe you're teasing me," Malcolm chuckled, his usually jovial giggle sounding sinister when under his breath, "You always had a penchant for making me _jealous_."

 _Always?_ Felix wanted to speak but found his throat locked in fear.

"You succeeded. I'm jealous now and you better make up for it," Moving too fast for Felix to react, Malcolm shoved him onto the sink next to him and pulled off his shoes, tossing them on the ground and proceeding to remove his pants. Felix grabbed at the man, taking fistfuls of his jacket and wrestling at him ineffectually. Sitting half in the sink with Malcolm situated right between his legs, there was little else Felix could do with his lower torso other than attempt to squeeze the man with his thighs. Felix fought against it though, knowing that the scoundrel would just be encouraged by the action.

Malcolm's lips forced down against his. Malcolm's tongue plunged deep into the cavern of his mouth. He gagged his voice with flesh, muffling all cries for help into desperate, incoherent whines. No matter how many times Felix tried to bite down on the man's intruding tongue, Malcolm would always slip away, moving just out of reach before shoving right back in, violating his mouth as thoroughly as he could.

The scoundrel's hands were everywhere at once, scraping at his skin, shoving clothes away, leaving finger shaped bruises wherever Malcolm could grip into. His kisses were violent, violating his lips and mouth. Even without his hands restrained, Felix's desperate attempts to fight him off were rendered into helpless pawing, weakened by humiliation and pleasure.

Felix found his voice again when Malcolm's hands found the zipper of his jeans, "Get off of me," Felix mumbled out, grabbing at Malcolm's wrists and trying to pry them off.

Malcolm wouldn't relent. He kept jerking at the fabric, fighting against Felix's insistent struggle. His eyes were open as he continued to muffle Felix with kisses, staring at him possessively.

" _Get off_ ," Felix mumbled again, twisting his head away only to have his chin wrenched back for another kiss. Hands scraped up and down his back, groping at him till he became unwillingly pliant, "Get off _please_ ," Felix groaned as he felt a nail travel down his spine. How Malcolm managed to scrape up his body, keep his legs apart, hold his chin still, and wrestle down his pants was unfathomable.

"Don't you like me, Felix?"

_"Don't you like me, Felix?"_

The feeling of déjà vu was unpleasant in a way Felix couldn't understand. He was silenced even after Malcolm backed away, eyes unblinking as he locked onto his face, "I remember you used to have a crush on me when you were just a boy," He removed his hands from Felix's belt when Felix stopped fighting, confusion stunning the boy. Malcolm didn't want to accidentally startle him, relishing Felix's docile silence, "Do you remember? You used to come over when Peter wasn't there and play with me. Didn't you have a lot of fun?" Malcolm whispered, nuzzling the side of his face, "You liked teasing me too. Old habits die hard, right?"

Felix was shaking his head, confused, overwhelmed, "I never teased you," He murmured, unable to focus on the scoundrel against his body, "I'm not teasing you."

A dark look flashed over Malcolm's features for just a second before the scoundrel pressed forward, gripping onto Felix's head as he scrubbed his face with his wild blond hair. Felix wasn't sure what he was doing at first till Malcolm backed away, a small blue flower in his mouth. He took the little blossom out, waving it in front of Felix's face.

"You look good with flowers," Malcolm mocked John, dropping the flower to the ground.

To Felix's surprise, Malcolm backed off. Immediately, the heat of his skin dropped as the cool air of the bathroom washed over his body, soothing the burns left behind by Malcolm's white-hot touch. His hair was an absolute mess, knotted and tangled under Malcolm's hands. His lips were swollen and wet, darkened to the point of bruising. His clothes were disheveled, his sweater rolled up his chest, jeans half off his hips. Felix only then realized that Malcolm hadn't backed away for him, he backed away to get a good look at his work.

Felix flinched when Malcolm took out his phone, too exhausted to cover himself as he snapped a quick photo, licking his lips hungrily, "You're insane," Felix huffed out, making Malcolm _laugh_ , "I never came over to see you alone," He fixed his clothing as he spoke, covering up his flushed skin, "I never had a crush on you."

"I don't like liars."

Teeth bared, Felix shouted, "I'm not lying!" _Was he?_ It made no sense why Felix was doubting himself unless there really was truth to Malcolm's words.

"Felix, love," Malcolm whispered, coming close once more and planting his hands on either side of the sink, trapping Felix between them, "If you keep lying to me, I'm going to call off our wager. Then you'll _never_ hear Peter's confession."

Felix stiffened at the remark. He wasn't lying! He really wasn't lying!

Malcolm planted a finger on Felix's chest, dragging it down to his hips. He casually zipped Felix back up, buttoning the top before returning his hands to Felix's sides, "I never make a wager with a liar."

"I really don’t know what you're talking about," Felix choked out. He didn't want to sound like he was begging but Felix could put no other description for his words.

A chaste, innocent kiss was planted on his nose, startling Felix just as much as the voracious assaults on his mouth. Malcolm backed away once more, eyes glittering with amusement, "Then you _better_ remember," He said, caressing Felix's chin before pulling away and unlocking the bathroom door, stepping out cool and composed.

Felix remained where he was, sinking to the ground and clutching at his body. He could still feel his hands all over him, lips and sides still bruised by his body. Every touch was balanced right at the edge of pain and pleasure, no motion wasted, and it rocked Felix's mind how much calculation Malcolm put in his actions. Worst of all was Malcolm's threat. Even now, Felix couldn't comprehend what he was talking about and wasn't even sure if he wanted to know. If it were any other situation, Felix would've dropped it and moved on.

But this was for _Peter's confession_.

 

_"I win!" Felix declared, hopping up and down on the couch tossing the game controller to the ground._

_Malcolm laughed along, pouting playfully as he put his game controller aside, "How do you keep beating me?"_

_"Peter says its because you're old," Felix replied with a giggle, sitting down beside Malcolm and punctuating his statement with a poke to his nose, "And old people are bad at video games," He squealed as Malcolm suddenly picked him up. He let out a flurry of laughter as Malcolm blew a raspberry on his stomach, covering his giggling face with both hands._

_"My son said that?" Malcolm cooed, blowing another raspberry when Felix nodded his head, "He's a bad influence on you. I think you should stop playing with him."_

_Felix shook his head adamantly, "No way! Peter is my best friend in the whole world!" He crawled backwards on the couch, picking up the game controller and starting a new match, "And if I stop playing with Peter, I won't get to see Papa anymore."_

_Malcolm furrowed his brow, confused for just a moment, "Papa?"_

_Realizing what he had said, Felix blushed with embarrassment and froze. He turned to Malcolm, cheeks too hot and stuttering all his words, "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. It's just Peter always calls you Papa and I-" A hand was ruffling his hair affectionately, silencing him unintentionally._

_"That's okay. If it makes you happy, you can call me Papa," Malcolm said, smiling as he extended his arms out._

_Smiling brightly, Felix leapt at Malcolm, wrapping his tiny arms around his neck and squeezing him in a hug, "I love you, Papa," Felix giggled, nuzzling Malcolm's chin lovingly. Those were words he'd never expect himself to say and it felt too good to finally say them aloud._

_To his pleasure, Malcolm hugged back, arms wrapped around him securely, "I love you too."_

_"Papa! I'm home!" Peter announced as he came in through the front door, struggling to pull the key out from the lock which sat at eye level. He completely abandoned the key when he caught sight of Felix latched onto Malcolm, gasping loudly as he rushed over, "Stop bothering Felix!" Peter shouted, grabbing the back of his friend's shirt and pulling him right from Malcolm's grasp._

_"We were just playing video games," Malcolm reasoned in a drawling voice, sounding more like a child than his son._

_Felix waved his hands in front of Peter frantically, trying to quell him, "D-Don't be mad! I didn't know you had a music lesson so I snuck out early…"_

_Peter ignored him as he bared his teeth to his father, taking Felix's hand and pulling him upstairs to his room. Locking the door behind him, Felix fully expected a scolding from Peter just like the boy always did when Felix cried. Instead, Felix was greeted with a pleasant smile as Peter turned around, eyes wide and sparkling with mischief._

_"Let's play!" Peter declared, pulling Felix over to the toy box in his room._

Felix had been lying in bed for hours, unable to sleep as his mind continued to sort through his memories. As soon as he finished his shift at The Rabbit Hole, he returned home and collapsed on the bed. After hours of digging, Felix finally remembered that _yes,_ he did used to call Malcolm 'Papa', a habit he picked up from Peter.

 _Peter…_ he hadn't seen Peter for the rest of the day. His best friend hadn't called him either, probably too busy planning out his wedding with Wendy. He flipped open his phone, disappointed that Peter hadn't texted him either. Felix didn't want to admit how badly he wanted to hear a love confession from Peter. As long as Malcolm held that over his head, Felix would do anything the older man wanted. He couldn't let Malcolm know, though. Who knew what the scoundrel would do if he knew he held that kind of power?

Shuddering in the sheets, Felix clutched himself tightly, almost curling up on the bed as he tried to forget the feel of the man against his body. It shouldn't have felt _good,_ should've felt wrong but Felix couldn't force himself to make that decision _._ It was uncalled for, a violation of his personal space and respect, by all means he should've beaten that scoundrel in return. It must've been their wager manipulating his perception of the main, the desperation to see Peter as his own overriding his discomfort around Malcolm.

… Yet, why did Malcolm act like there was something more between them? The man was too crafty to be delusional. Felix wasn't 'teasing' Malcolm and he certainly wasn't trying to make the man jealous. Was it so wrong for him to seek new company when he could no longer have Peter? That wasn't considered _whoring himself out,_ was it?In hindsight, Felix didn't know what else he could call that romp in Neverland other than desperation and he wasn't sure if that was any better.

His eyes drifted back to the teddy bear on his clock still sitting there with a neon green post-it hat on it's head. He needed a distraction that wasn't _poisonous_ to his health. He rolled onto his stomach, laying on the bed with his head tucked against his elbows. Maybe he'd ask John out tomorrow, go to dinner, watch a movie, work on Peter's wedding.

' _To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die_ ' Gasping, Felix scrambled over to his phone, answering, "Peter?"

A pause.

"…no, it's Wendy."

It took everything from Felix to not hang up on her on the spot. It seemed like sacrilege for her to use Peter's phone to call him, "Yes?" He choked out through clenched teeth, "Is this about the wedding?"

"It's about John."

Immediately, Felix's jaw slackened, "Oh."

"I'm sorry for calling you so late but I only got to speak with John an hour ago. He's really upset and Michael wouldn't say what happened."

Felix's breath caught in his throat, "I don't know what happened."

"Felix. I'm not an idiot. I know how my brother-" She cut herself off. Just as Malcolm had no right to speak of Felix's feelings, Wendy had no right to speak of her brother's, "Let me help."

Help? This wasn't any of her business and the last thing Felix wanted was for Peter to get indirectly involved, "I don't know. Sorry."

Wendy didn't prod. She gave him a dismissive hum before hanging up. Felix tossed his phone away, accidentally knocking the bear onto the floor. Clicking his tongue, he reached down and picked the bear back up, clutching it to his side instead of returning it back to its position on the clock.


	3. No Secrets

Felix wasn't aware that he had accidentally shut off his alarm clock when he threw his phone onto his bedstead. He'd ended up sleeping through the morning, missing class and when he awoke, Peter had sent him a slew of text messages: The last one ending with a concise 'Im coming over'.

The doorbell rang. Groaning, Felix sat up groggily, answering the door in nothing but a pair of boxers.

"Where were you?" Peter shouted, not even bothering with a greeting, completely ignoring Felix's state of undress.

Felix rubbed at his forehead, "I slept in. I'm sorry."

Stepping back involuntarily to let Peter in, he shut the door after his leader stomped in and promptly sat on the bed, arms folded and unhappy, "I'm not talking about that," Peter replied, "I'm talking about yesterday. You just disappeared from the flower store and I didn't hear from you the entire day. I thought something bad might've happened."

It took a while before Felix remembered what excuse he made, "There was just a… shipment problem at the Rabbit Hole," Peter's gaze was unchanged, unamused. His excuse didn't work the first time; Peter only let him go out of kindness. Felix sighed pathetically, "I was with your father."

" _What!_ " Peter growled, rising to his feet quickly and grabbing Felix by the shoulders, "What the hell were you doing with him?"

"B-Breakfast," Felix choked out, knowing that he was blushing and hoping that the dimness of his room covered it, "He wanted breakfast."

Felix didn't understand why Peter hadn't called him out. His leader stared at him without words, eyes narrowing and concentrating on his face trying to coax more words out from him. After a while of silent stares, Peter's face slackened with _worry_.

"I don't want you to talk with my father ever again," Peter ordered quietly, "Tell him you have plans or something if he ever comes back."

Felix rolled his eyes as he looked away, "Me? Plans?"

"Then stick with me and Wendy. We're studying for the exam next week. We could use someone to quiz us," Peter said, "Then we can grab something to eat. My treat."

_You and Wendy? No thanks, Peter, I'd rather be molested in another bathroom by your father than go anywhere with you two_. Felix nearly bit through his own tongue trying to resist voicing his thoughts, "I need to work on the wedding," He mumbled, keeping his eyes averted. He wasn't even aware of his hands balled into fists at his side.

Peter noticed. He raised a hand, slipping through Felix's long, messy hair and pulling it back so he could look at his face. Felix shut his eyes at the gesture, unable to make eye contact. The last thing he wanted was an argument with Peter; that would be the final straw.

"Let's do something today," Peter said, pulling back.

Felix opened his eyes but kept them averted, "Peter. I don't want to spend time with Wendy," He confessed, trying his best not to sound like a clingy, jealous friend.

"I meant just the two of us," Peter said. Felix's eyes snapped open, "Just like old times, Pan and Felix, sneaking off to have an adventure."

"But, don't you have to study?"

Peter scoffed a laugh, smacking Felix on the shoulder playfully, "Since when do I need to study? Genius comes to me naturally," A smile on Felix's face immediately lit up Peter's face as well. It felt like forever since he'd seen Felix happy, "Come on, go take a shower, get dressed, and we'll go have some fun."

"Yes Peter," Felix said, obedient but playful. He sorted through his laundry, picking up his clothes from yesterday before stepping into the bathroom.

Peter held his smile till Felix disappeared. The moment he heard the shower, Peter's smile fell _fast_. Frowning, glaring, nostrils flared with rage, Peter grabbed Felix's phone, flipping it open and searching through his messages. The only reason Felix even bought a phone was because Peter forced him to so they could stay in contact with text messages. He still remembered going through sleeker models, trying to convince his friend to get the best one only for Felix to settle on the only one he could afford. No matter, as long as they stayed in contact, Peter didn't mind if he was talking to him through a brick phone.

Felix only had two text message threads. One was Peter, of course. The other was an unlisted number. Checking one last time that Felix was in the shower, Peter opened the thread and gaped at the image attached, "What…what…" _When the hell did that happen?_ The look on Felix's face, his body pressed up against his father, mimicking sex in their positions. The timestamp on the photo was nonsensical. It was a day before Wendy forced him to visit his father.

_"Nibs wanted to celebrate privately."_

Peter knew something was wrong when Felix lied to him. He knew Nibs was out of town but didn't call Felix out. It was wrong for him to use Felix's birthday as an excuse to announce his engagement. He had only done it to appease Wendy who he knew suspected him and Felix to be in an affair.

_It…It isn't an affair. Felix is just special to me._

How his father found Felix at the nightclub was unnerving. Peter assumed it had to be sheer luck since the other options were far too unsavory. Clicking his tongue, Peter shut Felix's phone and returned it to the bedstead. His attention immediately turned to the bear. Peter paid no mind to how Felix acquired it but now that he knew his father had been involved right from the start, Peter strangled the bear in his hold as he checked the tag.

A sigh of relief, "John Darling," He might not have liked the uptight prude but he was certainly better than Malcolm.

The shower turned off. Peter returned the bear to the clock where he had placed it before. The hat was lost under the mounds of dirty laundry. Felix really needed to clean his place. Not that Peter minded though, it made the room smell like the lanky boy, like cheap soap and the natural scent of sweet maple on his skin.

The door opened, letting out a puff of steam as Felix stepped out, toweling his hair dry while dressed in loose jeans and a plain grey shirt. His hooded sweater was slung off his left arm while his other hand toweled off his hair. The smile lighting up Felix's face was sweeter than anything else Peter had ever seen. Even as children, Felix's smile had the ability to lift up any sort of sadness. And only Peter ever got to see it.

 

"What's the plan?" Peter asked, reclined in the passenger seat with his feet on the dashboard.

Felix promptly shoved his feet off at the red light, glaring just a bit when Peter returned his feet to the same position, "I don't know."

"There's got to be some place you're dying to go," Peter remarked, "Someplace that's not The Rabbit Hole."

Felix cocked a brow but stayed quiet, a bit embarrassed that Peter knew exactly where he'd suggest. He never went out much on his own and even in high school with all the Lost Boys, it was Peter who called the shots. Making decision was never his strong point so when given the choice, Felix always defaulted to what he knew.

Peter's nimble hands glided over Felix's chest, scratching at his chin like he was a cat, " _Come on_ , where do you want to go?" Felix playfully batted his hand away only for his leader to jerk at his clothes like an eager puppy, "Felix. Felix. Felix!" Felix laughed him off in response, "Hey, what's that?" Peter inquired, reaching forward and pulling out a worn photo from Felix's sweater, "Did you get this from my father?"

Felix was silent once more; the happiness from before gone. He nodded quickly, giving Peter a half-smile.

"I think this beach is still there," Peter said, reclining again and smiling at the photo, "I remember this. _Someday we'll both be kings_."

Felix's silence shattered, laughter overtaking him, "You remember that?"

"Of course I do! We built a huge sand castle. And I made paper crowns for us and everything."

Felix narrowed his eyes, "Wait… I made those crowns," He specifically remembered hunting down clean taco wrappers from the stalls and folding them up while Peter played around in the castle.

Peter remembered it a wholly different way, "Oh, you want to do this again?"

Felix shook his head, laughing and twitching away from Peter's hands as the boy prodded at his side, "I think I know where I want to go now," Peter stopped his prodding and returned to his seat, reclined back and smirking as he agreed without prompt.

One department store later, Felix and Peter found themselves at the beach with an assortment of colourful plastic sand building tools in hand. They didn't care that everyone was staring at then, two nearly grown men playing around in the sand like children. For Felix, all that mattered was that Peter was at his side and happy. For Peter, he never really gave a damn about what anyone thought to begin with.

"Alright, I want four towers. And a bridge connecting two of the towers diagonally," Peter explained as he drew out the floor plan in the sand. Felix kept track of everything in his head, nodding along diligently, "And I want a moat and a coliseum so we can put crabs in there and watch them fight to the death."

So began their construction project, Felix was tasked with hauling in water while Peter started on the towers, building up a wall tall enough for both of them to crouch inside and hide. As they built, Peter prattled on about everything and anything while Felix listened obediently, interrupting occasionally with a snide remark but usually keeping a utterly enchanted smile on his face. Even if all he did was listen, Felix was happier than he'd ever been for these past few weeks.

"Hold on, why are you building the coliseum there?" Peter asked as he returned with a handful of stones.

Felix looked up from where he was digging the pit beside the tallest tower, "So when you look out from your tower, you can see the coliseum fights," His reasoning was sound and always to Peter's benefit.

Nodding with agreement, Peter returned to his tower, dumping the stones teasingly into the coliseum, "We should have a team name," Peter said randomly, putting extra care in the tower he claimed as his own. Felix rolled his eyes as he watched Peter line it with stones. He wasn't decorating it, mind you, he was making it defensible by adding armor, "Peter and Felix. Pan and Felix. Lost boy Leaders. Or maybe a combination of our names."

"Combination?" Felix pondered, building a jagged wall around the coliseum pit.

" _Yeah_ …like Petelix," Peter slapped Felix across the shoulder, getting up on his knees like he had an epiphany.

"Petelix," Felix repeated, " _Petelix._ Seriously?"

Peter folded his arms, narrowing his eyes with irritation, "What? You don't like it?"

"Sounds like… a fertilizer brand."

"…"

Felix meant it with complete sincerity. Peter promptly knocked over the coliseum Felix had been working on with a swipe of his hand. Gaping, Felix immediately shoved Peter's tower into the sand. The two stared at each other briefly, a quiet fury surging over both of them before both boys burst into laughter. Peter tackled Felix down first but the taller boy had the same intention, just slower reflexes.

The two wrestled in the sand playfully, knocking over their castle walls and tossing dirt into the air. If they were children, everyone would've dismissed it as a small, playful scuffle. As young adults, however, bystanders wasn't sure to make of their literally-dirty wrestling. Peter took control of the fight as he always did, wrestling Felix into the sand and twisting up his limbs to keep him in place. With Felix completely restrained, Peter blew raspberries all over his neck.

"I give! I give!" Felix shouted playfully, slapping at the sand when Peter refused to let go. A part of Felix didn't want him to _stop_ , that dark, lusty being inside of him relishing in Peter pressed against his form with his lips against his neck. Before that being could corrupt their innocent fun, Felix shut it out by bucking back, throwing Peter off balance before rolling on top of him.

Peter chuckled, back touching the sand for just a second before he forced Felix onto the dirt with another struggle, ending with Peter splayed on top of his tall friend, "I win," He hummed, staring down at Felix waiting for an acceptance of defeat.

Sighing, almost feeling too happy to finally have Peter all to himself, Felix nodded back. He was surprised as Peter collapsed on top of him, snuggling at his chest and pretending to sleep. Felix couldn't stop himself from breathing in Peter's scent, his hair smothering his face from where he was situated. It took everything for him _not_ to wrap Peter up in his arms and hug him with all his strength.

Instead, Felix lay still waiting for Peter to get up. His leader sat up on his knees, still straddling Felix but no longer lying against his chest, "I'll grab us some tacos. You want spicy, right?"

"Yes, Peter," Felix replied, absent smile on his face.

"Make something for us to eat in while I'm gone, alright?" Peter asked, patting Felix's on the cheek affectionately before standing up and walking towards the stalls.

Always obeying, Felix sat up and began constructing walls from their destroyed castle. A simple knee high wall should suffice as long as there was enough space for both of them to sit comfortably. Felix knew whatever he did, Peter would find something to complain about and promptly trigger another wrestling match. Felix swept at the dirt at this shirt nonchalantly, reminding himself to dust both of them off before getting into their car.

"Back already?" Felix asked as he heard someone shuffle into the sand walls.

The moment he turned around, a pair of lips crashed into his, a beard scratching at his chin and stormy eyes piercing into his. Felix threw himself backwards, horrified as he scrambled in the sand, "W-What…"

Malcolm smirked to him, grabbing Felix's ankle as the boy scrambled backwards and dragging him back, "Fancy meeting you here."

"Are you stalking me?" Felix growled, shoving at Malcolm's chest when the older man closed in.

" _Yes_ ," No shame in his tone, just sheer amusement.

Felix shuddered, backing away to make space between them, "I don't want to see you anymore."

"Why?" Malcolm asked, "Did Peter tell you that? You really should stop listening to what he says. He's a bad influence," He sighed when Felix maintained his steely look. He lowered his posture, trying to show that he meant no harm, "I came to apologize."

Felix scoffed, "As if."

"I lost control yesterday," Malcolm said, brows knitted together, "I scared you."

_Yes, yes you did._ Not that Felix would admit it, "Why were you so hysterical yesterday?"

Malcolm was not his lover. He'd only met a few days back and the older man was already doting on him obsessively. Malcolm implied that it was something in the past but Felix hadn't seen him in years and he had little to no memories of the older man to begin with. Something vital was _missing_.

Felix thought he'd be safe in his thoughts but the scruffy man with the ethereal eyes read everything going through his mind. He reached a hand up, stroking Felix's face gently as his lips slowly stretched into a smile, "So you really don't remember."

"Remember what?" Felix growled, "Why are you _obsessed_ with me?"

Malcolm burst into laughter, "That's a very vain accusation. And a very interesting way of putting it."

"You _are_ obsessed," Felix hissed, "We've spent less than eight hours together and you keep trying to molest me."

"You keep on using that word," Malcolm mumbled, "I really don’t like how 'molest' sounds," He lifted a hand, caressing Felix's chin, "But, if you want me to stop, if you _really_ want me to stop, I'll stop," Felix's glare refused to fall, "Hey, you were the one who asked _me_ for a distraction. Now that you're all happy again, you think you can just walk away and leave me unattended?"

Refusing to listen to the silver-tongued scoundrel, Felix folded his arms and turned away, "I don't care."

"That's unfair. Given how hard I'm working to get Peter to confess to you. I don't get any reciprocating treatment?"

Felix stiffened at the vocal declaration of their wager. His eyes darted around, making sure that Peter was still busy at the stalls. He glared at Malcolm, feeling his heart beating out of his chest, "You'll get your end of the deal when it happens."

"Ah yes, your virginity," Malcolm whispered, "What if I told you our little romps would help you get Peter?"

Felix scoffed with disbelief, "How?"

A dedicated practitioner to the concept of 'Show don't tell', Malcolm tackled him to the sand once more, almost exactly as Peter did a while ago. He wrestled him down, holding him still with all his body weight as he crushed their lips together, gripping onto Felix's head so he could voraciously scour the cavern of his mouth with his tongue. Felix struggled and gagged beneath Malcolm, unable to breath with the scoundrel hard against his chest. He coughed and squealed pathetically, squirming in the sand trying to get away.

With just enough pressure and suffocation, Malcolm rendered Felix powerless and when the boy had exhausted himself with struggling, he could no longer sustain the barriers he had put up to ward him off and promptly let the pleasure overwhelm him. Involuntarily kissing back, Felix nearly welcomed the scoundrel's ridiculously pleasurable kiss. Just as Felix was heating up, Malcolm tore away, tilting Felix's face on it's side and suckling on his neck, claiming him right between his jaw and ear.

With his handiwork complete, Malcolm snapped another photo of Felix for his collection, focusing on the slight mark on his neck instead of his tired, flushed face before standing up and towering over his quarry, "He doesn't take jealousy very well," Malcolm giggled, planting a kiss on Felix's unresponsive lips, "Gets it from me."

"You think he'll confess to me if you make him jealous?" Felix whispered, clutching at his neck as he sat up. The mark was already purpling into an awful bruise, "Or are you just doing this for fun?"

"Why not both?" Malcolm replied, smirking. He extended a hand to Felix, "Come along, Felix. I have something to show you."

Slapping away the hand, Felix scrambled back onto his feet on his own, "I don't think so," He growled, "I'm not leaving Peter behind."

One brow quirked, a poisonous smile, an expression so much like Peter's that it made Felix shudder, "You'll do exactly as I say or I won't help you get your confession," With absolute confidence, Malcolm extended his hand once more, "Come along."

"You're delusional," Felix snapped, "What about you? If you lose the wager, you're cut off from any and all benefits from The Darlings. Or have you already forgotten?"

_That expression_ had yet to leave Malcolm's face. Felix wanted so desperately to slap it off. The older man always had the upper hand, engineered the situation so he'd have it. Both of them knew Felix's desire for Peter's love was far stronger than Malcolm's greed. Malcolm didn't even have to say it, watching Felix with a condescending smile as the lanky boy took his hand.

" _Good boy_ ," Malcolm cooed, searching the beach for Peter before dragging Felix back to his car.

 

Peter chuckled to himself as he squirted extra hot salsa onto Felix's taco, covering it up carefully with lettuce before carrying two platters back. It had been too long since he'd last eaten junk food. Wendy was always harping at him with eating healthy or high-end, going to restaurants Felix wouldn't have been able to afford even with two week's salary. But no matter how nice the food or how costly the service, nothing would beat junk food with his best friend.

Peter acted like he'd moved on from his days in high school, running a band of misfits like a street gang. It wasn't true, not in the slightest, and he hoped Felix understood that. He'd always be a lost boy and Felix would always be the most important person in the world to him.

_… Second most important person in the world to him._

Clearing his throat to empty his mind, he stepped back into the clearing and was shocked to find no one there, "Felix?" He called out, searching the beach with his eyes, "Felix!" He wouldn't run off like this, not even to play a trick. Immediately, Peter's eyes fell to the sand noticing the outline of a form pressed against the sand. Just from the lankiness of the mold, Peter knew it had to be Felix. Someone pinned him down.

Stacking the tacos on top of each other, Peter freed one hand so he could answer his phone.

_'Had an errand to run. I asked John to come pick you up'_

"An errand?" Peter murmured, _another excuse_. He wanted to text back, call _Malcolm_ out because he knew his father had a hand in this. He couldn't do it though, arm dropping to his side. Felix was so _happy_ ; he hadn't seen his best friend so happy since he started college. Whatever made Felix break away, whatever Malcolm offered him, must've made him so much happier.

Sitting in the sand by himself, Peter started on his taco mentally preparing himself for a scolding from Wendy for ditching their study session.

 

"He could've taken the bus back," Malcolm muttered, watching Felix lazily as he pocketed his phone after sending a text to John, "When did you get John Darling's phone number?"

"Michael gave it to me," Felix replied, returning his attention to the car and speeding up.

Malcolm snorted, resting his elbow on an open window and propping up his head by his cheek, "You know, if you have John wrapped around your finger, why not go for it?" Felix glared at him from the corner of his eye. Malcolm knew the answer; he must've been trying to provoke him, "Keeping yourself clean and chaste for Peter, right? Peter clearly didn't do the same for you."

Felix choked on his own breath, nails digging into the steering wheel as he continued driving.

"If you think about it, both of you could've married into the Darling family. Granted, only one of you will be able to have kids but you both could be living comfortably by now. Yet, you chose Peter and not the precious Darling who grovels at your feet," Malcolm chuckled, mocking Felix with it's sound, "On the other hand, Peter chose Wendy. You get the idea yet?"

Of course he did. Felix always understood the implication. He just wished the scoundrel would stop bringing it up: Peter chose fortune over him. Peter would rather live comfortably in his own world _without Felix_.

Felix didn't want to beg Malcolm to stop. The sadness was returning, polluting the pleasant morning spent on the beach with Peter and with the sadness came the endless thoughts reminding him of how badly he wanted Peter and why he hadn't smiled properly in months. With all of that came _need_ , the need for a distraction. Malcolm knew so he exploited it the best he could. Felix knew that was exactly what Malcolm was doing but he couldn't find the strength to stop him.

"Wendy told me she knows how you feel about Peter," Malcolm said spontaneously, "She said _everyone_ knows, even _Peter_."

Felix slowed the car, fearing that he'd swerve in a sudden burst of distress, "No he doesn't."

"Please, Felix. Everyone can see it," Malcolm replied. In Felix's distress, Malcolm snuck his hand over and began lightly caressing his thigh, pleased that Felix was too muddled in his own mind to notice, "You know how sharp my boy is, gets it from me mind you, of course he knows you love him."

"No he doesn't!" Felix denied, voice cracking as he shouted, "Because…Because…" _If he did_ …

"Because if he did," Malcolm echoed his thoughts, "Then he'd love you back, right?"

_But he didn't._ He knew how he felt and he still chose Wendy.

They didn't even know where they were going, driving circles all around the neighbourhood till Felix finally pulled up by the curb and stopped the car, clutching at his face trying to fight the tears Malcolm forced from his eyes. He wasn't going to cry, couldn't let himself cry. Peter hated it when he cried and Felix in turn hated himself.

Felix didn't even notice when Malcolm unbuckled his seatbelt, pulling the keys from the ignition and tossing them onto the dashboard before climbing onto Felix's lap, grabbing the switch at the side of his seat and reclining it into a makeshift bed. His mind was too clouded, unable to concentrate on Malcolm or even think about fighting back as the scoundrel lay down parallel to Felix's body, just hovering over his face.

"Don't cry, love," Malcolm whispered, stroking Felix's cheek and loving how docile he became when he was upset, "I'm here to make everything better. I'll get him to admit the truth. I'm his father. I know him best."

Malcolm's words were so inviting, so tantalizing, that he disregarded everything sinister and wrong hidden beneath them and threw all caution to the wind. He took fistfuls of Malcolm's hair and pulled him forward, crushing their lips together and initiating a kiss that would make Malcolm's look chaste. Surprised but pleased, Malcolm returned the kiss, plunging his tongue back into Felix's mouth and pleased as he felt another wrestling with him, pulling him in.

"I'll distract you over and over and over again till you're happy," Malcolm growled in a sultry voice, his tongue wrestling with Felix's even when he'd left the boy's mouth. He placed both hands on Felix's chest, squeezing at his pectorals teasingly before digging his nails in and scraping down _hard_. Had his shirt not been in the way, Malcolm knew he would've broken skin. Felix shuddered under him, bucking up as he tried to keep their bodies in contact, "As long as you do as I say, you'll get your happy ending."

In all honesty, Felix thought that was a pretty good price.

Calloused hands took Felix by the hip, pressing him upward as Malcolm ground down on him from above with brutal pressure. Felix's back arched, his spine straining till he thought it'd snap in half. A spot of spittle dripped from Malcolm's lip, leering at Felix's impressive display of flexibility. The car was too small, Malcolm barely had enough room to manoeuvre, limbs bunched up uncomfortably in the driver's seat. Whatever he wanted to do, he'd have to save it for later. Right now, just a sample would suffice.

Malcolm threw his head back as he humped Felix's hips erratically, grinding the front of their jeans together till he thought the fabric would fray. The scratch of buckles and coarse fabric coupled with Felix's increasingly heavy breathing was all Malcolm could hear past his thundering heartbeat. The more heat and ecstasy that pooled at his loins, the harder he ground against Felix, Malcolm's eyes sparkling as Felix nearly bent over backwards from the sheer amount of tension in his spine.

" _Lovely_ ," Malcolm murmured, shutting his eyes and raising his voice as he neared his climax, " _Yes, yes!_ " He opened one eye, noticing that Felix was biting down on his wrist, muffling a cry as his hips darted upward, dampness pooling right at the crotch. He came first, "How adorable," Malcolm cooed, grinding down _harder_ trying to feel the wetness through his jeans.

Draping himself over Felix as he came, Malcolm let out a throaty groan right by Felix's ear with his hips flush and pulsing against the younger boy. He crooned as Felix shivered at the contact, both of them feeling a stain of come through the fabric of their jeans. Chirping with delight, Malcolm stayed where he was, hands flitting over Felix's body as he collected sand from his clothes.

"Dirty boy, literally," Malcolm said, smearing the dirt on Felix's cheek playfully. He gaped in surprise as Felix wound an arm around him and pulled the man close, pressing his face into his shoulder and taking a deep breath. Surprised but not deterred, Malcolm giggled again and gave Felix's a tentative nuzzle, "Someone's feeling frisky. Save it for a bed, will you?"

A muffled scoff came from Felix as he took another deep breath. Lifting himself from his shoulder, "You smell nice," Felix murmured into his neck, "New cologne?"

Malcolm smirked, far too pleased with the comment than Felix expected, "Old cologne. Very, very old cologne," He hummed as Felix took another fistful of his jacket and pressed his face into his neck, breathing in the fine, earthy musk, "Don't you remember? When you were little, you really liked it."

Felix honestly didn't remember but the high from his orgasm coupled with the enticing scent distracted him enough, "You didn't wear it last time."

"It's a discontinued brand. I've been saving my last bottle for a special occasion," Malcolm purred giddily, biting down a smile as Felix rolled his eyes, "What? Don't believe me?" He pecked Felix's cheek when the boy huffed in reply, "Go back to my place and I'll show you."

"You just want me at your house," Felix snapped.

"Guilty as charged," Malcolm hummed in a sing-song voice, "More specifically, I want you in my bed but I can wait on that one," He dragged a finger down Felix's chest, pressing the fingernail under Felix's belt when he reached his jeans, "You could use a change of clothes too. You're dirty."

Felix ignored him best he could, staring out the window blankly till he felt a hand massaging the stain on his pants. Dirt and sand were fine with him; he barely even brushed his hair. That _stain_ on his jeans, however, would be an issue.

"Or, we could go back to your apartment…"

Seeing nowhere else to go and in a desperate need for a change of clothes, Felix let out a sigh as he smacked Malcolm on the chest, "Fine. You win. Let's go to your place. Now get off so I can drive," He gave Malcolm another playful smack as the scoundrel crawled back onto his side, staring at Felix with barely contained enthusiasm as he fixed up his seat and started the car.

 

The spray of the shower washed it all away, sand, filth, shame. Felix dragged his fingers through his hair, eyes shut as he stood under the endless stream of water. As he scrubbed himself clean, he tried to use a little soap as possible to prevent making himself _smell_ like Malcolm. He couldn't deny it though as he rinsed off the suds, there was the slightest allure that Malcolm's scent sparked. If he closed his eyes and concentrated only on the spicy, smoky scent of his soap and body, the slightest mewl would slip from his lips as he _shivered_ with lust. It made no sense to him how enticing Malcolm was and as much as Felix blamed it on his desperation, he couldn't deny the attraction he had to the older man.

He was the refined, matured version of Peter. What was there not to love?

It might've been desperation that pulled Felix away into the nightclub's bathroom but it was lust that pulled Malcolm up against the door of his apartment, just almost letting that scoundrel in. He'd let the man jerk him off several times now without Felix beating him to a pulp in response. There was no excuse for his actions, not anymore.

Felix shut off the water, rushing out of the stall and toweling himself off before he drove himself mad with questions. He lifted the bundle of clothes Malcolm had left for him, simple pajama pants and a loose top clearly belonging to the older man. _Great_. Another layer of Malcolm's scent to smother him.

When Felix stepped out from the bathroom, he half-expected the older man to be waiting outside ready to pounce on him and dirty him all over again. He was honestly surprised to see no one around, his eyes scanning the hall briefly till they fell upon one door.

_Peter's room_. The door was shut and the painted stars upon the wood had chipped away leaving faint outlines, memories of what they used to be. He was naturally pulled towards it, stepping across the bathroom and taking the smooth copper-coloured doorknob in hand. He twisted it, pushing the door open just a crack and peering in.

To no one's surprise, Malcolm had used the room for storage, piling up boxes of junk here and there. Judging from the amount of clutter and thick layer of dust, it was clear that no one had been in his room for years, possibly even a decade. All of Peter's childhood toys remained, the forest green toy box in the back coated so deeply in dust that it almost appeared white. Curiously, Felix spied an open notebook on the desk scrawled with half of what appeared to be homework. When Peter left Malcolm's home for good, he was in a hurry. Nearly all of his belongings had been left behind.

_This room_. This was his safe haven, a place only he and Peter shared memories. It killed him not being able to go inside.

"Felix!" Malcolm called to him, "I found something fun to look at."

Shaken from his thoughts, Felix shut the door behind him and followed the voice, stiffening when he noticed that it came from _Malcolm's bedroom_. He stopped right at the doorframe, seething as Malcolm waved to him from his bed clutching a stack of photos in his other hand with a heavy album sitting on his pillow.

_The photo of him and Peter at the beach_. That single photo brought back more happiness than he'd felt in months and now an entire album of memories lay in Malcolm's hands. Felix would have been a fool to resist and Malcolm preyed on it. He stroked the sheets next to him, enticing Felix over.

Felix approached, trying to gather as much composure as he stood before the older man, "If you touch me, I don't care what photo you're holding, I'm leaving."

Malcolm shrugged, shuffling aside to give Felix more room, "A thank you would be nice," He sneered, wrinkling his nose but nonchalant when Felix took a seat slightly away, "Bet you never even knew these photos existed," He handed the photos to Felix, spreading them across both their hands as Felix sorted through them.

The smile on Felix's face was involuntarily, dumbstruck from how simple photos could invite back such welcoming memories. His fingers traced the largest photo on the top: The day Felix and Peter went to the amusement park, the first time Felix truly fell in love with Peter. He wanted to ask if he could keep them but he knew the scoundrel would force a price. Felix was already uncomfortable on his bed, last thing he wanted was the man groping him and tainting the moment.

"Remember that one?" Malcolm said, smiling as he retrieved a photo of Felix covered in mud, "You had a mud fight with Peter in my backyard. Had to clean you off before I brought you back to the nuns," He snickered, gesturing to another photo with Peter and Felix bathing with bubbles all over, "So _cute_."

Felix rolled his eyes, shuffling the bathing photo to the back. His brows knitted together as he landed on a photo of him sleeping in auburn sheets. Peter only decorated his room in green, an affinity he carried through his whole life. If he was sleeping under auburn sheets then this photo was certainly not from one of their sleepovers.

"What's this one?" Felix asked.

Malcolm hummed with contemplation, taking the photo and flipping it around, "Ah," He gasped, coming to a realization, "You were exhausted one day and Peter hadn't returned from class so I let you sleep in my room while we waited."

"Why would I be over without Peter?" Felix asked.

Malcolm smirked, cautiously brushing Felix's chin with one finger in fear of the boy acting on his threat, "It's like I said. You used to have a crush on me and you'd come over to see me. You really don't remember?" Felix shook his head. He honestly _couldn't_ , "Haven't you noticed how you turn to putty whenever I'm around?"

" _As if_ ," Felix growled. He was certainly more lustful but never _putty_ as he put it so gracefully.

"You used to like me very much," Malcolm sighed dreamily, voice low and husky as he tapped on Felix's nose, "I still remember a long time ago, you said you loved me."

Scoffing, Felix put the photos aside. However, despite the slightest disgust he felt, he hadn't flat out stood up and left, "Stop making stories up," The one he loved was _Peter_ , not him, "I love… _Peter_ ," The name choked in his throat. He had to convince himself that his feelings for his beloved friend hadn't changed despite learning that Peter was aware of his affection.

To his surprise, the scoundrel backed off, sitting back on the bed as Felix flipped through the photos. The more he searched, the more he realized how Peter wasn't in most of them. Even if Felix couldn't remember, the photos certainly proved that he'd been over without Peter.

"Why do you love my son?"

The question shook him out of his train of thoughts. Felix glanced up, eyes narrowing, "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean. What do you see in my son?" Malcolm rephrased his question, "Not much to love really. He's a self-serving, little shit. Happiest day of my life when he moved out. Never had to deal with that brat again," He reached out, _almost_ stroking his chin before pulling away just a mere inch from contact, "Whatever he can do, I'm sure I can do it better."

Felix was appalled, "How could you say that?" If Felix ever had any doubts on Peter's attitude, his father's offending remarks would explain it, "Peter protected me. He took care of me. I had nothing to my name and he still played with me," The more he spoke, the harder he gripped into the photos, crushing them, "You don't know anything about him or what we did in high school. He's a real leader. And he's ten times the man you'll ever be!"

Words meant to deter Malcolm only made the older man smile more. Felix couldn't shake the unnerving thought that all his attempts to back away only made him wander deeper into Malcolm's trap, "My, my, that's a fiery response," Malcolm cooed, humming coyly as he sat forward with his elbows on his knees, "I wonder if Peter would fight for you in the same way."

The answer was obvious, "Of course he would."

Malcolm's brow quirked upward, "Would he really?" Felix wanted to confirm, wanted to declare Peter's loyalty to him. The words wouldn't leave his throat, "Why don't we review the facts then?"

Felix swallowed, unsure how to react. If he rejected, he'd be admitting that Malcolm was right. If he accepted, he wasn't sure what the scoundrel would do to him. He took a short breath, nodding with a defiant look in his eyes, "Fine. Whatever that means."

"Let's see, _where to start_ …" Malcolm clicked his tongue as he thought, fidgeting in an uncomfortable manner, "That phone of yours. I bet Peter made you buy it, right?" A barely suppressed flinch, "Yes, definitely. Because he wanted you to make sure that you're always on hand, he made you buy a phone no matter how embarrassingly cheap the model so he could contact you. And don't bother, I saw your phone logs. Peter's the only one you ever talk to."

Felix fought the urge to shout, tremble, or walk away. It had to be a lucky guess.

"Hm, and how about your car? Looks fairly old and bland, more suited for the elderly or the practical, possibly on permanent loan from the orphanage, yes?" Malcolm pondered, "A going away present for when they kicked you out for joining a gang. Mother Superior was always a fickle broad. One lick of deviancy and BAM, she kicks you out. I don't blame you," He leaned forward, staring straight into Felix's eyes with a hypnotic look, "But why would you need a car? You live in the heart of town, supermarkets, restaurants, college, _The Rabbit Hole_ , everything is close by. But I guess Peter needed someone to bring him around town, carry his things between his friends' houses. That's why you thought it was such a good idea to steal the car from the orphanage, right?"

Felix growled in his throat, averting his eyes, "I did it to piss off Mother Superior."

Malcolm smirked, "Can't see why both reasons can't be true," He twiddled his fingers in the air, anxious to rip into Felix's mind and show him his weaknesses, "You're a smart boy. Why don't you go to college?"

Trying to look smug but instead looking _adorable_ in Malcolm's eyes, Felix tossed his head back with a snarl, "I can't afford it."

" _Sure_ you can," Malcolm replied, almost purring, "I'm not talking about that fancy, preppy crap Peter enrolled into. I'm talking about a simple community college. Storybrooke's a small town. Even a simple degree could get you far," Malcolm closed in once more, breathing over Felix's face, "But I guess that would mean never getting to see Peter and you wouldn't want that."

Felix rolled his eyes, trying to dismiss him.

"Nah, that's not the reason at all," Malcolm said, letting out a small, mocking laugh when Felix crumpled, ducking his head submissively trying to hide the shock on his face, "Peter told you _not_ to enrol. Didn't he? So you'd always be on hand for him."

_"Maybe I should go to trade school, what do you think?"_

_"That's boring, Felix! Just stick around with me, I'll get you where you want to be."_

"He said he'd-"

"Get you where you want to be, right?"

Felix nearly doubled over, staring at Malcolm with an incredulous look, "H-How…"

"I told you. I know how my son thinks," Malcolm replied, pulling his lips back in a Cheshire Cat's smile, "I know he's _selfish_ and that he wants you to give him your _everything_ in exchange for just a spot of kindness from him. You'd give up the world for him; you already have. Now tell me, what has he given up for you?"

There had to be plenty of things Peter had given up for him. He'd been with him for years involved with countless situations. Felix couldn’t understand why it felt like all his thoughts were locked away, sealed tight within his heart or flat-out erased from his mind. All he could see was _Peter and Wendy_ and the poor, pathetic fool driving them around. He stuttered as he spoke, finding no words and no way to fight back.

"So, why do you love my son?" Malcolm asked once more, giggling as he lifted Felix's chin with a finger. He took the photos from Felix's hands without a fight, flipping through them absently as Felix collected his thoughts.

Without his memories to fight with, Felix turned his attention to Malcolm trying to formulate an argument that wouldn't end with just throwing around immature remarks, "If you're so sure Peter doesn't love me, why did you make that wager?"

"I never said he didn't love you," Malcolm replied eagerly, "I said he's selfish. He wants all of your affection, none of the work. He expects you to serve him hand and foot. He loves you because you'd do anything for him."

Felix scoffed at the idea, "None of the work? Then what about Wendy?" Felix had seen the two together, saw how Peter would go out of his way to buy gifts for her. Peter gave up his life as a ruffian for her, opting for a lofty life in college and disbanding the Lost Boys, _abandoning him_.

"He doesn't love her," Malcolm said, "How many times do I have to repeat that? Have you tried what I told you yet, about observing the two of them? I bet you're still blocking them."

"I've seen enough."

Malcolm chuckled at the attempt at a dismissal, "Wendy certainly knows."

Shutting Felix up, the boy was frozen once more, " _What_?"

"Wendy knows _Peter loves you_ ," Malcolm chimed, humming the last words as if it were a children's song, "She told me herself just as she told me that she knows you love Peter. She's so jealous, Felix, but she _loves him_ so much and doesn't want to let him go. I'd call her foolish if she wasn't so devious."

Devious? Wendy Darling, the youngest daughter of the Darling family, practically a _princess in Storybrooke_ , "Devious?" Felix snapped, "Are you kidding me?"

A hand clasped behind Felix's head as Malcolm moved forward swiftly and kissed the top of his head. He was promptly smacked in the face by a flailing hand as he backed off, laughing as Felix stared at him like a madman, "Silly, silly Felix. I think you're more innocent than that Darling girl could ever be," Malcolm commented, tracing his lips playfully, "Did you think Wendy and I were seriously talking about wedding planning? That was just something we made up to sell to Peter," Felix gaped, honestly surprised, "I told her that I would settle your relationship with Peter and in return, I get a good reputation in her family," Malcolm chuckled at the thought, scratching absently at his beard, "She might be naïve but she's not a complete fool. Who hires a wedding planner after five minutes of talking?"

Peter had been mistaken. What Wendy wanted and Malcolm preyed on was not a wedding planner but closure to Felix and Peter's relationship. Felix wasn't sure if he should be proud of the doubt lingering in Wendy's mind or scared that she would go this far to have Peter for herself.

"Quite a spell my son's put on her. He worked really hard for this bird. At this rate, I bet he's already slept with her," Malcolm snickered, "He really gets it from me, hands down."

Felix clicked his jaw shut before he could make a sound. Malcolm wasn't looking at him but Felix knew the scoundrel was aware of his distress. His eyes blurred so he kept them averted, trying to wish the tears out from then. He wasn't crying. _He wasn't_.

Malcolm whistled a playful tune as he sorted through the photos, picking out just the ones with Felix in them, "You really were the most adorable child when you were little. Such a cutie," He cooed, "Maybe I'll keep a couple of these photos on hand," He turned to Felix, playing at surprised but completely aware of what he had done to him.

Felix was completely still, eyes pointed to the ground and brows slightly knitted together in frustration. It had been a good day till Malcolm ripped him away from Peter and leeched on his weakness, preying on his broken heart and worming into his mind. He didn't know what to do. Peter didn't let him cry so when Felix was faced with an awful tension in his heart, he had no idea how to cope with it.

Malcolm clicked his tongue, "Oh no. I've upset you," He coiled an arm around Felix's head, pulling the tall boy against his shoulder and nuzzling at the golden nest of wet hair, "Was it because I talked about Wendy? You don't want to think about the two sleeping with each other after you saved yourself this whole time for Peter?" His words were poison but his tone with mockingly soft, like a father chastising his toddler, "You know, love, when you were little, you were a huge cry baby. _Peter hated it._ He told you he'd stop being your friend if you kept crying and just like that," Malcolm snapped his fingers, "You stopped."

"Don't talk _about_ -" Felix cut himself off, a sob barely escaping his throat.

" _It's okay, Felix_ ," Malcolm's voice was smooth, soothing him as he caressed the side of his face, "I won't be mad at you," He held still as Felix trembled in his grip, "You can cry. I'll still love you."

A sob slipped past his lips and before Felix was even aware, stained his cheeks mixing with the shower water still damping his skin. He held in any loud sobs, unconsciously grasping at Malcolm's shirt and burying his face in the coarse material. It felt like years since he had cried so hard and despite how ashamed of himself he was, it felt _good_ to finally let it all out.

Felix didn't fight as Malcolm pulled him into his arms, didn't fight as the scoundrel held him tight against his body and caressed his back like a lover, "Just let it all out," He whispered, shutting his eyes and memorizing the feel of Felix clutching to his body. Somehow, his words summoned harsher feelings, whirlwinds ripping through Felix's body, and he cried harder and harder.

Every moment he saw Peter with Wendy, every time Peter abandoned Felix for himself, every moment he begged for Peter to admit that everything was a sham and that he should've chosen Felix from the start, everything came barreling back, shattering Felix into pieces and _Malcolm_ gleefully collected him in his arms.

Felix flinched violently when he heard a rattling from downstairs. Someone was unlocking the door and only one other person had the keys to the house. Felix desperately pawed at his face, trying to wipe away his tears. The last thing he wanted was for Peter to scold him. That would be the final straw and Felix knew he wouldn't be able to handle it.

Malcolm took his wrists gently, "I'll handle it. You stay here," He spoke quietly sounding more like a gentleman than Felix thought possible. He pecked Felix's forehead before heading towards the door, setting the lock and shutting it, leaving Felix locked and alone in the bedroom.

"Malcolm!" Peter barked as he stormed in, knocking down the coat rack angrily, "Get over here this instant!"

Smoothing out his clothes and then thinking against it and purposely rumpling his hair and shirt, Malcolm made his was sluggishly down the stairs, "Ah, Peter, what brings you here?" He didn't even tremble when Peter charged forward and grabbed his collar, pulling him forward violently.

" _Where's Felix_?" Peter growled, low and dangerous.

"Don't you have a fiancée to attend to?" Malcolm asked, purposely playing at innocence, "Or a midterm to study for? Or a wedding?"

Peter cut him off, shoving his father backwards and into the wall harshly, "Where's Felix?!" He repeated, snarling.

Malcolm maintained his cryptic smile, a satisfied look on his face that only sent Peter's stomach in a nauseating loop, "He doesn't want to see you. He doesn't want you to scold him," His eyes flickered upstairs for just a moment and Peter had already released his hold on his shirt, running up the stairs. His smile dropped, however, the moment John stepped in, glaring at Malcolm with all his hate. Malcolm clicked his tongue, returning John's glare, "So you really do come whenever Felix calls. If you knew anything about Felix, you know he doesn't love any man like-"

" _Save it_ ," John shut him down, refusing to let the scoundrel twist his mind with words.

Felix could hear the commotion but tried his hardest to ignore it. He sorted through the stack of photos Malcolm left behind, wondering if the photo album had more of Peter. Before he could reach for it, a rapid knock at the door made his heart stop.

"Felix," Peter's voice called through the wood, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Felix needed to stop crying. He held his palms hard against his eyes, nearly bruising his cheeks with the pressure but he just couldn't stop. The more he heard Peter's voice, the more it reminded him of how angry and upset he was about his unrequited feelings, _the harder it got to stop crying_.

A second knock, "Felix, come out."

" _I can't_ ," Felix muttered, too quiet.

A pause, "Why not?"

Felix hung his head, scrubbing his hands through his still wet hair, "Because you're going to yell at me."

Peter didn't say anything. He didn't move from his spot, the telltale shadow at the bottom of the door remaining still. Felix looked back at the photos, staring at the blond boy hopelessly entranced by his best friend and wondering when everything went wrong.

"…Felix, please open the door."

Years and years of following Pan's orders had imprinted Felix with a bad habit. Shutting his eyes once more, Felix stood from the bed and made his way over. Peter was stubborn; he'd wait there all night if he had to and Felix didn't want to drag it out any longer. He twisted the lock and opened the door, exposing his _broken_ self to Peter.

Peter wasn't angry. He didn't smile. He didn't scream. Instead, he stared at him with a warmth that Felix thought impossible for the rascal just as he thought impossible for his father, "Come. Let's go."

Felix felt like he was back at the orphanage, miserable and lonely waiting for Peter to take him away. He wondered what would've happened if Felix said no to Peter when the boy broke into his room to cajole him into sneaking off.

Without even acknowledging Malcolm, Peter dragged Felix out still wet and still in Malcolm's sleepwear. Without protest, John took off his woolen jacket and draped it around Felix. He wanted to speak as he straightened out his jacket on the blond but a quick grumble from Peter silenced him. Resigned, John made his way back to the car where Michael sat waiting in the driver's seat.

"Well?" Michael asked, "You need me to call the cops?"

"No, no, we settled it," John replied, embarrassed that he had freaked out when Peter claimed that Felix had been kidnapped.

Michael shrugged lazily, "And you made this sound so exciting. Come on, hop in. I'll drive you all back."

John made his way around the car, opening the passenger seat door before noticing the grungy car parked in the driveway: _Felix's car_. If they drove off now, no doubt Felix would have to come back to retrieve his car. The last thing John wanted was for Malcolm to have another excuse to see Felix. Growling under his breath, he stepped out of the car and shut the door, "I'll drive Felix's car back. You go home first and tell Wendy that Peter's safe."

"You sure? I mean,you only have a learner's permit," Michael whispered the last part.

Shushing up his brother, John caught the keys Peter threw at him, "Drive," He commanded, leading Felix into the backseat and sliding him across the seats.

With just a shrug from Michael, John backed out from the driveway in Felix's car and made his way to the main street. The silence was awkward between all three of them. John and Peter never got along, Felix didn't want to speak, but everyone was desperate to say something to drown out the sound of Felix sobbing quietly every few moments.

"Can't you drive any faster?" Peter grumbled without malice. He was just trying to fill the air with talk.

"I don't drive often," John replied, checking the rear-view mirror to see Felix crushing himself to one side of the car with his arms around himself, "Where do you want to go?"

John watched as Peter looked to Felix, biting his lip waiting for a response from Felix. When none came, Peter looked back to the mirror, "Felix's place."

Silently, John acknowledged Peter's command and made a left turn, trying to shorten the route back home as much as possible to end this awkward quietness. Felix still had yet to speak, merely concentrating on anything outside the car. When Peter couldn't take it anymore, he spoke up. He took hold of Felix's jacket sleeve and pulled.

"What did my father do?" Peter asked.

Felix's eyes flickered over to Peter. He could never tell him. He could never lie so Felix shifted his gaze back out the window.

Not giving up, Peter kept pressing, "What did he say to you?"

"Said a lot of things," Felix mumbled.

"You can't listen to him. He's a cheat and a liar. He just wants to manipulate you to get to me. Just like he's always done," Peter hissed, trying to keep his tone even but quickly dipping into snarls at the slightest mention of his father, "Whatever he said to hurt you, it's not true."

_Not true…?_

Felix's eyes shifted back to Peter. His tears finally stopped, replaced with something else as he spoke, "He said you know how I feel about you."

Peter fell silent. The car swerved just the slightest. John cleared his throat loudly, trying to focus on the road and not on the conversation in the back. That voice was back in Felix's head, telling him that Peter would finally confess and he would finally have his happy ending.

Peter choked out his response, " _Yes_. That's true."

Felix wanted to scoff or sneer. At best, he merely turned away and let out a hoarse gasp, "You knew all this time and you never said a thing."

"I didn't think it needed mentioning," Peter replied, too casually spoken to be insincere.

"How long have you known?"

Peter shrugged, "Since middle school?"

Felix carried that stupid idea for years, that Peter would love him back when he finally learned how he felt about him. Now he just felt like an idiot. Felix turned away, shutting down the conversation. He had no one to blame but himself.

Reading his mind, Peter knew what Felix had been hoping for and felt guilty when he couldn't deliver, "I still _care_ about you."

Not love.

Not like Felix who foolishly loved him for years, "I gave up everything for you," He couldn't stop himself from repeating Malcolm's words. The scoundrel planted them so deeply in his head, "I did everything you told me to do. I bought a phone. I got a car. I stopped crying for you. I learned how to fight. I didn't go to college. I lost my place at the orphanage because of your Lost Boys."

"You're using my father's words-"

"So what!" Felix blurted out, "I did everything for you. _I saved myself for you_ ," Countless potential lovers, friends who wanted to be closer, turned away because Felix wanted Peter to be his first.

Peter didn't know how to react, upset but also angry that Felix was accusing him for holding back, "I never forced you to do any of this. I didn't ask you to save your virginity for me," Felix was still angry, still glaring at him, still _blaming him_ and Peter couldn't stand it when Felix's hatred was directed at him, "Stop staring at me like that, _Felix_."

"You don't care about me," Felix hissed, "That's why you disbanded the Lost Boys and went to a college that I couldn't follow. That's why you chose _Wendy_."

"Well excuse me for wanting to move up in life," Peter growled back, "Excuse me for not wanting to end up as a deadbeat like my father. I moved on because I had a chance to," If Malcolm was right, Peter was talking about _Wendy,_ "And if you were in the same situation as me, you would've chosen to move on too."

Felix's eyes flickered to the mirror, locking with John's, unable to pull away. Felix _was_ in the same situation, could've chosen John and had the world, but he chose Peter. He chose to stand his ground and for the first time in his life, he began to regret it, "I wouldn't have," He murmured, weak, " _I didn't,_ " Felix _sobbed_ , trembling as he fought the urge to flat out scream at Peter. Malcolm was right. Peter's defining feature was his selfishness which was why he was drawn to Felix who was completely submissive.

Before another screaming match could start, John stopped the car, "Peter. Get out," He said, bitter and harsh and completely unlike John, "Just get out."

Peter didn't fight. He knew he had said something wrong. He reached for Felix, desperate to comfort him but the boy flinched from his touch. His eyes then drifted to John. He was stunned with how much rage the Darling could muster with just a single look. Peter was never one to back away so when he stepped out from the car, he felt like something vital had been broken in his life. As soon as he shut the door, John started the car and sped down the road, making a final turn and driving into the parking lot by Felix's apartment.

John followed Felix up, offering him a shoulder to lean on if he wanted. Felix didn't want it. This had gone from the best day he had in ages to one of the worst in just a matter of hours. Despite his efforts to avoid an argument with Peter, it happened anyway and now Felix was beyond any comfort John could offer him.

Unlocking the door, Felix almost entered till John stopped him, a hand clasped onto his shoulder.

"Felix, will you be alright on your own?" John asked, concerned about Felix in a way no one else ever had been.

Felix nodded back silently, biting on his lip and trying to force himself into his apartment but he found himself rooted to the floor, staring at John desperately. He wanted _comfort_. Malcolm instilled this need into him whenever he was upset. Carelessly, Felix grabbed John's collar and jerked him forward, pressing their lips together. He pulled back immediately when he felt John flinch. Fearing the worst, Felix nearly backed away till he felt John's hands at his shoulders, sliding up to cup the back of his head before pressing their lips together once more. John knew he was nothing but comfort for Felix but he didn't care, as long as he could make him happy.

Straightening out John's shirt as he pulled away, Felix slid off John's jacket and placed it back in the Darling brother's arms. Blush illuminated John's face at the sight of Felix dressed in thin sleepwear but he quickly shook it off, winding an arm around Felix's neck and kissing his forehead.

Their ten-second affair was wordless. John backed away with a quiet goodbye while Felix shut the door. However, neither of them could part ways. John stopped right at the stairs while Felix remained at the door, hands still on the brass-coloured doorknob.

What more was there to lose?

Was giving Felix comfort really so bad?

Turning back around and nearly sprinting, pulling the door open and taking one step forward, John crashed his lips into Felix's and walked him backwards, kicking the door shut behind them as he scoured his body with his hands, lips locked for the entirety.

 

"Pizza's here," Felix declared as he returned from the door with a large pizza box in hand. He pulled out a small stool from the corner and set the box upon it, gesturing to John who sat on the bed watching the box TV in the corner.

John smiled pleasantly to him as acknowledgement, sliding towards the edge of the bed as he unbuttoned the first few buttons of his dress shirt. Felix smirked at the odd sight, a grown man dressed in expensive finery sitting at the edge of a crummy bed snacking on cheap pizza.

"What?" John inquired, smiling as he un-tucked his shirt, "What are you smiling about?"

"The famous John Darling, the soon-to-be president of the largest bank in Storybrooke, dressed in the most expensive suit anyone could buy," Felix said as he flopped onto the bed, "Eating pizza at the foot of my bed," John smiled back shyly and continued eating, unperturbed. Felix took the remote in his hand and flipped through the channels on TV, finding nothing but trashy night-time shows, "Are you sure your siblings won't be worried that you're out this late?"

John chuckled at the remark, "Do you think I'm a child?"

"Sometimes," Felix cooed, absently smirking as John smacked him over the knee.

"It's fine. I took the day off when Peter told me you were _kidnapped_ ," John explained, biting on a piece of crust, "And Michael knows where I am so he'll pass that on to everyone else," Seemingly without provocation, John began to blush, "God, he's never going to let me hear the end of this."

"We didn't have sex," Felix reminded. Sure, they had a quick and dirty make out which eventually led to Felix's bed and both of them eventually dozed off in each other's arms but they still didn't have sex. Thinking it over, Felix figured this would probably not be a good argument against Michael's gossiping.

Felix shook his head as he took a bite of his pizza, "Peter thought I was kidnapped?"

"That's how he made it sound like," John replied, "He said someone pinned you down on your back and then took you away while he was busy."

"And you believed him?"

"Of course not," John replied, his expression suddenly getting soft, "You were upset. Your judgement was clouded so I thought someone took ad…" He trailed off when he noticed Felix's shoulders sink, "I-I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You were right," Felix replied. Malcolm _did_ take advantage of him and Felix let it all happen, accepting all of it as comfort.

John cursed himself for creating tension between them. Already the heat was returning to his cheeks. He waited in silence, glancing over at the TV occasionally trying to find something to converse about.

He was surprised when Felix spoke up first, "I'm sorry you had to hear all that in the back of the car," It was the most pathetic moment in Felix's life to have the boy he pined for since childhood tell him straight up that he didn't want him. He was a fool not to see it or perhaps he had seen it all along and deluded himself into thinking he had a chance.

"I won't tell anyone," John said.

"… Thanks."

Another silent moment later, John spoke up, "I'm sorry on Wendy's behalf. For the record, she never meant to hurt you."

John didn't know. He didn't know the crooked deal she made with Malcolm to drive Felix away. Even if it was nothing personal towards Felix, even if it was solely based on her feelings for Peter, Felix could never see Wendy in the same light ever again. Ironically enough, this devious twist made her seem far more suited to Peter than Felix ever thought possible.

"Mm," Felix hummed in reply, going for another slice of pizza, "It's not her fault. Peter knew how I felt from the start. He never loved me."

"He doesn't know what he's missing out on," John said confidently, immediately melting in a bashful mess when Felix whipped around to look at him, "You're different when you're around him. With everyone else, despite how aloof you try to be, you've got this confidence and coolness to you. But when you're with him," He trailed off, carefully gauging Felix's gaping expression, "You always take a step back and let Peter shine. You always put him first. And that's rare, you know, not anyone can find someone like that. Not even Wendy does that for Peter."

John's eyes drifted to Felix and he gasped when he noticed the blond staring at him with an unreadable expression. He'd only seen that face on Felix whenever the boy was around Peter, anytime his leader complimented him or gave him a gift. The urge to flat-out embrace Felix was overwhelming and caused his cheeks to heat up rapidly.

Felix let out a small laugh as John was once again beet-red. He watched the Darling brother take his glasses off nervously, wiping them off with the corner of his shirt, "Just, something I want you to know. I'm sorry if I didn't word it right. I'm not that good at…" He put the glasses on his face and froze when Felix reached forward and pulled them back off, "Felix?"

"Shh," Felix whispered, putting his glasses onto the pizza box as he reached forward and pushed back John's neatly brushed bangs. His second hand came up, cupping his cheek while the other hand glided down from his forehead to mirror it. There was a sadness in Felix's eyes that had yet to be cleared. Even with John's company, Felix still longed for Peter. As much as that broke John's heart, the Darling brother ignored his own feelings for Felix's sake.

John was startled when Felix leaned in. Their kiss at the door was hungry and desperate, both of them fulfilling a need that had eluded them: Felix's frustration with Peter and John's long, unrequited feelings for the lost boy. This kiss, the softness in Felix's embrace, the weakness in his eyes, John knew it would lead to something more, lead Felix into something he'd forever regret as long as he held a candle for Peter.

As John shut his eyes, fearing for the worst yet unable to get enough, he puckered his lips slightly waiting for Felix only to be met with a cotton nose pressed against him. His eyes snapped open and he stared straight into the teddy bear's beaded eyes.

"W-What?" John gasped out as Felix dropped the bear onto their laps and laughed.

Felix didn't reply, merely laughing away with one hand still clasped to his cheek. His unhappiness was just slightly concealed by his laughter, still bleeding through and making John's chest ache. He wondered how long Felix hid his unhappiness, forcing himself to watch Pan break up their old friends and move on with Wendy. After all that, he still followed Pan without delay.

It made John wonder if he was the first person Felix could show his true feelings to. He certainly didn't want Peter to see and he would have too much pride to show it to the former Lost Boys. John wasn't filled with barbs or judgemental remarks. He was soft and Felix appreciated that. Smiling sweetly, John embraced Felix, holding him flush against his body.

"Are you free tomorrow?"


	4. Accomplice

It was a school day today but Felix didn't care. He didn't want to see Peter right now and he was sure his leader felt the same. Waking up late, Felix poured himself a bowl of wheat flakes and flipped on the TV to the local news. Almost immediately, Felix spat out his cereal before scanning the box, wondering if it had expired. Already, he was pining for the sugary junk he was accustomed to and searching through the grocery bag by his bed for his choice breakfast.

John had left already, returning home to change his wardrobe before heading back to work. He asked Felix to come to his office at lunch and hang around if he had time. There was little else to do given the fight he had with Peter. He certainly wasn't going to see _Malcolm_ again. The man was poisonous. Being around the older man always made him feel weak and small, using pleasure and mind games to belittle Felix and make him submit.

His cheeks heated up at the thought of the scoundrel. Felix should've been disgusted by the man whenever he forced his body upon him, rutting at him like a dog in heat. Instead, he felt his mind turn to mush as the blood rushed to his loins. He groaned, gripping into the blankets trying to smother the raw desire building in his cock. _Seduction right down to his bones_ , this was the only way Felix could describe Malcolm. Felix clicked his tongue at the idea, promising himself to keep Malcolm from his thoughts for the entire day.

He ignored his phone, setting the text message tone to silent so he wouldn't know if Peter was texting. Today, he was going to see John and everything else could just fuck off for all he cared. He slid open his closet, sorting through everything trying to find something relatively decent to wear. At best, he had a slightly cleaner black hoodie and a pair of jeans stuffed under a pile of laundry. Perhaps Wendy was right, he should get more clothes.

Despite his initial confidence, the moment he stopped at a red light and heard his phone vibrating, his eyes fell upon it and he checked the text messages out of reflex.

_'Felix. Let's talk. Come to Granny's for lunch.'_

…

_'Sorry Peter. I have plans.'_

Felix said, tucking his phone away. To deny Peter was a sin in his mind but Felix couldn't let himself care. Peter never loved him. He needed to accept that and move on. _Move on_. Move on like Peter had with Wendy. The words sounded so _wrong_ but Felix had no other choice.

Parking his car in the public lot, Felix entered the bank and stepped into the lobby, shooting an awkward look to the secretary who stared at him in puzzlement. Judging from his large hoodie and disheveled appearance, he looked like he'd be here to rob the bank, not visit their manager.

"Can I help you?" The secretary asked cautiously.

"I'm looking for John Darling," Felix said, scanning the many office doors wondering which one was John's.

"I'm sorry. You're going to have to make an appointment," The secretary said before suddenly trailing off, "Wait, are you Felix?" Felix gave her a nod, brows knitting in irritation as the secretary watched him cautiously, "Do you have an ID…?"

Groaning, Felix took out his driver's license and slid it across the table. He was Felix, despite her disbelief. When she could find no other contradiction, she tapped a number on her phone and declared, "Mr. Darling, Felix is here."

A door opened from the far end of the hall. Eager footsteps clattered against the carpeted floor as John rushed down to greet him with a huge smile on his face. Felix was taken aback by John's attire. He had thought the suit from last night was expensive; it had nothing on John's current suit, the fine black fabric nearly violet in the light with an off-white silk tie and an auburn dress shirt underneath. Felix felt even more out of place when compared to his casual attire.

"You look good," Felix muttered. He flinched when John approached him swiftly, nearly lunging, before sweeping Felix up in his arms with a hug. He gasped and shook but didn't blush at the intimate contact, "Um, are you okay?"

John released him, red with embarrassment but still happy, "Fantastic," He replied, holding Felix's hand as he addressed his secretary, "I'll be taking my lunch break now. Redirect all questions to Michael."

"Yes, sir," The secretary replied, still eyeing Felix with the slightest bit of contempt.

Ignoring it, Felix followed John out. Their hands were still connected and Felix didn't have the heart to pull away in front of others despite how _uncomfortable_ it felt. The gesture was too kind, too romantic. When the two entered the elevator, Felix immediately slinked away, backing off to a comfortable, casual distance.

"Sorry," John said, flexing his hand before stuffing it into his pockets, "I didn't ask if you were okay with that."

"No, no, it's fine," Felix murmured a bit too quietly, "I'm not ready for that yet," Contrary to everything yesterday, John standing up for him, John giving him comfort, John embracing him when he was about to cry, John was still just a friend.

John nodded, silent, his natural professionalism hiding the slightest sting in his heart. He knew Felix still loved Peter and that last night was just desperation. For now, he'd be Felix's friend. Clearing his throat to interrupt the awkward silence, John quickly flashed Felix a smile, "So, I'm thinking we go to one of my favourite restaurants. It's just a quaint little restaurant my family would always go when I was little. _I'm paying_."

At the last remark, Felix flinched. For so long, he'd handled himself that it was strange when someone else offered to help him. John caught the apprehension but before he could speak, Felix cut him off, "Thank you," He said quickly. He'd been turning John down for so long, he thought the Darling deserved some reciprocal treatment which was why before the elevator doors opened, Felix fought against his discomfort and took John's hand, holding it firmly as he pulled John out. Felix didn't even need to turn around to know that John's face had lit up bright red again.

"You're going to love it there," John said, eagerly overtaking Felix and appearing to drag the lanky blond along as they made their way to the restaurant, "It's casual dress to so you'll fit right in," John remarked, nodding to Felix's sweater, "I'm the one that's going to stick out like a sore thumb."

Felix disguised his chuckle in a huff, eyeing John with amusement, "Did you pick it out just for me?"

John smirked at him, winking, "Maybe," At the completely uncharacteristic gesture, Felix burst into laughter and quickened his pace, walking beside John, "You don't have any formal clothing, do you?" Felix shook his head. He never needed it, "I see. I've got a bit of free time after lunch since Michael will be handling my affairs. How about we… go shopping?"

"Shopping?" Felix repeated, trying not to sound _annoyed_. He couldn't understand why John would suggest this. It reminded him of when Wendy commented on his grungy attire, a backhanded comment when paired with her compliment on his looks, "I don't think so."

"John!" Wendy's voice called out.

"Felix?" Peter added.

Said men both froze where they stood, staring at Wendy and Peter who were approaching the same restaurant as them. John quickly tried to shoot an apologetic look to Felix, the hand still locked around Felix's trying to separate itself as quickly as it could. He was utterly shocked when Felix's grip on him _tightened_.

"Wendy, Peter," Felix greeted, forcing a smile on his face as he traced circles on John's wrist, leaning against the Darling brother as he spoke.

Peter wasn't happy but no one could be sure why. He kept his eyes on Felix, studying him. He looked upset but also angry, like Felix had no right to stand next to John, "What are you two doing here?" Peter asked, glancing to John for just a moment before turning back to Felix.

"I invited Felix out for lunch," John said, blushing when he felt Felix weave their fingers together, "You know, since this was our favourite family restaurant and its casual wear."

"Oh, same," Wendy said, nodding to Peter to highlight his casual green polo and khakis, "Thought it'd be nice to go somewhere we wouldn't have to dress up for."

"Ah," John said, nodding awkwardly. Both Darlings knew something was bound to erupt between the two feuding friends. John opted to leave, eyes glancing to a random store across the street reassuring Wendy that he'd find somewhere else to eat.

A tug on John's hand, "This place looks good," Felix said, "Let's eat," He didn't even spare Peter a single glance as he pulled John towards the restaurant, pulling the door open and ushering John in.

Wendy nearly pulled away, nearly got Peter back on the sidewalk, till her fiancé wrapped an arm around her shoulders and shepherded her into the restaurant. He didn't try to reason, the conniving look on his face more than an explanation for his actions.

"Table for four!" Both Felix and Peter announced in perfect sync while the Darling siblings watched on in horror.

Despite asking for a shared table, Peter and Felix sat as far as they could from each other, one on either opposite corner beside their date. Neither of them spoke, merely flickering their attention across the multiple objects on the table.

"So, we're doing some practice wedding photos today," Wendy said, "Would you both like to join us?" The answer was clear and Felix was pissed that Wendy would have the audacity to ask. He glared at her but didn't respond. Wendy cleared her throat loudly, looking to John in an attempt to change the subject, "You must've had a lot of work last night. Father was wondering where you were."

"I was at Felix's," John said absently, immediately realizing the implication when Peter glared at him, "We just had a bit of pizza and it was late so I thought I'd just crash there," He shuddered involuntarily when Peter's glare didn't drop.

" _John is a gentleman_ ," Felix declared, calling Peter's attention, meeting his eyes, and not shying away, "All we did was talk, eat, and sleep," Minus the make-out sessions on the bed but Felix figured Peter would understand.

"It's alright. You don't have to stand up for me," John said, trying to placate Felix with a kind expression and an innocent gesture, "Peter was just… worried about what happened yesterday," He gasped when he felt a hand on his leg, petting it in loving circles, "F-Felix?"

Wendy shook her head, feeling like she was missing a vital piece of the picture, "What happened yesterday?"

"Nothing," Felix said, loud and provoking in tone as if trying to call Peter out. His hand stayed on John's thigh and he melted when the Darling brother took his hand and kissed the back of it, "It's not important anymore."

A heavy glass hit the surface of the table, nearly shattering it on impact. All three of them jumped, attention immediately landing on Peter who held the glass in a white-knuckled hand, "What do you mean it's not important?"

Of course it was still important. Like Felix would even be here right now with John if Peter hadn't broken his heart all over again. He couldn't let himself falter though. Anytime he got into a fight with Peter, he'd always roll over and let him win, placating his beloved leader because he knew how badly Pan liked winning.

It was so _difficult_. Felix didn't realize how much relief letting Peter win gave him and how much his chest ached when he once again broke another bad habit. He clicked his jaw shut, fighting the urge to flat out apologize and let go of John's hand, crawl over to Pan and grovel on his knees for forgiveness.

Fortunately for everyone on the table, the waiter immediately swooped in with their lunches giving all of them something to distract themselves with.

 _Oh thank god_ , both Darling siblings sighed in relief before digging into their meals.

To fill the space with chatter, Wendy and John indulged themselves in light conversation as if their respective dates were not even there at all. The wedding was a completely taboo conversation topic as well as everything that happened yesterday.

The ping from Felix's pocket was almost completely lost on everyone. The Darling siblings prattled on while Felix removed his phone and flipped it open. He'd been ignoring those pings all morning, knowing that they were Peter. He ignored the "several missed messages" banner at the top and quickly checked the incoming message.

_'You left your clothes at my place.'_

Felix swallowed. It was Malcolm, the man who promised him everything he wanted in exchange for everything he had. His eyes flickered from the screen to his lunch, contemplating whether to respond or ignore the scoundrel.

_'I'm doing some very dirty things to them right now ;)'_

Groaning and fully aware that Malcolm was provoking him into a response, Felix quickly thumbed a response to the older man using no less than three obscenities to show his appreciation. He nearly snapped his phone shut till another response quickly came in.

_'I'm using your shirt to clean up the coffee I spilled. I don't know what you were thinking.'_

_'But its giving me a good idea ;)'_

Felix let out a bark of laughter, startling John and Wendy. Congratulations, Malcolm got him to laugh. He tucked his phone back into his pocket and attempted to return to his meal only to stop short. He couldn't move. His appetite was gone. It took him a reason to understand why. His eyes flickered up and he paled at the malicious look in Peter's eyes.

"Was that my father?" Peter growled.

Felix didn't want to reply but he couldn't ignore him. He cast his eyes downward, ducking his head down without a word. He wanted to look defiant but ended up looking _pathetic_. John and Wendy were silent again, watching Peter and Felix carefully.

"Didn't I tell you to avoid him?" Peter said, "He'll hurt you. There's nothing good that will come from that bastard."

Felix opened his mouth, words sitting in the back of his throat. _Yes, Peter. I understand._ He bit down on his lip to prevent his conditioned submission from slipping out. He knew it just made Peter angrier when he ignored him but he couldn't stop himself.

"You know I don't like being ignored," Peter said. When Felix refused to respond a third time, Peter snatched the phone from Felix's hands and backed away from the table, "I forbid you from ever talking to him."

Finding his voice, Felix shouted weakly, "Give that back," No bite in his words whatsoever.

Unbeknownst to Felix, Peter softened for just a moment at the sheer sadness in Felix's voice. He protected Felix for so long and it killed him for Felix to be upset at him, "Felix…" He murmured, still clutching the phone, "This is for your own good."

His beloved friend didn't have the strength to fight him but before he could admit defeat, John stood from his seat and approached Peter, "Give that back. You're making him more upset."

Peter growled at him, "Stay out of this, John. This has nothing to do with you."

"Haven't you done enough to him?" John boomed, the tragedy of yesterday still fresh in his mind.

"You don't understand-"

"I understand enough!" John cut him off, shouting loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear, "You're _not_ helping Felix. Not like this. Now give him back his phone!"

Peter folded his arms, his disdain for the older Darling evident but slightly more vicious than anyone would have expected, "Fuck off."

Felix wanted to say he didn't need John to stand up for him. He wanted to say that he could handle himself especially against Peter. Honestly, he didn't have the strength for it so he sat on the sidelines and watched as John fought for him. Wendy caught this and _she wasn't happy._

"Felix," She said, aware that John and Peter hadn't heard her at all, "We need to talk," She took his hand, forcing him out of his seat and out the door. If Felix wasn't so stunned with John standing up for him, he would've likely torn away in rage.

Tucking his hands shyly into his front pocket, Felix looked down at the Darling sister, "What is it?"

"I don't appreciate you taking advantage of my brother," Wendy declared, eyes firm and tone angry, "You know how he feels for you. I don't want you taking advantage of his feelings."

Felix could never be spiteful towards Peter. However, he had no qualms over upsetting Wendy, "Taking advantage of _his_ feelings?" Felix hissed, speaking more than he had the entire lunch, "Isn't that what Peter's been doing to me all this time? And you let him, even after you knew how I felt."

"I don't-"

"I spoke to Malcolm," Felix hissed, "I know you made a deal with him to split me and Peter up. Malcolm told me you knew how I felt about Peter," That shut Wendy up. She looked honestly surprised like she hadn't expected a scoundrel like Malcolm to squeal. Felix knew better. As if the scoundrel could withhold such delicious information, "That's why you let him push me around so you can make me hate him."

Wendy shrugged weakly, " _Everyone knows you love him_."

Felix rolled his eyes, "I knew him first. I _loved_ him first. And you came in and destroyed _everything_. Why?"

"Because I love him more than you," Wendy snapped, "I gave up my birthright to marry him."

"I gave up _everything_ for him!" Felix shouted back. It felt good to finally let it out, too good.

Wendy didn't look surprised. She almost looked guilty if the slightest spite she felt against Felix didn't bleed through. As much as both of them wished they could let this go, their love for Peter would always fuel their hatred.

"Just," Wendy murmured when Felix bowed his head, "Just don't take advantage of John."

It never crossed his mind to take advantage of John. He just needed the company without any sinful intent, "Of course I won't," Felix murmured, "I'm not you."

A crash in the restaurant startled both of them. They rushed back in to find John on the ground, dishes and chairs scattered around him where he fell. His nose was bleeding and his glasses had fallen, strewn amongst the spilled chowder and pasta.

"John!" Wendy shouted, running to her brother's side and helping him sit up, "Are you okay?"

Felix meant to scold Peter, use his rage left over from Wendy to finally tell Peter how he felt. Once again, he couldn't do it but for an entirely different reason. The last time he'd seen Peter get into a fight was back when the Lost Boys were still established and a touchy bartender had been creeping on Felix. In Felix's honour, Peter threw a fist at the slimy man, eventually starting a bar fight ending with all the lost boys bruised up but satisfied. Felix would never forget the sight of Peter pumped with adrenaline, snarling but controlled in his rage, a _feral king_ fighting for Felix's respect.

Peter once again had that fierce, charming glow, the same glow that seduced Wendy Darling but coarser and violent. Felix nearly swooned, forgetting about all his anger, "Peter…" He murmured, voice full as strength returned to him.

"Oh god, Wendy," Peter said, shaking his head as he ran from Felix's side and over to his fiancée, "I lost control. I'm so sorry," He knelt down beside her, hands on her shoulders supporting her as she attended to her older brother. Felix was completely irrelevant to him right now.

It really shouldn't have surprised him. It really shouldn't have hurt so much.

A dreariness returned to Felix, limbs feeling heavy as he ducked his head, eyes unfocused and weak. The empty feeling in his chest returned once all of his rage burned out. Knowing that he lost to Wendy made everything so much _worse_ and he almost couldn't stand it. He absently took his phone from the table, left behind when Peter ran to Wendy's side. He was dying for a distraction and _fortunately_ , he had received another text.

_'Come over and pick up your clothes when you can'_

_'I miss you :('_

Against his better judgement, too filled with thoughts and emotions to think straight, Felix texted back.

_'I miss you too.'_

He shut his phone, barely acknowledging Peter or the Darling siblings as he left the restaurant, making his way back to _Malcolm_. He hated himself for thinking it but he needed _comfort_ right now or else he'd just lock himself up in his room.

 

Peter hated John, hated his perfect hair and his perfect manners. But most of all, he hated him because he _loved Felix_. It wasn't right. No one else should be allowed to have _his_ lost boy. He'd seen Felix turn away from lovers before, Rufio was the closest but even he never got past a simple, friendly smile. But _John_ , Felix smiled to him, laughed with him, _kissed him_. Peter blamed it on the timing. With his time occupied by Wendy, John wormed his way into Felix's life behind Peter's back.

It was wrong in a way Peter couldn't articulate.

It was no surprise to Peter that he'd eventually start a fight with John. He just didn't expect the usually docile Darling brother to deliver such a direct hit:

"You really are _exactly_ like your father."

A split second later, John was on the ground reeling in pain with blood dripping from his nose. His glasses clattered against the floor, stained with food and dirt as it rolled over the carpet. He groaned heavily, clutching at the searing heat at his nose bridge while the world spun around him. Wendy came in first, pressing a tissue to his nose before helping him sit up. Peter came to him next, blubbering out insincere apologies with a disgustingly impressive act.

All John noticed was that Felix was no where to be seen. He could make out a blur at the table, the splotch of gold and black a clear indicator of his identity. Felix didn't move, almost like he was mortified. _Not from me_ , John figured but before he could call out, Felix left the restaurant.

As soon as he retrieved his glasses from the floor and the worst of the pain cleared up, John leapt to his feet and dashed out after Felix. Both Peter and Wendy tried to stop him for different reasons, reaching towards him only for him to squirm out of their grasp and push ahead, ignoring the pain and protests for _Felix_.

"John!" Peter cried out, standing up and getting ready to chase after him.

A hand on his arm stopped him, pulling him back and away, "Stop. Just let him go after Felix."

Reluctantly, Peter relented and returned to Wendy's side.

 

"Felix!" A hand on his arm, pulling him back. Felix was surprised when he saw thick-framed glasses and a bloodied nose looking back at him. The Darling brother swayed, his head still spinning from Peter's strike.

"John?" Felix murmured, catching the older Darling when he nearly toppled over, "You should sit down."

John shook his head and the motion nearly made him sick, "No. I had to stop you."

"Stop me from leaving?" Felix asked, trying to sound irritated, "I was using you. I thought I could make Peter jealous," His words were harsh but true. He foolishly bought into Malcolm's theory and paid the price. At the very least, John deserved the truth, "Your sister was right."

"As long as you're happy," John said, "As long as you're happy, I'll be fine."

The words were foreign to him. Felix couldn't comprehend.

"I know you're hurting from Peter. I know you hate my sister," John muttered, head still throbbing but doing his best to speak evenly, "And I know both of you are trying to spite the other because of Peter," Felix looked ashamed. By all definitions, he was losing to her and he didn't want anyone to remind him, "I haven't been fair to you either."

"I don't understand," Felix whispered, weakness and strength causing knots inside him, scaring him and soothing him in equal amounts.

John nervously swept his hair back, the dull ache in his head slowly subsiding, "I..I want you and I'm taking advantage of your feelings for Peter to get closer to you. It's not right."

Honestly, Felix hadn't notice a lick of self-gain from what John was doing. He wondered if John was purposely inflicting blame on himself to make Felix feel better for using him. _He was so kind._ Felix softened at the gesture, reaching up to steady John with a gentle touch to his cheek.

"I think it's the concussion talking," Felix said, slightly more confident. He smiled when John nuzzled into his hand, resting a palm over Felix's narrow knuckles, "Let's sit down first. I'll bandage you up."

Taking John's hand to lead him not to comfort himself, Felix walked the Darling brother down the street back to the bank. Felix ignored the generic ringtone of his phone, figuring that Peter was calling him with Wendy's phone so he wouldn't ignore him. The caller was persistent, calling at least three times before finally giving up. Felix didn't think much of it, didn't assume the worst. He had no idea who else it could be and what the consequences for ignoring it were.

The text message he had sent Malcolm in his despair completely slipped his mind.

 

"There we go," Felix muttered as he pressed a crumpled tissue delicately against John's bloodied nostril, "The bleeding stopped," His fingers lightly traced the bridge, feeling for any uneven ridges, "I've set your nose too."

John winced as Felix pressed a bandage over his bruised nose, "Thanks,"

"Sir, would you like any ice?" The secretary asked over the intercom.

John answered his secretary as Felix pressed the microphone button to him, "No. It'll be fine," He nodded a quick thank you to Felix before sitting back in his seat, "I think this is the first time I've ever had someone punch me in the face."

"Exciting?" Felix asked, packing up the first aid kit.

John shrugged, "Sort of," He touched the bandage on his face gingerly, "Do you do this a lot? This is pretty well done."

"I was in charge of bandaging up Lost Boys," Felix explained, "Granted, I was in charge of doing everything Peter thought was boring," John smiled at his words, whether out of common courtesy or genuine interest, Felix didn’t mind, "What did you say to him?"

The smile faded just a bit. It was clear he wasn't completely comfortable telling Felix but he pushed through it, "I told him that he was exactly like his father."

Breath hitching, Felix nearly dropped the first aid kit. He never expected John to say that, "What do you mean?"

John stuttered to reply, looking away shyly as he habitually cleaned his glasses, "It was just a heat of the moment kind of thing. I know he doesn't get along with his father so I was trying to piss him off," He gave Felix a lopsided smile, "Immature of me but I honestly didn't expect to get a fist to the face."

The door opened before Felix could be reply, cutting him off as Michael stepped into the room with a file, "John, I need you to take a look-" His gaze fell upon Felix and a brief pause later, Michael flashed him a smile and backed out of the room, "On second thought. I got this," Michael declared, shutting the door behind him.

"Sorry, Michael's very nosy," John said with a shy chuckle, playing with his glasses as he always did when he was nervous, "If he ever does something to make you uncomfortable, tell me."

Felix smirked, brow quirked upward at the remark. Michael never made him nervous but always succeeded in messing around with his brother. Sitting back, Felix recalled their conversation from before, "So, all you wanted to do was piss him off? What did he say?"

John didn't look happy but he didn't want to decline Felix's question, "He said I was using you and that I didn't have the confidence to fight for you until you were hurt."

Another confirmation that Peter always knew how he felt and did nothing about it. Felix swallowed it down and responded, "So that's where that outburst came from."

"Yeah," John sighed out, "I was just so angry, I wanted to say something to piss him off even more."

Felix gently brushed a finger over John's bandage, "You succeeded."

A soft sigh slipped from John's lips. He nudged at Felix's finger with the tip of his nose, smiling when Felix's finger trailed down and gave his lips a tentative pat. John extended a hand, beckoning Felix over, "In a way, I guess I got into a fight in your honour."

Felix leaned in, shutting out his thoughts as he slid his eyes shut, "That's kinda sexy."

Mewling softly, Felix pushed forward when he felt John's lips on his own. Just like everything else about the Darling brother, his kisses were soft, kind, _perfect_ in ways Felix had never experienced. He could probably live without any other contact for the rest of his life as long as he had John to kiss him goodnight forever.

Michael entered the room again but Felix took hold of John's face, preventing him from breaking the lip lock. His brother said little, chuckling to himself, "I helped you take the day off. You can thank me later," Michael said, shutting the door behind him as he left.

John pulled away first but stayed close, letting them linger in each other's warmth for just a little longer, "Sorry again. Michael is just… _so damn nosy._ Must be a younger brother thing."

Felix shrugged, purposely pulling away to make John miss the proximity, "I guess we have some time now," John was jittering in his seat, excitement bleeding through his usually calm composure, "John?"

"Felix!" John declared, face immediately going red as he took Felix's hands and held them at chest level, "Would you give me the honour of letting me take you out on a date?"

This time, it was Felix's turn to blush, "W-What?" He sputtered out, "A date?" Felix said the word like John was a madman. Confident but still red, John nodded back vigorously, clutching Felix's hands tighter, "I-I-I've never been on…" He trailed off, suddenly realizing how pathetic that sounded given how long he'd been in love.

"It'll be fun. I promise," John said, purposely ignoring Felix's statement, "We've got the entire day."

With John staring at him like a giant, hipster _puppy_ , Felix really couldn't find it in his heart to say no. What else was there to lose anyway? By all definitions, his relationship with Peter was unhealthy and bound to fail. He never had a family outside of the condescending nuns in the orphanage and the Lost Boys always depended on him, never the other way around. This would be the first real, healthy relationship he'd ever have.

Felix cast his doubts aside and nodded, loving the happiness that spread across John's features at the gesture.

 

Despite John's seemingly spontaneous question, it was clear that the Darling brother had been planning this, possibly for a very long time. John wasn't kidding about shopping from before. The first thing he did was bring Felix to a suit store, picking out a nice charcoal suit for him.

"Come on, let me see," John said, a bit too cheerfully, "Felix?" John called out when there was no response.

Felix was far too busy staring at himself in a mirror, confused at the boy looking back at him. He'd never be able to afford a suit like this even with all his savings and it looked foreign and bizarre when fitted to his lanky, rough form. He smoothed out the mad tangles on his head, trying to even them out just a bit so they didn't clash his outfit as much.

A knock came at the change room door, "Are you okay?" John's heart stopped as Felix stepped out dressed in the fine, charcoal suit. The subtle pinstripes along the jacket were a perfect compliment to Felix's body, accentuating his long legs and nimble body, "You look good," John sighed out, slipping out his credit card.

"I wish you told me about this earlier," Felix said, raking his fingers through his messy hair, "I would've cleaned up a bit," John eyed his hair, humming as he cocked his head to the side, "What?"

One hair stylist later, Felix was staring at himself in the mirror completely awestruck. His hair was somehow tamed, straightened and swept back, heavy on his right. He was dressed in finery he never once imagined himself in, let alone could ever afford. The confidence came while he walked beside John as pedestrians glanced at him and _gaped_ at how handsome he was. He never once thought anyone could stare at him with anything more than cold disinterest, hiding in Peter's shadow letting his charisma absorb the attention.

A hand carefully took Felix's, shaking him from his thoughts, "They're staring at me," Felix murmured, trying not to sound unnerved or surprised.

"Of course they are," John cheered, "You're really handsome. You always have been."

Felix snorted, trying to fight the smile on his face, "I wonder what Peter would think," He mumbled absently.

"I bet if Peter saw you now, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you," John immediately regret his words when he felt Felix stiffen under his grasp. He backed off, scolding himself for his words, "Sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that."

Felix was supposed to be happy. This was supposed to be a good day. If that was the case, Felix wouldn't let this get to him and he'd use this to spite Peter later, "No. It's fine," He responded, taking John's hand and smiling, "Let's go see a movie."

The two eventually settled on a _slasher_ flick to Felix's surprise. He figured John was pandering to him but when the Darling brother refused Felix's comfort during a scary scene or flat out laughed at a cheap gore effect, Felix knew that there was just a bit more to John than he thought. It was something he shared with Wendy: Hidden, darker depths under an innocent look. Absently, he wondered what Michael's hidden darkness was outside of harassing his brother about his love life.

When night fell, John brought Felix to the nicest restaurant he could find. He paraded Felix in proudly, loving it when all eyes fell on the Darling brother and his ridiculously handsome date. In contrast to John's confidence, Felix was now the shy one, blushing lightly at the attention and stuttering as he spoke. Felix always felt like the more dominant of the two but for once, he saw John's true self and Felix was once more the submissive aid, a familiar role that he didn't mind holding. It made everything just a tad bit closer to home.

"You didn't have to do this," Felix mumbled, looking out the window of their private room as he toyed with the multiple forks at his side. John knew he had zero practice with dining etiquette so he purposely reserved a private room for them. To have someone do so much for him with little compensation was… odd.

John smiled warmly, "Of course I did. I want you to see that you're special and that you deserve better than what everyone has been offering you."

"Better?" Felix murmured, once again toying with the spoon at his side, "You don't know what I've been through."

"Then let me know," John said, folding his arms in front of him, "I want to know about you, Felix."

"Where do I start?" Felix asked.

"Right from the beginning," John replied, carrying no malice in his voice.

His request accidentally struck a chord within Felix and the boy paled in seconds. His past. Only Peter stuck around after hearing about how fucked up it was. All the other orphans, miserable as they were, immediately put him in a lower caste. Even the nuns were a bit horrified. What would John do?

"Felix?"

Felix once told this story to his Lost Boys. All of them _laughed_ when Felix was clearly unhappy about it. A part of him wondered what John would do, if he'd try to make light of it.

"I was an orphan. Spent my childhood at the Storybrooke Nunnery," Felix started, "They found me when I was a baby…" The lost boys laughing it off, Peter dismissing it, "… _in a public bathroom_ ," He could hear it, the sudden hitch in John's breath and the stillness of his body, "That's why all the kids avoided me. They were all orphans too but I was the one who was found in the trash."

Long ago, when he told Rufio his story, the rowdy boy _laughed,_ making light of the situation. Felix never admit to Rufio how upset that made him. John didn't laugh. John _cared enough not to_.

"Felix…"

"First few years," Felix continued, eyes drifting to the floor, "I just spent most of my time crying in my room. I didn't have any friends till I met Peter."

John blinked, curious but afraid that he had infringed on something important to Felix, "What happened?"

The memory was pleasant, Felix's very first pleasant memory.

 

 _Felix was the only orphan who was given his own room. He brought out the worst in the other orphans and the nuns thought it was best to keep him away from them. It was one of the few things Felix was grateful for. He had his own bed, his own window, his own shelf, he had everything he'd ever wanted. Yet all he did was cry, curled up on his bed and sobbing into his knees. Even if they were only here to scold him on his chores or mock him for being found in the trash, Felix begged for_ anyone _to come through that door and just talk to him. Just anyone…_

_"Are you Felix?"_

_The tiny blond squealed in surprised, scrambling backwards on the bed as he noticed the forest-clothed boy sitting at his window. He'd never seen the boy before in his life yet the boy stared at Felix like he was the only person in the world that mattered._

_Felix swiped at his eyes, desperate to finally have someone to speak to, "Yes."_

_"My name's Peter," Peter said, reaching out and shaking Felix's hand, swinging the boy's narrow arms up and down, "Everyone says they found you in the trash."_

_Felix immediately stiffened, tears already falling from his eyes. He couldn't deny it though so he nodded, pulling his hand away and trying to stop his tears._

_"That settles it. You're going to be my new sidekick!" Peter announced, jovial in tone and too excited over such a tragic story._

_Felix peered up from his hands, confused, "Sidekick?"_

_"You know, my second-in-command, henchman, accomp_ lish _," Peter chimed, jittering on the spot as he listed out Felix's multiple titles, "My new best friend!"_

_A small gasp, "I'm going to be your best friend...?"_

_"That's what I said! I don't like people who make me repeat," Peter replied, pouting playfully but pleased when Felix quickly retracted his remark, "You've got everything I need for a best friend," He explained as if it was the simplest logic in the world._

_For the first time in his life, being found in the trash became a benefit._

_Peter took Felix's hand, giggling as he pulled him towards the window, "Come on! Papa's gonna take us out to eat. Let's go! Let's go!"_

_A million reasons not to leave came out as incoherent babbles as Peter dragged Felix out the window and carefully climbed down the railing with the boy right behind him. It never actually crossed Peter's mind that he was straight-up_ kidnapping _Felix but at the time, he couldn't care. He was too excited to show off his new best friend._

_He slid into the backseat first, grabbing Felix's hand and helping the ridiculously miniature boy into the car before shutting the door behind him. He snapped the seatbelt in place, playfully patting Felix's head when the boy was too confused to react._

_"Is this your new friend?" Malcolm asked, starting the car and driving away from the orphanage._

_"Yep! This is Felix," Peter announced, "And this is Papa."_

_Shyly, Felix took Peter's hand and ducked behind his shoulder as Malcolm looked to him, "Um… hi."_

_"Wow, isn't he a cutie?" Malcolm commented, waving to the small boy before pulling away from the orphanage._

_There was a nice scent coming from Malcolm, something warm and fresh. Several of their caretakers often wore perfume, usually some cheap or dainty brand that smelled like air fresheners or mint. The scent coming from Malcolm was spicier, warmer, and pleasant to Felix's nose._

_His inquiries were distracted when the car shifted gear, a whole new world flashing past him in the window. Peter glanced over to Felix, giggling and twitching with excitement while Felix prodded and poked at everything around him. Cars, the outside, everything was foreign and it was Peter's job to introduce him to the world._

Felix laughed absently at the story, "I don't think Peter even knew that was an orphanage. I think he thought it was a shopping center for friends," John chuckled lightly, greeting the waiters as they served the main course and exited quietly, "Peter really was the world to me back when I was little. I guess he still kind of is."

Felix could see it, just the slightest bit of unhappiness at his seemingly kind story, "I see why Peter means so much to you now," John remarked, taking his knife and cutting into his rack of lamb, "It was a nice story. Thank you for sharing."

Felix smiled back, picking up a fork and digging into his turkey Bolognese, something he would never have considered eating on his own. He froze at the first bite, "This is really good."

"Glad you enjoy it," John responded, "What's your favourite dish? I'll find the best restaurant that serves it."

"Pasta fagioli," Felix answered without a second thought, "I had it with Peter when we were little."

"Hmm, I'll look up some Italian places," John remarked, "Remind me to look for a Wi-Fi hotspot when we get the chance."

One dinner later, the two found themselves in their car outside a 24 hour coffee store leeching off their Wi-Fi. Felix sat half-over the center consul, watching the Darling brother tap at his phone searching for decent Italian food.

"Hm, there's one by the pier," John remarked, "I've been there before. It's not bad."

Felix had passed by it once. He remembered how high the prices were and Peter grumbling about it, "I don't need you to waste money on me."

"I'm not _wasting_ ," John replied, taking Felix's hands once more, "I want to make you happy. And showing you a world you haven't seen before, that makes you happy," John was not wrong. He loved it in the past. He loved it now. Before Felix could reciprocate, John pulled away suddenly, picking up his phone and closing the browser, "Shoot, someone sent me an email a couple hours ago."

Out of sheer curiosity that Felix wish he didn't have, Felix looked down at the phone and _shattered_ at the sight of Peter and Wendy's mock wedding photos, the couple looking so goddamn happy together under flowers and lace. He couldn't even tear his eyes away, _hurting_ so badly.

John shut off his phone, dropping it to the dashboard and immediately raising his hands to comfort Felix, "I'm sorry. That was stupid of me. I shouldn't have checked that."

It wasn't his fault. How could he have known? Felix needed to calm down, needed to play it cool, "It's okay. I'm fine," He tried to distract himself, sorting through his memories trying to figure out what they were talking about before, "What did she want?"

"She wanted me to pick the best one," John clicked his tongue, "Shoot. It's probably too late by now. I hope Michael responded on time," He typed an email back to her, clicking his tongue in disapproval, "If she'd just start texting, she could've sent me the images through a text message. I just don't get why she wants to be old-fashioned about everything."

Felix shrugged lazily. He started the car, pulling away when John finished replying to the email. He went slowly, his mind far too distracted to go any faster. John didn't mind but he could tell something was wrong from Felix's tense form.

"They look cute together," Felix commented quietly, eyes half-lidded as he slowed to a stop for a red-light, "I would've went with the third photo," John was quiet, staring at Felix but unable to properly read his expression under the shadows of the streetlight, "Wendy will make Peter really happy. I know it," It's all Felix ever wanted: Peter's happiness.

John swallowed harshly, loud enough for Felix to hear him. For just a brief moment, Felix glanced over to the Darling brother and noticed the slightest _fury_ in him. He bit down on his lip, knowing that he'd soured the mood by talking about Peter. He was supposed to be moving on from him.

"I'm sorry. I'll stop talking about Peter," Felix murmured, "That was… inconsiderate of me," Felix felt like he apologized a lot around John despite Peter once swearing that 'lost boys should never apologize'.

Slowly so he wouldn't scare him, John placed his hand over Felix's on the wheel, "Peter doesn't deserve a friend like you. You're loyal and dedicated and willing to put aside yourself for his sake. You deserve so much better."

"Don't say that," Felix mumbled, "Why do you hate Peter so much?" It was something he noticed but never brought up, vainly thinking that it was because of John's affection for him.

John stared at Felix, confused, like Felix was a fool, "He doesn't love my sister. He's using her."

"W-What?" Felix gasped out, car swerving just slightly on the road, "Were you talking to Malcolm?"

"No, of course not. I despise that scoundrel," John nearly snapped, purposely restraining himself so he wouldn't scare Felix off, "Wendy's always singing Peter's praises but I know he's just _using_ my sister. I never told you because I didn't want it spreading around but, the way you praise him, you sound just like Wendy."

Felix was shaking his head. This was the second person who's claimed this. At least with Malcolm, Felix could suspect him of twisting his words to manipulate Felix but with _John_ , he had no reason to lie, "You're wrong," Felix replied dumbly, turning haphazardly at an intersection, "He's given up a lot for her. He disbanded the Lost Boys, he worked hard to get into college, h-he stopped playing around."

" _Oh Felix_ ," John sighed in a way that made Felix want to crumble, "You really don't see how bad he is, do you?" _Peter's a good person!_ "Everything he's done is just a part of his _game_. As long as it benefits him, he'll do it."

Felix stopped the car, parking it and glaring at John, "You don't know him!" He snarled.

John shook his head, trying so hard to keep his expression soft, "How are you so blind? Why do you excuse everything he's done to you?"

"He had no reason to take care of me when we were little but he did it anyway. Without him, I'd just be this lonely, miserable brat who probably would've killed himself in a few years," The fond memory of Peter at his window, beckoning him out for games, "I told you how we met. Peter saved me."

A pause before the air in the car chilled, "He chose you because he wanted to use you."

Felix was shaking his head once more. Words stuttering out from his mouth.

"Think, Felix," John said, brows furrowed and teeth nearly clenched, "He picked the loneliest, most unloved orphan to be his best friend because he'd be the easiest one to manipulate. That's what he meant by 'back-story'. How could you not see that?"

_"He wants all of your affection, none of the work."_

John knew he was foolish for thinking that Felix would just accept all his words, see the light and tear away from Peter's influence. Instead, the boy shut down, hands gripping the wheel and eyes unfocused through the window. Peter was his best friend, _his hero_ , and if Malcolm was right, Peter loved him too. But Malcolm said something else, said that Peter may love him but he's still selfish. Peter's love _wasn't worth it_ was what the scoundrel was trying to say. And now, John was saying the same thing.

John slipped out from his seatbelt and embraced Felix, clutching the blonde close to his chest, "I didn't mean to blow up like that. Forget everything I said, alright? We can discuss this another time."

"… _That can't be true,"_ Felix whispered, " _I gave everything for him,_ " Yet, Peter never gave anything back. On the contrary, Peter blamed Felix for giving everything up, called him foolish. That awful night coupled with John's words and Malcolm's warnings were painting a wretched picture of him as the idiot friend who was being played since the beginning.

"You're wrong!" Felix shouted, shutting his eyes tightly. It was wrong to doubt his beloved leader. Peter saved him. Peter protected him. He was just repaying Peter for his kindness. On the contrary, it was wrong of him to _doubt_ Peter. It was wrong of him to want his own happiness over Peter's especially given everything Pan had done for him. Everything was _wrong_.

Felix wanted to shout but found himself silenced by a John's lips pressed gently against his. The Darling brother pulled Felix closer, holding him tightly till Felix thought his spine would snap. His mind was a whirlwind right now, whipping his emotions and thoughts into an endless, torrential storm that shook him right down to his core. John could feel it so he held him tighter, keeping hold of him so he wouldn't be tossed away by the wind.

"Felix," John murmured, resting his chin on Felix's shoulder, "There's a difference between someone who cares for you because they love you," He pressed a cheek into his, taking in a gentle breath, "And someone who cares for you because they want you to love _them_."

When Felix couldn't respond, John released him and backed off. He opened the car door, one foot outside before looking back, "I'll walk back to the manor myself. Felix, I want to see you again tomorrow, okay?"

It took a while before Felix nodded back. He didn't say anything, merely sitting in his car watching John round the corner and disappear. He wasn't exactly sure if he was relieved to hear that Peter didn't love Wendy. It gave him false hope: _If Peter didn't love Wendy, then maybe he loves me?_ John didn't say that but Malcolm _did_.

Malcolm was there when Peter first selected him as his best friend. Malcolm and Peter, they really were very similar despite Peter's protests.

He halted his thoughts when he realized that he had spent the entire day with John, the Darling brother going out of his way to take him out on a date, buy him nice things, and dine on good food, only for Felix to think of _Peter_. Felix buried his face in his palms, groaning, unable to _stop thinking about him_.

By the time he'd reached his apartment room, he'd taken off his jacket and undid the tie knowing that he'd never be able to tie it back. It was strung up on his neck, both ends lightly flapping as he moved. He kept the jacket draped over his arm, careful not to wrinkle it anymore than he already had. He sighed heavily as he stroked a hand through his hair, John warned him that the moment he began washing, all of his untameable curls would be back. He chuckled, wondering how John knew about that. Perhaps he shared Wendy's natural curly hair and spent every morning straightening it out.

Felix entered his apartment, hanging up the suit jacket on the back of the door. He yawned loudly, stretching his arms into the air as he approached his bed. He hadn't even bothered to turn on the lights knowing that he'd just collapse onto the bed and fall asleep right away dreading for tomorrow. Out of pure habit, Felix whipped out his phone to check his text messages, biting his lip when Peter's thread had exploded after they met in the restaurant. He nearly opened it till a palm smothered his mouth and a strong arm coiled around his torso.

"What took you so long, love?" Malcolm chimed, compressing Felix against his body when the lanky boy fought, "I _missed_ you so much. I just couldn't stand it."

Felix's objections were promptly muffled by the hand against his face. He thrashed in Malcolm's grasp, kicking the man _hard_ between the legs to break away, scrambling over a stool as he backed off into a wall, "What the hell are you doing in here?!"

The older man was hunched over, clutching at his groin, "Oof. That's a low blow. Thought you'd be above that," Malcolm let out another pained yelp as Felix swiftly delivered another kick to his crotch, smashing both his hand and his privates at once, "You're so mean to me, love," He choked out, nearly collapsing to the floor.

Growling, Felix rushed over to the door and checked his lock, rattling the knob to see if the man might've damaged it to break in. When he found nothing out of the ordinary, he returned to where Malcolm was on the ground and dragged him up by his collar.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Felix growled.

Malcolm gave Felix a smug but airy smile, still reeling from the aftershocks of Felix's attack, "I made a duplicate of the key you gave Peter."

"Give it to me."

"You'll have to frisk me for it," Malcolm said, smiling coyly and quirking a brow.

If Felix had the energy, he would've swiftly kicked Malcolm between the legs again, hoping to pop _something_ under his foot to show that he meant business. Instead, he flopped onto the bed, sighing heavily. Malcolm sat up slowly when Felix didn't react, probing the boy cautiously with his eyes, "I don't like your new look. Doesn't suit you."

"It was John's present," Felix replied, absently taking off the belt and tossing it to the floor, "We were on a date," He tried to sound like he was bragging but knew he sounded a bit pathetic.

Malcolm snorted in reply, dusting himself off as he sat down by the corner of the bed, " _A date_. That Darling boy doesn't suit you."

Felix promptly shoved Malcolm off his bed, "And you do?"

From the ground, Malcolm chuckled darkly as he slowly rose, smirking as he lay his chin and arm onto the edge of the bed, "I never said that."

"You said you loved me," Felix remarked absently, letting his tie slip to the ground. He cringed when he felt Malcolm climb onto the bed, the extra weight causing the mattress to dip.

Malcolm crawled over to Felix, a small but intrigued smile on his face, "Since when?"

Odd, Felix couldn't recall but he was so sure he'd heard those words from Malcolm before. He shrugged in response, biting on his lip trying to figure out where he heard that from. Felix hadn't even noticed how close Malcolm had gotten till his breath was on his cheek. He flinched at the feel, twisting away and scuttling back till he promptly fell off the bed.

"Clumsy, clumsy," Malcolm commented, laughing lightly as Felix glared at him from the floor, "You're messing up your pretty clothing," He said, bunching up a pair of pajama bottoms and a loose top before throwing them at his face, "Change into something more comfortable and easier to remove."

Rolling his eyes but obliging, Felix took the bundle of sleepwear and entered the bathroom, shutting it behind him as he unbuttoned his top. He caught a glance of himself in the mirror as he undressed, noting his hair was still sculpted perfectly when the dresser had done it. Before, Felix was awestruck at how different he could look. Now, Felix was just staring at a stranger. Malcolm was right; this was not him. _John Darling was not for him._

With his pajama bottom halfway up his legs, Felix's attention immediately landed on the door. Malcolm had been silent the entire time, an oddity for the older man especially since the walls were so thin meaning Felix would be able to hear him perfectly from the bathroom. He rolled the shirt over his torso, merely shucking his finery to the side as he approached the door cautiously with a shampoo bottle in hand. In a simultaneous movement, Felix opened the door and hurled the bottle out, successfully clocking Malcolm right in the head.

Malcolm howled from where he stood, stumbling back into Felix's shoe rack and knocking off a picture frame on the wall, "Ouch! How'd you know I was there?" He groaned, rubbing at the bump on the side of his head.

Felix folded his arms, retrieving his shampoo bottle and picking up his discarded clothes, folding it slowly while his eyes remained pinned on Malcolm, "Your obsession with feeling me up in bathrooms is a bit annoying."

"It was only two bathrooms," Malcolm corrected, brushing himself off as he stood, "If you'd prefer I feel you up elsewhere, you need only ask," He winked when Felix rolled his eyes, reaching out to slap his ass when Felix walked passed him. At the contact, Felix's breath hitched and he threw a glare at Malcolm over his shoulder. As usual, Malcolm smiled back, "I missed you a lot," He reached over to embrace him, fully expecting Felix to rebuff him. He was shocked as Felix walked right past him, nudging at his shoulder before collapsing onto the bed, laying on his stomach while staring at the wall.

"Go away," Felix whispered, "I'm not in the mood," He seethed as Malcolm flopped onto the bed beside him, pressing up right against his back. Really, Felix fully expected this from the scoundrel.

Malcolm coiled his arms around Felix, spooning him from behind as he kissed the top of his head, "What did my son do this time?"

The feel of Malcolm's body against his was always _too comforting_ , warmer and kinder than any other man's touch, even _John's._ It was an absolute contradiction to Malcolm's true nature, an utter sleaze of a man.

"He didn't do anything," Felix replied, taking in a deep breath to find that same cologne on Malcolm's body once more, "It was John."

"Did he hurt you? Want me to punch him in the face for you?" Malcolm joked, giggling into Felix's hair while tightening his hold on the boy possessively. The innocence of one action and the sinful intent of the other were driving Felix nuts, "What did he say? Tell me."

"He said…" He didn't want to admit that John repeated everything Malcolm said. The scoundrel could probably already tell, "He said there's a difference between caring for someone because they love you and caring for someone because they want you to love them."

Malcolm hummed at the statement, "And you think that's the situation with you and Peter?"

"Isn't it?" Felix murmured, "Both of you said he just wants my affection but doesn't want to work for it," If this was what Peter considered 'love' then Felix wasn't sure how to feel about it. He knew it was selfish but he wanted Peter to give things up for him, choose Felix over a better life, that way he'd know it was definitely _love_.

A second hum came from Malcolm. The older man rested his chin on the top of his golden locks, "How about we change our deal then? Instead of just having Peter confess that he loves you, he'll also break off his engagement with Wendy for you."

"Y-You can do that?"

" _Yes_ , anything for you," Malcolm sighed, hugging tighter and squeezing Felix against his body, "And in exchange, _I want you on a leash_."

Felix flinched, stiffening in his arms, "What?"

Malcolm snickered at Felix's sudden reaction, "Not literally. At least, not now. I let you have your freedom for the most part with our previous deal. But until this deal is complete, as you can understand how complicated it is, I want you as my bitch."

Felix was shaking his head before he could even speak, " _Fuck you_ ," He hissed.

"It's not completely for my pleasure," Malcolm remarked, smacking Felix's head playfully as if he were scolding him, "If you really want Peter, you need to make him sick with jealousy, make him _fume_. And you just can't do that with John Darling no matter how many expensive dates he brings you on because Peter can tell that you don't love him."

 _John…_ He wished the Darling brother was more than just a means to an end for him, wished he could've shown the same respect and kindness John had shown him. Any thoughts of redeeming his relationship with John were dashed as Malcolm's voice polluted his thoughts, his dark and spicy scent driving him mad. He wanted Peter so much _more_.

"And same prize as before: If I succeed, I get your virginity."

" _Deal._ I accept your terms," Felix murmured. His breath hitched as Malcolm's hand slid down his torso, cupping him from the outside. Instinctively, Felix's hand shot down to remove him.

Malcolm clicked his tongue at the motion, "Ah, ah, ah, we agreed. _You're my bitch_."

A low growl rumbled in the back of Felix's throat but he pulled away. It had been a stressful night so he really couldn't find any reason _not_ to seek comfort from Malcolm. He pushed back on the scoundrel, letting his back lie flush against his chest while Malcolm palmed him through his sleepwear. Chuckling amusedly, Malcolm slipped a hand past the elastic and began palming Felix's cock directly, the thin layer of cloth no longer dulling the sensation. Felix whined at the touch, sliding his eyes shut as Malcolm pleasured him nice and slow.

"Do you remember when we used to sleep in bed like this?" Malcolm murmured, "I'd pick you up early so you wouldn't be at that wretched orphanage. You'd tire yourself out playing while Peter was at preschool so I let you sleep on my bed. And I'd hold you just like this," Felix hummed back, seeming to remember Malcolm's story, "Minus, of course, my hand in your pants. But you'd sleep at my side for hours."

"You were warm," Felix muttered dreamily, bucking just a bit into Malcolm's insistent hand, "Warmer than the cold sheets at the orphanage."

Malcolm narrowed his eyes, "You remember?"

Felix nodded, the gentle pleasure and Malcolm's welcoming presence slowly putting him to sleep, "Yeah," He said, voice breathy and light, "I'd always be so tired because I played through naptime. You'd carry me up," He whined for just a moment, a shot of pleasure riding up his body as Malcolm thumbed at his foreskin, "Wrap me in your jacket, and sleep beside me."

Malcolm's hand became more vigorous, empowered by Felix's breathy please. His own breathing became heavy, his lap getting hot as Felix slowly climbed to his orgasm, "You used to say something to me before you fell asleep. Do you remember?"

"Mm-hmm," Felix murmured, each breath coming out a whine as Malcolm stroked him faster and harder.

The scoundrel moaned into his hair, mouthing at Felix's ear as he continued jerking him off as gently and sweetly as he could, "Say it, Felix. _Tell me_."

A throaty, saucy moan slipped from Felix's lips, sounds long and low as Malcolm dragged out his orgasm. Unlike all the time before, Malcolm went slowly, taking his time to build Felix up to his orgasm unlike all those times before when he just wanted to get the boy off. He wanted Felix to _enjoy_ this one, savour it like a fine dish. Judging from his voice and his lack of fight, Malcolm knew he was succeeding.

"Please say it. _Please_ ," Malcolm moaned, nibbling at the shell of Felix's ear.

Felix took a deep breath, humming as he came, splattering all over the inside of his pajama bottoms and Malcolm's hand. He didn't speak, everything coming out in incoherent mumbles as Felix's eyes drifted shut. He fell asleep to the afterglow of his orgasm. In every other time, Felix was always jumpy after his climax as if energy had been forced on him. Lying on his bed with Malcolm working him slow and deliberately, his afterglow was mellow and soothing, letting Felix doze right off to it.

Malcolm clicked his tongue in regret but didn't release him. He wiped his hand off on the inside of Felix's thigh before shutting his own eyes.

Like a moth to the flame, Felix was drawn to the scoundrel. A malevolent, sickly-hued flame twisting in the air, drawing in a feeble moth and claiming its form by turning it to ash.

 

_"Papa! Can Felix sleep over?" Peter asked, bouncing up and down while holding Felix's hand._

_Malcolm looked over to them from the couch, remote in hand. His eyes fell onto Felix first, noticing how excited the boy looked before turning to his son, "Sure. I can set up a bed for him in your room."_

_"We don't need that. My bed is big enough," Peter said, giggling as he ruffled Felix's hair, "Right Felix?"_

_At the contact, Felix immediately smiled and he chirped, "Yes Peter!"_

_The lights were out earlier than they'd ever been. Peter was too excited about the sleepover and promptly shut out the lights after constructing a pillow fort on his bed. He snuck in snacks, flashlights, anything he could think of to wow Felix, and proceeded with ghost stories and games._

_"What does it do to you?" Felix whimpered, ducking under a blanket._

_"It rips your shadow from your body," Peter cackled, twiddling his fingers in the air with his flashlight pointed at Felix, his shadow trembling on the sheets, "Riiip!" He mimicked the action of tearing with his hands._

_Felix squealed loudly, covering his head, "Does it hurt?"_

_"Oh, it does!" Peter shouted, getting up on his knees ready to pounce on Felix, "Let me show you!"_

_Felix squealed with laughter as Peter tackled him into the pillows, tickling him relentlessly, "Papa!" Felix pleaded, instantly making Peter stop._

_Picking Felix up on his lap and holding him against his chest, Peter looked down at Felix curiously, "Papa? You mean my papa?" Felix really was miniature in size, feeling like a stuffed animal on his lap rather than a boy his age._

_Felix slapped a hand over his mouth, flailing lightly in Peter's arms, "I'm sorry Peter. You call him Papa all the time."_

_Peter clearly wasn't happy about this but he didn't have the heart to reject Felix. Instead, he pat the boy's head, ruffling his hair gently, "Peter?" Malcolm's voice called from the outside. Peter stuck his head out from the fort, pushing the pillow down so Felix could also pop his head out._

_"Yes, Papa?" Peter replied._

_Malcolm peered in, chuckling when he saw Felix uncomfortably tucked between Peter's head and the pillow, "It's getting late. You should go to sleep."_

_Peter grumbled, resting his pouty chin on Felix's head, "But Felix doesn't want to. Right Felix?"_

_Fighting the urge to yawn at the mention of sleep, Felix nodded as much as he could, "Yes, Peter."_

_Chuckling, Malcolm entered the room and fished them out from the pillow fort, "Come on, Peter. Its past your curfew," Protesting but ultimately giving in, Peter stretched out across the bed waiting for his father to tuck them in. Felix lay beside him, a beacon of warmth under the sheets. The soft cotton was also much nicer than the cheap sheets he was provided at the orphanage, able to retain heat so he didn't need to curl up._

_Despite Peter constantly prodding his friend and prattling on, Felix eventually dozed off and Peter followed, unconsciously tucking Felix into his grasp like a toy. This was the first time Felix slept outside of the orphanage and the best night he'd had in his life._

_Felix rubbed at his eyes tiredly as he sat up, mumbling to himself as he poked at Peter's cheek , "Hungry," He mumbled, shaking Peter and trying to wake him, "Peter. I'm hungry," The boy was fast asleep. Sighing, Felix slipped out from the bed and wandered into the hall. Maybe there'd be something left behind in the kitchen for him to eat._

_Slowly heading down the stairs, Felix froze at the sound of_ soft sobbing _coming from the kitchen. He approached it silently guided only by the faint glow of a streetlight a while down the road. Malcolm was at the table, slumped over the top, clutching a bottle in his hands. From afar, Felix could see his back shuddering._

_"Pa-" Felix covered his mouth, "Mm. Mr. Pan?" He called out, approaching the slouched man. Immediately, a bitter smell struck his nose and caused him to reel back, "Mr. Pan, are you okay?"_

_A grumble that sounded like a growl came from the older man. He turned from where he sat, placing the bottle clumsily on the table, "Go away, Peter. I don't have the time for you."_

_Felix wandered closer, "It's Felix," He murmured, reaching forward and pulling on Malcolm's shirt, "Are you okay?" When Malcolm took another swig from his bottle before slumping back against the desk, Felix grabbed onto his shirt with both hands and began to pull, "You should sleep."_

_When Malcolm didn't budge, Felix already felt a heaviness at his eyes, hot tears leaving trails down his cheeks. His sniffling immediately caught Malcolm's attention, causing the man to sit up and watch the small, crying boy, "Why are you crying?"_

_"Because you're sad," Felix replied, wiping at his eyes, "I don't want you to be sad."_

_Malcolm didn't move. The darkness shrouding his expression, "Why?" He asked, voice steadier._

_Why? Wasn't it obvious? It's because of him and Peter that he had a life. Malcolm was as much a hero to him as Peter was. Still clinging to him, Felix declared, "Because I love you."_

_A gentle hand brushed his cheek, gliding down to his chin and settling to his shoulder. Before Felix could inquire, Malcolm picked the boy up and held him close, crushing him against his body, "I love you too," Malcolm whispered._

_Malcolm was always a bit distant to Felix, staying at the periphery whenever Felix was with Peter. He knew Peter's mood often soured around his father and he'd end up throwing around food or breaking things at the slightest trigger. Without Peter around, Felix was able to speak to Malcolm without fear of angering his best friend._

_A growl in Felix's stomach interrupted their hug. Embarrassed, Felix covered his face with his hands as Malcolm chuckled and stood up slowly, holding Felix with one arm, "Let's get you something to eat."_

_Wiping up his eyes, Felix snacked on a quick meal of cookies and warm milk before he began to doze off again. He cooed as Malcolm lifted him into his arms once more, carrying him up the stairs not to Peter's room but to_ his ownroom. _He lay the boy down on the auburn sheets, picking up his jacket from the desk and coiling it around Felix's form before curling up beside him._

 

_The next day, Peter wouldn't speak to him at all._


	5. Lost and Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Questionable material near the end

Blinking awake, Felix slowly opened his eyes. He immediately noted the sunlight piercing through the windows. He'd slept in again. His eyes glanced over to the calendar on the wall. He had to work at The Rabbit Hole today which meant there'd be a window of time for Peter to come see him.

Felix barely noticed the arm clutching around his waist and the gentle snoring behind him. _Malcolm was still here!_ Curled up around him sleeping with Felix in his arms like a lover. Notably, this was the second night in a row where Felix had a man sleeping in bed with him. Growling, Felix nearly punched Malcolm in the face till he remembered what had transpired last night: They made a new deal and now Felix had to do everything he said.

Shutting his eyes and sliding back down into Malcolm's grasp, Felix wished Peter didn't mean so much to him. He picked up his phone, flipping it open and finally checking all the messages Peter had sent him.

_'Felix. Let's talk. Come to Granny's for lunch.'_

_'are you going to be at grannys?'_

_'Call me when you can. I want to talk'_

_'Stop ignoring me. I know youre with john'_

_'Lets have breakfast tomorrow. Okay?'_

_'If you don't respond. Im coming over.'_

_'Felix. Im worried about you.'_

Felix shut his phone, tossing it aside lazily. He wondered if he should give John a call. The Darling brother had asked him to. Shoving Malcolm's hands off him and sliding onto the bed, Felix made his way to the bathroom only to trip over a paper bag on the ground.

He grumbled, looking back to see a large paper bag filled with clothes. Humming with inquiry, Felix sorted through the bag noting that Malcolm had cleaned and returned the clothes he had left behind a few days ago. For a moment, he considered thanking the scoundrel till he noticed one thing missing: _His boxer shorts._

"… you sick, twisted fuck!" Felix barked, hurling the bag of clothes at Malcolm's head.

Startled awake, Malcolm gave an unmanly yelp as he rolled onto his back, flailing around as Felix delivered several punches to him, "Ow! Hey! I didn't do anything!"

Picking up his tossed clothing, Felix shook the bundle in front of Malcolm as he dragged the man up by his collar, "Where is it?" He asked.

Almost immediately, Malcolm knew what he was talking about but he played dumb instead, smiling innocently, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

" _My boxer shorts_ ," Felix growled, "Where are they? Did you keep them as a souvenir?"

"Did I?" Malcolm replied.

Nearly turning purple, Felix released Malcolm and stormed away, heading straight to the bathroom to start his waking routine. He started the sink, brushing his teeth lazily with the last bit of toothpaste he had left. Malcolm remained on the bed, most likely waiting for Felix to start another fight with him. There was no reasoning with the scoundrel and an argument with him would probably end with Malcolm pinning him to the bed and jerking him off.

Felix's brow quirked at the thought and he gave an appreciative hum.

Distracting himself, Felix took a quick shower knowing that the scoundrel could sneak in any moment while his curtain was drawn and the shower was running. His combed his fingers through his hair, noting how the straightened hair immediately turned to his trademark, untameable curls when soaked with water. Pulling his hair back, with a towel around his waist, Felix redressed himself in his pajamas and started on drying his hair, wiping away the condensation on the mirror.

His heart jumped to his throat when Malcolm seemingly _materialized out of nowhere_ and leapt at Felix from behind, latching onto his back and smothering him with a loving hug, "Mm. What's taking so long in the bathroom? I missed you!" His hands quickly glided down Felix's stomach, toying at the edge of the elastic, "Want me to take care of that morning stiffy?" He sputtered and fell back as Felix threw a cup of water at his face.

" _Every time in a bathroom_ ," Felix shouted, whipping around to glare at Malcolm, "What is wrong with you?"

"Twice in a bathroom," Malcolm replied, grabbing a towel off the rack and wiping down his face, "And this was just a good opportunity!" Felix's breaths came out as snarls, eyes manic, and nostrils flared. Judging the situation and calculating his response, Malcolm promptly replied with the utmost confidence, "How about just a kiss then?"

A sigh before a short laugh. Felix grabbed a toothbrush from his cupboard and stuffed it into Malcolm's hands, "Clean up first and then we'll talk," He shut the door behind him as he stepped into the hallway, combing his fingers through his hair trying to straighten up the sticky locks. He picked up the photo frame that had fallen last night when Malcolm fell against the wall. It was one of him, Rufio, and Peter at gas station during a very impromptu Lost Boys road trip. He sighed heavily, running a thumb over the photo and wondering what happened to him.

Felix hung the photo up and nearly returned to bed till he heard his doorknob rattling. His stomach lurched at the sound, only one other person had a key to his place.

 _Peter!_ Felix screamed in his mind, eyeing both the front door and the bathroom door at the same time. He rushed forward, trembling as he unlocked the door and opened a crack, "Peter!" Felix nearly shouted, looking a bit too panicked.

Peter stared back at him, eyes narrow and curious, "You look a bit jumpy."

"I-I-…" No excuses could come out.

"It's alright. I'm not here to yell at you," Peter said, "I'm not angry at you."

Against everything John and Malcolm had told him, Felix was _overjoyed_ that Peter wasn't angry at him. He winced at the idea that John planted in his head that Peter had groomed him into feeling like this. With his eyes averted in a quiet, docile voice, Felix replied, "I'm still angry," Peter was quiet, staring at him with sadness that Felix had never seen before, "You should-" Felix cut himself off, eyes growing wide as he felt a hot breath on his neck, hands scoured his back under his shirt, drifting _down_. His legs trembled at the contact and he begged for the horror not to show on his face.

Peter kept his eyes on Felix, his expression soft and distant at the same time, "You're working at The Rabbit Hole tonight, right? Let's talk there."

Before Felix could nod, Malcolm took a handful of his hair from behind restraining his head, "No, _let's talk now_ ," Malcolm whispered into Felix's ear, lapping at the earlobe with his tongue.

Shivering involuntarily, Felix quickly blurted out, "Let's talk now," He planted his left hand against the door when he felt Peter shove at it, trying to come in, "Here. Let's talk here."

Peter narrowed his eyes. He knew something was wrong but he couldn't tell just yet. He looked past Felix's shoulder, eyeing the bed and turning away when seeing no one there, "Alright. So, where were we before?" Peter watched Felix shy away, not knowing that he was actually trying to fight Malcolm back with his shoulder, his left hand trapped with holding the door against Peter's entrance, "You're still angry at me because I knew how you felt all this time."

Felix nodded, biting down his lip when he felt Malcolm's hand slide down his pants, cupping his ass and kneading at it, "Why didn't you say anything?" Felix's breathing became harsh as Malcolm's fingers began to slip down further, cupping the swell of his ass intimately, lightly teasing his cleft with his pinky finger

"I didn't want to ruin what we already had," Peter replied.

"So it was alright to let me feel that way the whole time?" Felix shouted, his emotions suddenly running rampant the more Malcolm fondled with his body. His fingers were tracing his cleft, gliding up and down as his other hand groped at Felix's chest, "If you told me right from the start, I could've chosen someone else," He kept himself exclusive to Pan hoping that one day Peter would finally be his, and now it was far too late to reconcile with anyone.

Peter narrowed his eyes, "No you wouldn't have."

John's words, John's ideas, filled his mind before he even voice his own opinion, "Because you groomed me into feeling this way."

There was a hitch in Malcolm's motions, his mouth gaping just a bit in surprise. His reaction was mirrored in Pan's, brows knitted together and mouth slightly open, " _Grooming_ you. Who told you that?"

Felix swallowed, twitching when he felt Malcolm's hands move again, continually probing at the cleft of his ass while the other was tugging at the blond rabbit trail peeking out from his pants, "John did."

Peter sputtered, "What the hell does he know?"

Felix could feel the devilish smirk stretching across Malcolm's face. He jolted when he felt a finger press _just_ inside him, barely penetrating but threatening to, "Ask him about Wendy," Malcolm whispered, flexing the offending finger and lapping at Felix's ear.

A pathetic whine slipped from Felix's clenched teeth. It felt like Malcolm was blackmailing him with his virginity, threatening to rob it with just a finger if he didn't speak up, "J-John knows plenty," Peter switched to a glare, condemning the eldest Darling brother, "He said you're _using Wendy_ just like how you _used me_."

Peter was stunned and Felix could tell he had something to say. However, his eyes kept darting past Felix's shoulders, knowing that someone else was here. He swallowed harshly, forcing a smile on his face as he spoke, "That's ridiculous. Of course I love her," He said without a care for how Felix winced at the words, "You're honestly letting John influence your thoughts. I thought I taught you better than that."

Felix could feel Peter pushing at the door, trying harder to get in. He knew someone was there. Felix blinked, staring straight into Peter's eyes and realizing that he was putting on a show. Malcolm could feel Peter pushing against the door as well and he smirked, pressing himself right up against his body as he spoke, " _He's lying_ ," Malcolm confirmed before pressing his finger inside of Felix to the second joint.

Stiffening, Felix yelped and trembled violently, hanging his head shamefully as all strength left his body. Worried for his friend and angered by the eavesdropper, Peter used all his strength and shoved open the door, "Who the hell is in-" He froze, eyes wide as Malcolm smiled back at him, hands no longer down Felix's pants but wrapped around his waist, pulling him back from the slamming door.

"Been a long time, laddie," Malcolm greeted, giggling as he nuzzled Felix's neck, "You were always such a meanie to Felix, never letting him have a say and pushing him around when he didn't agree. Now you're just flat out _lying_ to him?"

" _Let him go_ ," Peter growled, sounding _inhuman._

Malcolm didn't back away, smirking wider as he nudged at Felix's cheek, "Give me a kiss," He commanded.

This was part of their deal. This would get Felix his happy ending. Shutting his eyes so he could tear away from Peter's gaze, Felix took Malcolm by the face and pressed a kiss to his lips. He meant for it to be chaste only for the older man to latch onto Felix's body with an iron grip and plunge his tongue deep within his mouth, nearly gagging him with it.

 _Think of Peter. Think of Peter. Think of Peter._ Felix pleaded in his mind as Malcolm thoroughly violated his mouth. His hands came around Malcolm slowly, resting on behind his neck and the other at his back, pressing him closer.

" _Stop touching him!_ " Peter roared, lunging forward with an intent to _kill_ his father

"Peter?" Wendy's voice cut through Peter's command. Immediately, Peter stopped, turning back to Wendy and swallowing all his rage. Malcolm, however, didn't pull away and continued kissing Felix's passionately, coaxing the boy into returning the gesture. Wendy gaped at the sight of them, "W-What is going on in here?"

 _Knees buckling_ at Malcolm's insistent, experienced touch, Felix fell into Malcolm's arms with an absolutely blissful expression, mind _blown_. He groaned when Malcolm lapped up a string of saliva that connected them, unconsciously climbing up his body following the man's lips. Malcolm smiled down at him, brow raised as he licked his lips, "Satisfied?"

Before he could answer, Peter grabbed Felix by the arm and tore him away, letting the lanky boy crumple on the floor before dragging him along forcing him to stumble to his feet. He bent down, picking up a random set of clothing, and tossing it over his shoulders as he dragged Felix out of the apartment in nothing but his pajamas. Wendy watched on in horror, glancing over to Malcolm in surprise before running after Peter.

When they reached Michael's car parked at the curb, Wendy promptly took the front seat knowing that Peter would probably force Felix into the backseat. As she expected, Peter threw Felix inside along with his clothes before sliding in himself.

"Oh, hey Felix, how's it-" Michael instantly shut up when Felix scrambled to the opposite door only for Peter to pull him back and restrain him on the seats, "…uh," The image certainly got worse when Peter withdrew a tie from the bundle of clothes he had picked up and began _tying Felix's wrists together_ , "UHH…"

Wendy watched through the mirror, "Oh my god, Peter, let him go!" She screamed. Never had she seen this side of Peter before, wrestling Felix down _violently_ and forcibly restraining him.

"I can't let him go back to my father," Peter replied in a still grumbling tone. He remained perched on Felix, pinning him down with his weight while Felix glared at him from the seats wrestling at the tie around his wrists, "I'll untie him when we're far enough. Now drive."

Michael took a deep breath, trying to distract himself by whistling as he pulled off the curb and drove off, "Is this a kidnapping? I'm pretty sure this is a kidnapping."

"I'm going to untie you now," Peter said to Felix, sweeping his hair back when it fell into his eyes, "Only if you promise not to try to escape, alright?"

"Okay, this is _definitely_ a kidnapping," Michael added before getting shushed by Wendy.

Peter undid the tie, sliding off of Felix and letting the blond sit back up. The anger brewing in his eyes and coming off his body as violent tremors caused the air itself to thicken with heat. Everyone in the car fully expected Felix to throw a punch at Peter, wrestle him to the floor, scream at him till his voice broke. Instead, Felix did nothing, swallowing his feelings as he always did for Peter.

He passed Felix his clothing, the lanky boy silent acknowledging him as he pulled off his pajama bottoms and slid the jeans up his legs, stretching over Peter accidentally. Michael flipped his mirror up temporarily, looking over to Wendy, "Could you imagine how John would look right now?"

"Michael, that's really not appropriate right now."

Ignoring the prattle of the Darlings, Felix pulled the sweater over his shirt, pausing as he bunched the sweater over his head. These were the clothes Malcolm had washed and returned, spraying a generous amount of his cologne all over the inside of his sweater as a reminder. Felix groaned, knowing that he'd have to spend the day smelling just like Malcolm.

Absently, Felix rubbed at his wrists feeling the slightest raw mark forming. He shuddered when Peter took his hand, trying to massage the stinging flesh, "Here. I got you," Peter said softly, "I'm sorry I was so rough. I just needed to get you away from my father."

It took all of Felix's strength to pull away from Peter's hands knowing that Wendy was glaring at him from the mirror. He tucked his hands into the center pocket and stopped when he realized there was something stuffed inside. He retrieved it, pulling out _his boxer shorts_ cleaned, pressed, and tucked away inside his sweater. A blush immediately spread across his face when he remembered how he attacked Malcolm over said boxer shorts.

"So, now that everyone's settled in," Michael announced, "We're going cake tasting. Sounds good?"

 

"Welcome to The Storybrooke Bakery. I'm Nick Ramos, chief baker," The baker greeted, shaking Wendy's hand and then Peter's, "Ah, so you must be Wendy Darling and Peter Pan and…" Nick looked to Felix, "Michael Darling?"

"No, Michael's in the car," Wendy explained. The middle Darling sibling smartly decided to wait in the car, avoiding the inevitable explosion of three competing egos, "This is Felix. He's going to help us with cake testing."

Nick lifted a hand to greet him, "Nice to meet you, Felix," Felix promptly wandered away, arms folded in his sweater pocket with his hood pulled almost over his face, "Um, alright then. I've got some samples for you," Even more puzzling, when he walked over to the counter, Wendy followed him but her fiancé flew to Felix's side. Nick narrowed his eyes, humming in contemplation before taking out a plate of samples from the fridge.

Felix was searching through his pockets by the far counter, clicking his tongue when he realized that Peter didn't take his phone, wallet, or _keys_ with him, effectively stranding him in Storybrooke. He contemplated going back to Michael and asking the Darling brother to drive him home. Michael was kind, like John but with slightly more bite. He wouldn't reject Felix or placate Peter.

"Felix," Peter said, grabbing onto his best friend's wrist. When his lanky friend refused to react, Peter forcibly dragged him over to the counter and sat him down, restraining him by his shoulders when he tried to get up, "Anyway, please continue," Peter said, all smiles while his hands wrestled with the rebellious boy.

Nick cleared his throat loudly, returning to a non-judgemental smile, "Anyway. These are our selections based on your requests," He pointed to a plate containing miniature rectangles of different cakes, "This one is chocolate-caramel, chocolate-vanilla, lavender-vanilla…" He listed them off, nodding to Wendy each time and trying to avoid staring at Felix and Peter wrestling at each other beside her, "Take your pick," He finished, placing a cake knife into Peter's hands.

"Thanks!" Peter said, smiling innocently with a knife in one hand and Felix restrained in a headlock in the other. Barely reacting to Felix's struggling, he cut the first slice of cake in half, picking up the first piece and handing it to Wendy. He then promptly cut his own slice in half once more, picking up the quarter piece and holding it to Felix's lips, " _Felix_ …" Peter grumbled when the boy kept his mouth tightly shut.

Felix couldn't hold out; Peter knew he couldn't. As soon as Felix gave in, Peter took the leftover quarter and popped it into his mouth with a satisfied look on his face. He hummed playfully, proceeding to do the same with _every_ cake sample.

Nick watched on, a bit awestruck and already contemplating _who_ was getting married in this trio.

Peter hummed when Felix's stopped struggling after taking a bite of the lavender-vanilla slice, "Did that one taste good?" He shook Felix a bit, trying to get the boy to drop the obstinate irritation on his face. Grumbling, he tilted Felix's head back so he could stare at him directly. He smirked at the slight blush on his cheeks, "Ah, so you did like it," He picked up the second piece, popping it into Felix's mouth and watching his best friend snap it up eagerly.

"Yes, that one was pretty good," Wendy added, trying to insert herself into the situation.

Nick looked over to Wendy with an incredulous expression. The patient girl replied with a shrug and sigh, already used to Peter and Felix's not-so-platonic shenanigans.

"Let's get more of that one then," Peter announced, releasing his hold around Felix's neck and resting his hands on his shoulders.

" _P...Peter…"_ Wendy stuttered out as Peter proceeded to take every lavender-vanilla sample and _stuff it into Felix's mouth_ , "Shouldn't you be trying at least one?"

Felix batted Peter's hands away, fighting to not choke on the mound of cake in his mouth, "They're good! I admit it!" Felix shouted amidst the cake, spitting out pieces.

"There we go," Peter chimed, "You're speaking to me again!"

" _PETER!_ "

All three men in the bakery shuddered at Wendy's outburst. Felix watched Wendy, studying her as he swallowed the sugary clump in his mouth. She looked _jealous_. Peter picked it up right away, releasing Felix, shoving him aside, before taking a seat next to Wendy. He immediately took her hand, stroking at the back of her wrist trying to coax her out from glaring.

Felix cleared his throat loudly, stuffing his hands back into his pocket while Nick the baker offered him a glass of water with a clearly amused expression. This was certainly the oddest wedding cake tasting he'd ever hosted.

 

The car was dead silent. Felix sat in the front this time, absently looking out the window and exchanging glances with the only sane man in the car while Peter and Wendy sat in the back, both of them clearly unhappy.

"So, Felix," Michael started, trying to make small talk, "What cake did they go with?"

Felix sighed heavily, already feeling Wendy's glare on the back of his head. He reached out from his sweater, rubbing at his forehead, "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Something fell out from your sweater," Michael commented, stopping at a red-light and fetching the cloth, "Is this a handkerchief or…" He paused and Felix was nearly purple in embarrassment. Clearing his throat and dropped the boxer shorts onto Felix's lap, Michael returned his attention to the road, "This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder."

"Are those your knickers?" Peter commented with a laugh, "Oh my god, they really are."

Stuffing them back in his pockets, Felix let out a shy whimper and leaned away from Peter.

"Why do you have those on you?" Peter asked.

"Maybe it’s a gift for John," Michael joked, sputtering with laughter when he noticed Peter's glare, "I've got a good idea. You should put them in an envelope and send it to him during a meeting."

Peter was about to reply with some witty retort only to pause, thinking as he glanced over to Felix curiously. Felix's attention automatically returned to Peter, knowing that his leader had something to say to him, "Did my father put them there?"

Felix didn't need to respond, answering Peter's question as he averted his eyes. The air was suddenly humourless. Peter was dead silent once more, collapsing back into his seat with a look of death on his face. Felix receded back, shutting himself down and slumping to hide himself. Michael took another deep breath, feeling all the love in the car suffocating him.

"So… I should drop you off first, right?" Michael said, looking to Felix. He could see his apartment in the distance.

" _No_ ," Peter shouted. Michael grimaced at the sound, "He's not going home. Not while my father's there."

Michael slowed the car as he approached the main intersection, ready to turn on command, "Alright. Then where is he going?"

"He's staying with me," Peter replied without delay.

"Why doesn't he stay with John?" Wendy suggested suddenly, "John's place is pretty big. Felix would be comfortable there and my brother doesn't mind."

Everyone heard a growl at the back of Peter's throat, expecting him to snarl at Wendy with all his hate. Instead, he said the only thing he could muster up calmly, "No," Peter reached forward, taking Felix's arm in his hand, "I need to keep an eye on him so he's staying with me."

Huffing loudly, "Stop the car!" Wendy shouted, nearly kicking open the door and stepping out while it was still moving. Michael slammed on the brakes, parking the car and twisting around to see Wendy storming away and Peter running after her.

Michael glanced at Felix, noting how the boy was much calmer when Peter was gone. He smacked at the wheel lazily, whistling to himself, "See, this is why I don't have a girlfriend."

 

Despite easily catching up to Wendy, Peter didn't try to stop her, trying to make enough distance from the car. He could tell Wendy had the same idea, slowing down after she turned the corner and stopped in front of a bookstore.

"You don't understand," Peter tried to start.

"I _understand_ ," Wendy replied, whipping around and staring Peter straight in the eyes, "If you love Felix then you should just admit to it!" Peter was shaking his head but before he could speak, Wendy shut him down knowing Peter had the skill to win her over with just words, "When we started dating, I let you bring Felix along because you said that he had no other friends. But when he became friends with John and offered to spend time with him, you _still_ wouldn't let Felix go."

 _John Darling_. Peter loathed him and Wendy knew. It was just an innocent suggestion: Wendy asked John and Michael to spend time with Felix so she could have privacy with Peter. They obliged and bit by bit, John fell in love with Felix. It wasn't right for anyone other than Peter to be Felix's confidant. How could Wendy ever understand that?

Peter was shaking his head, eyes narrowed, _annoyed_ , "I'm not in love with Felix _._ "

"Then tell that to Felix," Wendy declared, "And stop seeing him. That's the only way I can be sure."

That would kill Felix and despite Peter's denial, it'd probably kill him too.

Peter swallowed, always calculating the best move and coming up with stalemates at every action, "If it wasn't for my father, I wouldn't have to bring Felix around."

"What does your father have to do with this?" Wendy asked.

Peter could work with this. He could protect his status with Wendy and his friendship with Felix. He reached into his jacket pocket, taking out Felix's phone. He obviously wasn't going to leave it in Malcolm's grasp so he hastily took it with him when he dragged Felix out of his apartment. He flipped it open, searching through the phone logs till he found what he was looking for.

 

"You know, John said the date went well," Michael commented, "But he said he screwed up at the end. Wouldn't tell me what he did though," Felix shrugged in reply, "What did you think about it?"

"It was okay," Felix said monotonously.

Michael let out an awkward, little chuckle, "Be honest. I won't judge you."

 _Honest?_ To Michael Darling who had the least to do with any of this drama, it seemed unfair to drag him into this. Felix sighed heavily, "I kept thinking of Peter the whole time and when he told me that Peter was a bad person, I lashed out at him."

"Really? He told you straight up that Peter is a bad person?" Michael inquired, humming with intrigue as Felix nodded, "Interesting. Did he tell you that Peter was using Wendy?"

Felix flinched, "How'd you know?"

"Felix, _really_ ," Michael replied, brows knitted in a way that almost made him look like Pan, "It's obvious. We've all tried telling her. She won't listen. She loves him way too much."

Undying loyalty, denying all others for a single person, so in love that they're blind to Peter's true nature. Felix was beginning to sympathize with Wendy, "John said Peter was using me too."

"I'm not going to expand on that," Michael replied, reclining in his chair, "That's John's opinion."

"Do you agree with him?"

Michael shrugged back, "Don't know. To be honest, John and I really don't know much about your relationship with Peter."

From the rear-view mirror, Michael could see Peter and Wendy coming back. Judging from their joined hands, he could tell the two had made peace, "Felix?" Michael prompted, looking away from the mirror and back into the street, "What do you think of my brother? And be honest."

Felix narrowed his eyes, pondering for just a moment before answering, "He's a good person but he's not… _Peter_ ," Peter who found him when he was lost and lonely. Peter who protected him and showed him the world. Peter who used him right from the start. Peter who abandoned him when something _better_ came along. Felix felt ashamed for turning away John who did nothing but treat him well.

"Fair enough," Michael replied, starting the car.

"But," Felix added. A part of him had to say it because a part of him did want this to happen, "I'm willing to try again."

Looking over his shoulder and _smiling kindly_ , Michael gave him a reassuring nod before refastening his seatbelt. "Where do you want to go? Peter's place? John's place? _My place?"_ Felix stuttered at the last suggestion, face looking incredulous, "Oh god no. I didn't mean it like that! John would kill me! Thought you'd just like an alternative who didn't want to secretly bone you."

Felix sputtered with laughter, barely noticing that Wendy and Peter were right outside, "John wants to 'bone me'," Such vulgar terms just didn't match the older Darling brother.

Michael was still snickering, "Felix, come on. He might be all super-proper-nice-guy but he's still just a man," Knowing Wendy was in the backseat, he quickly mumbled to Felix, "When we were teens, I once found his porn collection. He likes blonds and doms."

Felix burst into laughter and almost immediately, Peter leapt forward, "What are you two talking about?"

"Just gossiping about John," Michael replied, "Anyway, where to?"

Checking the clock, Felix figured he could ask his boss at The Rabbit Hole if he could work an earlier shift, "The Rabbit Hole. My shift starts soon."

A gasp from Wendy, "But that place is so filthy!"

A cheer from Michael, "I love that place!"

"W-what?" Wendy gasped, "Does John know you're going to that bar?"

"John goes with me. He was the one who brought me there in the first place," Michael replied, snickering when Wendy stared at him utterly appalled.

Peter narrowed his eyes and folded his arms, "Since when does John go to sketchy bars? Um, no offense, Felix."

Michael smirked, flashing Peter a toothy grin in the rear-view mirror, "Since he knew Felix started working there."

A part of Felix didn't want to go to the Rabbit Hole with the two Darlings in tow. The bartender never knew of Peter's engagement and always thought Peter was in a relationship with _Felix_. He was utterly surprised when Peter and Wendy entered the bar holding hands and finding a table far from Peter's usual spot. He read the apprehension on Felix's face, noticing immediately how the boy kept avoiding eye contact.

Wisely, the rotund bartender mentioned nothing of it, giving Felix the usual commands and praise.

"I wouldn't sit there if I were you," Felix commented as he gestured to the stool Michael was about to take.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Michael asked, examining the seemingly normal seat.

"That's Peter's seat. He hates when people sit there," Felix explained, nodding in Peter's direction. As if on cue, Peter looked away from Wendy and glared at Michael, daring him to sit on his seat and risk losing a leg.

"A part of me is tempted to sit here just to piss him off," Michael replied before sliding onto the stool next to it, "The other part of me prefers keeping my legs."

"Wise choice," The bartender chimed in, chuckling along before moving back to his side of the bar. Both of them had seen Peter assault whoever foolishly took his stool. Even if Peter already occupied a seat, no one was allowed in that particular stool.

Felix was polishing a glass on his side, trying to distract himself from Wendy and Peter pecking at each other in the corner. Despite everyone's insistence that Peter did not love Wendy, it still unnerved him to see the two together.

His attention turned to Michael who was distracting himself with Fruit Ninja, "Did John really come to this place because of me?"

"Yeah. One of his colleagues said he saw you working the bar," Michael replied without even looking up from his phone, "So John called me up the next day and we hung out at the back."

"I don't remember seeing you two."

"That's because you didn't," Michael replied, nodding towards the back row of tables, "John was so nervous that he spent the whole time contemplating what to say. By the time he got something, your shift already ended and you left."

Felix chuckled a bit, always amused by the bashfulness of the older Darling brother and how his professional, confident self was such a contrast, "When did John… you know…"

"Start obsessing over you?" Michael joked, "If I remember correctly, that guy with missing fingers? What's his name… Nicholas Bates?"

"Nibs?" Felix corrected with his nickname.

Michael pointed to Felix with a confirming nod, "Yeah. That guy."

"What does Nibs have to do with this?" Felix could remember when Peter asked him if he could spend time with the Darling brothers. Peter claimed that he wanted Felix to make new connections but he knew it was because Wendy demanded some private time from Peter. He couldn't exactly blame her given his own feelings for Peter. John didn't like him when they first met and even Michael was slightly apprehensive. Felix was unpleasant, antisocial, and overall miserable having been abandoned by Pan.

"You don't remember?" Michael replied with a smirk playing on his face, "You were all closed up when we first met. Truth be told, John was actually kind of scared of you because he thought you'd deck him in the face," Felix laughed lightly at the remark. If anything, he was intimidated by John and his higher social tier, "But there was this one time you got a call about 'Nibs' hurting himself at the wood shop, then you completely changed."

Felix didn't follow. It was always natural for him to go to his Lost Boys when they needed help even if they were no longer together.

"You were all lively and shouting when we got to the hospital. You kind of reminded me of a mother hen," Michael fought back a snicker as Felix flipped him off, "John really loved that side of you. You really are so different when you're not thinking of Peter."

That was the person he wanted to be, the one who stood up for the lost and lonely unlike the person he truly was, a fool hopelessly in love with Peter Pan, playing at a mother hen because Peter didn't want to deal with the boys. John had gotten it backwards, thinking his better side was his real side.

"Hey, Felix," Michael called out, drumming his fingers on the bar, "My brother still… really likes you. If John wants to try another date, would you let him?"

John was a good person. Felix knew he deserved better or at the very least, deserved someone who wasn't infatuated with another. If he could get over Peter, Felix wanted to try again, give John the relationship he deserves, "Sure," He murmured, about to explain his conditions till his boss yelled from behind him.

"Malcolm?" Felix's blood ran cold. He nearly dropped the glass he was polishing, "What are you doing here?"

"Come on Hal, can't an old friend drop by for a drink?" That accent was unmistakeable.

"We’re are not friends," The bartender snapped, "Not even close."

Malcolm shrugged to him with an arrogant 'hrmph', "Whatever. I'm not here to see you," _Oh god no. Oh please god no_. Felix was paralyzed in fear, biting down on his tongue when Malcolm took Peter's stool and stared at him from across the bar, "Good afternoon, love. I missed you."

They had a deal and Felix had to comply, "I missed you too," He forced out. He fought the urge to flinch when Malcolm reached out and take his chin. He shut his eyes and leaned forward, pressing his lips against Malcolm's in a chaste kiss. Nothing was ever chaste or pure about the scoundrel and he promptly deepened the kiss to his liking, tasting the inside of Felix's mouth thoroughly.

Michael was taken aback, staring with a gaping expression. They'd just spent the whole time talking about John and his feelings for Felix. This intimate moment between Felix and Malcolm seemed like sacrilege and Michael was no doubt offended on his brother's behalf. Last he met Malcolm, the older man could not stop harassing his older brother. Michael barely stopped himself from beating the scoundrel with a chair.

"W-What the hell is this?" Michael asked, almost _disgusted_ at the juxtaposition of Felix's kind words about John and lewd actions with Malcolm.

Felix wanted to explain, wanted Michael to know, but to get what he truly wanted, he had to break John's heart and Michael's faith in him, "I'm seeing him," Felix said quietly.

" _What_?" Michael gasped out, appalled that Felix would spend all his time chatting about John only to reveal that he was dating the scoundrel that spited him, "What… what?" He repeated, unable to process the situation, "What! Since when?"

Malcolm pressed a finger to Felix's lips, silencing him, "For quite a while now. We've been keeping our little affair a secret," He giggled, lifting Felix's left hand and _pressing a kiss to the back of it_ , mocking John's polite, romantic gesture, "That time you saw us at Granny's. That was our first date. Such a _tease_ , isn't he? Flirting with your brother to make me jealous."

Michael looked to Felix, begging him to deny Malcolm's explanation. He was just stringing John along, taking advantage of his feelings for him, a gold digger, spiting Wendy through her family.

They had a deal and Malcolm was eager to punish transgressions. Felix nodded to Malcolm, pressing a kiss into his patchy beard, "You're just so cute when you're jealous. I couldn't help it," He lied through his teeth. Malcolm was _terrifying_ when he was jealous.

His friendship with Michael shattered to pieces in front of him. Michael's glare darkened as Malcolm leaned over the bar and covered Felix with his body, hands gliding under his clothes groping at him publicly. Felix played along, mewling at the sensitive touches and rolling under his hands sensually.

Turning away from Malcolm, Felix meant to mouth the truth to Michael. Fear of Malcolm picking up the cues and breaking their deal stopped him. Swallowing harshly, Felix whispered to Michael, "I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

Michael said nothing, expression solemn and dark as he stood from the bar. He shook his head in disgust, glowering as he turned and stormed out. His older brother would always mean the most to him and to learn that Felix had been playing him this entire time made Michael absolutely sick. _But I really wasn't…_

"You nasty little brat," Malcolm hissed into his ear, pretending to suckle at his neck, "You really like using the Darling brothers to make me jealous. First John, now Michael," He gave Felix's hips a friendly pat with both hands, "I should just take you over my knee right now."

"Get your hands off of him," Hal shouted as he swiftly came over, "I don't care what relationship you have with him. He's working right now and I won't tolerate you distracting him like this."

Malcolm rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed with Hal cock-blocking him. He clicked his tongue and sat back down, folding his arms, "Cuba Libre," He said, smirking to Felix as he completed his order before turning to meet Peter's eyes, "Don't be shy, laddie. Come over and bring your girlfriend too."

Peter couldn't stand knowing that the moment he went over, he'd punch Malcolm in the face and get himself kicked out. The last thing he wanted was for Felix to be alone with his scoundrel father. He flinched when Wendy touched his shoulder, so blinded by rage that he didn't even notice her.

"Peter, go outside and get some fresh air," She commanded, ushering him out of the bar before approaching Malcolm and Felix, "Malcolm."

With Peter gone and both parties aware of each other's intentions, Malcolm smiled brightly at her and took Felix's hand once more, "Wendy. How's the wedding planning going?" He gave Felix a loving pat on the cheek, "Felix and I have started a beautiful relationship _thanks to you_."

The implication that her deal to break Peter and Felix up caused Felix to run to Malcolm's arms tasted sour in her mouth. She swallowed it back though, gathering her courage before speaking, "I'm calling off our deal."

Even Felix was surprised at her proclamation. Malcolm, however, was slightly less amused, "Oh, Really? You don't want Peter to yourself anymore then?" Felix would never forget. Her deal, the mirror opposite to his own, to have Peter for herself, "Isn't this good though? I get Felix; you get Peter. Everyone's happy."

"Of course I still love Peter. I don't want it like this," Wendy explained. She looked to Felix, trying to read him and realize that this was all just an act from him, "You'll hurt him. _Just like you did when he was little_."

Felix stiffened under Malcolm's hands, immediately drawing away. He didn't know what Wendy was talking about but the sudden shock on Malcolm's face frightened him. That man was always ready for everything so for him to be surprised, Wendy must've touched a very sensitive topic.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Malcolm _growled_ , "Did Peter say something to you? That boy is such a talented liar. Gets it from me, really," Felix was shaking his head, puzzled, "I've never harmed Felix before in my life."

"He told me…" Wendy stopped, lowering her voice so no one else could hear, "That the reason he left home was because he found Felix crying under his bed after you…" She stopped again, unable to continue.

"I did _nothing_ of the sort," Malcolm replied, "That's just another lie Peter fabricated to implicate me. Naïve girl, no wonder Peter picked you. You're so _easy_ to manipulate," Malcolm was clearly angry despite his calculated tone. There must've been some truth behind Wendy's words but Felix could not remember a thing, "Are you done regurgitating Peter's words or are you going to keep pretending like you're some angel protecting a boy you hate?" It was also clear that Wendy didn't know the _whole_ story, that Peter gave her just what she needed to know to understand but not enough to fully accuse Malcolm. She was trying to lure Malcolm into saying more but failed miserably against the skilled wordsmith.

Wendy shook it off, looking back to Felix before locking eyes with Malcolm again, "I'm calling off the deal," She repeated, "Now let him go."

"The deal has nothing to do with this," Malcolm hummed in reply, tossing an arm around Felix, "Tell her, Felix, how you really feel about me."

Wendy's deal meant nothing to Felix other than another excuse to hate the Darling sister. Regardless, he still loved Peter and he'd sacrifice his self-respect for him, "I love him," Felix declared, "I loved him since I was little. This has nothing to do with Peter."

"This has everything to do with Peter," Wendy replied.

"I wonder!" Malcolm shouted, calling for both their attentions, "I wonder what Peter would do if he found out about your sick little deal, driving off his beloved best friend into my arms," His blackmail was clear and Wendy shuddered at the thought. Peter would loathe her especially given her suspicions that Peter was in love with Felix, "That's what I thought. So how about you shut up like a good little bird and fly back to Peter?"

His words were harsh and Felix would be lying if he said he never felt like saying the same to her, restricted by Peter's presence. Despite that, he felt the slightest pity when Wendy cast her eyes to the ground upset and defeated. She had no idea she was dealing with such a monster and she'd gone too far now.

In a sudden outburst, Wendy raised her hand, ready to slap Malcolm across the face. Felix lunged forward, grabbing her by the wrist, " _Wendy_ ," Felix muttered, smoky eyes locked onto her honey-coloured gaze, "This is my choice. Malcolm gives me what I need," He was better at lying than he thought. Perhaps Peter and Malcolm really were rubbing off on him, "Stop picking a fight with him."

Wendy was silent but understood. There was just the slightest bit of confusion in her eyes but she still backed away without inquiry, exiting the bar altogether. Everyone was staring at her as she left, wondering what the hell just happened to make her lash out at a forty-something year old man.

"Trying to get on her good side," Malcolm chuckled, "Well-played. You're learning."

Felix swallowed harshly, the bitterness on his tongue refusing to subside.

Malcolm's hands came onto Felix's hips, toying with his hipbones before sliding down to cup his ass, "I don't like her, so preppy and self-righteous. That's why I know Peter doesn't love her."

Moments had passed and Peter and Wendy hadn't returned. Felix was honestly surprised that Peter would've left him alone with Malcolm but he figured Wendy might've ran off after she stepped outside. He had priorities and whether it was true love or just an act, Wendy had priority over Felix.

"When's your shift end?" Malcolm asked playfully, a jovial bounce returning to his words.

Felix wanted to take an extra shift but under the scoundrel's scrutinizing gaze, he told him he'd be free in two hours.

Two hours later in the backroom, Felix folded up his apron as slowly as he could, stuffing it into his cubby for his next shift. His eyes kept flickering at the doors, expecting Malcolm to burst in and shove him against the wall. When he finally had a quiet moment to think, Felix realized what an idiot he'd been this whole time. _Everyone_ claimed that Peter was using Wendy. _Everyone_ claimed that Peter was using him. Yet, Felix blindly followed Peter and foolishly let his heart break because of Wendy.

If he could rewind the clock, he'd turn it back to a simpler time before all of this drama happened.

Although, Felix was wondering if the past was far less simple than he remembered.

"Felix!"

The boy flinched at the sound of his name, scrambling back fearfully. It was only Hal coming in to check on him, "You scared me," Felix said, clearing his throat loudly to cover up the obvious tremble in his voice, "Is there something you need?"

The pudgy man ran a shady establishment but even he cared for his co-workers, "Keep your distance from Malcolm. I knew the guy back in the day. Nothing good will come from him, got it?"

Felix already knew that but he gave Hal a reassuring nod before exiting the backroom. Malcolm was still at the bar sitting in Peter's seat twiddling his fingers towards the lanky boy, "Night's still young," He said, deliberately licking his lips when Felix got close, "What would you like to do?"

"Up to you," Felix replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

Malcolm leered at him, lips stretching into a smile as he lurched forward, taking Felix's face into his hands and crushing their mouths together in a passionate, almost violent kiss. Felix groaned at the contact, fingers scratching at Malcolm's chest trying to resist fighting back. Malcolm's hands caressed Felix's cheeks before sliding down, one resting on the back of his neck and the other pressing intimately against his lower back.

Tightening his hold on Felix, Malcolm smeared kisses all along the side of his face, "Not seeing you for the entire day and dealing with that nasty girl has gotten me all frustrated. I need some _comfort_ ," His arms felt heavy around Felix, crushing him against his own body in an attempt to maximize contact. He eventually returned to Felix's mouth, lapping at his lips till the blond boy welcomed in his invasive tongue, "Hm, you taste yummy," Malcolm commented, smacking his lips before taking hold of Felix's head and plunging his tongue back inside, nearly choking Felix with the intruding muscle, "Vanilla and… cinnamon? No wait, don’t' tell me. Let me guess."

Malcolm continued to voraciously search the cavern of Felix's mouth as he spat out random guesses to the lingering cake flavour, his tongue violating every crevice and muscle he could reach. In an attempt to distract himself, Felix opened his eyes and flickered around the bar, slightly mortified to see all the bar customers _staring_ at him. In the back, he could see the girls from a few nights ago, the ones who assumed him and Peter were dating. He could see how confused and _concerned_ they looked. _How did Felix go from the handsome rascal to this shameless scoundrel?_

Mumbling, Felix wrenched his head away to breathe, "Vanilla and lavender," He said, gasping when Malcolm peppered his neck with bites and kisses. He flinched when Malcolm tightened his hold, crushing the boy in his deceptively strong arms, " _What_?"

"Naughty boy," Malcolm chimed, eyes flickering down his body for just a moment before turning to his face, "I told you to let me guess," Both his hands skimmed down his body, resting at the small of his back before sliding down lower, threatening to grope him through his jeans in public.

Felix's eyes flickered around him involuntarily, taking note of everyone who was watching. He swallowed harshly, biting down his humiliation before taking Malcolm's face into his hands and shifting close, using seduction to placate him, "Forgive me, _Papa_."

Felix was startled at the sudden heat radiating from Malcolm, magnified by their close proximity. His pupils dilated with lust, appearing pitch black as a scoundrel's smile stretched across his lips. His infatuation with that taboo pet name was _disturbing_ but unfortunately effective when trying to win him over. The scoundrel's hands returned to his waist as he leaned forward, ready to violate Felix's mouth till _Peter_ tore them apart.

The boy dove in through the door, nearly sprinting as he clawed the two apart, "Felix!" Peter declared, all smiles as he pat his best friend's chest, "The Lost Boys are throwing a party tonight. Are you interested?"

It took Felix a short moment to recollect his thoughts. His mind was still spinning from Malcolm's contact. _Lost Boys?_ Peter had disbanded them a long time ago and the last time they had gathered, it was clear that most of them were unhappy with Peter's decision and Rufio's relocation to New York. While Felix stayed on good relation with most of them, Peter had been effectively exiled.

As if reading his mind, Peter nudged at Felix's arm, "Come on. You know they don't like me. I need you there to absorb the punches," He suddenly clutched his sleeve, pulling him close, expression soft, "Felix, _please_ ," His hand came up, patting at Felix's cheek once more.

" _Yes Peter_ ," Felix whispered under his breath, too quiet for anyone to hear.

"Sure. Why not?" Malcolm answered for him, wrapping an arm around Felix's waist and pulling him close, "I'll go with you. You can introduce me to all your friends."

Snarling, Peter wrenched Malcolm's hands off of Felix and pulled his friend away, leading him out the door where Wendy waited. She gave Felix a friendly wave before heading down the street with Peter in tow.

"It's been so long since we've seen them," Peter commented, still holding onto Felix's wrist and dragging him along, "You still keep in contact with them?" His eyes drifted behind Felix's head noting that his father was still following them with a pleasant look on his face.

Occasionally, a couple Lost Boys would call him up for advice. He wasn't exactly sure why he would be the prime candidate for career advice given his own standings but he figured the boys were just so used to asking Felix for help that they continued to do so even after they grew up. Felix shrugged in response.

"It'll be fun. Just like old times," Peter said.

At his reassuring words, Felix stopped and pulled his hand away, "Peter. Can you just stop this?"

Peter froze at his words, the happiness in his eyes immediately disappearing as he watched Felix, "What do you mean?"

Peter knew exactly what he meant and that was what pissed Felix off the most. He didn't want to explain this to him, "I appreciate what you're doing but I'm _still angry at you_ ," Since this morning, nothing had changed. No matter what Michael said or how Peter treated him, Felix was still the fool who loved too much, "You're not being fair, Peter. You can't have both of us."

Peter was speechless, staring at Felix desperately. Felix never hated him before, never opposed him, so when it finally happened, Peter didn't know what to do.

"Come on Felix," Malcolm said, suddenly rushing up beside Felix, "I'll give you a lift home."

Peter seethed at his words but immediately slackened when Felix voluntarily took his father's hand, gave him a nod, and began to walk away, "Fe-…"

"Felix!" A youthful, male voice shouted.

Peter didn't recognize it at first but Felix caught it right away. He turned towards the street, barely bracing himself as a spunky, messy-haired redhead tackled him to the ground, "Curly?"

Curly looked up at Felix, the youthfulness of his high school self still prevalent, "Dog pile on Felix!"

" _What._ "

Felix had little time to prepare as a gang of boys rushed at him and promptly threw themselves on top of them, crushing him into the pavement. Oddly enough, Wendy and Malcolm were sharing the exact same expression as they witnessed the playfully violent display of affection. Peter was far less perturbed, suddenly reminded of his old, rascally self.

"Lost boys!" Peter exclaimed, chuckling as a few of them broke off and tackled Peter down. The older ones stayed on Felix's side and Peter could already sense the slightest animosity they had against him. From where he lay on the ground, Peter ruffled the hairs of the lost boys crushing him like eager puppies. He looked over to Felix curiously, gaping with pleasant surprise at the smile stretched across Felix's face, a big, toothy grin unlike the bitterness Peter had seen from him all day.

Peter could feel the slightest warmth in his heart spreading outward, at the sight of Felix happy once again.

 

Granny's diner bustled with the Lost Boys' reunion party. Felix wondered how Peter was able to rent out the entire diner, assuming that Wendy was probably the one who did it. This left a sour taste in his mouth, realizing that the Lost Boy party was most likely her idea and a ploy to make Felix happy to keep Peter for herself. He didn't pay much attention to it though, nostalgia blanketing his suspicions.

"To be honest, Nibs," Slightly exclaimed, "I'm surprised Marco still keeps you around at the wood shop."

Nibs folded his arms, blowing a stray lock of chocolate brown hair off his face, "Hey, I do a good job. I'm still alive, aren't I?"

Felix chuckled at the remark, peering down at Nibs's hands, "You only have seven more chances to screw up."

As all the boys took their turns ribbing at Nibs, Felix peered over to the bar watching Peter and Wendy chat with the younger of the Lost Boys. They were still in school, newcomers who had yet to invest in the Lost Boys before Peter disbanded them. To them, Peter was still their shining, flawless leader. The others Lost Boys, however, were not quite as happy, feeling betrayed that their leader had abandoned them for a better life.

"You still friends with Peter?" Curly asked, nudging at Felix's leg with his foot. Felix nodded back, his smile faltering for just a moment, "For the record, none of us blame you for disbanding the Lost Boys. We all know Peter told you to do it."

It was one of the worst moments of his life, being forced to abandon the Lost Boys to stay by Peter's side. At the time, it seemed like the only possibility for him. Abandoning Peter was a suicidal action, "Someone had to stay on his side," Felix replied, forcing a smile, "What would he be without me?"

The Lost Boys laughed it off as they always did when Felix said something secretly harsh. Slightly looked back towards Peter and Wendy when Felix turned away, humming as he contemplated the two, "Wendy Darling really doesn't seem like his type. I don't see it."

Tootles folded his arms, "I thought for sure he'd start dating…" All of them immediately peered over to Felix, snickering before turning away, "Someone else. Just not Wendy Darling of all people."

"My girlfriend's prettier," Nibs replied.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tootles declared, standing up with his arms raised, "You have a girlfriend? Did you meet her in the ER?"

As the boys continued their favourite pastime then and now, Felix absently glanced over to Peter who attentively listened to Wendy as she spoke with the younger Lost Boys, no doubt giving them advice. He thought he'd be happy knowing that everyone thought Peter was using Wendy but something was still wrong about it. Even if Peter never loved Wendy, in terms of who Peter valued more, Felix was still number two. Was it selfish for him to wish he could be more? _Of course it was._ Felix's conditioned response was painful to choke out.

"How about you, Felix?" Tootles asked, "Are you seeing anyone?"

Involuntarily, Felix peered to the far end of the bar where Malcolm sat, delicately balancing a glass of cider in his fingers. Immediately, Malcolm's eyes found his, lips twisting upwards in a smirk as he slid off his stool and approached him. Felix visibly flinched at his approach, turning back to his boys with a desperate need for composure.

"I'm…I'm seeing him," Felix stuttered out as Malcolm pulled up a chair, scraping it loudly against the floor, and fell down beside him. He threw an arm around Malcolm's shoulders when all the boys threw him an incredulous look, unable to believe Felix had fallen for someone who wasn't Peter.

Malcolm waved to the boys, pressing a kiss to Felix's cheek while peering at Peter through the corner of his eye, "Pleasure to meet you all. I'm Malcolm," Felix had to note that Malcolm excluded his last name.

"This is Tootles, Curly, Nibs, and Slightly," Felix introduced the boys one-by-one, immediately looking back at Malcolm and noting the amused expression on his face, "What?"

Malcolm snickered quietly to himself, "Cute nicknames. You came up with them?"

"Of course not," Felix choked out. Peter came up with them, threatening to kick anyone out if they refused a nickname, "Peter came up with them."

A pleased hum came from Malcolm, the urge to call Peter 'his son' was overwhelming, "Soooo," Malcolm hooked an arm around Felix's waist, jerking the boy close and nuzzling his cheek, "Any funny stories about _my_ Felix back in high school?"

"Funny stories…" Nibs pondered, "You mean like that time Peter and Felix dressed up as girls?"

All the boys sighed and snickered at the memory, " _Good times_ ," Slightly sighed, reclining in his seat.

" _Nibs…_ " Felix growled, left eye twitching with his teeth bared, face beet red.

Silencing Felix with an arm around his neck and a hand over his mouth, Malcolm wrestled Felix into his arms with a toothy smile plastered to his face, "Tell me. Tell me. Tell me," He cheered, bouncing eagerly in his seat.

"Go ahead Nibs," Tootles prompted, sipping his apple cider gingerly, "You're probably going to die soon anyway."

Completely unheeding Tootles' warning, Nibs promptly started his story, "If I remember correctly, it started when Rufio got dumped by his girlfriend and Peter suggested that he make her jealous by getting another girl," All the Lost Boys immediately giggled at the remark while Felix's protests were muffled by Malcolm. The older man chewed on his lip in excitement, already knowing where this story would lead, "So Peter dressed up like a girl for Rufio."

Malcolm looked over to his son, chuckling at him with unbridled amusement before turning back to Nibs, "So where does Felix get in on this?"

"He was afraid someone was going to catch Peter and he didn't want him to face them alone," Nibs explained, "So Felix dressed up with him!"

Shaking off Malcolm's hold, Felix wrestled his hands off and crossed his arms proudly, "It was an act of honour."

Curly took out his phone, swiping lazily at the screen, "I think I have a picture."

"NO!" Felix dove at Slightly only for Malcolm to restrain him once more, one arm around his waist and the other over his shoulders.

" _Act. of. honour!_ " Slightly teased, punctuating each word with alternating fist pumps.

Seething but still happy, Felix glared daggers at Slightly with absolutely no malice, "Shut up," He watched as the boys all leaned over Curly 's shoulder, giggling like children as their eyes flickered between Felix and the phone.

Malcolm's eyes shone as they slid the phone over and he nearly burst into laughter at the sight of Peter proudly posing while Felix scampered behind him shyly, both of them adorned with a myriad of ribbons, silk, and pastel shades. His mouth fell open, blown away at the most surreal image he'd seen in a while. His eyes then fell upon Felix, lips curled together and jittering as he stared at him like he was the most adorable little rabbit in the world.

" _Don't look at me like that_ ," Felix snapped, sliding Curly's phone away, "That won't ever happen again. You get that? Not even if Peter dresses up like girl."

Nibs snickered loudly, "What if Peter wore a wedding dress for the wedding? Would you be one of his bridesmaids?"

Felix knew Nibs had a bad habit of spitting out words without much thought. All of them knew and Tootles promptly slapped Nibs over the top of the head. Talk of the wedding was _taboo_ even if none of the Lost Boys were involved with it.

Unhappiness evident in Felix's posture even if he concealed it on his face, Malcolm wrapped his arms around Felix once more, no longer restraining him but _embracing him_ , resting his chin against his shoulder as a lover would and whispering into his ear, "I still love you," It was all a part of the charade. This confession didn't actually count. That was what Malcolm believed which was why he was completely taken aback when Felix responded.

"I love you too."

Gobsmacked, Malcolm's eyes snapped wide open at his words and for just a moment, he was speechless. He was half-expecting a snarky remark, playing a standoffish lover to his friends. Instead, Felix was playing along with him and if Malcolm was a fool, he might've taken Felix's words at face value.

Unwilling to let this opportunity pass, Malcolm took Felix by the waist and dragged him onto his lap, caressing his cheek playfully as he leaned in ,"C'mere you," He said with a giggle, pulling Felix in and kissing him passionately, "Better?" Malcolm asked, nudging at Felix's chin and smiling when his fake lover smiled back. He threw an arm around Felix and tucked his head under his chin, "Anyway, any other funny stories about my _adorable_ Felix?" At the remark, Felix immediately reached up and pinched his cheek tightly.

For just a brief moment, Felix entangled in his lover's embrace, his closest friends, _his lost boys_ , back together and laughing along, everything could have been perfect. If only Peter was the one holding him, everything would be absolutely perfect. Felix wouldn't ask for anything more.

"Get the hell away from him!"

No one had any time to react as Peter bolted over, grabbed Malcolm by the back of his jacket, and hurled him onto the ground. Felix tumbled off his lap, landing on the floor inelegantly as Peter dragged Malcolm to his feet and shoved him away.

"Malcolm!" Felix called out, quickly scrambling to his feet only to be stopped by _Wendy_ of all people, "Get out of my way."

"Felix, please, you can't go with him anymore," Wendy pleaded which only made Felix angrier. Like she had any right to lecture her about Malcolm.

Slightly stood from his seat, slamming his fist down on the table to demand Peter's attention, "What the hell Peter! We were having fun."

Peter sneered at Slightly, rolling his eyes and talking down on him with a harsh tone, "Don't give me shit, Slightly. I've know this bastard way longer then you have," He gestured towards Malcolm. Once his eyes were locked onto his father's, he just couldn't look away, "Nothing good will ever come from my father."

"… _Father?_ "

Peter always had to have Felix's absolute attention; Felix was not allowed to be happy without him. Malcolm knew these unconscious rules too well and knew exactly how to play them. However, an additional element was in play: The Lost Boys. Felix would never degrade himself in front of them, humiliation causing him to shut down and give in right away.

Felix could sense it already, all the Lost Boys looking at him in confusion and disgust. Since he couldn't have Peter, Felix went to his father for comfort? If it wasn't for Felix's obvious crush on Peter, none of the Lost Boys would've thought their leader would be that desperate.

Slightly was first to speak up, narrowing his eyes with an accusatory look on his face, "You're dating Peter's father?"

"What's going on?" Nibs asked quietly, "Felix, what's going on?" He repeated, directing his question to their Lost Boy leader.

Felix kept his head down, flushed red with humiliation. He bit down on his lips, resisting the urge to just scream and run out. He felt Peter's hands on his shoulders, sitting him back down in his seat before pulling up a chair for himself and Wendy. Curly looked apprehensive of Peter's self-invitation into their circle of Lost Boys but relented when he saw the younger ones following his lead, joining their conversation.

"Anyway, you boys were talking about some Felix stories, right?" Peter inquired, trying to worm his way back into casual talk as if Malcolm was never there, "We've got some funny stories about The Rabbit Hole, don't we Felix?"

"… _haven't you done enough to me?_ " Felix mumbled, hands resting on his knees in fists.

Since Peter broke his heart that night, he hadn't tried to apologize once. He distracted Felix with cake and friends, berated him for choosing Malcolm, _humiliated him_ to keep him on a leash. If it wasn't for Peter toying with his feelings, Felix wouldn't have needed to make such a bitter deal with Malcolm in the first place.

"You have Wendy. You don't need me anymore," Felix added, still hanging his head and staring at the floor, "Why can't you just leave me be?"

Felix had a pleasant date with John, a good time with the Lost Boys, a surprisingly amusing morning with Malcolm but then Peter would appear whether in physical or mental and _destroy_ everything. Deep down, as much as he should've blamed Peter for his misery, Felix would always blame himself.

"You're my best friend."

" _God_ , I'm so sick of hearing you say that!" He looked to Peter, trying so hard to glare but failing immediately when he met Peter's piercing eyes. Years of being submissive robbed him of his ability to fight Peter, "All you've done is push me around today!"

Peter never knew what to do when Felix was angry at him so all he could do was return in like, "So you'd rather go frolicking around with my father then, is that right?"

" _Yes_ ," Felix hissed, strength suddenly returning to him as he spoke of Malcolm, "He might be a scoundrel but he's still _ten times_ the man you'll ever be!"

Regardless of whether that was meant to just spite Peter, Malcolm was immediately intrigued. He turned around on his stool, watching as Felix and Peter fought as the Lost Boys and Wendy witnessed the war.

Being compared to his father made him fume with hatred. He had to resist the urge to tackle Felix to the ground and tear him apart, " _I'm protecting you from him_ ," Peter growled, standing up as Felix did the same, "Are you so _stupid_ that you can't see that he's using you?"

"I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?" Felix snapped. Admitting this awful truth wrecked him as much as it wrecked Peter to be compared to his father. He loved a boy who only wanted to use him, who chose him from the orphanage because he was the easiest to manipulate, and Felix was so blind that it took John Darling to tell him.

Peter's eyes sharpened at the remark, teeth barring as Felix yelled at him for what felt like the first time in his entire life, "You think _you_ know him better than me? I saw what he did to my mother. I saw him bring back hookers in the middle of the night. Do you think you're anything to him? Don't be so _stupid_!"

 _Stupid._ Felix didn't know why it hurt so much for Peter to call him that, "You're hardly better than that."

" _Take that back_ ," Peter said, slowly and dangerously, "Felix. I said _take that back_. I am nothing like that son of a bitch," He snarled, gesturing towards Malcolm with a glare.

Felix folded his arms, looking away and refusing Peter's command, "So what if he uses me? At least he's honest about it and I can _use him_ without feeling guilty."

"You don't know what he's done to you," Peter cut in.

"Can't be any worse than what you've done to me," Felix hissed back.

"Felix…" Peter huffed out as if his name was painful to say. In front of Wendy. In front of all the Lost Boys. Peter grabbed Felix by the shoulders and shouted loud enough for his voice to echo throughout the diner, "He _raped_ you!"

Everything in the world was silenced save for the ticking of the diner clock. The Lost Boys couldn't move, couldn't take their eyes off Peter out of fear of meeting Felix's eyes. Wendy immediately felt sick, knowing the existence of the nightclub photo and the harsh history behind it.

Felix couldn't move, couldn't speak, completely mortified. He couldn't even tell if Peter was lying or not, his statement too cruel to be false.

"I knew my father used to pick you up from the orphanage while I was at school or camp. And all those times he'd pull you away while we played," Peter explained, still clutching onto Felix's shoulders, "I found you under my bed crying. You couldn't speak or move so I took you away from that place and I never went back," He glared at Malcolm, "I've always hated you. I wasn't even surprised to learn that you were a _sick, twisted scumbag_."

" _Watch your tongue, you ungrateful brat_!" Malcolm snarled, feral and wild as he slid off his stool and stalked towards Peter with an inhuman look on his face, "I did nothing of the sort. I would never hurt Felix!"

Peter scoffed loudly, so used to arguing with his father that all his words came naturally, "Then what did you do to make him cry like that? You still haven't answered me after all this time."

Amidst the screaming and the thrashing, everyone's attention swallowed by the Pan family's everlasting hatred for one another, everyone failed to notice Felix curled up on his seat, _breaking down_. The worst of the shock wasn't even the revelation but the knowledge that Peter withheld this information to protect Felix and was finally too fed up with him to keep quiet. While everyone was heated and yelling, the Lost Boys eventually provoked into standing up for Peter, Felix slipped out through the front door and ran as fast as he could.

This was his punishment for betraying Peter: To learn the awful truth about Malcolm, the cruelest of motives behind his actions. To lose the respect of John and Michael for playing along with the scoundrel's plan. To be manipulated and have his pride stripped from him in front of his old friends. He should've listened to Peter and stayed the hell away, should've held in his grief when Peter announced his engagement on his wedding then he wouldn't have ever run into Malcolm at the nightclub and started this mess.

But if he had done all that, Felix wondered if he'd be just as miserable, standing by the altar watching his beloved get married without a single chance of ever having him. Malcolm's poisonous deal: His virginity and servitude for Peter's affection seemed _pathetically_ like the better option.

 _Pathetic._ That's was the best way to describe everything.

He scrubbed away the tears on his face but stopped when he realized there was no one to put a show on for.

Everything was a haze and by the time it wore off, Felix was back at his apartment, jiggling the doorknob and searching his pockets for a key only to remember what had transpired this morning. He had no phone, no key, no money, absolutely nothing. Screaming in frustration, Felix beat his fists against the door, kicking at it violently before collapsing onto the ground taking deep, stuttering breaths. After everything that had happened to him, Felix just wanted to go home. Was that too much to ask?

When he wore himself out, Felix shut his eyes and slumped against the door, hoping he could just fall asleep right there.

"I've got your key," Malcolm's voice startled him awake, "Move over and I'll let you in."

Peter's words put fear into Felix's heart. He swallowed the anxious dryness in his throat and scrambled to his feet, glaring at Malcolm like he was a madman, "Stay the hell away from me."

"Felix, I can explain," Malcolm pleaded. Never had Felix seen the scoundrel look so _concerned_ , "Peter doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Peter wouldn't lie. Not about that," Felix replied. Peter may have found him crying without context but something awful must've happened, something Felix blocked from his memory, "What did you do to me?"

"Let's talk about this inside…"

All those invasive touches, the possessive behaviour, "Answer me!" Felix barked, his humiliation fueling his rage.

"You're hysterical right now," Malcolm cautioned, reaching out to him, "Let's just sit down inside and talk-"

"Of course I'm _fucking_ hysterical. All this time, you were playing along with 'taking my virginity' when you already took it!" _The fucking audacity of this bastard_ , "And I told Peter I was saving myself for him. And he _knew_. And, _oh god_ ," Felix's voice trembled as he broke off, rambling to himself as he scraped his hands over his face, teeth clenched and eyes shut tightly in pain.

He loved a man who used him. He trusted a man who raped him. He spurned a man who cherished him.

" _Felix…_ " Malcolm's hands were on his back, attempting to soothe but feeling like knives against Felix's trembling flesh.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Felix screamed, suddenly jerking forward and striking Malcolm across the face, "You've been playing me from the start! You're getting off on this, aren't you? You're wrecking _everything_!" He shouted, striking Malcolm over and over, rooted to the ground firmly ready for any tricks Malcolm might pull on him.

The scoundrel didn't fight, didn't even defend himself, taking Felix's strikes head-on. When he could no longer take it, his knees buckled under him and he knelt clumsily against the wall, half slumped against it. Felix backed off when Malcolm fell, reeling back against the wall as he rubbed at his knuckles absently. Neither of them spoke, both of them too occupied with catching their breaths while they kept their gazes to the floor.

When his temper settled, Felix was first to break their silence, puzzled that Malcolm hadn't stood back up yet despite catching his breath, "Why didn't you fight back?" He asked, voice still breathy.

Malcolm glanced up clumsily, swaying just a bit. His left eye was already purpling with a bruise, "You needed to vent and I'm here for you to use," He snickered innocently, wincing as he pulled a cut on his lip.

 _Peter would never say something like that_. Peter would've scolded him and fought back, taught him to hold in his rage just like his grief. Those kind words nearly made Felix forget why he was so angry in the first place. He nearly rebuked Malcolm, polluting those gentle words he so desperately wanted to hear till the scoundrel came forward, nearly lunging at him, before _embracing him_ as tightly as he could.

Felix twitched under his hold but couldn't find the heart to break away from the comfort it provided, "What are you-"

" _I didn't hurt you_ ," Malcolm muttered into Felix's shoulder, pressing the boy flush against his body as he tucked his head into the crook of his neck, "You're still a virgin. I swear."

Felix's heart screamed at him, reminding him that Peter would never lie to him. Everything else just wanted comfort and Malcolm always provided that. Shutting up the voice that Peter had trained in him, Felix returned Malcolm's embrace, taking in the man's sweet words to soothe himself.

 

"Ow, ow…" Malcolm groaned when Felix dabbed at the bruise over his eyes with rubbing alcohol.

"Suck it up," Felix muttered coolly but without bite, "It's not even that bad."

Malcolm pouted in response, playfully folding his arms and exaggerating a flinch, "So mean."

As he pressed a bandage over Malcolm's right cheek, he noted that he did quite a bit of damage to the older man. Felix would be lying if he said he wasn't pleased.

"What are you smirking about?" Malcolm asked, catching the tiniest of smirks on Felix's lips immediately.

Felix didn't respond, choosing to snicker to himself as he packed up the first aid kit and returned to his stool. Malcolm remained sitting at the edge of his bed, staring at Felix with a puzzled look. When the moment passed, however, Felix's humour slowly faded as well. Taking the cue, Malcolm's expression quieted in response.

A small, reluctant sigh, "You want to know what happened to you that day, right?" In the corner of his mind, Felix remembered weeping under Peter's bed. Other than that, everything was a blank, "It'll make you hate me."

Felix knew he should've been angry. Whatever it was, it couldn't have been good but Felix was just so tired of shouting, "There's nothing you could say to me that'll make it any worse," It had to be shame holding Malcolm back, preventing him from speaking the truth. Nothing else would unless he really did commit a truly awful act.

Malcolm watched him slowly, carefully choosing his words ,"I _slipped_."

Felix didn't feel as confused as he should've been. He assumed it was because the memory was dormant in his head so his mind didn't perceive it as a surprise, "What do you mean?"

The older man cast his eyes down for a moment. shame reflected in them before he looked back at Felix with more confidence, _trusting Felix_ , "When Peter was at his swimming lesson, I brought you home. I said we'd play a special game and then I kissed you."

Kissed him? He was beginning to realize how much of the world he filtered out, things that he took for granted being deciphered and dissected by John or Peter in seconds, "Why?"

Malcolm stared straight into Felix's eyes, their usual height difference would've made this impossible if it wasn't for their seating arrangements, "Because you loved me," Felix couldn't recall outside of the platonic declarations of 'I love you, Papa', words never meant to be taken romantically, "You were the only one who loved me."

Why wouldn't he have approved? Malcolm always treated him well and Felix did enjoy spending time with him. Felix couldn't understand why Malcolm made such a big deal of simple declarations.

Something darker than lust reflected in Malcolm's eyes, consuming Felix with a look as he took the boy's hands into his own, "I wanted you, Felix. And you wanted me. But you were still a boy, so I had to wait," He felt Felix's hands stiffened under his own, his face paling at his words. Trying to coax colour back into Felix's skin, Malcolm rubbed comforting circles on his wrist, "I screwed up though. I lost control and Peter took you away forever. But you're older now," He smiled kindly to him with a poisonously innocent grin, "And you've grown beautifully."

If it wasn't for the content of Malcolm's speech, Felix may have given in to the softness and warmth of his voice and presence. Instead, the sincerity with which he delivered his toxic words only made them harder to digest. Choking on his breath, a building pressure in his chest, Felix pulled his hands away harshly, " _What?_ " This had to be some sick joke, "I called you _Papa_. I never said I loved you romantically."

"But I did. I told you that I loved you several times when Peter wasn't there. And you liked it," Malcolm explained.

"I was a kid. How was I supposed to know that was what you meant?" Felix scoffed, horrified. He nearly laughed at the dumb expression on Malcolm's face, the darkest of humour reflecting in his eyes, "I couldn't even tie my shoelaces. You expected me to know what love was?"

The humour he tried to inject into their conversation died immediately when Malcolm took his hands once more, a quiet passion taking over his expression that was too intense to be an act, "I had no one, Felix. My parents abandoned me when I was little. My wife left me. No one in town trusted me. All I had was my son and I knew it would only be a matter of time until he hated me," His brows knitted together, eyes shining brightly captivating Felix as he spoke, "I had absolutely nothing. _And then you appeared_."

In a world filled with enemies, Felix was Malcolm's ally. Felix understood far too well what drove Malcolm to his warped conclusion: He was desperate to be loved. Felix couldn't tear away despite everything wrong with Malcolm, confusing a boy's platonic declarations as a romantic confession, lewd thoughts on a mere _child_. Felix just couldn't tear away because he was _so damn desperate as well_.

"You were just a child back then but so mature for your age," Malcolm rambled, reaching up to stroke Felix's cheek, "I couldn't do anything back then because you were still so young. But you're older now, I can love you properly."

"Love me?" Felix murmured, confused. What had Malcolm done to him that constituted as love? He humiliated him, harassed him, pleasured him against his will. He used his heartbreak against him, manipulating him into perverted deals to sate himself.

Felix should've have turned him down, should've been utterly disgusted. This scoundrel had no one to blame but himself for his loneliness, his disgusting morals and perverted intentions undoubtedly turning away his wife, his son, and ultimately the town. He couldn't do it, couldn't find it in his heart to remove the scoundrel from his life. This was the first man who wanted him, the only man to know and give him exactly what he needed. _Just like Peter_.

If Felix was any less pathetic, he would've turned Malcolm away. Instead, he stood up from his stool and shoved Malcolm onto the bed, "Stay with me tonight," He said, breath becoming shaky when Malcolm stopped blinking, gaze fixed on Felix's form and scrutinizing him behind his depthless eyes.

"Really?" Malcolm asked, honestly _confused_. The scoundrel was not as big a fool as Felix thought. Even he saw the perversion of his morals and priorities, fully expecting Felix to reject him.

Felix didn't have the energy to explain out loud, emotional exhaustion finally catching up to him as he removed his sweater and lay down on the bed, staring at Malcolm, "Yes," Saying nothing more, Felix lay on his side and closed his eyes, shutting up the echo of Peter's voice berating him.

Both of them were alone, shunned by a world for their abnormal, pathetic lifestyle, fools who loved too much and too wrongly, so desperate for love that they imagined it on the ones they wanted most. At the very least, Felix could relieve Malcolm of the pain that he experienced for just one night.

 

_Malcolm chuckled, voice low and sultry as he sat on the bed and pulled Felix onto his lap, "You know 'Follow the Leader', right?" Felix nodded eagerly, giggling as he bounced up and down on Malcolm's leg, "I'm going to be the leader and you just have to copy what I do, sound fun?"_

_"Um, okay?" Felix replied, not exactly sure what was special about that game. He played it with Peter all the time._

_A pleasant smile stretched across his lips, "Alright. I'll start," Malcolm declared as he reached forward and pinched Felix's nose playfully. Felix's face immediately twisted into a silly expression, sticking his tongue out at Malcolm before pulling his hand away, "Your turn," Malcolm laughed as Felix immediately grabbed his nose and squeezed in petty revenge._

_"Meanie!" Felix shouted._

_"Hey, hey, it's my turn now," Malcolm said, cooing as he sat Felix back down._

_Startling Felix, Malcolm leaned forward and pressed his lips to his cheek. It was odd to have the older man so close to him and even odder for him to press a kiss to his cheek. Only Peter was allowed to do that. When Malcolm backed off, Felix rubbed at his face absently trying to cover up the evident blush on his cheeks._

_"What's wrong?" Malcolm asked, nudging Felix's chin up so he could look at his face._

_Felix promptly covered up his face with his hands, too embarrassed to show off his blushing face, "Your beard tickles," He said, giggling shyly._

_In response, Malcolm took Felix's hand and gently scraped it against his chin, letting the boy accustom himself to the uneven, barbed hair on his face. Despite the initial unease, Felix quickly got used to the almost ticklish feel of his beard against his skin. He giggled a bit, closing his fist and tugging lightly, laughing when Malcolm's face scrunched in response._

_"It's your turn now," Malcolm said, sighing as Felix stood up and planted a sloppy kiss right on his cheek._

_Felix dropped back onto Malcolm's knee, bouncing around playfully wondering what Malcolm would do next. He was utterly taken aback when Malcolm leaned in once more_ and kissed him _. A soft, moist pressure right upon his lips lingering far longer than it should have. Felix's brows furrowed in confusion and he was frozen when Malcolm backed away. With the older man's inquiring look on Felix's reaction, the small boy immediately ducked his head trying to hide from his obstinate stare._

_He'd only seen people kiss in movies. It was meant to be something romantic for people who ride off together in the sunset. Malcolm wasn't anything like that to him. It didn't make any sense at all!_

_"Was that fun?" Malcolm asked, voice quiet so he wouldn't frighten the boy._

_Felix was covering his mouth, unable to look at Malcolm. He stopped bouncing, unsure what to do next._

_"Don't you like me, Felix?" Malcolm asked, stroking Felix's hair lovingly._

_Felix nodded, "I love Papa."_

_A kind smile, "I love you too. I would never do anything to hurt you."_

_"Mm."_

_"Then everything is okay?"_

_"…Yes, Papa."_

_Malcolm leaned forward, shutting his eyes, "Then it's your turn."_

_Felix fell silent again but could not find any contradictions in Malcolm's words. Trusting the scoundrel and pressing forward, Felix sat upon his knees and kissed Malcolm's lips, his beard itching his face. An arm came around his back, securing him when he began to wobble. The warm, steadying pressure on his back didn't feel comforting at all._

_"That's a good boy," Malcolm said, his voice now breathy and soft. His expression dropped when he noticed apprehension on Felix's face, unsure and frightened, "What's wrong?"_

_"We're not supposed to kiss," Felix squeaked out._

_"Kissing is for people who love each other," Malcolm said in a disgustingly fatherly tone, "You love me, right Felix?" The boy nodded weakly, so very confused and unable to figure out why, "So there's no problem."_

_Malcolm leaned forward once more, lips pressing just as softly as before. In confusion, Felix parted his lips and immediately regretted it as he felt Malcolm's tongue breach his lips and enter his mouth, the sour, salty taste of flesh and alcohol forever etched in the boy's mind. The young boy tore away violently, "No. I don't want to," He shoved at the arm restraining him, frightened when Malcolm just wouldn't_ let go _, "Where's Peter? I want to see Peter."_

_"You're just a bit scared because it's new. Don't be afraid. Papa will never hurt you," Malcolm mumbled out, words comforting and sickening at the same time. He kept a firm hold on Felix's shoulders, trying to deter the boy from squirming away. When Felix refused to relent, out of frustration, Malcolm grabbed his flailing wrist tightly. Immediately, the boy burst into tears, screaming and wailing as Malcolm released him and scurried away._

_"Oh Felix," Malcolm sighed, nearly biting through his lip, "I didn't mean to scare you. I lost control. Please, don't be afraid of-" Felix flew from his grasp the moment Malcolm laid a hand on him. He reached for the boy, fighting the urge to flat out chase him and scare him even more, "Felix!"_

_In a delirium, Felix nearly tripped down the stairs as he scuttled away, desperately searching for a hiding spot. Terrified as he heard Malcolm's footsteps heading down the stairs, he crawled under the couch and tucked himself into the furthest corner, wailing into his hands._


	6. A Bad, Bad Man

Felix shuddered as he awoke, his skin tingling where Malcolm had his hands slipped under his shirt. They rested right on his belly, warming him. Grumbling, eyes still shut from drowsiness, he shoved Malcolm's hands away and clumsily pushed him back. Grumbling back at him sleepily, Malcolm promptly shoved his hands back into Felix's shirt, enjoying the heat of his skin far too much.

" _Let go_ ," Felix mumbled, trying to wrestle Malcolm's hands out of his shirt.

In response, Malcolm slipped his hands in further, hugging him with one arm and tucking one hand at his armpit while the other remained splayed over his stomach, "Don't wanna. It feels good," He whined into the back of Felix's head.

Irritated, Felix rooted himself onto the bed before giving Malcolm one good shove, rolling him off the bed and right onto the floor in a huff. He sat up slowly, peering down at Malcolm who shot him a coy look.

"You're so mean to me, love," Malcolm cooed, propping up his chin with one arm on the edge of the bed.

Felix looked away, annoyed by himself, "Stop calling me love. We're not lovers," It was a blatant declaration of Felix _using_ Malcolm, shoving him onto the bed and laying beside him out of _comfort_. They weren't lovers and Felix hadn't forgotten his sickening morals, not by a long shot.

Humming with acknowledgement, Felix could feel Malcolm climbing onto the bed, clutching him from behind and embracing him gently, "That's alright by me. Feel free to use me in whatever way you want," He cooed into Felix's ear, kissing the shell of it gently, "Anyone ever offer that before?"

Felix let out a sad, awkward chuckle. He'd offered that to Peter always: He was Peter's best friend, Peter's accomplice, Peter's punching bag, Peter's medic, Peter's bodyguard, _Peter's best man_. He shrugged absently, breaking away from Malcolm as he picked up a random set of clothes from the clean laundry pile, "I guess John did."

Almost immediately after he said that, Malcolm climbed off the bed and latched onto him from behind once more, "That Darling boy doesn’t suit you," He said over his shoulder, "Too boring. Too simple."

Felix shook Malcolm off again, heading to the bathroom to take a quick shower, an unconscious urge to wash off Malcolm's touch. He trusted Malcolm wouldn't mess around with his apartment, the man had nearly all of yesterday to do that. Shucking off his clothes after locking the door, Felix stepped into the stall and started the shower, centering himself under the water and combing it through his blond locks till they were thoroughly darkened by the moisture.

 _What the hell am I doing? Why did I let him stay?_ Felix rested his head against the tiled wall, letting the water spray down over his back. He always imagined he was _better_ than this, that when Peter left him, he'd be able to live without him. He was wrong, _always wrong_ and now he'd made another mistake: Inviting a man who clearly had ill intentions into his home. There was no happy ending to come out of them, nothing in the long term to look forward to. But, in the short term, the comfort was good enough to muffle the pain of losing Peter and Felix couldn't stop himself.

Felix sighed heavily, stepping back into the spray and shutting his eyes as he rinsed his face. His eyes snapped open and he barely had time to turn as the curtain was pulled open and Malcolm stepped in naked, immediately smothering him with an embrace. The contact of hot, bare skin against one another was foreign, frightening, and exhilarating all at once. Felix didn't have long to think on it though, Malcolm's voracious kiss devouring his thoughts. The man had a natural way with pleasure that could render a virgin needy for sex.

When his senses finally returned, Felix tore away with a loud gasp, shoving Malcolm backwards into the wall facing the showerhead, "What the hell is wrong with you!" Felix barked, stumbling back till he hit the opposite wall wiping at his mouth.

"I thought I'd take a shower with you," Malcolm replied with the most casual expression and shrug he could manage, "So we could share the water. Water bill and all."

Felix growled low, stepping forward in the already cramped stall, "Get the hell out of-" Only now, _facing Malcolm_ , did Felix really take in the entire image. He started at Malcolm's face, hair damp and shaped by the shower, eyes trailing downwards to the thick curls on his chest, down his slightly pudgy form, all the way to the second patch of curls before reaching his…

Eyes wide, mouth gaping, " _Holy hell_..."

A chuckle came from Malcolm, informing Felix indirectly that he'd been _ogling_ for too long. His eyes immediately returned to his face, beet red and totally flustered, "Like what you see?" Trying to act indignant but really just desperate to hide his face, Felix jerked away with a 'hmph' and turned back around to face the shower. Unperturbed, Malcolm's eyes scanned down Felix's body and landed on his fully exposed rear, "I know I do…"

Appalled, Felix tore away and tried to leave, opening the curtain only for Malcolm to hook an arm around his waist and pull him back, "Come on, love. It'll be fun. I'll wash your back. You wash mine."

Given the insistence of Malcolm's grip, it was clear the scoundrel wasn't going to take no for an answer. Relenting, Felix pushed Malcolm back and closed the curtain, picking up the soap and creeping around Malcolm, "I'll wash you first," Less he saw of the man's front, the better.

Malcolm certainly did not make it easy for him, _groaning_ and sighing in utterly lewd ways as Felix simple scrubbed at his back with a soapy towel. He rolled his eyes at first but eventually laughed when Malcolm continued to fake his noises.

"Do you always do that when you're taking a shower?" Felix asked as he wiped down his shoulders.

"You'll have to join me for more showers to find out," Malcolm replied, looking over and winking at him. Felix rolled his eyes again, the slightest smile on his face as he scrubbed at his arms, "So, were you impressed?" Malcolm couldn't resist a sly giggle at the end, wiggling his eyebrows in Felix's direction.

Felix scoffed, thinking of something to say to spite him, "Peter's bigger."

It came out involuntarily. Always, _always_ , he'd praise Peter when he could and only now did Felix realize how conditioned that habit was. Even in the face of Malcolm, Felix let something like that slip out. He froze, frightened as Malcolm peered over his shoulder with a not-so-amused look.

The scoundrel turned around slowly, stepping forward till Felix was pressed against the tile ceiling. He pressed his palms on either side of his head, leaning in with half-lidded eyes and soft, parted lips wet with shower water, his voice set to seduce, "Bigger doesn't mean better," He said in a low, husky tone, smirking when Felix shuddered under him, "Want me to prove it to you?"

He'd been pushed and pulled by this scoundrel long enough. Finding his ground, Felix rooted himself down and took the man by the hips, just barely pressing them together. He couldn't deny the slightest feel of _power_ when Malcolm's eyes glowed at his actions.

A smirk stretched across Malcolm's face, unconsciously summoning a smile over Felix's as well. This was the first time he really played along aggressively against Malcolm's seduction and both were clearly pleased with the result. Malcolm groaned into Felix's ear, displaying his pleasure before stepping back and taking the soapy towel from Felix's hands, "It's your turn now."

Outside of a couple stumbles in the cramped shower stall, the two got out relatively intact, dressing themselves before Malcolm rolled up his towel and snapped it against Felix's back. The blond yelped in surprise, staring at Malcolm with an incredulous look before taking a towel of his own and smothering the scoundrel.

" _Get over here_ ," Malcolm cooed as he tackled Felix after the boy got dressed, nuzzling him lovingly.

Felix laughed at the annoying but affectionate gesture, pulling Malcolm's shirt over his head before jerking it down his body, "Get dressed already. We've been in here for too long," Nearly twenty minutes simply getting dressed because Malcolm couldn't stop messing around.

"Yes _love_ ," Malcolm chimed in a sing-song voice, pulling his shirt over his head as he followed after Felix dotingly.

For just a brief moment, Felix was happier than he had been for a while, second only to the day he went to the beach with Peter. The comparison itself was both terrifying and elating. He expected to spend the rest of the morning with Malcolm, flip on the TV and watch a bit of news before the scoundrel had some stupid idea about going out. With that expectation in his mind, Felix turned into the main room and his heart nearly stopped.

Peter Pan was sitting at the foot of his bed, legs crossed, arms folded, watching Felix exit the bathroom with his father with absolute contempt.

Peter's name caught on Felix's tongue, refusing to slip past his lips lest Peter respond with a seething remark. Malcolm did not feel the same reluctance and threw his arms around Felix's waist, smothering kisses into his neck, "How about I get some breakfast for us, love?" He didn't wait for a reply, flashing Peter a quick wink before shucking his shoes on and walking out the door.

 _He was so sure Peter couldn't do a thing to take Felix back_. His confidence always infuriated Pan.

Without the scoundrel at his side, Felix's posture immediately dropped, eyes cast downward and expression _defeated_. Peter's anger faded as well, replaced with concern and the slightest bit of irritation. He opened his mouth to speak but clicked his jaw shut shortly after, fearing that he would intimidate Felix if he had the first word.

Felix remained quiet, peering around the room trying to distract himself. He didn't sit despite the stool being perfectly positioned in front of Peter. He could barely move, "Sh-Shouldn't you be in class?" Felix asked shakily, still not making eye contact.

Peter shrugged, expression soft in a way Felix had never seen before, "It's not the same without you. I need you to take notes."

"You have Wendy's notes," Felix replied, voice trying to maintain his usual disinterested tone.

"Her notes are boring, just straight up text. At least you put little stick figure comics in the margins to entertain me," Peter remarked, half-smile on his face that dropped when he noticed Felix remained indifferent, "Say something."

Felix's eyes drifted over to Peter, acknowledging the softness in his expression but only feeling bitterness the longer he stared. Ten years ago, he would've never imagined _hating Peter_ but now, it seemed like a distant possibility.

"The boys still want to hang out with you," Peter remarked, trying to start a conversation, "Tootles got a fiancée and Nibs has a girlfriend. Imagine that, right?" Felix didn't reply, absently scratching at a freckle on his arm. Processing sadness was never a strong suit for Peter and he slipped as he spoke, "Damn it Felix, stop ignoring me!"

The flinch was visible, as if Peter's words physically made him hurt. Immediately Peter regret his choice but it was too late as Felix responded, " _I can't be your friend anymore._ "

"It was just one fight," Peter replied, tone almost desperate, "We'll work it out. We've worked it out this whole time, haven't we?"

"We've never worked anything out. I just kept my mouth shut and let you do whatever you want."

"I never forced you to do any of that."

 _Never forced?_ It was true. Peter never forced him. He chose the most miserable orphan to be his friend because he knew that boy would be forever loyal to him, knew that he had no one else to run to. He swallowed harshly, never able to meet Peter's eyes for more than seconds at a time, "Youmade me your best man," The greatest betrayal of all and Peter hadn't even noticed.

"I didn't force you to. You could've said no," Peter replied.

" _No,_ I couldn't," Felix mumbled.

Peter shook his head, "Don't give me that. I didn't force you to not have sex. You could've had anyone. And I didn't force you to leave the orphanage. You did that on your own. You can't just blame-" He froze, watching Felix crumble behind a silent mask and it tore him apart far more than he expected. Anymore and Felix would be gone, _empty_. There was nothing Peter could say, nothing that he hadn't already said. He wanted to keep Felix as he moved on in life but their paths were diverging. With all of his wit and intelligence, all Peter could choke out was a pathetic gasp, "I'm sorry."

It should've meant the world to him, Peter's apology. Lost Boys don't apologize. But Felix could feel nothing but contempt for himself and Peter, "I don't want to be pushed around anymore."

The instant Peter stood, Felix reflexively backed off, casting his eyes to the ground once more. Peter reached for his wrist and the blond jerked away, denying him. He wasn't going anywhere with Peter, not this time.

" _Felix_ ," Peter's voice was low. It was the scolding tone he always took when Felix resisted an order. The blond said nothing, pressing himself up against the wall with his hands folded under his arms, "Then you're listening to _him_?"

As miserable as it sounded, Felix nodded back yes.

"Even after hearing what he did to you?"

"He didn't rape me," Felix said, quiet, solemn, "He didn't hurt me at all."

Peter fought the urge to snarl but the mention of his father always made his teeth clench, "I know what I saw. You were crying so hard under my bed; you couldn't even speak."

"He _kissed_ me. I was too young so I was scared," Felix replied, trying to reason with himself that what Malcolm had actually done was any better than what Peter claimed, "He wouldn't have done anything more."

Peter was shaking his head, "He _kissed_ you. Does that even sound right? If I didn't stop him, he would've done far worse. I know it. He's a liar and a cheat."

"So are you."

The silence that settled between them was unbearable. Peter couldn't deny the slightest _fracture_ in his heart at his words. He was unconsciously shaking his head, swallowing down the shame of letting Felix down. _Don't say that._

Peter tore away, wandering beside Felix as he grumbled, "I should've never brought you to his house."

Felix sighed heavily, fighting the urge to sink into the ground and disappear, "If you thought he raped me, why did you make me drive you there?" He knew there was no satisfactory reply to his question, knew anything Peter said would only upset him, but the smallest part of him still believed Peter Pan always made the right choice and would tell him something reasonable.

" _I forgot_ ," Peter replied dumbly, "It had been so long. It slipped my mind."

To be forgotten by Peter, Felix expected that to be his fate, "Can you just…go?" Felix murmured, slumping slightly against the wall.

No more tricks. No more lies. And the truth was unsatisfactory. Nothing Peter could do would change Felix's mind. Defeated, Peter walked past Felix slowly, begging for his beloved friend to call him back, _anything._

"I'll… see you at the wedding. Okay?" Felix whispered.

Peter froze, peering over his shoulder at Felix's curious farewell. He turned around suddenly, so desperate to say something to fix this. For a brief moment, the same look appeared in Felix's eyes as if realizing that all of his doubts on his beloved leader were illusions. Felix straightened his back, desperately waiting for words he wanted for so long.

"You're still my best friend."

_…Ha._

Felix hung his head, beginning to wonder why he bothered to hope. He sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the opposite wall while Peter walked away. He knew Peter was talking, trying to coax something out of him but Felix just shut him out and waited for him to leave. Fourteen years of being Peter's best friend _gone_ as if they meant absolutely nothing at all. Felix felt empty like he'd wasted all of his life following after a shadow, deluding himself into thinking he had a future with him. He scraped a hand through his hair, gripping at the locks till he thought they'd tear as he fought the urge to scream, wail, _cry_.

Why shouldn't he cry? It was only Peter who forced him not to.

He only let out on dry, hoarse huff before the door opened once more, "I got breakfast," Malcolm's voice called from the door, shutting down Felix's hope that Peter would've came back for him. He really had to stop putting so much faith in Peter, "Hm? What's wrong?" Malcolm said as he approached. He didn't even need to read the distress on Felix's face; he had no doubt that Felix's encounter with Peter would've gone poorly.

Snickering lightly, Malcolm put the paper bag aside and scooped Felix up into his arms, "I know what you need," He chimed before dragging Felix to the top of the bed, seating him against the pillows. Felix lay there docile and limp, watching Malcolm sort through his belongings before producing a TV tray. Winking as he waved the tray at Felix, he set it up over his lap and dumped the contents of the paper bag on top, greasy breakfast fast foods with an extra side of home fries.

"Breakfast in bed," Malcolm declared, sliding up beside Felix on the bed.

If his mood was better, Felix would have laughed at the overly sweet gesture given their toxic relationship. He ate the breakfast sandwich slowly, waiting for Malcolm to startle him into choking on his food with a groping hand. It never came and perplexed by the lack of action, Felix peered over to Malcolm who remained laying on his side staring at Felix lovingly. He shot a wink to the boy, snickering again.

"Hungry?" Felix asked, gesturing to him with the sandwich. The older man promptly shot up from where he lay, latching onto the sandwich with his mouth and taking a huge bite out of it. He reclined back on the bed, chewing away happily while Felix watched him, amused, "I'll take that as a yes."

The older man shot him a smile, wiping the sauce from his lips before returning to his previous position.

Felix had finished up his meal and drink, moving onto the fries, and still, _Malcolm did nothing_. He never laid a hand on him, said no cruel words, just sat there and watched. Felix knew better than to question it, knowing that would shatter the peace, but he couldn't stop himself, "What are you up to?"

"What do you mean?" Malcolm asked, too happy.

In another time, Felix may have imagined sharing breakfast in bed with Peter. Felix would've come home frustrated and upset, texting Peter a hundred incoherent messages, and the boy would come over with breakfast the next day, sharing it with him on the bed ending with Peter eating up everything and tossing fries at his best friend.

Unconsciously, Felix pushed the fries aside on the tray, "I don't need your pity."

Felix didn't like the look on Malcolm's face at the remark like the older man could see right through his words and realize the denial. Shifting up on the bed, Malcolm reached forward and gave Felix's a gentle pat on the cheek, " _Just use me_. I don't mind. Use me in any way you want until you're happy again."

"Use you?" Felix pondered, thinking nothing but dirty thoughts at the remark. His mind began to wander though, "Like, a stand-in for Peter?" He murmured, ashamed. His rascally nature, mischievous lifestyle, coy remarks, _stunning eyes_ , he really was so much like his son that it was almost difficult to separate the two.

Malcolm didn't seemed deterred by the remark. If anything, he looked utterly satisfied as he swept Felix's hair back behind his ears, " _Better_ than Peter," He moved in, putting the tray to the side as he spread his hand over Felix's chest, kneading at his shirt as he whispered huskily into his ear, "Peter's the _cheaper_ version of me, less of everything, inadequate. You give him the world and he won't give anything back. _Not me though_ , I always reciprocate," Everything Peter is, plus everything Felix wanted.

Rolling his head back to give Malcolm better access to his neck, Felix groaned loudly as he encircled Malcolm with his arms and allowed the older man to continue peppering his ear and neck with nips and kisses. The familiar feel of Malcolm pleasing him always felt _good_. There was little else Felix could say to describe it.

Accepting the man without words, Felix let Malcolm bundle him up in his coat, smothering him with his spicy cologne before sitting the boy against his chest between his legs. Felix had the TV remote in hand, flipping through the channels while Malcolm smeared kisses all over his neck.

Felix let out a small moan when Malcolm latched onto his ear and pulled gently, "I like that," Malcolm hummed with approval, continuing to nibble on the shell and tug on it lightly with his lips. There was the slightest bit of pride at Malcolm's ministrations, being able to command the scoundrel to do whatever he said.

Malcolm continued nibbling on his ear while Felix absently enjoyed it, focused on the cartoon he had flipped to on his TV. He squirmed when he felt Malcolm's hands on his hips, tracing upward and memorizing the curve of his body.

"What?" Felix mumbled, bundling himself up tighter in Malcolm's coat as the man continued to trace his body.

"Just thinking about how small you used to be," Malcolm replied, nudging at Felix's knees with his feet, "Could swaddle you in my jacket. Just look at you now," He giggled, hands drifting down Felix's arms and weaving his fingers between his own, "I invested in the right _boy_."

Felix groaned at the taboo remark, shaking Malcolm's hand off before crossing his arms under his jacket, "Don't say such disgusting things," The idea that Malcolm had lusted for him since he was little was sickening no matter how many times the scoundrel would try to defend it.

"It's not disgusting," Malcolm replied, snappy but soft, "I waited for you to grow up and when I made a mistake, I regretted it till the day I saw you again _,_ " He rolled Felix onto his side against his chest so he could face him, "I yearned for more than a decade and I'll continue to yearn for you till the day I die."

_How many people in the world have ever had someone say that to them?_

The slightest heat pooled in Felix's stomach as he felt his knees tremble at the sound of Malcolm's eloquent accent weaving through his words. Blushing and speechless, Felix looked away with a tiny smile trying to distract himself with anything.

Malcolm giggled at the adorable reaction, nudging Felix back up so their eyes could meet, "And now that I have you. I'll never let you go," With a snicker, Malcolm's hands smoothed down Felix's back, one hand stopping at the small of his back while the other continued past his hips and over the curve of his ass.

Smirking, Felix took Malcolm's invasive hand and pulled it back up, "You don't have me," He taunted with a coy look, climbing up on his knees and straddling the scoundrel's hips. There was a tinge of pride when Felix felt the heat of Malcolm's cock through the fabric of his pants. To exert such a _power_ over Malcolm was disturbingly satisfying, "I have you. Isn't that what you said?"

Malcolm returned the smirk, eyes black with lust and shining eagerly, "I'm here for your pleasure," He swung his head back and groaned when Felix reached behind him and took the bulge of Malcolm's pants into his left hand, applying just enough pressure to straddle the line of pain and pleasure. His eyes widened as Felix crept down his body, sitting down on his knees as he unbuttoned his jeans, " _Felix_ ," He groaned, reaching forward to ruffle his hair, "What have I done to deserve this?" He flexed one leg, shifting it till he could press his knee _hard_ between Felix's legs.

Felix immediately lifted his hand from Malcolm's jeans and clasped it onto the flexing leg, "No. Just you this time," Malcolm always used pleasure to assert his dominance over Felix; it was Felix's turn to exert power over the scoundrel. Although, by the aroused, _smug_ look on Malcolm's face, it was hard to tell who was in charge.

Crossing his arms behind his head, Malcolm shut his eyes and stretched back, "Do as you please."

Paying no mind, Felix peeled back his jeans, unsurprised to see the half-hard bulge peeking through his underwear. He was aware of the flush in his cheek and his fingers trembled anxiously as he palmed the bulge through the thin layer of cloth, shuddering when Malcolm moaned and the heat _twitched_ under his fingers.

" _Oh_ , that's good," Malcolm hummed as Felix continued petting at the bulge, his fingers becoming more confident and insistent as he continued. He opened one eye, watching Felix carefully as the boy continued rubbing him through his briefs, "There's nothing to be afraid of," Malcolm joked, sitting up when Felix glared at him.

"I'm not scared," Felix choked out. Although, the obscene amount of heat bleeding through the thin material and into his hands was certainly intimidating, "I've never done this for anyone before."

"Not even for Peter when he was bored?"

Felix growled at the statement, suddenly digging his nails in and loving it when Malcolm's breath hitched and his body jolted, "No. He never asked me to. He had others for pleasure."

Peter was no virgin. Felix knew that well enough but he certainly never liked to think about it. He had caught Peter one time in the backseat of his car with their geography teacher, a handsome dark-haired man with equally stunning eyes who Peter carefully seduced over several tutorial sessions. He never considered the man a lover; he was simply entertainment as Malcolm was supposed to be for Felix.

A snicker from Malcolm cut through Felix's thoughts and the boy looked up, "What?"

"Are you telling me that my son never used you for pleasure?" Malcolm asked, giddy with this new piece of evidence.

Felix shook his head, "Never," He'd had plenty of consorts, even a couple lost boys had been pulled along by Peter when he was bored. But never Felix.

Malcolm paused to groan when Felix's fingers caught at his foreskin, thumbing it through the fabric, "Ever asked him why he never asked you for pleasure?"

Felix shook his head again, "Peter had standards. Probably thought I'd be no good at it."

"Or, maybe," Malcolm said, caressing the back of Felix's hand, "You meant more to him than a quick romp and he knew if he took you, he may end up falling for you."

" _Stop_ ," Felix snapped, eyes down while his hand continued to grope at Malcolm's erection. He had said those words to himself a hundred times, hoping one day Peter wouldn't be able to resist and finally take him, "Please stop talking about Peter."

Stretching back, Malcolm grasped the back of Felix's shirt and pulled him against his chest, laying on the bed with the boy tucked into the crook of his neck. With his other hand, he pulled down his briefs, framing Felix's hands as he guided it around his erection. At the feel of hot, throbbing skin under his bare fingers, Felix shuddered and tried to pull away only for Malcolm to restrain him.

"Anything you want," Malcolm whispered, low and huskily, into his ear before taking Felix's hand and quickening the pace, jerking him off fervently with the blonde's hand squeezed against him.

Gripping into Malcolm's shirt with his other hand, Felix whined and whimpered as he was forced to jerk Malcolm off at an increasingly intense pace, fingers unintentionally memorizing all of the folds and curves of Malcolm's cock. The sweaty flesh and drooling tip of his erection stained Felix's hands and he absently wondered if his hands would be clean ever again.

Moaning into his ear, Malcolm bucked his hips forward scraping the head of his erection against Felix's stomach, " _Oh god Felix_ ," He cried, shutting his eyes and tossing his head back, "Do you know how long I've waited for this?"

"That's just so… wrong," Felix choked out, whimpering when Malcolm suddenly grabbed the back of his head and forced him into a kiss, crushing their lips together violently.

Malcolm wasn't discouraged by Felix's remark in the slightest, merely jerking himself off harder with Felix's hands sandwiched between his flesh, "The best things in life are," With a controlled grunt and sigh, Malcolm came all over Felix's hand, collecting the drops that landed elsewhere and wiping it down the back of his wrist. Despite the boy being on top and his mind hazy from the orgasm, Malcolm knew he was the one in charge, the one dominating Felix _always_. Giggling, he rolled Felix onto the bed and wiped his hand off on the sheets.

Growling at the gesture, he'd have to clean the sheets after this, Felix shifted away from Malcolm only for the scoundrel to scoot over on the bed towards him, "Put that away," Felix snapped with a chuckle, gesturing to the bundle of clothes wrapped around Malcolm's thighs. When the older man remained where he was staring dreamily at Felix, the blond rolled his eyes and tucked him away, pulling up his briefs before refastening his jeans.

"Thank you, love," Malcolm said, snickering as Felix glared at him. He cautioned a hand forward, lightly sweeping Felix's hair back and petting him kindly on the cheek, adopting Peter's loving gesture, " _Fourteen years_ ," He whispered suddenly, "I loved you for fourteen years and here you are, _almost mine_."

 _Fourteen years_ , he loved Peter for fourteen years as well. What he had done for Peter's sake, that was _love,_ "You know you don't really love me, don't you?"

Malcolm looked irritated, almost hurt at Felix's remark, "Of course I do."

Felix hadn't forgotten Malcolm's broken logic, how the older man had taken words meant to be platonic and innocent and twisted them with lustful meaning, "You wanted me when I was a boy. How is that love?"

Intrigued and challenged, Malcolm tongued at his cheek momentarily before his eyes narrowed in calculation, "How is that _not_ love? It wasn't your looks that pulled me over, or your wealth or reputation. I loved you solely for _you_ ," A hand glided under his chin, lifting Felix's head gently.

"I was a _child_ ," Felix repeated. By all definitions, Malcolm was a _pedophile_ yet the older man just kept dancing around it.

"I didn't love you _because_ you were a boy. I loved you _despite_ it. And I was more than willing to wait till you were older," Malcolm explained, "Would you have done the same for Peter?"

 _Of course he would. Anything for Peter_ , "Please stop bringing up Peter."

"Then stop questioning my feelings for you," Malcolm retorted, "I have no interest in little boys. Just you."

Shaking his head, Felix replied, "I still don't believe you."

"We really need to work on your pillow talk," Malcolm muttered under his breath.

"All you wanted from me was _sex_ ," Felix accused, remembering all those times Malcolm weakened his resolve with words before pinning him down and rutting him into heat, "You expect me to believe that was love?"

Malcolm gave him a casual shrug as if his question was something stupid and obvious, "I thought that was what you wanted. Comfort, right? That's why you went to that nightclub. Granted, I knew you'd never ask so I assumed," Felix didn't reply, afraid to argue in case Malcolm was right, "And if you fought back properly or shouted, I would've stopped."

"You wouldn't have," Felix snapped back, pausing before beginning to wonder if he really ever fought back honestly. He certainly fought him, struggling and shouting here and there, but it never got to a point where Felix was desperate.

Malcolm read all of that and smirked as he closed in, lips barely touching as he spoke, "It was _good_ though, wasn't it? I certainly thought so," Felix choked out a chuckle, wanting so badly to toss it back into his face. He bit down on his lip and shook his head, laughing as Malcolm threw an arm around him and pulled him close, "Respect your elders, boy," He giggled as Felix squirmed in his grasp, "If it'll make you trust me, until I win our wager, I won't touch you against your will. If you tell me to stop, I will stop."

For a moment, Felix had no idea what Malcolm was talking about, "Wager?" It came back to him slowly, their poisonous deal for Peter's affection. He tore away immediately when he remembered, eyes cast to the side as the image of Peter walking out the door flashed in his mind, "Deal's over."

"What?" Malcolm inquired.

"Peter and I aren't friends anymore. The deal's over. You lost."

Malcolm grumbled in response, sitting up as he contemplated Felix's unhappy expression and decidedly _disliked_ it, "Deal's not over. I can still get him to admit to his feelings and break up his wedding."

"He made his choice already," Felix replied.

"I'll get you what you want," Malcolm murmured into his ear, voice low and enticing as his body glided over Felix's gently, "I'll get you _everything_ you want. I promise," His eyes darkened, his lips parted, his spicy, earthy scent catching on Felix's nose as he closed in with the most seductive voice he could muster, "You thought you could keep your virginity from me that easily?" A slow, sexy snicker slipped from his lips. Felix never imagined he could hear something like that from Malcolm, "When I take your virginity, I'll make it the most pleasurable night of your life."

Not a single witty remark fluttered through Felix's mind, all he could see, hear, and feel was Malcolm and his thoughts adjusted accordingly. He smiled absently, his tragedy with Peter smothered by Malcolm's presence. He had spent so long loving; it was due time for him to finally be loved.

Silently, Felix found himself back in Malcolm's embrace, laying against his chest as the two watched a rerun of Masterchef on TV. Felix never was a huge fan of reality shows but Malcolm couldn't get enough of them. Distracting himself, he walked his fingers up Malcolm's chest stopping at the collar of his shirt before curiously tugging at the curly patch of hairs.

Malcolm's eyes left the screen, watching Felix as the boy pulled at his chest hair, "What are you doing?"

"Bored," Felix replied, successfully plucking a hair and chuckling when Malcolm flinched.

"Hmm," Malcolm hummed as he thought about what to do to sate Felix's boredom, his hand stroking at his thin hips as he wondered, "Ah, I got it!" He declared, _slapping_ _Felix's ass_ as he did. Immediately Felix smacked him over the head though Malcolm largely ignored it, "Let's go out for a bit and then we can return to my place and I'll make you dinner."

"Just because you watch Masterchef doesn't mean you know how to cook," Felix smugly retorted.

"Shush you, my cooking is delicious," Malcolm commented, sitting up and stretching before retrieving his jacket from the end of the bed.

Felix snickered from the bed, laying still as he watched Malcolm fix his clothes. He remembered Malcolm cooked a lot for him when he was little, clearly trying to buy his favour with food. Peter was never happy with it though, constantly demanding something else regardless of whatever his father produced.

He almost missed when Malcolm purposely went out of his way to knock John's teddy bear to the floor. Rolling his eyes, Felix sat up from the bed and stretched his arms up, "You really don't like John."

"Of course I don't like John," Malcolm replied, an absent, soft smile on his face, "He wants you just as I want you. I get jealous easily."

It was disturbing how flippant Malcolm regarded his jealousy. Felix still shuddered at the memory of Malcolm hunting him down in the bathroom for flirting with John, "I don't like it when you're jealous," He murmured, peering over to Malcolm, "You're scary."

"Only because I want you so badly," Malcolm reasoned, creeping up beside Felix and smothering him again with another hug. It was clear Felix wasn't satisfied with his reasoning, pouting with his arms crossed, "I promise it won't ever happen again, alright?" He smeared kisses all along his neck, giggling when he felt Felix playfully squirm under him.

Shrugging the scoundrel off with a pleasant smile, Felix retrieved a pair of jeans and sweater from his closet. He nearly left to the bathroom to change till he saw his phone on the bedstead along with a spare key to his apartment. He swallowed harshly, reminded that he'd cut his final ties from Peter.

"It'll be fun," Malcolm's voice cut through his thoughts, "I promise."

Shaking the thought off, Felix looked to Malcolm with a sad smile, nodding quickly before disappearing into the bathroom.

 

"You know," Felix remarked as he followed beside Malcolm, "When you said it would be fun, _shopping for groceries_ was the last thing I expected."

In response, Malcolm threw an arm around Felix's waist, "But I get to spend it with you. And that's always fun," He cheered, giggling as he dabbed the blonde's nose, "Anyway, help me pick the oysters."

"Oysters?" Felix pondered, looking down at the wide selection over a bed of ice.

"Yep, going to get a filet of salmon as well," Malcolm replied, checking a crinkled sheet of paper from his pocket, "Ah, I forgot the pomegranates. Remind me to head back over to the produce area."

Oysters, salmon, and pomegranates? Whatever he was planning to cook was clearly a mess, "What are you planning to make?" Surprisingly, the scoundrel _shrugged back_ , "You mean you don't know?"

"Not in the slightest," Malcolm replied with a toothy grin. He reached a hand around Felix's head, pulling him close as he nuzzled his cheek, "I'm only getting these ingredients because they are all _aphrodisiacs,_ " He snickered giddily as Felix immediately pulled away with a huff. He chased after the boy, hooking one arm around his shoulders while the other still held the basket, "Love, darling, beautiful, trust me on this, okay?"

Felix turned around with his arms folded, condescending as he spoke, "You're not getting any unless you somehow win our wager," He would never admit that he almost melted at the sight of Malcolm pouting at him like a child.

"Hey, at least let me hope," Malcolm cooed, lips still pouted and fully aware of their effect on Felix, "I liked it better when you were on my leash," When Felix pulled from his grasp, Malcolm took his hand and held it firmly as he walked. The boy shot him a cross look but Malcolm remained unshaken, "Didn't want you running off and getting lost."

Felix rolled his eyes, lips curling into a smile involuntarily. This man was just way too much.

"Good afternoon, Felix," John greeted from behind, startling the two before they turned around, "And Mr. Pan."

What were the odds that he'd run into John and Michael when shopping for groceries? Felix averted his eyes the moment he met theirs, suddenly remembering what had transpired between him, Michael, and Malcolm last night.

Malcolm returned a smile, tightening his grip on Felix's hand before nudging Felix's side, "Look at that. John and Michael Darling. Say _hello_ , Felix."

Feeling like a frightened child, Felix firmly held Malcolm's hand, practically _hiding_ behind him had he been just a bit smaller, "Good to see you," Felix mumbled, barely able to keep John's gaze.

"Why are you with this scoundrel?" John asked without any sort of shyness.

Malcolm scowled at the remark, "We're seeing each other."

"I didn't ask you," John snapped, glaring at Malcolm, "I want to hear the truth from Felix. You're being blackmailed, aren't you? Or he's taking advantage of you using Peter, isn't he?" Felix didn't know what to say, lost for words against the Darling brothers, "No matter what you tell me, I'll always be on your side. I promise."

" _That's enough_ ," Malcolm growled, bruising Felix's hand in his grip as he yanked the boy away, "Haven't you Darlings done enough to him? He's not some toy for you rich boys to play with."

John grit his teeth at the declaration, nearly lunging at Malcolm, "Speak for yourself. His feelings are not for _you_ to play with!"

"John," Michael called out, trying to restrain his brother as the older Darling just got angrier and angrier. He didn't make eye contact with Felix. While John was adamant in trusting Felix, Michael was not quite as forgiving.

"Stay away from my Felix!" Malcolm barked.

"Stop," Felix called out, holding Malcolm back.

John was devastated to see Felix siding with Malcolm. He was shaking his head, denying what Michael had said last night and what Felix blatantly told him now, "He'll treat you poorly. He'll hurt you someday," He remarked. He'd seen the world enough to know what kind of man Malcolm was, "Is that what you seriously want?" Felix didn't know what to say, biting down on his lip, " _Felix_ ," John sighed, almost whimpering, desperate to coax a decent answer from him, "Don't do this to yourself. You deserve better."

Felix made his choice. He pulled Malcolm along and circled around the Darling brothers, barely catching the glare from Michael. He knew John was still watching him, knew he hadn't given up yet. Felix only wished he would.

"Don't let him get to you," Malcolm whispered into his ear when they were far enough away, "How could rich, spoiled brats like them possibly understand who you are?"

There was the slightest bit of regret as Felix looked back, "But John-"

"Wendy never understood. They won't either."

Regret silenced quickly with harsh words. Felix clamped his mouth shut. He took the basket from Malcolm's hands and rushed towards the cashiers, anxious to leave before the Darling brothers caught up to them. As soon as the groceries were paid, Felix rushed straight back to their car, tossing the bags into the back once Malcolm unlocked the doors and plopping himself into the passenger seat.

Malcolm slid into the driver's seat shortly after, "Don't worry about them, love," There was clearly amusement in his voice with the slightest tinge of malice as well, "Sheer luck that we ran into them. Won't happen again," When Felix wouldn’t respond, the slightest snarl escaped his breath, " _Felix_ ," He said, grabbing his narrow shoulder and turning him around to face him, "Do you honestly think they could ever understand you?"

Felix opened his mouth to speak but found his words trapped in his throat at Malcolm's insistent gaze.

"Wendy took Peter away and left you behind. Give them the chance, they'll do the same to you," Malcolm explained, voice slow and deliberate as he spoke, "You're not _important to them_. They're running banks and going to fancy, overpriced colleges while you're down here with the rest of us," Malcolm felt the boy flinch under his hand, eyes clouding for a moment, "They laugh at you behind your back."

Felix shook his head, refusing to believe Malcolm's baseless _lies_. Yet, thinking back on everything, it seemed impossible that Wendy hadn't talked about Felix with her brothers. He was that _weird, awkward friend_ made of lanky limbs and narrow proportions who was so in love with Peter that he willingly followed him around on dates and family dinners just to stay as close as he could.

"Why would someone like John Darling really care about you?" Malcolm whispered, stroking Felix's hair gently.

Pity, guilt on behalf of Wendy, Felix lost his world because of their sister, John wanted to pay him back. _Desperation_ , John Darling, hard-working and inwardly shy, too busy to meet any real people so he settled for eye candy latching onto his sister's boyfriend. He gave the world to Peter and he got nothing back. What could he possibly offer John?

Felix shut his eyes, pulling away and falling back into his seat. He swallowed harshly, trying so hard not to _hate_ himself.

A hand came around his neck, culling him in as he felt his head lodged gently between Malcolm's chin and shoulder, forehead nuzzling against his beard, "Shhh, I'm here. _Papa's here_ ," Malcolm whispered, "Forget about them. I love you for exactly who you are and nothing else," He scanned the parking lot, checking if the Darling brothers had followed them before reaching a second arm around Felix and pulling him in, "How about this? I'll drop you off at your place, let you sleep this off for a few hours, then you come over to my place for dinner, okay?"

Felix shook his head, surprising Malcolm, "I-I want to stay together."

Malcolm's brow quirked at the thought, "Really?" His hand drew a smooth circle on his back, "Well, who am I to say no?" He giggled at his words, lowering Felix back into his seat and starting his car, "I'll make it all better. Trust me."

Against all coherent thought, against all thinking that reminded him how lonely he was, Felix smiled and nodded back.

 

_"All better now, yes?" Malcolm asked, ruffling a hand through Felix's hair as he snacked on an ice cream cone._

_Felix didn't want to smile back. He didn't want to accept the triple scoop of rocky road that Malcolm had shoved into his hands. With Malcolm ever-looming presence and the insistent hand in his hair, he felt like he couldn't say no. Felix swallowed harshly and graced the older man with a smile, nodding quickly._

_Malcolm returned the smile, all softness, no malice or any of that unknown_ toxicity _he felt just prior, "Papa will never hurt you," He whispered, the touch gliding down his shoulder suddenly becoming poisonous once more. He kneeled to the tiny boy, eyes meeting at the same level, "It's because I love you."_

_The tension was growing, the air suffocating, Felix couldn't breathe and his hands became numb around his ice cream cone. He couldn't taste the chocolate anymore, couldn't taste anything but a moist, salty warmth creeping past his lips._

_"Excuse me," A voice cut through the tension. Felix blinked away the confusion and quickly stuffed his face with the cone, trying to force himself to_ forget _everything._

_"Ah, Ingrid, pleasure to see you. Lovely work on the Chunky Monkey," Malcolm greeted, "How's your girlfriend?"_

_Ingrid didn't bother interacting with Malcolm, eyes focused on the little boy next to him, "Are you okay? Is this man bothering you?"_

Yes. Yes he is. He did a bad thing to me and he's going to do it again.

_"No," Felix murmured, frozen as Malcolm watched him in silence, "He's my papa."_

_Ingrid narrowed her eyes, peering over her shoulder to glare at Malcolm. The older man shrugged, a toothy smile stretching across his face, "He's a friend of my son's," He explained, "I'm taking him out for ice cream because he's been a good boy."_

_Bitterly, Ingrid turned back to Felix as if Malcolm was nothing more than a breeze in the wind, words unimportant and negligible, "This person is a very bad man. If he's hurt you, you have to call the police on him."_

_Call the police? Let them take Malcolm away? Felix was almost tempted but without Malcolm, he'd never see Peter again. He'd never leave the orphanage again. He wasn't sure what was worse. Felix shook his head, backing away from the ice cream lady and into Malcolm's presence._

_"He's my papa," Felix repeated, unable to find anything else to say._

_Malcolm smirked at Ingrid, too smug over his victory to be anything but guilty, "You have to stop assuming the worst of me. Zelena always loved being dramatic."_

_A bitter glare flashed across Ingrid's face as Malcolm guided the boy out of her ice cream shop. Felix shuddered at the look but Malcolm was completely unperturbed, almost_ glad _that he got under her skin so easily._

The slightest scent of cooked meat wafted into the room, stirring Felix from his rest. He blinked away the sleepiness, enjoying the blissful moment after waking up when he had yet to remember all of his misery. He sighed dreamily, pulling up the jacket wrapped around his shoulders. It smelled like _Malcolm_ , spicy and warm, soothing him even in his weariness.

It took him a while to recount how he came to be here, letting Malcolm drive him back to his house, stripping down to just a simple shirt and boxers before laying down in bed, shifting under the sheets. He remembered Malcolm kissing him on the temple, his scruff scratching at his forehead before taking off his jacket and draping it over his shoulders.

It wouldn't be long before Malcolm called him down to eat. Felix took this time to explore again, slipping on his jeans before stepping out of Malcolm's room silently, creeping past a guest room and bathroom before reaching the end of the hall: _Peter's room_.

He opened the door once more, moving slowly so he could push the boxes of junk aside. He held a hand over his mouth, watching as the dust was stirred into the air like dense clouds. Even under the thick layer of dust, Felix could still see _Peter_ in the room waiting for him, calling for him, playing with him, endless happy memories in this single place.

He gravitated to the toy box, kneeling before it and brushing off the cobwebs formed around the lock as he popped it open. He smiled at the sight, toys, books, nearly perfectly preserved just as Felix remembered them. He played with all of these toys, read all these books to Peter, and they were still here as if they were precious.

 _But Peter was gone._ And Felix would never feel this way ever again.

"Felix?" The voice was kind as he inquired, "What are you doing in here?"

Felix had nothing to say, too lost in his memories. He half-expected Malcolm to say something snarky, to convince him that Peter was wrong. He nearly jumped when the older man draped himself around him, hugging him tightly around the shoulders.

"Dinner's ready," Malcolm whispered into his neck. He pecked him on the cheek playfully, "Come down when you're ready."

Felix replied with a brief nod, staying still when Malcolm lingered slightly longer before pulling away and exiting the room. He sighed when he was sure the older man had left, reaching into the toy box and withdrawing one of Peter's books.

 _The Winter Rabbit._ Felix smiled as he brushed away the dust coating the cover. He could still remember how Peter would shove a book into his hands and demand that Felix read it to him, specifically noting that he'd _better_ do the voices right or he wouldn't speak to him ever again. Felix always did the voices right, _couldn't risk having Peter angry at him._ Shaken, just a bit, Felix placed the book back inside the toy box and stepped away, dusting himself off before shutting the door behind him.

Felix almost couldn't believe the faint glow coming from the kitchen, eyes rolling before Malcolm even came into view as the older man hummed to himself as he carefully lit the candles sitting at the table, " _Really_?" Felix groaned.

"Of course, only the best for you," Malcolm replied with a muted snicker, placing the lighter aside before pulling out the chair for Felix, "We have an avocado-artichoke salad with a chili-pepper rubbed salmon and oysters in simple dressing. And for dessert, a mixture of chocolate and vanilla mousse with pomegranate sauce."

Felix had to fight himself to try and appear unimpressed, lips twitching with a smile when he saw the luxurious-looking meal in front of him, "Didn't know you had it in you," Felix said with half-hearted arrogance. He groaned as a hand ruffled his hair, digging in slightly harder at his fingertips.

"I was quite the chef when I was younger," Malcolm explained, fingers brushing Felix's cheek before sitting across from him, "Ladies love a man who can cook. Never failed to get her in bed."

Felix was almost ashamed for thinking Malcolm had a noble reason for learning to cook. Choking out a sarcastic laugh, Felix slowly ate his dinner and tried his best not to be utterly and completely impressed. It unnerved him when he realized that Malcolm hadn't started eating yet, still merely staring at Felix waiting for conversation to spontaneously reoccur.

"It's the reason Peter's mother married me," Malcolm cooed, laying out his bait.

Felix froze at his words, blinking nervously as he reached for the glass of red wine to his left. Peter never talked about his mother, barely even knew her from what Peter hinted at. Even now, Peter would decidedly choose to introduce Wendy to his father and not his mother.

"He doesn't speak of her, does he?" Malcolm continued, taking small bites of his salad, "I figured. She left when he could barely walk. Want to know what she was like?"

Felix shrugged back. It wasn't important to him but he couldn't deny his curiosity.

"Oh, she was absolutely lovely. Met her trying to court my cousin, then I swept her off her feet and I helped her work off all that sexual frustration," Malcolm said, "She was real tall too. Tall is sexy," At the comment that Malcolm knew Felix inwardly reacted to, the older man lifted up his leg and caressed the inside of Felix's calf. The boy stiffened at the touch, glaring across the table at the smirking man, "But she's no where near as lovely as you."

"You said you wouldn't touch me without my permission," Felix hissed loudly.

A too-kind smile on his face, a tilt of his head, Malcolm pulled back his foot and resumed his meal, completely obeying Felix's order. The older man kept to his word and hadn't touched him for the remainder of their dinner, simply prattling along with random topics occasionally coaxing a response from Felix.

"Here you are," Malcolm announced as he served Felix his chocolate-vanilla mousse, shaped in spirals in a round glass.

Felix lifted the glass into the air, turning it in his hands and utterly amazed by the swirls Malcolm had shaped his dessert into, "Definitely a step up from ice cream."

"Ah yes, _much_ better than the Rocky Road," Malcolm chuckled, settling back in his seat, "Unfortunately, I only had enough vanilla to make one so I'll just have to stare at you lovingly to dissuade my appetite."

Without hesitation, Felix slid the glass in-between both of them, a gesture to share. Giddy with excitement, Malcolm somehow produced a dessert spoon in his hands and scooped out a bite. As Felix fully expected, Malcolm had pressed the spoon to Felix's lips, _trying to spoon-feed him,_ "I used to do this when you were little, remember?"

"Sort of," Felix replied, opening his lips and accepting the treat.

Felix had no intention of feeding Malcolm, content with letting the older man feed himself and occasionally spoon-feed Felix. The more he had, the better, exceeding all of Felix's expectations and more, Malcolm was an amazing cook.

"Wish I could do that," Felix mumbled as he helped rinse down the dishes, passing them to Malcolm to place in the washing machine.

"Do what?"

"Cook," Felix replied, scrubbing down the dessert glass, "Never really learned how," He never needed to, getting by with quick meals or take-out. By the time he was done with the orphanage's standard breakfast-porridge and weekly dinners, anything tasted passably good.

Before Felix was even aware, Malcolm was somehow behind him, arms wrapping around his waist and holding him flush against his body, chin resting on his shoulder, "We've got all the time in the world. Let me teach you."

"What do you mean?" Felix meant to rebuff the man and shove him away for breaking his promise. Malcolm's hands were splayed across his torso, fingers digging in with the slightest touch, but Felix could not find it in himself to reject him.

"You don't have any other _chores_ left to do," Malcolm's tone was harsh, clearly referring to _Peter's_ excursions, "I've got nothing to do. You get to learn how to cook and _I get to see you more_. It sounds like a win-win to me."

A quiet sigh slipped from Felix's lips when Malcolm pressed forward, compressing him in his arms, "We are _never_ going to fuck. You understand that, right?"

" _Ooh,_ I love it when you talk dirty to me," Malcolm cooed, nuzzling the side of Felix's head, "Sure, sure, whatever you say."

A quiet mewl slipped from Felix's throat as Malcolm continued to nuzzle him, beard scratching pleasantly at his neck. His arms remained securely fastened around him even when he had nothing left to say. Grumbling a bit, Felix shoved at the older man's head, "Stop that already."

"Mm. I can't help it," Malcolm sighed into Felix's ear, continuing to grope him in an almost-predatorily manner, "I've never been this _happy_ in a very long time."

"… _what?_ " Felix whispered, caught off guard. He yelped as Malcolm suddenly turned him around and tightened his grip. The quiet, serene look on Malcolm's face was the only thing keeping Felix from fighting back.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" Malcolm asked.

Felix nodded slowly, "I have work."

" _Skip it_ ," Malcolm snickered, "Take tomorrow off. I'll bring you somewhere fun."

Felix was already shaking his head, "No. I-" He faded, Malcolm's lips suddenly brushing against his, their breaths mingling, "I-I-" Felix stuttered, feeling so weak, " _Malcolm…_ "

Arms tightening around Felix's waist, Malcolm pressed further till Felix was nearly reclined in his arms, "I'll make you happy again. I promise."

 

" _Fun_?" Felix groaned, glaring as a pack of children nearly ran him over as they made their way to the roller coaster to his left, "I'm not four."

Malcolm blissfully consumed his cotton candy, giggling as Felix's glare bore into his skull, "You used to love this place. Don't you remember when I used to bring you here?"

Rolling his eyes, Felix fought the urge to chuckle at the recollection, "I remember you abandoning me and Peter in this park and then running off to do your own thing."

The older man scoffed, wolfing down another chunk of cotton candy, "I didn't abandon you. I was picking up some food," He picked at the candy floss that tangled with a patch of his beard, eventually throwing an arm around Felix to distract himself when he couldn't remove it, "Besides, why would I leave a cutie like you all alone? Some pervert could've run off with you."

"You're the _worst_ pervert here," Felix accused arrogantly before yelping as Malcolm slapped his hand hard across Felix's ass. Felix whipped around at the contact, checking to make sure no one was watching them.

Malcolm giggled once more, wrapped the intruding arm around Felix's waist, "Come on. It'll be _fun_."

The older man shepherded him along, eventually taking his hand and running between rides far more excited than he should be. Felix didn't have the heart to tell Malcolm that he was never really interested in amusement parks, finding them too loud and busy to his liking, but the look on the older man's face was more than enough to keep him quiet.

A smirk flashed on Malcolm's face, "What's so funny?" He asked, fixing his ratty, auburn sweater, "What are you laughing about?"

Felix tried to hide the small smirk on his face behind his burger, "You're having a lot of fun."

"Of course I am!" Malcolm shouted, waving his milkshake in the air, "First time I've got to come here and actually try out the rides instead of babysitting. This is just an adventure to me as it is to any one of those kids," He exclaimed, gesturing to the kindergarten students seated around a long table eating lunch.

"Like you never came here by yourself?" Felix asked flatly, "Not like you have a job to get to."

"No fun to come on my own," Malcolm explained, "But I've got you now," He nudged at Felix's knee playfully with his foot, "Where do you want to go? What do you want to see?"

Felix shrugged back quickly. He wasn't even sure what kind of attractions there were, "Do they still do dinner shows?" He always wanted to see one, snacking on overpriced fast food while acrobats sailed through the air as if they were flying. Peter hated it though, hating anything that required him to sit for any longer than one hour. Felix jumped when he noticed the broad smile stretched across Malcolm's face, "What?"

"Peter hated dinner shows," Malcolm commented as if reading Felix's mind. Felix hung his head, ashamed that he was still thinking of Peter, "But sure, I'll find a show. _Anything for you._ "

The seating was rare and the food was expensive as Felix expected, a simple burger combo costing more than a decent restaurant meal. Malcolm didn't complain; he never did and the two found their seats and watched the acrobatic rendition of _Snow White_ , a huntress fugitive on the run from the villainous queen who murdered her father. Felix wouldn't admit that he was amazed, nearly leaping to his feet as the acrobats flittered through the air. Since he was little, the only memories of acrobats he grew up with where the fleeting images of performers sailing over the open stage from where he could see on the Ferris wheel.

Peter would have laughed at him for being such a child, would've berated him for being so amused by something stupid. The little voice from the boy who was taller, always yelling at him, still yelling at him. At the thought, Felix dialed himself back, averting his gaze so he wouldn't be taken by the wonder of the performance.

At the sight, Malcolm immediately wound an arm around Felix's shoulder, pulling the blond close and tucking his head under his chin, "Isn't that cool?" He asked kindly, completely taken by the performance, eyes wide and whimsical.

It was an act and Felix knew it but against that harsh, berating voice, Felix let himself be won over by the older man and wound an arm around him in return, "Thank you," Felix whispered, turning back to watch the show.

Smirking, Malcolm took out his phone and snapped a quick picture of Felix, capturing the moment of wonder and child-like excitement on his face for future use.

As the show ended and night fell over the park, the children that originally pestered them thinned out leaving mostly couples and teenagers to explore the nightlife. Drained from the day, Malcolm brought Felix to the Ferris Wheel, a low-key ride to finish the night. The two remained quiet as they stared out the window, watching a stray balloon float away from some unknown child in the park.

"We should've got a balloon," Felix remarked, smiling just a bit, "It was the first present I ever received in my life."

"Should've told me sooner," Malcolm replied, sitting across from Felix and playing with the sleeve of his sweater, "I would've filled my house with balloons just for you."

A small, sad laugh escaped from Felix's lips, trying so hard not to be taken by Malcolm's words, "I fell in love with Peter here," Felix murmured, still watching that lonely balloon sailing through the air, "That day, when you left us all alone in the park, I was so scared. I thought I was abandoned again," He looked to Malcolm, the older man watching him attentively, "Then Peter came back for me. He brought me stuff, took me on rides, he made me happy. It made me feel… special."

That one day, when Felix felt like his chest would burst from fear and loneliness, when he thought his life would never amount to anything more than a barren room in an unfeeling orphanage, Peter gave him clarity. Peter would be with him, _always_ , and Felix foolishly thought Peter would love him forever.

"I thought I wouldn't need anyone else. We were going to be kings together, just like he promised," But Peter abandoned him just like everyone else in the world had. Felix shut his eyes, shaking his head, "It's just a bad memory now," No one was meant to want him; that was his birthright, "Why are you doing this? Tell me the truth."

"Because I love you," Malcolm replied without pause.

Felix flinched at the declaration, "Stop it."

"Then what do you want me to say?" Malcolm asked, patient, no malice.

"The truth," Felix replied as if it were obvious.

Malcolm didn't know what to say, staring at Felix for a while before opening his mouth and revising his words, "To spite my son by taking away the thing he loves most."

His words were bitter but somehow more palatable, "What makes you think he loves me most?" Felix mumbled.

"Him and I are very similar as much as we both hate to admit it," A smile flashed upon the scoundrel's face. His words once again circled back to his previous confession.

"You don't love me," Felix scoffed, "Why would you?"

Felix watched cautiously as Malcolm stood from his seat, eyes watching the ascending landscape outside as he approached Felix, nearly leaning in towards him before sliding up beside him. He sighed as he examined Felix's face, drinking in his sharp, beautiful features. He caressed the side of his face, smiling kindly when Felix didn't pull away, "I'm a bad, bad man," Malcolm started, voice low and soft, "And I've lived a very bad life and made some very bad decisions. But if I could go back in time, _I wouldn't fix a thing_ because I _loved_ every moment of it, even if it left me with nothing but a divorce and a lousy son," He leaned in slowly, pressed against Felix's chest, "My time had passed. I was ready to be miserable till I died of old age. _And then you came back into my life_."

Felix narrowed his eyes, confused but _warm_ like he's never been before. He reached an arm around Malcolm, palm resting in the small of his back to keep him still. He half expected the scoundrel to remark on the intimate touch but he remained quiet, breathing in Felix's essence and listening to his heartbeat.

Malcolm sighed quietly, continuing his story, "That day, after Peter called me and bragged about his engagement. I was so _angry_. It wasn't right for him to be happy when I was miserable. I thought about leaving town, driving off right before his wedding as a final 'screw you'. I went to Neverland for one more drink, something to give me enough courage to press on with my plan," Felix's breath hitched at the declaration, "And then I found you. _I held you._ And I knew if I left town, I'd never see you again," He took Felix's hand, begging that he'd never have to let it go ever again, "You make me feel like I didn't waste my entire life."

His words were like liquid gold, dripping onto Felix's skin and searing a mark deep within his flesh. Peter would've called his father a liar, would've condemned him and asked him to shove his words down his throat. _But Peter was wrong. Always wrong._ And Felix was tired of listening to Peter.

"May I?" Malcolm prompted, one hand curling around Felix's cheek, thumb prodding at his lips.

Felix snickered at the gesture, Malcolm asking for permission after all of his invasive touches. He relented though, his own hands cupping Malcolm's face, stroking at his cheeks where his scruff thinned out. Malcolm shut his eyes slowly as he leaned in and Felix followed shortly after, their lips meeting softly and innocently before Malcolm's tongue peeked out and lapped at Felix's mouth, coaxing his mouth open.

Felix hummed as Malcolm worked his lips slowly and softly, a tinge of cotton candy on his tongue. He had no idea his flesh could feel so hot, _melting under Malcolm's touch_. Underneath it all, there was something familiar about this, something that reminded him of ice cream, games, and innocent declarations of love as Malcolm kissed him fervently. Felix reasoned that was why he wasn't scared. He took Malcolm into his arms, one hand weaving into his hair, the other remaining on the small of his back. He sighed pleasantly as Malcolm somehow held him closer, covering him, _protecting him_.

To his surprise, Malcolm pulled away first, eyes filled with affection and melting in Felix's arms, "Thank you, love," He whispered, giggling when Felix smiled back goofily at him, "What's with that expression?"

Felix snickered at the question, "Idiot," He whispered, pulling Malcolm back for a second kiss, "You don't have to thank me," Not letting Malcolm interject with some snarky remark, Felix took him by the collar and pulled him, daring Malcolm with a firmer, deeper kiss.

Exiting the park, Felix wasn't even sure when he started holding Malcolm's hand. He wasn't ashamed anymore, almost the exact opposite as he held Malcolm close. At Malcolm's car, Felix turned Malcolm around, initiating a kiss and letting Malcolm sit back and enjoy it. A sigh came from the older man as he broke off to smear kisses all along Felix's cheek, nudging into Felix's hands as he tried to guide his lips back. His other hand wandered to the car, opening the back door and ushering Felix in, laying him against the seats as he shut the door behind him. Almost immediately when Malcolm crawled in, Felix pulled him in for a kiss, lips and tongue tangling together in a slow, spicy dance.

Malcolm chuckled into his mouth as Felix's hands slid down to his hips, toying with the belt of his jeans. He opened his eyes, pulling back as he focused on the string of saliva still connecting their lips together, "No more thoughts about Peter?"

Felix was stunned by the question, hands faltering for a moment. He blinked weakly, fighting the urge to turn away and out from the scoundrel's piercing gaze. Deep down, nothing had changed and Felix was still aching, but right now with Malcolm's heat blurring out the world, Felix would be alright. He smiled back dreamily, taking Malcolm by the collar and pulling him in, "Peter who?"

Lightly laughing, Malcolm leaned back in and claimed Felix once more "Hey…" Malcolm whispered, addicted to the sweetness of Felix's lips, "Want to stay the night at my place?"


	7. Everlasting Love

_"Why are you crying?" Peter hissed, "Why are you always crying!"_

_Felix wiped at his cheeks fervently, sniffling and gasping as salty tears drenched his face, "You never let me play!" He squealed, "You're so mean."_

_Peter folded his arms and groaned, "If you keep crying, I'm not going to play with you anymore."_

_A smile stretched across Peter's face as the tiny boy's breath hitched, tears ceasing as he looked up with wide, swollen eyes. Felix shook his head, willing himself to stop crying as he ran over to Peter's side and hugged his waist, "I'm not crying," He mumbled more confidently._

_"Good," Peter declared, picking up his controller once more and plopping down on the couch, "You can play after I'm done."_

_Peter had said this over and over and Felix was starting to realize that his turn would never come. He had to accept it or risk losing his only friend. Peter knew_ _whether consciously or not that his "best friend" would do anything for him because he had no one else._

_"What's going on down here?" Malcolm shouted as he came down the stairs, "Are you picking on Felix?"_

_Peter grumbled once more, "Nothing, Papa."_

_"Nothing," Felix added voluntarily, knowing that Peter would start nudging him otherwise._

_The bratty boy glared at his father as he swept past him, nearly kicking over the console as he rushed to Felix's side, "Oh Felix, what did he do now?" Malcolm sighed, shaking his head in disapproval of Peter as he dabbed at the tears on Felix's cheek with a handkerchief, "Come on, I'll clean you up."_

_Before Malcolm could carry Felix away, a tiny hand took hold of Peter's shirt, gripping at the collar tightly. Peter looked to Felix in confusion, curious why his friend was suddenly clinging to him, "Felix is playing right now," Peter shouted to his father as he pushed the controller into his hands, "He'll clean up later."_

_Malcolm narrowed his eyes, nothing but contempt in his expression towards his son. Peter was already well-acquainted with this look and promptly returned the glare. He smiled shortly after though, giving Felix a kind pat on the head before standing back up, "Alright. Whenever he's done playing then."_

_Peter didn't like it when his father watched Felix, the way his eyes looked like they'd_ devour _the boy. He watched his father the entire time until he disappeared upstairs, no doubt spending his time watching some disgusting show on TV. As soon as he heard his father shut his door, Peter turned back around and settled on the couch, surprised to see that Felix hadn't started playing yet._

_"What?" Peter questioned, confused why Felix was merely staring at him while the controller lay in his hands. The tiniest, kindest smile Peter had ever seen flashed across Felix's face as he extended his hands forward, offering Peter the controller. Satisfied, gratitude not even on his mind, Peter took the controller and resumed his game, barely aware of what he had done for Felix._

 

Blinking awake, Peter found himself staring at the ceiling, luxurious silk sheets tucked around his torso with Wendy curled up on his side. He hadn't spoken to Felix in what felt like forever, reasoning with himself that it was because of the wedding and not because he had severed his final ties with his best friend. He reached for his phone, groaning when Wendy stopped him in her sleep, her grip on his arm like a weight in bed. Peter slowly shimmied away, just barely sweeping his phone over before returning to his side of the bed.

Felix hadn't said a word to him since that day in his room. He never tried to contact him and Peter was too proud to find him at the Rabbit Hole. A part of him hoped that Felix was upset, hoped that he was stewing in his own loneliness for daring to choose his father over him. Felix should be miserable; he brought this on himself.

And the other part of him wanted to strangle himself for ever thinking that.

He placed his phone on the mattress beside him, rolling onto his side so he could pull Wendy into his embrace. He smiled a bit, noting that Wendy's shoulders were nearly just as broad at Felix's. The boy may have grown tall but he somehow failed to grow widthwise. Almost immediately after the thought, Peter tossed himself over and picked up his phone, barely even acknowledging how he had a picture of Felix as his wallpaper and not a picture of him and Wendy. He scrolled to his favourite contacts, swiping Felix's name to the right and waiting for the text message box to pop up.

A rustle to his left, "Peter?" Wendy called out dreamily, the light of his phone waking her, "Can't sleep?" Her expression immediately fell when she saw the text box on Peter's phone.

"I'm just sending a text message to Slightly," Peter explained in an utterly unbelievable tone, "He wanted to know when the wedding was. I forgot to tell him is all," He stiffened as Wendy slid away from him on the bed, turning onto her other side so she wouldn't have to face him, "I have to. He hasn't said anything to me. _Wendy,_ please, I've been looking out for him since we were little."

Wendy wasn't happy with it but she relented, turning back around and watching as Peter typed in a quick 'It's been a while. How are you' into the phone. She knew he wanted to say more, knew he would say something that sounded far more romantic than he thought. She let it go at that, shutting her eyes and trying to return to sleep in Peter's arms.

Felix didn't reply.

Days had passed and Peter was still staring at his phone, sending messages periodically, waiting for Felix to say something. It didn't matter if he was at a family dinner with Wendy or in a study group with the most gifted students in the class, Peter would have his phone out and every few minutes, he'd be checking for a text message. He wasn't going to accept this. Felix wouldn't leave him. Felix would come back. _He had to_.

"Pan!" The voice echoed throughout the hall. Peter lifted his head from his not-so-subtle checking on his phone, "You've been looking at your phone this entire lecture," The professor scolded, "If you're not here to learn then stop distracting the people behind you and leave."

"Oh shut up. No one's listening to you anyway," Peter growled back, the crowd of students gasping and subtly chuckling at Peter's bluntness.

Wendy gaped at the reaction, " _Peter_ ," She snapped, immediately noticing the multitude of eyes upon them.

She pulled him outside shortly after, embarrassed more so by Peter's complete lack of empathy for his actions. She took out her phone, searching her contacts list for Michael, "We're going to see Felix."

"No," Peter grumbled, reaching for her phone and pulling it back, "There's nothing between me and Felix. I promise."

" _Then go to him_ ," Wendy said firmly, "Go to him and apologize."

Wendy's suggestion wasn't absurd. He should apologize, should accept that he wronged Felix but still wanted to be friends. However, if he apologized to Felix, if Felix accepted it and took him into his arms, if Felix declared that he _still loved him_ after all of his suffering, Peter was _afraid_ of what he'd do, the truth of his heart revealed.

Peter clamped his mouth shut and shook his head, denying her the truth.

As he expected, Wendy returned to the lecture hall, leaving him all alone. Even now, after he had broken Wendy's trust, Peter couldn't stop himself from checking his phone once more.

 

"I'm sorry about that outburst. I've just been so stressed with the wedding and school and now that whole thing with Felix," Peter said into his phone, talking to Wendy on the phone. It always bothered him how she never got used to texting; he blamed her old-school parents.

There was a slight pause as if Wendy was contemplating. Peter already knew her answer, "Alright," She whispered, always submitting to him, "I need some time alone for a while. Is that okay?"

Peter wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. He had more than enough on his mind, having time to himself would probably help him clear it up. On the other hand, would his lack of presence make Wendy suspicious? Peter didn't think too much of it, "Alright. I'll call you tomorrow."

She bid him farewell, hanging up first. Peter put his phone down, raking a hand through his hair exasperatedly. He knew this shouldn't be bothering him so much, knew he had more important things to worry about like the wedding, but knowing that his father was getting exactly what he wanted and that Felix was in danger made him want to put all of his plans on hold.

"Would you like a refill?" Granny asked as she came by his booth with a fresh pot of coffee.

"No," Peter replied, sipping at his current cup.

"Your father's been here," Granny said.

Peter rolled his eyes. Without Wendy around, Peter could blatantly express his disdain for the people in this town, too friendly to expect that someone in this town wouldn't be interested in casual chatter.

"He's been bringing your friend."

Peter choked on his coffee, eating his words as he slammed his mug down, "When?"

Granny shrugged, a smug look on her face as Peter was suddenly attentive, "Every other day, roughly. Usually breakfast but occasionally dinner too," Peter bit his lip and hung his head, almost ashamed for letting this happen but trying to pretend he was angry, "Just thought you'd like to know," The older woman said, moving onto the next table with her coffee pot.

It wasn't right. Felix should be with _him,_ always. There's was something foreign and wrong without Felix beside him, his beloved best friend standing beside _his father_ instead. This wasn't love. It couldn't be love. Peter's twisted father and uncaring mother taught him well enough that love was weakness, a tool used to manipulate. _Then why did it feel so wrong to have Felix love another?_

Peter refused to dwell on it. He needed a distraction right now and Wendy was still unhappy with him. He swiped through his phone, searching for _anyone_ to talk with, "Tootles, hey, it's Pan," He greeted on his phone.

"It's _Thomas_."

Scowling at the correction, Peter quickly cleared his throat and continued on with a sickly sweet voice, "So, I'm thinking about doing another Lost Boy meet up at The Rabbit Hole. You know, just like old times? Today, at 6:20."

"No."

Peter nearly bit through his tongue on that blunt retort, "You've got plans?"

"No. I don't like you."

A heavy sigh, Peter could already tell this would end poorly, "Is this about not inviting you to my wedding? I swear its because of Wendy's parents. They're absolutely-"

"It's because you're an asshole. That's why."

"Then why'd you come last time I called?" Peter shouted, dropping his scripted mannerism in favour of a more familiar one.

"You told us you were trying to help Felix out. All you did was make it worse."

Peter growled, grip tightening around the phone, "Well, excuse me for wanting to move up in life."

"I bet you're only calling because Felix is pissed at you, right? Thank god, at least he's finally woken up," Tootles said with a deceptively cold tone. It was clear he was still burning with anger on the inside, "You're a piece of shit, Peter. And I can't wait for Wendy to figure it out and divorce your ass."

Peter hung up on him first because there was no way in hell he'd let someone chew him out and then have the courtesy of ending the conversation. He nearly threw his phone in rage, never had he been chewed out like that when he was genuinely just searching for company. Felix would never do anything like that; Felix supported him no matter what he did; _Felix had enough and left him._

The bitterness on Peter's tongue had nothing to do with the overpriced coffee.

Peter had only one option left: Hang out alone and hopefully find someone amusing enough to play with.

Honestly, it had been months since Peter had gone to a night club. Wendy always considered them trashy or dangerous which, by extension, meant Peter had to find them vile as well. Without the deadweight, Pan returned to his apartment and tossed his cardigan into the corner, opting for a pair of black jeans and a green polo shirt for his night out. He wanted to pump himself up with a quick beer but found himself gagging at the mouldy food in his fridge. He was so used to living at Wendy's or hanging around with Felix, everything else in his apartment had gone to hell.

It'd been ages since he'd been to Neverland. He noticed that they removed the strobe lights on the ceiling, casting the dance floor in an eerie blue-green glow. Its booming music was just loud enough to stop him from thinking about Felix. He slipped through the crowd towards the bar, purposely brushing against a dancer who was a bit too obsessed with glitter so his body would glisten just slightly.

He nearly sidled up beside a rather handsome man by the bar with dirty blonde hair and the smell of factory metal coming from his skin. He opened his mouth, brow lifted, conjuring all of his seductive ability until his eyes caught a flash of blond hair towering over the crowd. His heart sank at the sight and his intended target slipped away shortly with his girlfriend.

" _Felix_ ," Peter whispered, his heart pounding again when he saw _Malcolm_ sitting beside him, nudging at his arm and snickering. He couldn't tear away as Malcolm nudged at Felix with his forehead, the boy _laughing_ at the adorable gesture before returning the nudge. Peter couldn't make out what they were saying but seeing Felix _laughing_ with someone other than him made his stomach twist violently. _No, no, no, no!_

Taking a drink, Peter sidled in closer, trying to catch their conversation as he pretended to be just another patron in the crowd.

"-puttanesca next time?" Malcolm asked, his hand gliding over Felix's thigh.

Felix peered down for a moment, stroking at Malcolm's hand instead of shoving it off, "I don't like anchovies."

 _Felix hates anchovies. Why would you suggest a sauce like that to him? You don't know him at all._ Peter growled in his mind, his expression twisted with rage while his body swayed to the music on the floor.

Peter stiffened when Malcolm threw an arm around Felix's waist, never able to keep his hands off of him for more than a few seconds, "You'll like it. I promise! It's quick and delicious," Felix wrinkled his nose in response and shook his head, looking just like a child and nearly making Malcolm swoon. Giggling amusedly, Malcolm dove at Felix and wrapped his arms around his waist, entrapping him before tickling his narrow waist.

Choking out a laugh, Felix shoved at Malcolm playfully as he tried to squirm away, "Stop!" He swung his legs around the stool, trying to get away only for Malcolm to follow him, latched around his waist and heavy on his back.

"Naughty boys need to be punished," Malcolm cooed into his ear, just barely containing his squirming as his fingers skittered up and down Felix's body. He nipped at Felix's ear playfully, loving it when Felix crooned at the touch. He nearly kept going, nearly dipped his hand under Felix's beater until his eyes met with the furious boy on the dance floor, " _Oh my._ What brings you here?"

"One of your friends?" Felix laughed out as he stood back up, Malcolm's arms still resting around his waist. For a brief moment, Peter saw Felix's rare, innocent smile and he nearly believed that everything was right again, that Felix was once again at his side with undying loyalty. The moment faded as quickly as it came when Felix laid eyes on Peter, his expression dropping into hollow distrust, "Peter," He searched the crowd behind Peter, eyes flickering to the bar when he couldn't find his target.

"Wendy's not here," Peter replied, "I came alone."

A hum of acknowledgement came from Felix, nearly drowned out by the music. He wouldn't make eye contact with Peter, too _afraid_ to get into another fight. His heart wouldn't be able to take it.

Peter took a step forward and when Felix didn't back away, he nearly ran towards him, "Felix-"

"Felix!" Malcolm called out, stealing his attention away from Peter, "Can you grab us a few drinks? I'll take care of this," Desperate to avoid Peter, Felix nodded complacently and disappeared to the bar. When Peter tried to follow, Malcolm blocked his way, "No. You're not going anywhere near him."

"Don't tell me what to do," Peter hissed, "What the hell are you even doing here with him?"

"My suggestion, thought he could use a bit of alcohol and dirty dancing. Plus, he just looks so _good_ in glitter, doesn't he?" Malcolm explained, brow quirking as he looked over his shoulder at Felix, eyes skimming down his back towards his tightly fit jeans, "But to be fair, Felix seemed quite excited about it."

Felix liked night clubs? Peter felt ashamed of himself for not remembering this. He couldn't stop staring at Felix past Malcolm, twitching every time Felix would accidentally make eye contact with him and jerk away quickly, "If you hurt him…"

"Like you've done so much better than me," Malcolm replied, "You're lucky I was the one to find him here on his birthday. If it had been anyone else, Felix might've left this place with more than just a quick handjob in the bathroom," Peter's eyes locked onto Malcolm's at the crude remark, threatening to burn a hole right through his skull.

"Don't pretend like you're innocent in this," Peter growled, grabbing Malcolm's collar and jerking him close, "I know what you did to him when he was little. I'll never forget it," Felix tucked under his bed, crying till his throat was raw, till he had no more tears left in his quivering body. Peter would _never_ forget, "I know you'll hurt him the same way."

A smirk that made Peter shudder right down to his core stretched along his father's face, "It won't be the same. Felix knows he wants me now," Peter's eyes widened at the implication, pupils dilating with pure rage, his fists shaking from where he held Malcolm's collar, "He ever tell you about our little bet? If I can get you to confess your feelings for him, Felix will give me his _virginity_ ," He snickered as Peter's mouth fell upon, his son looking ridiculous with the various emotions fighting to show on his face.

 _I don't love Felix._ It was so easy to say those words before whether it was to Wendy, her family, or even Felix himself. Yet, in front of his father who held all the cards and knew every single one of his tricks, Peter found himself without words.

"You've got a good girl to go back to, don't you? She's rich, has lineage, looks fertile. You should go back to her and let Felix stay with who he really wants."

"Which isn't you."

"...yet."

"Cuba Libre," Felix declared, interrupting their conversation to give Malcolm his drink. He didn't even try to make eye contact with Peter; it was as if his once best friend was not even there.

Malcolm's arrogant smirk quickly morphed into a soft, toothy grin, "Thank you, love," He cooed, moving forward to kiss Felix's cheek, "By the way, start wearing body glitter everyday. That will suffice as rent," His eyes were on Peter as his hands were on Felix, enjoying how control slowly slipped away from his son the longer he held Felix, "Let's dance, shall we?" He purred, patting at Felix's cheek, mocking Peter's affectionate gesture.

A smile flashed on Felix's face, a smile only Peter was ever allowed to see, "Okay."

It was the last thing Peter saw before he found himself lunging at his father, punching him _hard_ and sending him tumbling onto the dance floor. The crowd parted immediately, gasping at the sudden violent display. Without thinking once more, Peter grabbed Felix's wrist and tried to run, desperate to pull his best friend away and turn everything back to the way it once was before their fight, before the engagement, before _Wendy_.

 _Felix pulled away_. Felix ran in the opposite direction, back to his father, kneeling at his side, nursing the awful bruise on his cheek. And for some reason, that was the worst possible thing Peter had ever experienced in his entire life.

_Fee…Felix…don't go with him. You're supposed to be my best friend. You're supposed to be beside me forever. That's the way its meant to be. That's the way it should be._

Without any coherent thought, Peter took a fistful of Felix's shirt and pulled him away, his other hand secured around his wrist. He didn't speak, didn't bother trying to coerce Felix with words, he needed to take his friend back _now_. Persuasion could come later when his mind was no longer clouded with desperation and booming music.

"Let go!" Felix cried out, squirming in Peter's grasp, _thrashing_ , completely unlike the playful twists when Malcolm had his hands on him. He gasped when Peter hooked an arm around his waist, _pressing up against him_ almost intimately. Before he could let his mind wander, before he shut everything out but the intimate pressure of Peter pressed up right against him, Felix threw his arms back and shook Peter off. He backed away cautiously, confused, face heated with embarrassment, lust, and anger all at once, " _Why are you doing this?_ "

 _Why am I doing this?_ It just felt _wrong_ for Felix not to be at his side, like the world had become twisted and strange when Felix stood beside his father. It didn't make sense and Peter didn't know _why_. Or perhaps, it was just so natural a feeling that Peter never thought it needed justification.

Peter's chest hurt, ached, _throbbed_ like he was going to die and the next thing Peter knew was that he was back in his apartment laying on a dusty bed with his face pressed into the sheets, leaving before the bouncer could kick him out.

Even as he lay in bed willing himself to sleep, he couldn't stop thinking about Felix.

 

"You look tired," Wendy commented, nodding to Ruby as she refilled their coffee, "What were you doing last night?"

Peter shook his head, rubbing at the circles under his eyes, "Just thinking."

"About what?" Wendy knew the answer but she couldn't stop herself from pressing.

"My father," Peter replied, attempting to avert her suspicions, "He's going to do something bad. I know it."

He knew he was fooling no one. Wendy knew exactly who he was thinking of and just as always, she had no idea how to change his mind, "Felix can handle himself. Don't worry."

"No he can't," Peter snapped, suddenly angry, "My father raped him and he won't even believe it."

"Maybe he didn't? If Felix is still hanging around him, then clearly it wasn't as bad as you thought," Wendy reasoned.

Peter's lips twisted into a snarl as he hissed, " _I know what I saw_!" He reached for his phone unconsciously, checking quickly for and text messages before slipping it back into his pocket.

Whatever joy was left in Wendy's expression faded, leaving her dreary and weak. For a moment, Peter almost saw Felix in her expression. She reached for her coffee, taking a sip as she kept her eyes focused outside, "If Felix means so much to you, go to him."

Sensing the disapproval, Peter immediately softened his expression and reached for her hand, "Felix means nothing to me. I promise."

Wendy was shaking her head, so used to his constant reassurance and the inevitable disappointment.

"Wendy, I'm serious," Peter murmured, "I'm just worried about him. He doesn't have anyone else. I can't just abandon him," He repeated for what felt like the hundredth time, "Let's concentrate on the wedding, alright? I'll stop talking about Felix. What else do we need to do?"

Reluctant at first, Wendy eventually gave in, shooting Peter a small smile before withdrawing a folder from her purse, explaining the details of catering to him while Peter pretended to be interested. He was fully committed to spending the rest of his time with her until Wendy's eyes suddenly flickered towards the door, expression faltering for just a moment.

"After you, love."

The unmistakable accent sent shivers down Peter's spine. He stiffened as he heard the footsteps, forcing himself not to watch as Malcolm walked right past him with Felix and sat in the far booth. Peter's stomach twisted as Felix slid into his side first and _gestured_ to Malcolm, the older man obliging and sliding in beside him. With their backs to Peter, he couldn't see their expressions but he could hear the slightest laugh coming from Felix.

"What do you think of having Indian food at the wedding?" Wendy asked, grasping at straws trying to win back Peter's attention.

Peter didn't respond, too distracted by Felix breaking up a sugar cube and feeding a corner to Malcolm playfully. The older man giggled and chomped on the lump, eventually leaning in and pressing a kiss to Felix's mouth, transferring the sweetness between them.

"Peter!" Wendy shouted, Peter's attention immediately snapping back to her, "My parents want to have dinner with you tonight. Are you free?"

Peter wasn't even aware that she was talking, everything filtering out except for his father and Felix. He sighed heavily, sweeping a hand of his face to erase Felix from his mind, "Yeah, sure. Anything you want."

" _Peter's here…_ " Felix whispered to Malcolm, fighting the urge to turn around.

"Ignore him," Malcolm replied, handing Felix his cup of juice, "He can't hurt you anymore. I won't let him," Felix tried his best not to react, tried to pretend that Peter was nothing to him. It was clear on his face that this wasn't working. Malcolm couldn't help but find his expression adorable, "Don't let that wench get to you either. You and I both know Peter loves you, not her."

Felix shook his head, "Stop," He muttered, "That doesn't matter anymore. So don't talk about it."

"As you wish," Malcolm sighed, smirking to Granny as she glared at him from across the room. He tapped the table suddenly, "That's right. I got you something," He reached into his worn leather jacket, withdrawing a flat white box, "If there was one thing the ladies loved other than cooking, it was handmade jewelry. Picked up the skill during trades school. But I figured jewelry probably wouldn't suit you…"

" _What is he doing?_ " Peter mumbled, looking over Wendy's shoulder and watching as Malcolm huddled over Felix, tinkering with something behind Felix's ear.

A sigh came from Wendy as she looked up from her oatmeal, Peter's attention once again back on Felix. She turned around, watching Malcolm pull away from Felix with a broad smile, nearly romantic in expression.

"There," Malcolm sighed, gently holding the feather tassels now dangling from Felix's hair, "Lovely. Really brings out your neck."

Felix smirked a little bit, leaning back as Malcolm nipped at the tender flesh of his neck, "My neck?"

" _Felix!_ "

Everyone in the diner froze at the exclamation. Wendy whipped around, staring at Peter with thinly-veiled despair. Peter had stood from his seat, fists clenched at his side, brows knit in frustration. It wasn't right. This wasn't right. But how could he fix it? What could he possibly say to make Felix come back?

"I…I-um…" Peter mumbled, lost for words which surprised both Wendy and Felix, "We're going to-uh-we're going to pick catering. You should help pick."

Felix didn't even turn around. He sipped his juice, staring forward and nodding to Ruby when she returned with their meals. Malcolm smirked at Peter, celebrating his small victory before turning back around, one arm tossed around Felix shoulders and toying with the feathers on the side of his head.

Dumbly, Peter sat back down, unable to meet Wendy's eyes, _too ashamed_ of himself. Wendy sighed heavily, glancing to Ruby as she came by to drop of their meal, "Thank you," She whispered, cutting into her Eggs Benedict while trying to ignore what just happened, "So, will you be able to eat with my parents tonight?"

"Yeah," Peter replied quietly, merely staring at his pancakes.

 

_"I remember this place." Peter whispered, gripping onto the bars. The archaic architecture and rustic look was unmistakable. This was the orphanage run by the nuns. He scaled the bars, having much less difficulty getting over them than he had in the past._

_A pair of children ran by, giggling and happy, waving a kite up and down. That kite would probably get stuck on the roof again. They weren't important though. Peter didn't need someone who would treat him second-best._

_From afar, he could hear shouting. It sounded like scolding but Peter couldn't be sure. He approached the far wall, testing the rickety plumbing on the side before climbing on it. He was surprised such narrow pipes could support his full-grown weight._

_"I'm sorry Nicholas," A messy-haired boy mumbled, fists at his side, expression indignant._

_The strict-looking woman gave both boys a pat on the head, leading 'Nicholas' out and turning back to the smaller boy, "No more picking fights, alright Felix?"_

_"I just wanted to make friends," Felix choked out, feeling smaller and smaller as Mother Superior looked down on him._

_She shut the door behind her, putting Felix back where he belongs: In solitude. As soon as she was far enough, Felix sat down on his bed, curled up, and burst into tears. All Peter wanted was a servant disguised as a best friend, someone to do anything he wanted, someone he could_ abandon _when he was no longer of value. But who was he kidding? When he saw Felix broken and weeping, he suddenly became precious to him._

_"Are you Felix?" Peter asked._

_The tiny boy squealed in surprise, heading whipping up and scrambling back. He was so fragile; Peter thought he'd shatter into pieces with the slightest breeze. The boy swiped at his eyes, trying so hard to fight his tears and make a good impression, "Yes," The boy finally choked out._

"My name is Peter."

"Everyone says they found you in the trash."

_The words never came despite how familiar they were. Peter knew the moment this path began, he'd bring Felix back to his father, and that would be the start of a new hell for Felix. Instead, Peter scuttled his way up the wall and into his room, sitting beside the miniature boy, "I'm Peter," He said, patting Felix's head. It had been a while since he was able to look down at Felix. The height difference was even more noticeable from their current age difference, "What do you like to do, Felix?"_

_The boy's eyes wandered his room, trying to find something of interest outside of the few picture books Mother Superior had left for him. Honestly, he didn't know so he shrugged, silently begging Peter not to leave. He squealed again when Peter stood, reaching for his arm and holding him still on the verge of tears._

_"Don't go," Felix whimpered, so lonely, so scared._

_Peter gave his head a gentle pat, always loving how fluffy Felix's hair was, "I'll be right back," Coaxing the boy to let go, Peter leapt out the window, climbing back up shortly after with a kite in hand. Felix was ecstatic, taking the colourful toy in hand and waving it around, "They won't miss it."_

_Peter watched as Felix ran around the room, tiny fingers wrapped around the string of the kite pulling it along with the very slightest breeze lifting it. He smiled, wondering how someone with so little could be so happy. Peter Pan, a boy with everything he'd ever wanted: Power, fortune, a fiancée with lineage who'd be more than happy to share, why did it take so much to make him happy while this boy only needed a simple kite?_

This was all Felix ever needed. Peter always wanted more.

_But that wasn't always true. As Felix dashed around in a circle, as sand filled the room and the walls crumbled away into an open sky, Peter saw himself at his happiest, watching Felix fold a paper crown and plop it onto Peter's head._

_"Someday, we'll be kings together."_

_The smile on Felix's face as Peter folded a second crown, placing it on his best friend's head. Suddenly, Felix was no longer a servant and for some reason, that made Peter happier than anything else in the world. Eyes wide, he ran towards Felix, desperate to scoop him up from the sand and never let go. The Felix of this moment, pure, untouched, and loved, was what he pathetically squandered in his current time._

_He picked the boy up from the sand, disturbing his memory and sending the images spiralling down all around him, melting into the everlasting. He wanted Felix back so badly, more than anything else in this entire world. He wanted this simple happiness back and he'd give up everything he had for it._

_It wasn't about protecting Felix from his father. That was never Peter's intent._

_Small hands reached around him, taking hold of his shirt and pressing him close, "I love you."_

 

Peter's eyes snapped open, his skin glistening with cold sweat. He rolled over on the bed, pushing away the floral bed sheets and scanning the room. He had taken a nap in Wendy's room, trying to use sleep to flush out thoughts of Felix. It was no use; on the contrary, it made everything so much worse. Unconsciously, he reached for his phone, checking once more for any outstanding messages.

"Peter?" Wendy's voice called from behind the door, "Dinner's ready."

Sighing, Peter threw on a random sweater from the ground and made his way out, not even bothering to fix himself up.

At the dinner, everyone immediately picked up on Peter's disgruntled state, expression frustrated and dark, clothes and hair rumpled without a care completely unlike the carefully calculated, well-groomed intellect he always presented himself as. He kept his head rested lazily on one hand, his other poking lazily at the meatloaf on his plate.

Wendy's mother cleared her voice loudly, "So, how has the wedding planning been going?"

Wendy gave her mother a small smile, "We're deciding on catering. I think we're going for Indian. What do you think, Peter?" Peter shrugged back, not even bothering to look at her, "He's had a busy week. Wedding and all," Wendy explained, "And exams. Peter's been studying really hard."

"Ah, that's good. What do you want to do when you're done with school?" Wendy's father asked.

What did he want to be? Peter considered becoming a lawyer as a front, mostly just riding off Wendy's fortune until he was satisfied. It would maximize his happiness, he thought, but right now, he couldn't be sure, "I don't know," Peter mumbled, "Maybe a king?"

The air was silent until a light chuckle came from Mr. Darling, assuming that Peter must've been joking. Wendy joined in, merely playing along trying to mediate between Peter and her family, "Remember that story you told me about you and Felix on the beach? You should tell my parents. It's a cute story."

"Why would I do that? They don't know Felix."

The air was silent once more and no one at the table knew how to interpret Peter's sour mood. Wendy sighed, shutting her eyes and bowing her head, "I'm sorry. There's just been something going on with his best friend. Peter's really not in the mood for dinner."

"That tall boy who used to join us for dinner?" Mrs. Darling inquired.

Wendy nodded, "He's…. gotten involved with someone bad," She'd never mention Malcolm knowing that he was Peter's father.

"I figured. A boy like him seems to be the type who'd get involved with gangs and drugs," Mr. Darling muttered, "Do you need any help? We have good connections with a few officers."

Wendy shook her head when Peter wouldn't react, answering the question for him, "No. Peter can protect him. Right?"

 _Protect Felix_? Over and over, that was Peter's excuse: Felix had no one else. It'd be too cruel to leave him. But that wasn't true, Felix had friends. Felix had the lost boys who'd travel halfway across town for him, boys who'd chew out Peter for his sake, but Peter pushed them all away with a flimsy excuse _._ He was never protecting Felix. He was keeping Felix for himself.

Felix, the boy who had nothing to his name and no glorious future to have, was so precious to him that it felt wrong for him to love anyone else but him. Finally, the haze lifted, his hand no longer darting to his phone to check messages, Peter realized what he had wanted to do since he was little.

"I love him," Peter whispered, "I love Felix."

It wasn't that he wanted to be rich and powerful all by himself, he did it so he could make a better life with Felix. The important part was not being a king but for _both_ _of them_ to be kings.

Wendy choked on her food, her parents gaping and offended as Peter declared his love for Felix, "P-Peter?" Wendy gasped, expression incredulous.

A smile stretched across Peter's face as he fell into his hands, laughing into them as he stood, "I don't need any of this, money, law school, fame. And especially not those pompous jackasses at school," He stood up tossing his napkin onto his meal before grabbing his jacket from the couch, "To be fair, we both know this was never going to work out."

Years of convincing Wendy that Felix was just a friend, years of convincing her that Felix would eventually leave his life, who was Peter kidding? He'd never let Felix leave his life. The ring came off, placed on the table beside his former fiancée, and Peter ran out, clarity finally in his thoughts.

 

Checking the schedule on his phone, Peter kicked open the doors of The Rabbit Hole, eyes wide and awake, smile stretched over his face. Felix flinched from where he stood at the bar, gasping as Peter swaggered in with the same confidence and charisma he once had, the same Peter that charmed him all the way back then.

"Peter?" Felix murmured in shock. It was like he had somehow gone back in time, bringing back the devilish Peter he once loved.

Malcolm turned to look at his son, sitting on the stool that Peter usually occupied, "Let me handle this."

"I wasn't protecting you from my father," Peter exclaimed, making sure Felix could hear him. The crowd gradually silenced, intrigued by Peter's sudden declaration, "I don't know what he did to you. All I know was that you were crying but that's all. I know he did something awful but that's not the reason I kept coming back," Peter approached the bar, eyes locked onto Felix and summoning his attention with all of his confidence.

"I love you," Peter declared, "I've always loved you."

Felix stiffened at the declaration, eyes wide and unsure.

Peter didn't hear any protests from Felix or his father so he pressed on, stepping forward with a smile, "I broke up with Wendy. I cancelled the wedding. I told her parents off. Just for you," He reached out to him, beckoning him over and away from his father, "I'll make everything right again, _just like it was before_."

The patrons of The Rabbit Hole were completely silenced, the tale of their resident bartender and his loyal friend finally coming to a head. Felix mouth was gaping slightly, eyes unblinking and wide, touched yet _unsure_. Peter finally bared his heart to him, finally said to him words he had begged to hear for years. He still remembered the text messages from long ago, back before he ever got involved with Malcolm; he remembered how much it killed him to see those word directed at him.

"Felix?" Peter whispered, a gentle smile, a quiet voice, the most sincere he'd ever been in ages.

It would've been the perfect scenario if not for the grinning scoundrel beside Felix filled with arrogance and _confidence_ like no other. Peter swallowed at the sight of his father, immediately feeling _doubt_.

"I'm so _fucking_ flattered," Felix finally replied, eyes narrowed in a glare. Peter's heart dropped, his expression fell, everything felt cold, empty, and _hollow_ , "The great _Peter Pan_ loves me."

Peter's words were so _selfish_ , so arrogant, as if it was Peter's right to control how Felix felt. Peter was so sure that Felix would roll over just like he always had that he never considered that Felix had a choice in it. His actions were just so _Peter_ that Felix curled up on himself and burst into a laughter that sounded like screams and wails. He laughed at Peter because he had no more tears to cry.

" _Fuck you, Peter_."

Malcolm didn't even bother hiding the smile on his face when Felix stepped around the far side of the bar, tossing off his bartending apron, rushing towards the older man and throwing himself into his arms. Felix looked back at Peter for just a moment before taking hold of Malcolm's face and pressing their lips together.

Peter's heart stopped, turned to stone, and fell straight through his chest. He watched as Malcolm's hands held Felix the way he's always wanted to hold his beloved friend, "Stop…" Peter unintentionally whimpered, "Stop it," He repeated as Malcolm shifted forward, deepening the kiss and tentatively sliding his tongue against his lips, "He'll hurt you. Felix, _please_ , listen to me."

A second sting ruptured his heart as Felix's tongue peeked out, wrestling with Malcolm in the most passionate kiss he had ever had. He kissed him in a way that he'd never fantasized about with Peter, malicious, dirty, with full intent to show who he belonged to.

Malcolm opened one eye when Felix utterly melted in his arms. Their lips were still locked as Malcolm peered over to his son, smirking wildly and taunting him without vocalizing it: _I win._

"No, no, no, no," Peter mumbled, watching as Felix took Malcolm's hand and walked both of them out.

Felix glanced over to Peter, whispering to him, "You can't have everything, Peter."

He abandoned Peter, finally breaking a heart other than his own. Peter remained where he was, ignoring the murmurs all around the bar. This sharp, sour pain creeping out from his chest and spreading from his limbs with every heartbeat, he wondered how Felix had lived with it for so long. Peter could barely even stand it for a minute.

 

"Are you doing alright?" Malcolm murmured, stroking at Felix's back soothingly.

As soon as the two left, Malcolm had driven them off into a random parking lot to give Felix some space to think. The boy was reclined in the backseat, eyes shut in contemplation, long fingers fighting the urge to tremble by clutching at his sweater.

Felix scraped his hands over his face, a pressure building behind his eyes, "You were right."

Malcolm ticked his head in acknowledgement, "Not the point here. I want to know if you're okay."

"I'll live," Felix replied shakily. This was it. This was the final severance to his life with Peter. He'd been pushed and pulled by him for long enough and he couldn't resist when the chance arose for him to reject Peter. He wasn't a toy, not anymore.

Yet, even now, with Malcolm at his side and nothing left to lose, why did Felix feel like his world had ended?

" _Hey…_ " Malcolm whispered, pulling Felix in, "Don't cry," He commented, stroking at his cheeks and collecting his tears.

Felix wasn't even aware that he had been crying but the second Malcolm brought his sorrow to his attention, the lanky boy immediately curled over and _wailed_. He felt Malcolm's hands scramble over him, pulling him in tight, protecting him in a comforting huddle as Felix cried hysterically into his shoulder, " _Shh, everything will be okay_ ," Malcolm's soothing voice echoed in his mind.

 _It will never be okay._ Peter was gone from his life for good. Fourteen years of his life _wasted_. He was right back where he started: A miserable, lonely orphan who had no friends and no hope for the future. Peter gave him purpose, gave him _light_ in a world made of nothingness. He couldn't even imagining living without Peter, knowing that had Peter not found him, death probably would've caught up to him before he even reached his nineteenth birthday.

" _Papa's here_."

Malcolm's voice cut through the thick murkiness, sorrow, hatred, loneliness, guilt, all of it dissipating with his kind voice.

"I'll make everything better."

Fading back, Felix pressed against the soft leather of Malcolm's jacket, breathing once more and taking in the familiar, warm scent of his fine cologne. His hands crawled up Malcolm's body, firmly planting themselves in the middle of his back, an anchor to reality. He reopened his eyes, vision still blurry with tears but no longer blinded with despair. In the darkest part of himself, Felix wanted _comfort_ and all those years of waiting for Peter were finally proven to be nothing but _empty hope_. Dirty dancing in a skanky club proved enough to empty Felix's mind the first time but this time, Felix needed so much more.

Hormones taking over, repressed sexual appetite once reserved for Peter came pouring out, Felix took hold of Malcolm's jacket by the sleeves and slid it down the older man's body. Malcolm hummed in confusion, letting Felix take off his jacket and slip his hands beneath his shirt, "What are you doing?"

"You won the bet," Felix whimpered, still too caught up in his emotions to think straight, "Peter confessed. So you get my virginity."

Felix pushed forward before Malcolm could protest, crushing their lips together and only backing off to pull Malcolm's shirt over his head. He lifted his own sweater shortly after, tossing it over the passenger's seat before kicking off his shoes.

" _Wait_ -" Malcolm mumbled out, almost immediately silenced as Felix climbed over him and pressed another harsh kiss onto his lips, "Fee-" A hand rested on his crotch, rubbing at it affectionately before moving to undo his belt. Malcolm's hands were on Felix's arms, caressing him but not in a coaxing matter, "Felix!" Malcolm shouted, shoving at Felix's head and groaning as the boy ground their hips together, finally taking off the belt and whipping it to the side. However, before Felix could unbutton Malcolm's jeans and expose him to the air, Malcolm took firm hold of both his wrists and rolled on top, pinning Felix to the seat.

"Stop this," Malcolm commanded, holding Felix down firmly as the boy squirmed under him.

"This is what you wanted," Felix replied, frantic, "Isn't it?" He struggled harder when Malcolm refused to let go, suddenly terrified for doing something wrong, "You still want me, don't you?"

_He never wanted me from the beginning. He was using me to spite Peter._

Reading his mind, Malcolm released his wrists and pulled him into a tight hug, whispering into his ear, "I still want you more than anything else in this world. And I know you want comfort right now but I won't take you like this," Felix felt like he was being crushed in his arms, the older man's strength seeming superhuman, "Your first time should be an occasion. _Special_. Not in the middle of a parking lot while you're still crying your eyes out."

At the remark, Felix immediately wiped at his eyes with the back of his arm, swallowing back the sobs that kept choking out from his throat.

"When it happens," Malcolm cooed, stroking the side of Felix's cheek lovingly, "I want it to be the greatest night of your life."

"I want you _now_ ," Felix replied, twitching when he felt a sudden heat pooling from where his hips met Malcolm's. It was clear he felt the same, not unaffected by their close proximity and their lack of clothes, but Malcolm held back. _He cared enough to hold back_ and that was enough to give Felix happiness, "Alright," Felix revised his answer.

Smiling sweetly, Malcolm retrieved his shirt from the ground, helping Felix sit up in the car, "Give me two hours. And if you're still interested…" Malcolm pecked Felix's lips, kind and gentle but the slightest bit voracious.

 _Two hours_ , "Alright."

 

The tightness of anxiety hadn't left his chest even after his quick shower. He dried his hair thoroughly in the bathroom, trying to wring out moisture even when the strands were clearly dry. Despite his eagerness a couple hours before, now that his mind had cleared, he was beginning to have doubts. Nineteen years of saving his virginity, of denying even the smallest of affection for anyone but Peter, and his first time wouldn't even be with him.

He stayed in the bathroom a lot longer than he had wanted, simply staring idly at the walls or examining the simple auburn bathrobe he had on over nothing but his boxers. He figured it'd be easier to take off. Felix had considered leaving the feathers on as a present for Malcolm but opted against it; they looked too delicate to ruin. He smiled at the older man's incessant giggling outside as he got ready, somehow sounding arrogant and innocent at the same time.

Felix left the bathroom slowly, poking his head into Malcolm's bedroom and watching the older man light a few candles around them, "You're back," Felix noted, eyes shifting to the paper bag on the floor.

Malcolm smiled to him, blowing out his match, "Excited?"

That wasn't the word Felix would've picked to describe himself but he nodded anyway. He chuckled silently as Malcolm sprayed the bed sheets with cologne, that same enticing scent now permeating the sheets and if Felix thought deeply of it, that smell would soon cling to him as well.

"Why did you always wear that cologne when I came over?" Felix asked.

"Who said I only wore it for you?" Malcolm replied, humming with mischief and Felix narrowed his eyes, "You told me you liked it. That's why."

Felix smiled a bit, knowing that it was sheer coincidence but happy that Malcolm obliged, "I like it," He groaned when Malcolm promptly sprayed it over his bed once more.

"Come on," Malcolm pat the bed, smiling politely, "Sit here."

Hesitating for just a moment, Felix bit down on his tongue and swallowed his fear, standing up stiffly from the footstool and padding over, dropping down on the bed with his feet at the edge, arms resting on his lifted knees.

"Well?" Felix murmured, confused as Malcolm picked up the paper bag from the ground and dumped its contents over Felix, a plethora of _bluebells_ raining down on him and scattering over the bed. Had Malcolm not had such a seductive look on his face, Felix would've nearly called the gesture _romantic_. He wanted to snap at the scoundrel, say something cruel, instead he ran his fingers over the flowers with a gentle smile, touched by the gesture, "You remember."

Felix jolted as the bed tilted under Malcolm's weight, the older man joining him and climbing up to his side, "Of course I do. They really brought out your eyes," He giggled, hand coaxing the bathrobe down Felix's shoulders, "Do you know what bluebells stand for?" He pressed soft kisses all along Felix's shoulder, " _Everlasting love_."

Everlasting love? Felix only chose it because he liked the way they looked. He picked up a single blossom, twirling it in his fingers before beckoning Malcolm closer and sliding it behind his ear, "Such a romantic," He muttered sarcastically, stiffening when Malcolm's hands came around his abdomen.

"You're tense," Malcolm commented, hands gliding up and secretly loving how Felix twisted and twitched under his fingers. He smirked when he pressed forward, his entire back hot against Felix's making his spine shiver. His reactions were just too _virgin_ , Malcolm couldn't resist, "Lay down. I'll help."

He directed Felix onto his stomach, letting the boy smother himself in his musky cologne and the soft, sweet scent of bluebells. He sat gently on Felix's legs, hands flat against Felix's back before rolling his thumbs forward, softening the tightened flesh.

Felix groaned under his insistent massage, arms stretching forward. Although Malcolm was softening him up, his body was still abnormally tense, still _anxious_ for what was to come, "Does it hurt?" Felix asked.

"It'll be uncomfortable in the start," Malcolm explained casually as he massaged Felix, "But I'll be gentle. I'll make it good. I promise."

With careful motions, Malcolm's hands like fire on his skin, Felix's body was soon rendered pliant, all of his muscles relaxing and softened with lust. Pleased with the result, Malcolm took the bathrobe off and turned Felix over slowly, loving how the boy melted into the sheets and rolled his shoulders erotically.

Weaving their fingers together, Malcolm pulled himself in and kissed Felix softly, lips working in chaste motions. He left a trail of butterfly kisses all along his chin, nipping at his neck playfully as he guided their woven hands up beside Felix's head, holding him still as he lapped at his tender flesh. The scent of flowers was overwhelming him but never more than the natural, _pure_ scent that wafted from Felix's skin, the same scent Malcolm planned on taking for himself.

"They say virgins have a particular scent to them that's lost after they are deflowered," Malcolm murmured in-between kisses, slowly leaving a wavy trail down Felix's chest, "Story goes that there was an emperor who believed that this scent was the key to eternal youth," He released Felix's hands, pleased when Felix left them above his head while Malcolm gliding his fingers all along his body, "So he captured all the maidens in the kingdom and locked them into a room so he could breathe that scent in and obtain immortality."

Felix chuckled lightly, blushing too hard to make any snarky expression, "You believe that?" He gasped as Malcolm took hold of his boxers, jerking them down quickly and exposing him to the air.

Malcolm remained at his thighs lapping at the inner flesh and eyeing his fully-exposed nethers with glee, "No. Of course not," He placed his hands on Felix's knees leaving goose bumps as he slid his hands forward towards his hips. Felix shuddered under the touch but did not stiffen, body far too pliant to fight back, "But there must be some merit to his story because I think _this_ will lengthen my life just a little."

Before Felix could protest, Malcolm took Felix into his mouth, going as far deep as he could till he could feel Felix at the back of his throat. Felix bucked into his mouth involuntarily, spine arching off the bed and his whole form convulsing. The heat was unbearable as he cried out, voice high and uncontrollable, babbling out lust-driven nonsense and groaning. If it wasn't for Malcolm's hands framing his hips, coaxing him into calmness, Felix would have come right then and there.

Eyes locked onto his and somehow making it so much more intense. Malcolm pulled back, lips firmly suckling on him and leaving the head with an obscene _pop_. The sloppy sound itself was enough to make Felix gasp, back arching and lips gaping, "Down boy," Malcolm cooed with one brow quirked, circling one hand around the base as he lapped at the head playfully, "No one's ever done this for you before, have they?"

Felix shook his head, groaning and thrashing on the bed as Malcolm thoroughly cleaned his erection with his tongue. He couldn't even speak, lips numb and trembling from the burning heat spreading from his loins, overwhelming him with toxic lust.

"Tell me how you want it," Malcolm whispered, lips ghosting over his erection as he spoke, "Hand job, blow job, want me to eat you out? Missionary, doggy-style, cowboy, _we'll do it all_ ," The need to thoroughly claim Felix, to be his first for everything, Malcolm thought he'd be satisfied with just his virginity but it'd never be enough. With one more deep suckle, taking his entire erection into his mouth, the boy _shuddering_ under him, Malcolm pulled back and crept up Felix's body, hands groping at his chest, pinching his nipples playfully before sliding around his neck, "Plenty of other _games_ we can play too. When you're ready."

Felix's hands closed around Malcolm's wrists, eyes glossed over and unable to focus, all Felix could do was thrust his hips against Malcolm's desperately trying to soothe the overwhelming ache. He could still feel Malcolm's lips around him, could still feel moist heat pressing down all around while his heavy tongue slathered him lustfully.

"Just do it," Felix sighed out breathlessly, voice heavy and lustful, "Just _fuck_ me."

"Crude language," Malcolm giggled, laying his whole body down on Felix as he ground their cocks together. He took Felix's head into his hands, one arm around the top and the other patting at his cheek and holding him in place, "But I don't mind," He whispered, pressed a passionate kiss to Felix's lips, forcing the boy to taste the saltiness of his own skin.

Malcolm produced a bottle of lube from his bedstead, squeezing a generous amount onto his fingers. Felix's eyes were glued to the way his fingers twisted and flexed in the air, strings of gel glistened in the soft candlelight. The confidence he showed before quickly wavered when he imagined those skilled fingers twisting around _inside him_ , searching him and memorizing his pleasure. He shut his eyes and gasped as they slid down his abdomen leaving sticky trails. Felix shuddered and took Malcolm's wrist involuntarily, his other hand clutching at Malcolm's shoulder.

"Go slow," Felix whimpered, hips shuddering as Malcolm rubbed at his opening, continuing till it _twitched_ under his insistent touch, " _Please_ ," He groaned. Malcolm's intimate ministrations brought him back to the time the older man had felt him up in his apartment, hiding behind a door while Felix talked with Peter. It took everything to hold back his cries and despite the lack of audience, Felix was still reluctant.

In response, Malcolm threw his free arm around Felix's shoulders, clutching him close while his fingers continued to massage at the heated ring of muscle. He licked his lips, eyes shining when Felix threw his head back and moaned, intoxicated by his lustful gaze. Without any warning, while Felix's head was still thrown back, Malcolm shoved his middle finger inside him, feeling Felix's heat squirming around the digit. Eyes snapping open, Felix cried out at the harsh sting, clutching at Malcolm's shoulders tightly.

" _G-Go slow_ ," Felix choked out, burying his face into Malcolm's neck and nails digging into Malcolm's shoulder, " _I'm begging you_."

It was Malcolm's turn to groan at Felix's _begging_ , a low, rumbling noise in his throat. He wondered if he should oblige Felix, go slowly, _make love_ , but his hunger got in the way and he doubled his pace, stretching Felix even harder. The boy threw his head back again, eyes shut tight and whole body shuddering as Malcolm rubbed him pliant.

Felix shook his head as Malcolm slid a second digit in, scissoring them apart inside, the intrusion feeling too big. He nearly shut his eyes again, willing himself to just lie back and take it till Malcolm flexed his fingers and _touched_ a particular spot. His eyes sprung open, mouth gaping as he _moaned_ , nearly screaming, "Wha- _what did…_ what…" Felix gasped out, cut off as Malcolm suddenly dropped him to the bed, his hand now circled around Felix's cock and jerking at it in rhythm with his fingers, two sources of pleasure heating up Felix's loins. He moaned louder, squirming and twisting on the bed while he palmed at the heat of his face, soaking the sheets in his sweat, "Malcolm, _please_ …" Felix wasn't sure if he was begging him to stop or continue.

"Shhhh," Malcolm shushed, not even looking at Felix, too concentrated on his lifting cock and the velvet heat clenched around his fingers, "Just a little more. You're doing a great job," He slid a _third_ finger inside of Felix, hypnotized by how his fingers were eagerly swallowed up and the madness it inflicted on Felix, the boy writhing and screaming uncontrollably. He worked his fingers harshly, rolling Felix onto his stomach so he could better position both hands, " _So good_ …" He whispered, nipping at his earlobe, "You're doing so good."

Whimpering more than he was moaning, Felix let Malcolm roll him over, clutching into his pillow and burying his face into the sheets and petals. This was the most pleasure he'd ever felt in his entire life, so much more than a hand job in a bathroom. He wondered if it would be like this with Peter, if Peter would be gentler or harsher, but before the thought could drive him to tears, Malcolm squeezed at his cock and tossed him out from the thought.

Felix threw his head back as his spine arched, pointing to the ceiling when Malcolm's fingers pulled away. He took in a choppy breath, his whole body _pulsating_ with tremors, matching his racing heartbeat. The raw pleasure met the cool air and left him unsatisfied, almost uncomfortable. He wasn't sure why Malcolm pulled away but he took this time to test what Malcolm had done, clenching and noticing how thoroughly slicked he was. Malcolm surprised him by slapping a hand onto his buttock, thumb toying with the oil left around his opening.

"Stretched enough?" Malcolm asked, staring straight at Felix's ass and flexing it with a thumb.

The sound of skin slapping skin startled Felix and despite knowing what was happening, he couldn't stop himself from turning around and watching Malcolm jerk himself off to Felix's naked body, palming his cock to hardness. His eyes were glued onto his erection the moment he peered down, watching as Malcolm slicked it thoroughly with gel. There was no way that would fit inside of him.

The heat of arousal was not enough to cover Felix's anxiety. He shuffled forward on the bed unconsciously, feet gliding over the sheets and towards the edge of the bed. He yelped when Malcolm's hand came down on his ankle, stopping it from leaving the bed, "Why are you scared?" Malcolm whispered, still hard but no longer touching himself.

"I told you to go slowly," Felix huffed, hoping he wasn't too breathy to be taken seriously. He whimpered when Malcolm suddenly lay against his back, pressed up hot and intimately as he began jerking himself to hardness once more.

"It's easier if I stretch you quickly," Malcolm cooed into his ear, giggling a little, "But don't worry love, I'll fuck you slow," With one hand jerking himself off, his other hand settled over Felix's erection and began to stroke both of them in unison, breathing in Felix's scent as the boy bucked underneath him, "I'll make you feel every single moment of it, memorize every single thing about this night," He dragged his tongue across the nape of Felix's neck, shutting his eyes and _cherishing_ Felix bucking back into his hips, "Are you ready, Felix?"

Felix rolled over slowly, eyes locking with Malcolm's and willing himself to get lost in them. The heat of his cock and the liquid heat filling him up was compelling him to keep going. He reached down, brushed at the head of Malcolm's erection playfully, before looking back into Malcolm's eyes, "I _want_ you."

Smiling brightly, Malcolm caged Felix in under his arms and lapped at his lips, "I _love_ you too," He whispered, distracting Felix with a heated, passionate kiss before spreading Felix's thighs and shoving himself inside.

The declaration of love was more than enough to paralyze Felix but before he could contemplate, Malcolm entered his body, claiming all of his innocence and purity. Nineteen years, _gone_ , and Felix felt no regret. He arched off the mattress, flowers sticking to his skin, mouth gaping but without sound. His toes curled in the sheets, knees clenching at Malcolm's side as he squirmed around, feeling _impaled_ by his cock.

Malcolm remained still, staring at Felix's face attentively as his features twitched and twisted, fingers and toes gripping at the sheets, eyes rolling back and shut. The perfect dance of a virgin losing his innocence to the worst man of all. Malcolm drunk it all in, letting his purity intoxicate him like a drug, eyes burrowing into Felix's pliant form. He leaned in, kissing at Felix's neck trying to calm him down before he began but his patience was running low, the heat surrounded his cock beckoning him for more even if the body was not ready.

Smirking, letting his self-indulgence take the reins, Malcolm pressed flat against Felix's body and snapped his hips upward, tossing the boy up and nearly into the headboard. Felix yelped at the thrust, hands clutching at the sheets and eventually wrapping around Malcolm when they couldn't find purchase. Malcolm snapped his hips up once more, drinking in the sudden tension in Felix's face.

Not enough. This was no where near enough. Fisting his hands on the headboard, Malcolm used the extra leverage and _slammed_ his hips against Felix, letting the boy cry out helplessly as he started a harsh, _violent_ rhythm, " _Oh god yes_ ," Malcolm sighed, shutting his eyes, brows inverting as he dropped one hand from the backboard to hold Felix in place, "You're so tight, love. _God_ , this is so _good_ ," He groaned, realizing that he loved virgins a lot more than he had thought.

Felix couldn't protest, his whole body tense and firm, trying his best to _beg_ but unable to find words, everything coming out an incomprehensible babble or squeal. Pleasure and pain, the grinding motion of Malcolm's cock inside of him, burning him from the inside out, rode up his body in unbearable waves, pushing him past his limit and rendering him into nothing but a pleasurable mess. He found himself sandwiched tightly between Malcolm and the bed, the heat of their bodies scraping against each other building intensely. His cock was crushed between them, rubbing itself hot against Malcolm's stomach. He had no where to go, hips locked in place and _wrecked_ thoroughly, fully compressed under Malcolm.

Ecstasy, electricity darting up his flesh, Felix barely even registered the kiss Malcolm planted on his lips, drowned in pleasure as he was utterly docile to Malcolm's will. His body rocked and stormed without his permission. He couldn't move unless Malcolm lifted himself. For the first time in Felix's life, he was utterly out of control and he wasn't sure if he wanted that.

"M-Mal-!" Felix cried out between a moan, gripping into the older man's shoulders as their chests scraped against each other, Malcolm's chest hairs tickling him, "S-Sl-slow," Felix choked out, throwing his head back and _screaming_ as Malcolm pressed his knees to the bed and shoved himself in deeper, penetrating him harder and harder till Felix was without complaint, too overwhelmed to speak.

Malcolm licked his lips, rocking his hips at a punishing pace, " _That's a good boy_ ," He growled, one hand still on the headboard while the other stroked at Felix's hair, patting at his cheek, rewarding him like a _dog_ , "So well-behaved, so _obedient_ , let Papa do the work," Malcolm whispered, taking hold of Felix's wrists when they fell to the bed, "Can you be a little more quiet for Papa? You're going to wake the neighbours," Malcolm joked, giggling lightly.

Felix barely caught his words, the blood pounding in his ears, " _Papa_?" was the only word he caught and he hoped Malcolm would reiterate at the suggestion. Instead, Felix found himself suddenly rolled onto his stomach, Malcolm now pressed against his back while his hands bruised his hips, thrusting into him at a new angle. Felix threw his head back once more, now gripping on the headboard himself.

At that taboo word, Malcolm's guilty pleasure, that pet name which drove Malcolm over the edge the first time, his vision sharpened, his nostrils flared, teeth baring in a voracious grin as the most sinful ecstasy sent a spark of electricity up his cock and throughout his body. He flipped Felix over, desperate to claim him in every way possible. He thrust his way back in, refusing to let himself be disjoint from Felix's heat for more than a second. That single word nearly pushed him to climax and for a brief moment, he _lost control_ and nearly drew blood at Felix's hips.

Thrashing a bit, nearing his own limit, Felix bit into his pillow to muffle his cries as Malcolm's pace became violent, nearly intolerable. Malcolm knew it as well, his imminent climax melting away all facets of self-control. Growling when Felix curled up, he took a handful of his hair and jerked his head back, forcing his back to arch at a beautiful angle.

Unblinking, storm-hued eyes never once leaving his body. Pupils blown wide matched with a snarling lip and flared nostrils like a beast. Malcolm's breathing was jagged and harsh, misting over Felix's skin. Without warning, he took hold of Felix's cock, palming it with an almost painful pressure. Felix would come first, he'd make sure of it, then he'd ride himself out and empty himself deep inside Felix's body, forever staining him.

One arm hooked around Felix's middle, Malcolm slowed his thrusts and timed them with the movement of his hand on Felix's erection. With each stroke, Malcolm matched it with a thrust, pressing at an erogenous zone deep inside him, memorizing the sound of Felix crying out at the first touch and then moaning at the second.

"So good," Malcolm whispered, nuzzling Felix's hair and nipping at the shell of his ear, " _You're so good, Felix_ ," Moaning his name and one final thrust was enough, his whole body shuddering and weak, Felix came in Malcolm's hands, heat spurting out and staining the petals that lingered on the bed. He giggled as he toyed with the sticky fluid, smearing it all along Felix's cock before taking hold of his hips and jerking them forward. Several quick thrusts later, Malcolm came inside of Felix, eyes shut and groaning heavily as he emptied himself inside of his _lover_.

Slipping out, Malcolm's eyes followed the semen drooling out of Felix, mixing with the lube that Malcolm had thoroughly used. His eyes flickered up to Felix's face, staring in wonder at the blissful, wrung-out look gracing his lovely features. _Beautiful_. Malcolm had the urge to take a picture and keep it in his collection. He rolled Felix onto his back slowly, laying down beside him so the boy could catch his breath.

Still savouring his afterglow, exhaustion ripping at his body, Felix felt boneless, like a sponge wrung out and left to dry. He clung to that lingering afterglow, the heat of his loins slowly dissipating as control returned. This was it: His first time with a man who truly loved him, _not Peter_. He could still feel the bruises on his hips, phantom fingers lingering where they were, holding him close, " _Malcolm_ ," Felix sighed, more breathless than he expected, simply replaying everything in his mind.

He instinctively rolled onto his side to face Malcolm, sensing the older man at his side judging from the heat radiating from his body. The older man was simply staring at him, eyes once again unblinking with a lazy smirk on his face. To reassure him, Felix smiled back and nudged his chin playfully, brushing off a few petals that were stuck in his hair.

Malcolm's smile widened, exposing a toothy grin, "Couldn't get enough of you," He interrupted himself with a snicker, "I still want more," He said, resting a hand gently on his hip and gliding it upward, tracing his ribs, "How was it for you?"

Felix flashed him a tired smile, "It was great," More intense and rough than he'd ever imagined but a part of him didn't really mind, "Thank you."

Malcolm glowed at his words, shifting over on the bed to tower over him, "Idiot," He snickered, leaning in, "You don't have to thank me for that," He finished, pressing a kiss to Felix's lips. Heart, soul, and purity claimed for himself.

 

With a bouquet of yellow-pink roses in hand, Peter made his way towards the Darling estate, climbing over the plethora of flowers instead of taking the winding cobblestone path. He dusted himself off, preparing himself as he rung the doorbell and awaited his berating.

To his surprise, John Darling opened the door, "Peter," John greeted, expression solemn.

"John," Peter replied, stiff smile on his face.

John nearly looked like he wanted to slam the door on his face, "Did Wendy call you over?"

"No, I came to apologize," Peter explained, "I embarrassed her in front of her parents and I… said some things I didn't mean," He gestured to the bouquet in his hands, "I brought her favourite. The same ones we're using for the wedding."

" _What wedding?_ " John said snappishly.

The Darling brother refused to move and Peter's patience was beginning to wane. Ever since Felix had left him, his life had been dreadfully boring, finally culminating in a miserable day where he found himself _abandoned_ and _rejected_ at every turn. At the very least, Peter would not let this happen again even if it meant returning to Wendy. They had their differences in the past, Peter's brutish nature occasionally bleeding out and conflicting with Wendy. Flowers and seemingly-sincere apologies tended to patch things up between the two.

"Are you going to let me in?" Peter asked, still maintaining his hollow but friendly smile. John's feet remained rooted to the ground, "What? Are you going to scold me for what happened yesterday?" John shook his head and almost immediately, Peter realized what was on John's mind, " _Felix is none of your business_."

"He's with your father!" John shouted, brows knit in confusion. He was still burning from that run-in at the supermarket, still burning from the very first time Malcolm spat at him, "How could you do this to him?"

Peter scoffed, dropping pleasantries as his smile warped into a snarl, "I didn't do a thing to him. He's the one stupid enough to go for my father."

"Because you forced him to," John snapped, also dropping pleasantries as he shouted back, "It's all just a game to you! Preying on my sister and Felix. You don't care about them. You just want to use them!"

" _Shut up_ ," Peter growled, pressing forward and almost surprised when John didn't back down, "You know _nothing_ about me.

John responded with a dry, humourless chuckle, "Felix told me enough. He said you saved him when he was little, sneaking around the orphanage, looking for the most miserable child to be your best friend. Felix honestly thought you _chose_ him out of genuine friendship but I understood: You just wanted a _servant_ who had nothing else but you."

"Felix is my best friend," Peter hissed, "Are you sure you're not projecting because you want Felix? You're a pompous, spoiled rich brat who's had his entire life handed to him on a silver platter by his parents. How could you ever want a street rat like Felix? He'd make a nice _toy_ right? A simple, rough, lost little pet just waiting to be groomed into your on-hand eye-candy."

For a moment, Peter thought he had won because John hadn't said a word, merely staring at Peter with absolute contempt. Peter almost spoke up, almost tried to declare his victory till John's gaze met his again, "I love him because he's a wonderful person who never puts himself first. Even if it’s a boy he hadn't talked to in years, he'd go out of his way to drive him to a hospital," He shook his head as he contemplated Peter, "But he's so polluted by _you_. He doesn't even have his own thoughts anymore because he constantly has to shape his life around indulging you."

"I never asked Felix to do any of that," Peter hissed, voice clearly faltering.

"You never needed to ask. Felix always knew what you wanted and did it anyway."

"That's not-" Peter couldn't finish his sentence, an ache in his heart distracting him.

John let out a tired sigh. He hated dealing with Peter even during family dinners, usually letting Michael take over. When both Wendy and Felix were on the line, he couldn't just stand by and do nothing, "Because of you, he can't think for himself anymore so he latched on to the next closest thing," Peter couldn't even find the heart to deny John's accusation, knowing he would fool no one, not even himself, "And I know you're doing the same to my sister."

Peter said nothing. There was no amount of denial that could change John's mind.

John watched Peter with nothing but contempt, "Wendy doesn't want to talk to you. Stay out of her life."

Peter never kept track of Wendy's friends and both of them knew, his own apathy restraining him. The roses were crushed under his grip, strangled to death. Had it been Michael who opened the door, Peter would've expected at least a punch to the face. Instead, John shut the door silently, refusing to start a brawl and let Peter have the upper hand.

Growling, throwing a fit over his own inadequacy, Peter hurled the roses into the side garden, purposely kicking over a garden gnome before walking off the Darling property. There was no way he was going to class today. Everyone would know what he did and would be out for blood. _We told you he was scum!_

He reached for his phone, automatically scrolling for Felix's number whenever he was in a bad mood and needed to vent. He nearly called, phone already to his ear and ready to shout before he _remembered_ and snapped his mouth shut. _Felix isn't… Felix was…_ Peter couldn't finish the thought, teeth sinking into his lip as he pocketed his phone. Never again would Felix drive him around, listen to him rant, _cherish him_ just for being there. It shouldn't have been this painful. He didn't realize how badly he depended on Felix until the boy was truly gone, not just a petty grudge that would be cleared up with a good night out. _Felix was gone from his life forever_ , Wendy wanted nothing to do with him, and Peter was utterly lost.

 _No._ He couldn't think like that. It wasn't over, not yet. He could get Felix back as long as his father wasn't there, nothing to give Felix confidence to fight back. He winced at his cruel words. Felix wasn't a toy, a _pet_ to be fought over between him and his father. _Breakfast, breakfast first_. It had been a sleepless night and he had skipped breakfast to pick up the roses. He needed a full meal then he'd have the energy to win Felix back.

Peter hoped that this was not just an unconscious attempt to delay the inevitable rejection.

 

_It wasn't fair that his wife left him with a worthless son. It wasn't fair. It never was. He remembered when he used to have it all, when everyone in the town cowered as they saw him, neck-deep in debt that Malcolm was more than happy to exploit._

_And then he was cut off, forced to adopt another last name and abandon all his power._

_He became a worthless middle-aged man with no friends, no allies; just a town who laughed at him for once giving them terror, a wife who ran away with another when life became too miserable, and a son whom he despised. He had nothing left but empty arrogance as he spoke, gambling with power he did not own._

_"Call me again when you're interested, Malcolm," The seductive woman said as she slipped on her dress._

_Malcolm sat up slowly, eyes glued onto her voluptuous form, "Can you stay a bit longer?"_

_She looked at Malcolm with an tired look, "If you want me to stay, you have to pay me again."_

_"I just want some company."_

_"Then call a friend," She remarked coldly, picking up her jacket from the floor._

_"I don't have any," Malcolm replied, eyes weary as they drifted to the floor, "I don't have any friends in this town. I don't have any money either."_

_The woman rolled her eyes, slipping on a pair of heels, "Then call me when you do."_

_She didn't bother looking back, stepping out from his room and sighing when she noticed the little boy standing across from her, eyes matching his father's, scowling at her like she was invading his home. She paid little attention to him, leaving and returning to the city._

_Malcolm rubbed at the creases of his forehead, scraping a hand through his scruff. He took a swig of vodka, noting that his liquor cabinet was looking barren. At the very least, they had given him a huge severance fee as long as he came back and_ groveled _for it. A pathetic gift to his worthless lifestyle._

_Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. Everything was worthless._

_"Mr. Pan?"_

_The tiny voice was a breath of purity in his suffocating sin. He wrapped the boy up in his jacket, relishing the honest affection in his eyes when he watched Malcolm. Peter had chosen well, a perfect boy who would devote his entire life to a single person. Peter had trained him well enough to serve him hand-and-foot,_ it'd be no problem for him to do the same.

 _Felix meant_ lucky _and this boy brought a new fortune to Malcolm. He didn't mind groveling on his knees at the pawn shop for his money, ignored the cruel remarks and laughter from those he had once bullied, all he could see was Felix, the one person who didn't know the truth._

_But when he grew up, when he listened to the town, he'd grow to hate Malcolm too and Malcolm couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let Peter pollute his thoughts with the truth. He had to make sure Felix never knew, had to groom him properly so he'd never inquire. Not like his wife who eventually snapped out of it and ran off with the ice cream lady._

_He would become his precious, little Felix. Malcolm dreamed of the day when Felix would reciprocate his affection, soft kisses with boyish lips, perhaps he'd grow up lean and tall, the perfect trophy to show off to his ex-wife. But the more Malcolm fantasized, the more impatient he got, and he nearly lost control when he walked Felix into his bedroom while Peter was out._

_It wasn't fair he was so young._

 

Humming a random tune, Malcolm playfully tapped away at his laptop, licking his lips as he uploaded the video camera footage to his computer. His eyes peered over his shoulder and to the bed where Felix lay on his stomach, still blissfully sleeping and covered with petals. The majority of the flowers remained glued into his mess of hair, _so cute_ , Malcolm snickered, turning back to his laptop and disconnecting the camera.

In the dark, he knew Felix wouldn't be able to see the camera tucked behind a few books on his desk. Despite this being one of the few criterion Felix had listed in their deal, Malcolm couldn't resist keeping record of this: The night Felix lost his virginity, the night Malcolm's fantasy finally came true. He glanced back once more, lips stretched into a serpent's smile before scrolling to a random position and _playing_ his movie. Malcolm shut his eyes, fighting the heat building at his crotch when he heard Felix's voice high and breathy on the footage.

A murmur on the bed startled him from his fantasy. Malcolm paused the video, shut his laptop, and immediately flew to Felix's side. The boy was still fast asleep, murmuring quietly as he twisted around. It seemed like he was having a nightmare but Malcolm couldn't be sure. Sitting beside him, Malcolm took Felix's hand and stroked the back of it gently, coaxing the wicked images out from his dreams. He ghosted a hand through the petals to distract himself, occasionally pulling out an intact blossom and promptly inserting it into Felix's hair.

Laying on his bed, blissful and pale, decorated with fresh flowers, _beautiful_. Felix was _beautiful_ and no one would ever get to see him like this except for Malcolm. Eyes drifting shut, Malcolm pulled the blanket back and pressed kisses all along Felix's spine, loving how the boy shifted under him with each ticklish touch.

" _Malcolm_?" Felix murmured, eyes slipping open and noticing the older man hunched over his form.

The older man chuckled, sliding back to the side and carding a hand through Felix's hair, "Good morning, S _leeping Beauty_ ," He cooed, loving it when Felix glared at him tiredly, "Slept well?"

Felix nodded slowly, stretching his arms but remaining on his stomach, "Hurts a little," A small gasp slipped from his lips and Malcolm crept over him, straddling him before laying down flat against his back smudging kisses all along his shoulders. He hummed appreciatively, ready to drift back into sleep until he felt Malcolm's hand cupping his thighs and gliding upward, "H-Hey…"

"Ready for round two?" Malcolm giggled, slapping the supple flesh gently. His left hand slid along the cleft of his ass, teasing Felix before pressing the first joint of his finger inside of him.

Felix flinched, instinctively grabbing Malcolm's wrist, "Stop," He murmured, squirming around under Malcolm, "I'm still sore."

"A bit of stretching can fix that up," Malcolm hummed, nuzzling the back of Felix's neck before flexing his finger inside of him.

Felix groaned as the ministrations made his hips seize with ache, "Malcolm _please_ ," His voice came out as an unintentionally seductive whine.

Pleased with his voice, Malcolm lifted himself from Felix's form after planting a kiss on the back of his head, "Stay in bed. I'll make Eggs Benedict," He reluctantly pulled away from his lover, hands twitching immediately when he could no longer feel Felix's heat on his skin.

When Malcolm returned to the bedroom, humming and happy as he carried the breakfast tray up, Felix had fallen back asleep, clearly still worn out from last night. Malcolm licked his lips gleefully and put the tray aside, stroking Felix's shoulder as he sat down beside him. The boy was such a virgin, so new to ecstasy that a single night wore him out. Malcolm groaned at the thought, shutting his eyes and replaying that night in his head.

He dipped a finger into the hollandaise sauce, nudging at Felix's lips and coaxing his tongue out to clean the creamy sauce off his finger, "Tasty?" Malcolm asked, brushing Felix's cheek gently as he awoke.

Felix murmured weakly, eyes opening slowly with a lazy smile, "Five more minutes."

Malcolm snickered, closing in to press a kiss to Felix's lips, "The food's going to be cold in five minutes," He said, rolling the blanket back and helping Felix sit up, "Eat first, then go back to sleep. It'll help you get your energy back."

At his command, Felix placed the tray on his lap and began to ate while Malcolm crept behind him, seating Felix between his legs and against his chest while he cleaned the flowers out of Felix's hair. He lapped at Felix's neck gently, wanting so much _more_ but knowing that he'd scare Felix away if he kept pushing. _He'd go slowly this time_ and not risk scaring him off.

"I love you," Malcolm whispered into his hair, stroking at Felix's shoulders and massaging the strain from them.

Felix paused, turning around to stare into Malcolm's eyes, seeing softness hidden behind his mischievous gaze. He didn't respond though, cutting open the poached eggs and feeding a bite to Malcolm.

Peter hated taking the bus. It was crowded and consistently smelled off trash, bodies, and engine oil. It was one of the reasons why Felix picked up driving in high school despite his limited budget. Peter needed a chauffeur and Felix would always willingly oblige. His heart stung at the thought, immediately replaying the events at the Rabbit Hole, Felix embracing his wretched father and rejecting him.

What did he expect, really? That Felix would just run into his arms, eager to scrub off Malcolm's touch from his skin? _Idiot_. Everything he had done to Felix, leaving him behind, disbanding the Lost Boys, he felt foolish to think that all of that would amount to nothing, that Felix would be eager to come back for more suffering.

Peter looked down at the small bouquet in his hand: _Bluebells_ , in assorted colours. Perhaps this would be enough to trigger the good memories, make him forget about the awful things Peter had done and take him back.

He dreaded the mechanical voice announcing his stop. He stepped off the bus, looking down the street to the house on the far right with black windows and dead flowers, as usual. His steps were faster as he approached, desperate to see Felix and eager to punch his father in the face. He didn't bother with the doorbell, unlocking the door himself and stepping in.

"Malcolm?" Peter tried not to growl his name. He looked to his left, noticing that his father was sitting on the couch watching something blurry and dark on screen, explicit noises coming from the speakers. Peter rolled his eyes in disgust before slamming the door shut, "Where is he?"

Malcolm hummed an inquiry over the couch, not even bothering to take his eyes off the screen, "Where's who?"

"Felix, I know he's here," Peter growled, fighting the urge to crush the bouquet in his hands.

"What makes you think that?"

"He wasn't at his apartment," Peter replied, approaching his father from behind, "And his car was still in the parking lot. So he has to be here."

"Ah, that makes sense," Malcolm replied casually, turning down the volume of his movie, "He's sleeping upstairs. Tuckered out from last night."

Peter knew Felix would've been destroyed from last night, even more so than him. He shut his eyes, trying not to imagine Felix crying into Malcolm's arms. He was distracted by the obscene sounds coming from the television, distorted voice crying out for more pleasure, "Are you seriously watching porn this early in the day?"

"Porn?" Malcolm snickered, peering back at Peter with the utmost arrogance and spite, "This isn't porn."

"Of course it…" Peter froze as a head of blond hair flashed on the screen, a fist digging into messy locks, back pulled into an arch, _bluebells stuck to his body and barely visible in the shadows._ He swallowed harshly, dropping the bouquet to the ground as he realized what was on screen, " _Felix_ …"

Terrifying and infuriating, Malcolm _laughed_ at him, shutting off the TV and standing so he could face his son, "That innocence he's been saving for you? It's mine. _I won_ , Peter," He came around the couch, leaning against the back of it while Peter stayed immobile, overloaded by his father's words, " _Oh god_ , he was so _good_ ," Malcolm nearly moaned, mocking Peter, "Tired him out though, just a single round. He'll get better at it though. _I'll make sure of it_."

In an instant, Peter struck Malcolm across the face with all his strength, sending the older man reeling into the couch. His whole body was trembling with rage, teeth clenched so tightly, he couldn't even articulate, silver tongue weighted down with blinding hate.

Malcolm clutched the side of his face, chuckling a bit as he got back up, "Did you know Wendy made a deal with me?" He taunted, eyes smirking, "She asked me to break you and Felix up in exchange for a good name in my family. You thought you were so clever, stringing along Wendy and Felix when all along, they've been _plotting_ against you since the beginning."

It confirmed his suspicions, why Wendy warmed up to Malcolm so quickly, why Felix endorsed working on the wedding with Malcolm. He never fully believed it though, honestly thinking he was the only chessmaster in this game, "It's just a game to you," His words were an echo he was ashamed to say.

"I guess we have a lot more in common than we thought," Malcolm replied, lapping at the blood on his lip, "That's why Felix gravitated towards you, I guess. You were the next closest thing to _me_."

Taken aback, Peter's eyes narrowed in confusion, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Felix loved _me_ first," Malcolm remarked, tone too stern to be kidding, "I was the one who was kind to him, _not you._ I took him out from the orphanage, I let him play whatever he wanted. I brought him out for ice cream. Since he was a little boy, he'd always tell me that he loved me."

Peter growled at his suggestion, "He loved you as a father. Not a lover," His fists clenched again, "You're completely _sick_!" He remembered John's words, confirming that Malcolm was just a sick, delusional man, "He doesn't love you. You're taking advantage of him like you always did. Just like whatever the hell you did to him whenever you pulled him aside."

Catching Peter off guard, Malcolm threw his fist at the boy and nearly broke his jaw. Unlike Malcolm, Peter was hurled onto the floor by the strike, colliding with a glass lamp and nearly breaking it. He clutched at his jaw, spitting out a spot of blood as he glared up at Malcolm.

"I wanted him first!" Malcolm growled, flexing his hand as his knuckles ached from the strike against his son, "He wanted me and you couldn't stand it so you took him away!"

Growling, Peter spat blood again upon the hardwood floor, crawling backwards as he got to his feet shakily, "Shut the hell up!" Peter barked, "I saw how you looked at him," Peter would never forget the way Malcolm stared at Felix just like how he stared at the countless prostitutes he brought home. As a child, it made him _throw up_ , "I had to get him away to protect him," The moment he saw Felix under his bed crying hysterically was the final straw. He took Felix away and never went back home.

"Protect him?" Malcolm mocked, "You're the one who hurt him most," He caught Peter's fist when it flew at him, expecting the strike and more than happy to retaliate. He punched Peter in the stomach, his son's breath knocked out of him with a strangled cry, "Thanks for not taking his virginity though," Peter lashed out at him to no avail, getting shoved harshly into a wall.

Peter did hurt Felix. He did ruin every chance of happiness Felix had whether it was a new job, friends, or a potential lover, Peter dashed all of it to the ground so he could keep Felix like an accessory. But if he did nothing now, if he left Felix with his father, he'd only be hurting Felix so much more, "You know you're full of shit, right?"

Malcolm folded his arms, watching as Peter stood back up slowly, "Got something to say, boy?"

"You're right. The only reason Felix is with you is because of me," Peter started, charisma returning to his eyes, "Because he _loves_ me so he went to you for comfort. You're rebound. And the moment I prove to Felix that I truly love him. He'll come back to me," He snickered cruelly, knowing that his words were penetrating Malcolm's barrier, "You'll do the same to him as you did to _Mum_."

Malcolm twitched visibly at the remark, voice lowered to a growl, "You barely even know what happened."

"I know enough. I know you drove her off so badly that she ran into the arms of a woman," Peter mocked, licking his lips, "You'll do the same to Felix. I know you will. And I'll be there to take him back."

Malcolm's fist flew again but Peter was ready, shifting back to take hold of his arm and hurl him against the wall. Peter struck next, punching his father across the face once more and delivering swift strikes to his stomach and chest. He hadn't been in a fight since high school; all of his latent frustration and bloodlust was pouring out and it felt especially good against his own father. He took a strike to his cheek without flinching, matching Malcolm by breaking his nose with a head-on strike.

" _Fucking brat_ ," Malcolm growled, enraged as he took a firm hold of Peter arm and twisted it behind him, shoving him harshly against the wall and rattling the glass lamp beside him, "Felix is nothing like that hussy!" He nearly snapped Peter's arm till his son took the lamp from the table and slammed it across Malcolm's body, dazing him just enough to squirm free. The glass shattered on contact and left a puddle of sharp glass on the floor which Peter wisely avoided.

Peter rested against the touch, rubbing at his shoulder, catching his breath for just a second too long as Malcolm lunged at him and tackled him to the floor, just barely missing the glass, pinning Peter down and punching him over and over.

"What's going on?" Felix muttered, coming down the stairs shakily and horrified at the sight of Malcolm beating Peter on the floor. He swallowed harshly, despising Peter but never wanting him to suffer like this. Felix bolted down the stairs, running at Malcolm and trying to pry him off.

In the back of his mind, Felix remembered another time when Malcolm had once looked like this. Peter was there, his eyes defiant and screaming at his father, damning him with language completely unfit for a child. Malcolm was yelling back, snarling at his son, tossing things to the ground in rage. Felix sat between them both, covering his ears, terrified just like he was now. He could never stand up to Peter; he had no right to. So instead, Felix pleaded to Malcolm, babbling in a high pitched voice to deaf ears all till he said the magic word.

_"Papa! Please stop!"_

" _Papa,_ " Felix whimpered out unconsciously.

At that single word, Malcolm broke off, stumbling back on his heels as he caught his breath. His eyes fell upon Felix, feral and eager, adrenaline was still coursing through his veins and his rage quickly turned into arousal. His eyes landed immediately on the feathers woven into Felix's hair, the boy had put them on himself, voluntarily letting Malcolm claim him. He peered down at Peter, smirking a bit before mopping up the blood dripping from his nose and lunging at Felix, trapping him in an iron embrace as he kissed him passionately.

Felix struggled at first, startled by the taste of iron and the heavy smell of sweat on the older man but his insistent tongue and careful lips quickly settled Felix's panic. His hands moved automatically, framing the older man and clutching him close as they shared their passion.

"Stop…"

By all means, Malcolm was winning, but Peter planted an awful idea into his mind. If Felix left him, Malcolm would never be able to bear the shame of losing to his son when he held all the cards. His wife left him because she had too much autonomy, too much ambition, and when Malcolm denied her so he wouldn't have to share her, she fled. He couldn't let the same happen to Felix. _Couldn't let Peter win._

"Get off of him!" Peter growled, prying Felix out of his grasp and shoving his father into the wall, hands closing around his neck and _strangling him_.

Felix took hold of Peter's shirt, arms curling around his chest trying to pull him back, "Stop! Peter, stop!" He cried, horrified when Malcolm clawed helplessly at Peter's wrist. With all his strength, using his height to his advantage, Felix successfully pried Peter off and away from his father. His arms remained tightly around Peter's torso, completely unaffected by the intimate contact

Without thinking, fueled with nothing but rage, hatred, and self-loathing, Peter twisted around quickly and threw Felix to the ground. By the time he realized what he had done, that he had turned his hand against Felix, it was far too late. Worst than Peter could've ever imagined, Felix hit the ground face first into the pile of sharp glass.

The room became silent when Felix cried out in pain. Peter's heart stopped, eyes following the blood dripping down Felix's chin. Malcolm hurried to catch his breath, desperate to get to Felix's side, "No…no, no, no," Peter mumbled. He didn't mean to do that. _He didn't mean to hurt Felix_ , "Oh god, Felix," He brushed the glass away, kneeling to Felix and reaching for him, "Let me see."

 _"Go to hell!"_ Felix barked, clutching at the awful gash across his face gushing with blood, "Haven't you done enough? Why can't you just let me be happy?"

Shoving Peter aside, Malcolm came to Felix's side, gently dabbing at the blood with the sleeve of his shirt, "Come on. I'll bring you to the hospital," He helped Felix up slowly, pulling a stray scarf off the coat rack and holding it lightly against Felix's face.

Peter seethed when Felix took hold of Malcolm's shoulder, clinging to him for balance. He should be the one taking Felix to the hospital, making up for his mistake, not him. He ran forward, grabbing Malcolm by the collar and yanking him back, "I'll take him to the hospital."

He froze as Malcolm turned and _glared_ at him, the utmost darkest contempt and purest hatred crystallized in his expression. He'd never seen his father so infuriated and it scared him off instantly. Peter backed away, watching as Malcolm's harsh gaze tore away and he slammed the door behind them.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to make everything right. Peter glanced down at the shards of glass now scattered along the floor stained with Felix's blood. He picked up the small bouquet he had bought, reminded of how the storekeeper wondered if it was for his girlfriend. If only he were so lucky. Weary, defeated, Peter placed the bouquet on the table and backed off.

If anyone was going to save Felix, it wasn't going to be him.

 

"It's not as bad as it looks. I would recommend stitches but it’s too close to your eye. A bandage should be fine though," Dr. Whale said, dabbing at the gash on Felix's face with rubbing alcohol, "It's a bit deep so there'll be scarring after it heals up."

Felix nodded weakly, wincing but remaining as still as possible as Whale sealed his wound with a bandage. He caught himself in the reflection of the mirror, a jagged cut creeping over his left cheek, across his nose bridge, and ending right at his forehead. He was _mutilated_ by Peter Pan, of all people.

"Felix?" Malcolm called out as he entered the room. He had been patched up by the nurse outside. At worse, he had a bandage over his nose, setting it in place after Peter nearly broke it. With a relieved look, he ran towards Felix only to be stopped by Whale _throwing a punch at his face_.

Felix jolted at the strike, standing immediately.

"Nurse, call the cops," Whale barked.

"What the hell?" Malcolm growled, "What did I do?"

"You _know_ what you did," Whale hissed back, turning to Felix, "Don't worry. He won't hurt you anymore."

Felix leapt to his feet, ignoring the jarring throb of his face as he ran to Malcolm's side, "Stop. Malcolm didn't do this," Whale honestly looked surprise, "It was…Peter."

"My son," Malcolm clarified, throwing an arm around Felix and kissing his intact cheek, "He attacked both of us."

Whale kept his eyes on Felix, trying to read him, "You don't have to pretend for his sake. You don't deserve to be hurt no matter what he says. We can protect you."

"He's not hurting me," Felix replied calmly, taking Malcolm's hand without fear, "He really isn't."

Whale kept his mouth shut, glaring at Malcolm as the scoundrel shot him an arrogant look. He backed away, letting Malcolm and Felix leave the hospital. Malcolm led Felix back to the car, merely sitting in the front and petting Felix's wrist to soothe him.

"Does it hurt?" Malcolm whispered, kissing the back of his hand lightly.

Felix shook his head. He'd endured worse yet somehow, the wound being inflicted by _Peter_ made everything hurt so much more. He sighed heavily, taking Malcolm's hand and pressing it against his other cheek. Peter had already hurt him so much; he shouldn't be surprised that Peter would hurt him physically as well.

Something odd did stand out though, "What did Dr. Whale mean?"

"Hm?" Malcolm hummed, turning to Felix as he started the car.

"He said he you knew what you did," Felix inquired, a flutter of insecurity sitting at the base of his stomach, "What does that mean?"

Malcolm paused, sighing weakly as he pulled out from the parking lot, "I didn't get along with my wife. I lost control and we got into fights. She ran off with someone else, blaming me for everything. She was just as guilty as I was, I swear."

Felix wasn't sure if he was relieved. He couldn't afford to trust the wrong person again.

Lifting his hand off the wheel, Malcolm took Felix's hand into his own, "I'll never hurt you. I promise."

Tranquility returning to him, Felix took Malcolm's hand and pressed it to his cheek, smiling lightly at the gentle warmth. He nodded back, trusting Malcolm like he had once trusted Peter. Felix looked to Malcolm, speaking up, "Let's go home."


	8. Miscalculation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The idea for Peter's mother was shamelessly stolen from Sporklift during the workshopping phase of this fic.

"You failed," His professor announced, handing Peter back his midterm paper with a hint of smugness, "Perhaps if you'd stop skipping the lectures, you'd be in a better position."

Peter wasn't taking any of this, storming out from his professor's office. It wasn't Peter's fault the lectures were so boring. He didn't like taking notes either, spending most of his time doodling in his notebook. As he went for a coffee, a crowd of students cut him off rudely, glaring at him before walking away. _Wendy's friends_. Still bitter after _months_ had passed since Peter broke up the wedding. Since that day, Wendy wouldn't even look at him, spending most of her time surrounded by friends like a protective barrier.

Peter sold his apartment, unable to sustain himself without Wendy's financial help. With what he had left over, he moved into Felix's old apartment, reasoning with himself that the only reason he did so was because it was cheap. No air-conditioning, a faulty shower, bad heating, and a single room reminiscent of a motel, Peter wasn't sure how Felix could live like this for so long. He figured Felix must've been more than eager to move in with Malcolm, a stable home with decent accommodations.

He didn't have a job. How was he going to keep up rent and tuition for the next few years? Peter collapsed on his bed, combing a hand through his hair. He was running out of savings, just barely scraping by with discount microwave meals. He scrolled through the numbers on his phone; he had called every senior Lost Boy at least once, disguising his plea for help as a casual meeting. Every single one of them rejected him, still furious over what he had done. He tried calling Wendy. She didn't even pick up.

Peter was miserable.

No doubt his father was ecstatic.

He couldn't stop himself from checking his clock, noting that it was nearly five, and putting on his heavy jacket and scarf, heading to Granny's to pick up a snack. Felix's apartment was the perfect distance to everything. It only furthered cemented the suspicion that Felix never needed a car except to drive Peter around.

Peter walked into the diner, hoping that he had timed everything right yet also hoping he had timed everything _wrong_. He swallowed his fear and entered, holding back a gasp as Felix left the bar with takeout in hand, his eyes immediately locking with Peter's.

"Felix," Peter murmured, a small smile lifting his lips, "It's been a while."

Early dinner because Malcolm liked sleeping early so he could sleep in bed with Felix longer. Peter knew his father too well.

The gash he had inflicted on Felix still lingered in the form of a crooked scar creeping up his cheek. An awful disfiguration that made the boy look _feral_ , accidentally complementing the feathers he still wore by his left ear. Every time he saw it, Peter was filled with regret.

Felix could not meet Peter's eyes, scratching at a loose string on his jacket to distract himself, "Hi," He murmured. This was an improvement; Felix usually stayed quiet.

Peter never thought small talk would be his greatest bane. He cleared his throat, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "Hal said you quit your job."

"Didn't need it anymore."

"Because my dad's taking care of you?" Peter had to hide the contempt in his voice lest he scare Felix away. The lanky boy nodded back, "That's… nice," He didn't want to move yet, didn't want Felix to leave. A part of him felt like Felix wanted the same, "What's for dinner?"

Felix peered down at his takeout bag, "Pasta salad. Roast chicken."

Peter snickered a bit, "I agree. The lasagna is overrated," He glowed when Felix smiled a bit. He flinched when Felix tried to shift around him, hand reaching out reflexively to take Felix by the wrist. The lanky boy stopped, eyes wide and almost fearful. Immediately, Peter pulled back and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "I just want to talk a bit."

Felix stared down at the food, nodding unconsciously towards the wafting steam.

Peter understood well enough but couldn't find it in his heart to move, "How about…tonight?" He braced himself, wincing before the rejection came, "Let's hang out. It's been so long."

There was no response, the diner seemed silent around them. There was clearly some conflict on Felix's face, the need to hate Peter and his still-burning affection for him twisting inside his mind.

"Okay."

Peter's eyes snapped open. Felix wasn't smiling but he didn't look unhappy. Stunned for a while, Peter quickly swallowed the dryness in his throat and continued, "The Rabbit Hole, nine o'clock," He commanded out of reflex before tacking on a quick, "If that's okay with you."

Felix nodded back, giving him a brief, close-lipped smile before stepping around Peter and exiting the diner. Peter wasn't going to lie: That was probably the best thing to happen to him in a very long time. He did a small fist pump, nearly skipping over to the bar to order a coffee.

 

"I've got dinner," Felix announced as he stepped into the house, kicking off his shoes and walking into the kitchen, "Malcolm?" The older man wasn't waiting for him in the kitchen. Sighing, Felix quickly went up the stairs, knowing exactly what Malcolm was doing.

Folding Felix's clothes, Malcolm smiled to him as he came in, "Good to see you, love. Just been reorganizing the closet," He gestured inside the closet, noting Felix's neatly folded clothing which Malcolm had taken directly out from his suitcase _without permission_ , "All the space on the left is yours plus the bottom shelf in the back. I'm sure that'll be enough."

"I told you not to go through my stuff," Felix grumbled, snatching the clothes from Malcolm's hands and shutting his suitcase.

"I'm not going through your stuff," Malcolm replied with a pout, "I'm just helping you unpack."

"I'll unpack myself," Felix muttered quietly, pushing the suitcase aside.

Felix gasped as arms suddenly wrapped around him, Malcolm resting his head against his shoulder, "I'm sorry love," He nipped gently at Felix's ear, "I'll make it up to you tonight," He stroked at Felix's left arm, warming him before culling him in for a kiss.

As soon as Felix reciprocated, Malcolm pulled away and left the room. Despite the submission in Malcolm's words, Felix knew sex tonight would be slightly rougher; Malcolm hated being denied. It wasn't much of a problem for him, used to Malcolm's moods. A part of him somewhat enjoyed it, losing control under Malcolm's careful hands, _begging him_ and the anticipation of being denied. Felix smirked a bit to himself as he came down the stairs, wondering when he developed such a preference of sex. _He blamed Malcolm._

"Malcolm?" Felix said as he scooped more pasta salad onto his plate, "I'm going out tonight."

The older man looked up, lapping away the barbecue sauce on his lower lip, "Hanging out with the Lost Boys again? I haven't seen them in a while. Sounds fun."

Coughing at the implication, Felix pretended to clear his throat with a sip of water, "Hal's throwing a party. He invited me to go."

Felix nearly gasped when he looked up, noticing how Malcolm's gaze bore into him, unblinking and still. There was a quiver on his lip, the urge to smile fighting with his need for composure. Breaking the intense eye contact, Felix reached for more pasta salad and relaxed when Malcolm tore away and slouched in his chair.

"Hal?" Malcolm grumbled, "Why's he inviting you to a party?"

Felix shrugged lazily, "I used to work for him?"

Malcolm grumbled again, clearly unhappy, "His parties are no fun. Don't go out tonight."

Placing his fork on the plate, Felix collected his composure and responded, "I already said I'd go," He finished up his plate quietly, standing up abruptly to toss the paper plate into the trash, "I'll see you tonight."

Malcolm acted friendly as he boxed up the extra food, said nothing of ill will as he sat around in the bedroom watching Felix sort through his clothing in the closet yet for some reason, Felix could feel nothing but bitter contempt as Malcolm approached him just before he was going to leave and said, "Let me drive you to The Rabbit Hole."

"I'm going to be out late," Felix muttered quickly, "I'll just drive myself back."

"Nonsense, if you're drinking, I don't want you to drive. Just call me and I'll pick you up," Malcolm explained with a loving smile on his face. He stroked Felix's intact cheek with his fingers, combing through the feathers behind his ear before gliding down his sweater, "Come on. You're going to be late."

Silently nodding and quietly nodding to Malcolm's miscellaneous suggestions in the car, Felix _begged_ that Peter wasn't waiting for him outside, begging that he stuck to his habits and remained inside on his usual seat. He didn't need everything falling into chaos again. His scar ached horribly at the thought, reminding him of the last time Peter interfered with his life.

"Felix?" Malcolm called out, pulling up beside The Rabbit Hole, "You look jumpy. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," Felix muttered quickly, pulling on the door handle, "See you to-"

Malcolm's hand was suddenly on his forearm, pulling him back and away from the door. Felix gasped, feeling the man's arm wind around his body and hold him firm, a mouth latching onto his neck, beard tickling his skin. Felix groaned, hands coming up to cling to Malcolm's head as the older man suckled a mark onto his neck, biting just a bit hard than usual to make sure the bruise would appear.

A hand in Felix's hair, Malcolm pulled him back so he could look Felix in the eye, desire and dominance reflected cleanly in his stunning eyes, "See you tonight," He whispered huskily, pressing a quick kiss to Felix's lips before letting the boy out.

Watching Malcolm drive away, Felix unconsciously rubbed at his neck, trying to erase Malcolm's intentional mark before seeing Peter. He pulled his hood on, shivering a bit as he made his way inside. As he entered, he immediately caught Peter at the bar sitting in his usual spot, sipping an apple martini. He wanted to call out to him but stopped himself, instead approaching him quietly and nudging him on the shoulder.

"Felix," Peter sighed, looking too happy. He'd never seen a look like that on Peter before, "You really came."

Felix shrugged lazily, taking the stool beside him and fiddling around with his phone. Back then, it was only Peter who ever called him. Now it was Malcolm's number that filled his call history. He sighed weakly, waving the new bartender over and ordering a beer.

"How's school?" Felix murmured, sipping at the rising foam in his bottle.

"Good," Peter said, toying with the apple slice on the glass, "Did you apply for Trade School?"

Felix looked up briefly, brows knitted together in surprised. He honestly didn't expect Peter to remember. He shook his head, hands clenching around the bottle, "Malcolm says I don't need it. He's teaching me how to cook instead."

Peter let out an awkward little chuckle, "He never taught me how to cook."

It felt wrong for the air to be so tense between the two. At some time in their lives, Peter and Felix could only feel safe in each other's presence but now, it felt like the smallest disturbance would break them apart.

"If you don't mind me asking," Felix mumbled, "What happened to the wedding?"

Peter knew that Felix was aware, his father must've been bragging for days. He just wanted confirmation from Peter's mouth, "Wendy and I never got back together. She still hates me."

Felix laughed silently, covering the smile on his face with a sip of beer, "What did you say?"

"I told her I loved you."

Stiffening, Felix nearly cracked the glass bottle in his hand. He wouldn't look at Peter, keeping his eyes focused on at the stain on the back counter.

"I still do," Peter whispered too quietly. He cleared his throat loudly, hoping that Felix hadn’t caught the last remark, "It wouldn't have worked out between me and her anyway. But, you know me, I love theatrics."

Shaking off Peter's previous statement, Felix gave him an absent smile.

Cautiously, Peter reached forward and pulled down Felix's hood, desperate to see Felix again unshrouded by the darkness. He twitched when his eyes fell upon the hickey on his neck, its color and shape fresh. It made him furious that his father was touching Felix. Noticing the apprehension, Felix quickly pulled his hood back on.

"Don't do that," Felix murmured.

Peter wanted to apologize, tell Felix he meant no harm, but the outrage that Malcolm had his hands all over Felix's body reawakened and sent his thoughts spiraling down a void. He bit down on his lip, eyes narrowing as he spoke, "He's a bad person."

" _Peter…_ "

"Look at what he did just because you were going out without him," Peter said sternly, "If you keep sticking around him, he'll hurt you too."

Felix shut his eyes, willing himself not to listen to Peter, the careful peace in his heart disturbed.

"I know you want to go to trade school and get a real job. You don't want to live off of someone else for your entire life," Peter kept going, everything pouring out, "And he's stopping you."

"You did the same thing," Felix snapped, not looking up but clearly angry.

" _I know_ ," Peter mumbled, "And that's exactly why you can't trust my father."

Peter could see it, could see the doubt in Felix's eyes, clarity hidden under lustful smog inflicted upon him by Malcolm. Felix wanted to do so much and Peter held him back. When he rejected Peter, it felt like the first correct thing Felix had ever done and now, he was right back where he started with _Malcolm_.

Felix shut his eyes tightly, hands balled up into fists, "You just can't let me be happy, can you?" He glared at him but Peter could sense no fire

" _Are you happy-_ "

"Stupid Felix never makes the right decisions, always picks the wrong person. If only _Peter Pan_ was here to make all the right choices for him."

"I didn't mean it like that," Peter snapped.

"Then how did you mean it?" Felix shouted, "Malcolm loves me and he's not afraid of showing that off," He slid off the stool, leaving his beer on the table as he made his way out.

Scrambling after him desperate to fix this single moment, Peter ran after him, catching him on the street and nearly slapping his phone to the ground when he attempted to call Malcolm, "Wait," Felix ignored him, bundling himself up in his jacket and walking faster, "Wait!" He grabbed onto the back of Felix's jacket, yanking him back with all his strength, "Damn it, wait!"

"Let go of me!" Felix barked, twisting out of Peter's grasp, "Isn't this enough? Whatever, you're right. Malcolm wasn't happy when I went out without him. I didn't tell him I was seeing you because I knew he'd flip," He huffed as he turned back around, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "This was a _mistake_."

"I don't think it was," Peter mumbled, the chilly weather cooling his temper, "I really wanted to see you."

Felix couldn't reciprocate the sentiment. With Peter, everything he tried to put behind him came rushing back. _Fourteen years_ leading up to heartache, abandonment, everything Felix once thought he could stop fearing. He thought he could salvage something from this meeting, a good memory or a pleasant talk that would put the world back as it was, Peter and Felix _together again_. Felix was a fool to think it would be that simple. He wouldn't be able to live with himself to be betrayed by Peter again.

"Goodbye," Felix whispered, walking away as snow began to fall.

He couldn't hear Peter's footsteps behind him and he thought Peter had given up. He quelled the part of him that hoped Peter could come running after him, clutching him in his arms, wailing for forgiveness. _How fool-_

His breath was knocked out of him as Peter rammed into him from behind, arms bracing his head and back from the impact, turning him around in the air before both of them collapsed into the cold pavement. Felix ended up on his back, breath still knocked out of him and unable to recuperate due to _Peter_ laying on his stomach, arms coiled tightly around him.

"What are you-" Felix gasped as Peter looked him in the eyes, a softness and sadness to his face that made him look so _vulnerable_ , so unlike the Peter he always imagined. Felix slackened at the look, not fighting as Peter released the back of his head to cup his face, "Peter?"

"Shh," Peter lowered himself onto Felix, shutting his eyes and pressing a kiss on his mouth. Peter felt it the moment his lips came in contact with Felix's for the first time, _a spark,_ warmth and happiness like a pulse between them. He knew Felix never wanted to see him again, that this may be the last time they'd ever meet, so Peter had to go for broke. He had to _try_ or he'd never forgive himself if Felix walked out of his life. Peter pulled back, staring into Felix's eyes, hoping that Felix felt the same spark that he did.

Felix shut his eyes. He turned away.

"I should go," Peter whispered, climbing off Felix and helping him up.

Felix didn't say a word, turning away and walking off. Peter couldn't stop himself from watching him, swallowing back the dryness in his throat when Felix took out his phone and called for Malcolm.

 

"That was a quick party," Malcolm remarked, unlocking the door and letting both of them in, "All the better. More time to spend with you," He snickered, kicking off his shoes, "Felix? You seem a bit out of it."

Of course he did. He could still feel Peter on his lips. _Their first real kiss_. Since high school when he started losing control of his hormones, Felix always dreamed of Peter pressed up against him, lips against his own, staring at him like the was the only thing that mattered. If he went back in time and told himself that he'd grow to hate Peter, that he'd feel like a fool for ever falling for him, his old self would've promptly punched him in the face. But it happened and that kiss should've meant nothing.

Felix shuddered a bit as he walked up the stairs, the tiniest _spark_ that Felix thought he'd smothered with Malcolm's presence growing once more. Malcolm's hand on his shoulder shook him out of his thoughts. He looked to the older man, breath steadying, "What is it?"

"You looked a bit shaky," Malcolm murmured, "Are you okay?"

Felix nodded quickly, half-smile on his face as he turned into their room, "I'm fine," He whispered, taking hold of Malcolm's leather jacket and pulling him close, washing away the feel of Peter's lips with Malcolm's.

Chuckling, always overjoyed when Felix initiated, Malcolm quickly took off Felix's jacket, tossing it aside and rolling his sweater off his body while keeping their lips in contact as much as possible. He walked Felix backwards into the room, devouring his lips as he removed his own jacket.

Trying to guide himself over to the bed, Felix stumbled over his suitcase, eyes snapping down to the floor and noticing that his suitcase was _empty_. He collapsed on the bed before he could inquire, Malcolm taking off his shirt before climbing over him and nibbling at his neck.

"You unpacked my stuff," Felix choked out, trying to push Malcolm back. The older man refused to relent, grabbing onto Felix's shoulders roughly and biting into his neck. He yanked off the feathers in Felix's hair, dropping the tassels aside as he rolled up Felix's shirt, "Malcolm!" With all his strength, he shoved the man onto the bed beside him, "I told you not to go through my stuff."

Malcolm grumbled, taking a fistful of Felix's shirt bunched up around his chest and pulling it up at a strange angle, tangling it around his elbows and securing it with a knot. Panicked, Felix wrestled with the fabric binding his arms, "I wasn't going through your stuff. It's all in the closet," Malcolm said, sitting on Felix's hips and kissing sweetly at his chest, "You were gone for so long. I had nothing else to do."

Felix groaned as Malcolm moved lower, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them off his hips. He knew this was coming. Malcolm always demanded sex at the end of a subpar day. Felix had to convince himself he wanted this, that Malcolm would make him forget about everything Peter brought back, all the pain, the humiliation, _the affection._

"You've had a bad day, hm?" Malcolm sighed, creeping up his body as he removed the last of Felix's clothing, untying his arms as well, "Papa knows how to make it all better."

His hands groping all over Felix's form, touching him where Peter never tried, Felix threw his head back and gasped at the building pressure, Malcolm's lips meeting his once more, devouring them. Yet, in the back of Felix's mind, he couldn't stop himself from noting that Peter's lips were softer.

 

_Felix giggled away as he folded the napkin carefully. A new girl came to the orphanage today which meant in the brief moment before she learned who everyone was, Felix had a friend. In that hour, she showed Felix how to fold a bird out of paper, giving him one of her own folded from a pastel green, floral square. Felix promptly took it apart so he could learn how to fold his own._

_He was overly excited when the bird came into existence, sitting on his palm slightly lopsided from his inexperience. Peter always talked about flying. He'd love it._

_"Psst, Felix!" Malcolm called from the window. The boy scampered over, curious why Peter wasn't the one at his window calling for him, "Climb down and we can go play," Malcolm whispered loudly, waving at Felix from the grass._

_Felix surveyed the area around him. It was far too early which meant Peter was probably at preschool. He looked back at Malcolm, confused, "Where's Peter?"_

_"Peter will join us later. Come on, it'll be fun. I'm going to bring you to the ice cream store," Malcolm replied with a chortle, "I'll help you climb down."_

_Seeing no flaw in Malcolm's logic, Felix slowly climbed out the window, following the drains as Peter had. Before his feet could touch the ground, Malcolm plucked him off the drains and held him against his shoulder, patting his back lovingly._

_"I got you," Malcolm murmured into his hair, patting him on the back as he carried the boy out, jittering with happiness. He snuck in through the backdoor unlike Peter who'd climb over the fence. As soon as he reached his car, he opened the front door and seated Felix shotgun._

_Felix never sat in the front before. He usually sat in the back curled up against Peter because he skipped naptime. The front felt too open, too exposed, like everyone could look in through the windows and see the scrawny brat who snuck out from the orphanage, "Um," Felix mumbled as Malcolm slid into the driver's seat, "I sit in the back."_

_"Nonsense," Malcolm replied, scrubbing a hand through Felix's hair affectionately, "You're with me now. You get to sit in the front like a grown-up," He noted the slight unhappiness on Felix's face, "It'll be fun. I promise. We'll get ice cream and I'll bring you to the toy store, whatever you want," His hand traveled down Felix's face, caressing under his chin with just a finger, "Let's see a smile!"_

_Ice cream, toy store, everything seemed okay. Malcolm wouldn't lie to him; it probably was more fun sitting in the front. Believing the older man, Felix flashed a smile, clapping eagerly as Malcolm returned to the wheel and drove away from the orphanage._

_"Hey… Felix!" Malcolm called from the window._

_"Hello Malcolm," Mother Superior responded, stepping over to the window glaring down at him while Felix shuffled up beside her, "Are you the one who's been taking Felix away?"_

_"No, no, he's friends with my son. I'm just coming over to pick him up," While it was certainly true that Peter usually snuck him out, Malcolm had been doing it solo for quite a while. Felix figured he would've gotten in trouble if he didn't mention Peter, "Right Felix?"_

_Felix looked up to Mother Superior and nodded. Both of them knew Felix had no friends in the orphanage, all of them turned away by his miserable origins. Even Mother Superior would've felt awful if she tore away Felix's only friend._

_She sighed heavily, caught between moral obligations, "I'd prefer if you would sign him out at the front desk. I'll see you there and then you can take him out," She explained, shaking her head as Malcolm eagerly headed over to the front. He hadn't hurt him so far and Felix always came back happy so she figured she could at least trust him. Before Felix could leave, she pulled him close and knelt to the ground, "Felix. If that man ever hurts you or touches you in a way that you don't like, you have to tell me right away."_

_At the time, Felix had no idea what she was talking about, couldn't imagine Malcolm 'touching him' in a bad way. He nodded dumbly and ran off with the scoundrel, never realizing what would transpire between them._

 

Humming as he toweled his hair dry, Felix balled up his clothes and tossed them into the laundry hamper. In the middle of contemplating if he should take out the trash, Felix immediately noted something crudely stuffed into the trash can beside him. Reaching into the plastic bin, Felix withdrew John's teddy bear.

Sighing heavily, Felix dusted the doll off and tucked it away in the closet. He knew Malcolm had gone through his stuff and hoped he hadn't thrown anything else out.

"What've you got there?" Malcolm asked, somehow materializing in the closet with him.

Felix nearly yelped, turning back to Malcolm. The older man didn't look upset but he didn't look happy either. Felix _hated_ this expression since he had no idea how to approach it, "It's nothing."

Malcolm folded his arms, "Why do you want to keep that?"

Twitching, Felix unconsciously nodded back at the teddy bear hidden under a stack of clothing, "It was a present," He backed away when Malcolm approached, reaching into his clothes. Felix grabbed his arm, shoving him back gently, "It's just a doll."

"From John Darling," Malcolm tacked on, eyes hardened with spite.

"And still a doll," Felix snapped, twisting away when Malcolm laid his hands on his hips, "You said you wouldn't get jealous anymore."

Malcolm grumbled at the remark, still discontent with Felix's refusal to throw out the bear. He took a deep breath and settled with a neutral look on his face, "Fine. Keep the bear," He hadn't moved though, still blocking Felix from exiting the closet. He reached out to take Felix's hips again, humming appreciatively when he didn't pull away.

Felix chuckled nervously when Malcolm closed in, once again nipping at the bite on his neck, fingers dancing over the waistband of his pajama bottoms, "Didn't we… just last night?" He groaned as Malcolm lapped at his neck, seemingly _devouring_ Felix's ear as his hands slid down his pants, groping his ass obscenely. Felix threw his head back, letting Malcolm's addictive touch hypnotize him.

" _Felix_ ," Malcolm sighed, breathy and seductive as he lapped at his neck again, "Who were you out with last night?"

All the pleasure in the world couldn't prepare Felix for that. He stiffened in Malcolm's grasp and realized it gave him away. His eyes snapped open, staring into tranquil fury that threatened to rip him apart. Felix shook his head, unable to say the name and hoping for Malcolm to back off. He knew what Malcolm wanted to hear: _It wasn't John._ But if he confirmed that, then Malcolm would know exactly who he was with and it'd wreck him even more. Felix squirmed in Malcolm's grasp, pressed up to the back of the closet as Malcolm pulled off his pants and proceeded to touch every single spot of flesh he could see.

"Stop…" Felix murmured, smothered by Malcolm, suffocated by him as he kissed and pulled and tore him down. In another situation, Felix may have enjoyed this, always appreciating Malcolm's blatant affection.

"Who was it?"

Felix moaned as Malcolm rocked into his bare hips, palming him to hardness with extra friction from the front of his pants. He felt hands under his thighs, pulling them apart and seating him onto the back shelf, thighs now framing Malcolm's hips. The more Malcolm continued, the more he wanted him to stop.

Felix cried out as Malcolm ground his hips against him, compressing him against the wall with his entire body. His _mouth_ latched onto Felix's throat, making the mark darker and darker, _sparking_ something in Felix. He squirmed a bit as he bucked against Malcolm's hips, trying to make the best of this but he couldn't shake the awful feeling of déjà vu.

Pleasure became nothing but searing heat and Felix wanted to stop, "Stop," He whispered, "Stop!" He shouted again when Malcolm kept going, expression slackened with ecstasy but still firm. He couldn't get away, trapped in the closet with Malcolm holding him tight. He grabbed onto Malcolm's hair in a hysterical fit, yelping when Malcolm did the same to get better access to his neck.

Panicking as Malcolm quickened his pace, grinding against him hard and harder, Felix gripped onto Malcolm's shoulders and cried out the first thing that came to his mind, " _Papa, stop_."

Somehow, those simple words resonated with Malcolm. At the involuntary cry, Malcolm _froze_ like the declaration gave him pain. Felix was too afraid to open his eyes when Malcolm's hands stopped, when everything stopped, and he could feel the scoundrel's breath on his mouth. Stormy eyes that mimicked Peter's perfectly were biting into him and memorizing every moment of his shame.

Malcolm's scouring hands finally found themselves on his shoulders, holding the boy in place as he pulled back. He did nothing else, merely staring at Felix till the boy finally reopened his eyes, trembling and frightful under Malcolm's furious glare. Even now, Felix couldn't understand why Malcolm was so angry over a simple doll and a platonic outing.

Disrupting his thoughts, Malcolm leaned in and pecked Felix's lips. He smiled softly as he pulled away, leaving the closet and heading down the stairs. Felix didn't know he had been holding his breath. He slumped against the back of the closet, pulling up his pants and taking a stray shirt from his shelf. He reached into his bundle of clothing, withdrawing the bear and considering if he should throw it away. It was what Malcolm would've wanted.

_No matter what you tell me, I'll always be on your side. I promise._

Felix twitched at that kind voice. He wondered if John still kept his promise or if he gave up just like Michael. He stuffed the bear under a different pile of clothes, bundling it up so it would look like any heap of laundry, before following Malcolm down the stairs.

After breakfast, Malcolm steered Felix into the living room, stretching out over the couch and turning on the TV, "So, I'm thinking we finish Breaking Bad today since we only have one season left. We can get some takeout. Maybe go to Neverland at night?"

Felix always wondered how Malcolm could survive like this without a job. Malcolm loved this worthless, self-indulgent life, and was more than willing to spend his days vegetating on the couch with Felix to warm him. He sat on the other side of the couch instead of curling up beside the older man as he usually did.

"Can we do something else?" Felix said, fiddling with the fabric of his pajama bottoms.

Malcolm tilted his head, "What do you mean?"

"We've been doing this every day," Felix reminded, gesturing to the Netflix interface on the screen, "Don't you want to do anything else?"

Malcolm frowned at Felix, crawling up the couch to press his torso against him, "We can cook?" Felix's expression soured at the suggestion. Malcolm knew that Felix was an awful cook and all of his lessons amounted to nothing. He couldn't erase nineteen years of solitude and cheap food. Malcolm huffed at Felix's silence, wrapping his arms around his waist, "Then what do you want to do?"

Go shopping? A haircut? Watch a movie in a theatre? Eat at a nice restaurant?

"I don't know," The response came out automatically.

Malcolm brushed Felix's cheek with a finger, "Are you angry at me?"

Felix shook his head, turning to Malcolm and softening his expression, "No, never," He sighed as Malcolm pulled him close by his waist, pressing their bodies together softly. He trailed kisses up Felix's neck, lapping at his lips before pulling away, "I'm not angry at you," Felix reassured, eyes slipping closed as Malcolm ghosted over his mouth.

"You seem stressed," Malcolm said, so used to Felix's constant docility, an innate reaction conditioned in him by _Peter_ , "Let me help."

He rolled Felix onto his back, hands moistened by oil as he massaged Felix's back. His hypnotic touch reminded Felix of their very first time, body molded and softened by Malcolm's skillful hands before his virginity was taken away. He gasped as Malcolm produced an ice cube from his drink and rolled it down Felix's back, the icy touch refreshing and surprisingly soothing.

Working out every knot that came with the rough sex, kneading at his flesh until it was pliant in his hands, lips joining his hands as they searched for weak spots and exploited them. Felix groaned and twisted under his hands, legs kicking up from behind Malcolm at the sheer pleasure coming from his massage. Even when Malcolm groped him between touches, fingernails ghosting over and leaving gentle scratches all along his sides and hips, Felix was too lost in the sensations and found himself _enjoying_ the invasive touch.

" _Malcolm_ ," Felix moaned, eyes shut as Malcolm continued kneading his shoulders.

Malcolm snickered at how the boy melted in his hands. He leaned in, pecking at his spine before laying down on top of Felix, crushing his body into the couch. He hummed into Felix's ear, overjoyed, and whispered, "I love you," He smiled wider when Felix whispered a quick 'I love you too', "Felix," He whispered again, "Does this feel good?"

Felix hummed, "Feels great."

"You're not angry anymore?"

"No."

"Then we can watch Breaking Bad?"

"Okay."

Malcolm paused, humming before leaning in close and whispering, "So, who were you out with last night?"

Catching the sudden question, Felix sighed heavily, almost irritated till he twisted around to look at Malcolm. If his lover was so worried, perhaps he should just tell him the truth. Felix came back, after all; he choose Malcolm, "I was out with Peter."

"Why?"

Felix squirmed out from under Malcolm's hips, sitting against the armrest of the couch. He shrugged lazily, believing that if he acted more nonchalant, Malcolm would back off, "He wanted to talk."

"What did he talk about?"

" _Nothing_ ," Felix muttered. He swallowed his answer at Malcolm's insistent look, "He wanted to see me," Malcolm's eyes were glued to Felix's lips, watching them with unblinking suspicion. When Felix blushed, Malcolm knew exactly what had happened, "He kissed me. I didn't kiss him!" Felix shouted, desperate to save face in front of this deceptively perceptive man. Even though Felix was sure his placation didn't work, Malcolm backed off and reclined on his side of the couch, slouching in a disgruntled manner, "I don't know why I agreed."

"You thought you could fix things with him," Malcolm snapped, selecting an episode of Breaking Bad on Netflix, "Then you could string both of us along without the other knowing, hm? That's why you didn't want me to come along."

Felix shuddered at his accusation, "No!" He crawled over on the couch when Malcolm refused to look at him, "I told you I was out with him. I wasn't keeping a secret," Malcolm didn't react and it only made Felix panic, "I-I just didn't want him to start a fight with you and I knew he would if you came along. And-And," Felix shuddered when Malcolm gazed at him, eyes cold and steely, "I don't love Peter anymore. I-I love you!"

A hand nudged Felix's chin, coaxing it forward before culling him in. One hand weaving through his hair as he kissed him lightly, " _I love you too_ ," Malcolm whispered, guiding Felix against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Felix whispered, curling up against him, apologizing for _nothing at all_.

"I forgive you," Malcolm said with a bright smile, wrapping both of them up in a fleece blanket before starting turning back to his television, "Say, why don't we try something out? You wanted to do something new, right?"

 

"Son of a bitch," Peter growled, nearly hurling his phone across the room when he saw his latest message from Felix's phone: A crudely taken photo of Felix sucking Malcolm's cock no doubt taken by Malcolm himself while Felix was distracted. Felix must've told him where he was last night and Malcolm was having his petty revenge.

He collapsed onto his bed, far too distracted to start studying. He could still feel Felix against him, could feel his warmth even through the thick layers of his jacket. He rolled onto the side, dropping his phone next to his alarm and picking up the notice he had taken from his door. His rent was due but Peter couldn't pay it off. He was already using his student loan to pay off his tuition and he just didn't have enough to eat, pay off his bills, and cover rent at the same time. Peter needed a job but he _hated_ working, an unfortunate side-effect of being Malcolm's son.

Only now did Peter realize how much he depended on Wendy. She took care of his bills, his rent, his sustenance, and now that she was gone, Peter was on the verge of debt. He could try grovelling to her, falling to his knees and begging her to take him back. He knew she wouldn't fall for it. Felix didn't and she sure as hell wouldn't. He'd already seen her with another boy, chocolate-dark, curly hair and a round face, the son of the richest man in town, someone who would never need her fortune. Wendy had clarity now and she saw Peter for exactly what he was.

In his self-loathing, misery, and incoming troubles, all Peter could think about was how badly he wanted to be with Felix right now, how the boy's presence always gave him comfort in the worst situations. Peter could always _drop out_. It wasn't like he needed his education anymore without Wendy. He gritted his teeth, _No_ , he would _not_ end up like his father.

 _His father…_ He looked to his phone, realizing that he still had one more person left.

 

"Welcome to Any Given Sundae, how may I-" Ingrid paused as Peter stepped into the ice cream store, "Peter."

Peter stepped in confidently, head held high despite his current situation, "Been a while, hasn't it?" He greeted, "I figured you'd be closed for the winter. Never thought ice cream would be popular in the cold."

"Business is slow," Ingrid replied, wiping up her hands and coming around the counter, "Is there something I can help you with?"

Peter frowned, head hanging as he clenched his fists nervously, "I'm looking for my mother."

Ingrid's expression softened, seeing a sadness to Peter she had never seen before, "Zelena's out of town right now. She's working abroad," Peter sighed, already making his way out, " _But_ , she asked me to look out for you if you ever need help."

An exasperated huff came from Peter, "Look out for me? Since when has she ever cared?" He glared at Ingrid, imagining Zelena in her place, "She abandoned me with _Malcolm_. She should've just abandoned me in the streets. That would've been kinder."

"She _does_ care," Ingrid exclaimed, approaching Peter, "I asked her if she wanted to take you with us. She really did want to," She paused, knowing that her words would anger Peter, "But when she looked at you, all she could see was Malcolm," It wasn't solace but it was a justification that Peter understood, "Do you need money? I can lend you some right now."

Peter couldn't look at her as he nodded. His pride was so shattered by his father that he was willing to beg his mother for money. Even if it was given willingly, Peter wasn't sure if he'd be able to stomach this in the long run. Ingrid handed him a small bundle of cash, this week's profits from what Peter could tell. He tucked it into his pocket, ready to leave but unable to move.

"Yes?" Ingrid asked, moving back around the counter to change a tub of ice cream.

"How did you do it?" Peter asked, watching as she shifted the untouched carrot sherbet to the back.

"Do what?"

Peter frowned. He hated repeating himself, "How did you take my mother away?"

Ingrid furrowed her brow, confused, "I don't understand what you mean."

"How did you get her away from Malcolm?" Peter said.

"Ah," Ingrid sighed, "Zelena knew Malcolm was wrong. Everyone did. _But she didn't have anyone else_. So she stuck by him even when he was _cruel_ to her," Peter flinched at the word _cruel_ , "If she stayed with him any longer… _I don't want to imagine what she would've done._ So I showed her she wasn't alone, that there were other people who… loved her."

"But what if she hated you so much that she wouldn't listen to you?" Peter said, desperate.

Ingrid pondered but didn't waver, "Then I'd find someone who would love her just as I do and let them make her happy," She took a scoop of mint chocolate chip and built a triple scoop cone, handing it to Peter.

Peter took the cone, his inner child already freaking out about the triple scoops. His mind was elsewhere though, trying to figure out what he could do. He wasn't in Ingrid's position. He didn't have a clean slate with Felix. Even worse, he drove all of Felix's friends away, disbanding the Lost Boys and forcing Felix to never contact them.

Could Peter do it? Could he let someone else love Felix just to get him away from Malcolm? He'd get nothing out of it except for a headache from his father and _Felix's happiness_. That enough was all Peter needed to convince himself.

Noticing the light returning to his eyes, Ingrid smiled, "You look like your mother when you're happy."

Peter snickered rudely, smirking as his brow quirked, "Don't say that," He said, backing out of the store with ice cream in hand.

Rushing down the street, nearly slipping over a patch of ice, Peter finished his ice cream and pushed the doors of the bank open and made his way to the back, ignoring the protesting secretary who leapt to her feet and ran after him, "Excuse me, you can't go there!"

"This is important," Peter declared, turning around for just a second and meeting face-to-face with Michael Darling, "Ugh, you again."

"Oh hell no," Michael declared, grabbing Peter by the arm and pulling him back, "Security, get this asshole out of here!"

Peter groaned, slapping Michael's hand back, "I'm not here for Wendy. I'm here to see John."

"That's _even_ worse," Michael hissed, waving the guards over as he backed off.

Struggling against the security guards, Peter whipped his head to John's office and shouted, "Felix is in danger!"

Immediately, John's door opened. The oldest Darling sibling stepping down the hall with a cold look on his face. Peter half expected John to call off the security guards but was promptly punched in the face instead. Even Michael looked disturbed by his brother's sudden violence.

"John, you okay?" Michael asked.

John sighed heavily, straightening out his suit and stepping back, "Never been better," He took Peter by the collar and dragged him towards the door, "Heading out for lunch. Direct all my calls to Michael."

"Wha…hey!" Michael shouted, dumbfounded as his brother dragged Peter out for lunch.

 

"I thought for sure this place would be beneath your tastes," Peter commented, holding a cold can of Coke on his face to treat the bruise as the waitress dropped off a burrito for him and a nacho salad for John.

John huffed, hardened to Peter's presence, "And let people see me with you?"

"A bad boy reputation could help you out," Peter commented.

A disgusted groan slipped from John's mouth, "Shut up," He said, taking a forkful of salad into his mouth, "I'm only talking to you because of Felix. _Start talking_."

Peter sighed, lazily eating the fries beside his burrito, "He's in love with my father."

"I know that much," John growled, unable to let go of the moment in the supermarket when Malcolm flaunted Felix in front of him, "If he loves him, then let them be. As long as Felix is happy."

"But he isn't happy," Peter replied, "He can't be happy."

"Because he's not with you?" John snapped.

Peter bit down on his lip, John's subtly snappish attitude grinding on his nerves, "Because its my _father_. He treated my mother like shit but she had no one else so she stuck with him. And now, the same thing's going to happen to Felix."

His angry façade falling apart, John immediately softened to his usual self, "What do you want me to do about it?" He said, "He loves you. Just tell him that you love him."

" _I did_ ," Peter grumbled. Watching John's brows lift in surprise, "He hates me. He doesn't care."

John was quiet and Peter wondered if he had said too much, "I'm sure he does."

"Don't patronize me," Peter hissed, "That's not why I needed to talk to you. I need you to win Felix back."

John narrowed his eyes, confused, "Win him back?"

Peter was almost scared to continue. For years, he hated John Darling, hated how easy he made it look to be mature and responsible. Most of all, he hated that he somehow wormed his way into Felix's life, that his best friend gave even just the tiniest fraction of attention to someone other than himself. But now, with nothing else left, this was Peter's only chance to save Felix.

Would he be able to live with himself if he saw Felix and John together after all this? Peter didn't let himself think about it.

"You love him, don't you?" Peter said monotonously. John's mouth snapped shut and a blush immediately crept on his face, "And you know Malcolm is bad for him. So why not save him from my father and make him happy?" John was clearly interested but conflicted, "I'll teach you everything you need to know: What Felix likes, what he thinks is attractive, how to get his attention. All you have to do is show Felix that my father isn't the only person he has and he'll run into your arms in seconds."

"No," John shook his head, "This is wrong. We're playing Felix. I don't like that."

"I lived with that man for long enough. I've seen what he does to women, how he drove off my mother. He was _cruel_ to her and exploited how she had no one else in her life. And if you don't believe me, ask the ice cream lady because she was the one who saved her from him. You're not playing Felix. You're _saving_ him."

Peter's mouth twitched when John wouldn't buy his generosity, growling in his throat as he withdrew his phone, "I'm not doing this out of revenge. I'm not trying to punish Felix for leaving me. I'm trying to get him away from _this_ ," He handed his phone to John, scouring the restaurant to make sure no one was spying on them.

John nearly threw up, the blurry image of Felix sucking on Malcolm's cock displayed in public for all to see. He hurled Peter's phone back at him, "Why do you have that?"

"My father sent it to me," Peter said, "He did it to piss me off. You want that to happen to Felix everyday?"

"No. God no," John huffed, rubbing at the creases on his forehead. He pushed his nacho salad aside, losing all of his appetite. Something still rubbed John the wrong way, however, and he had to ask, "What's in it for you?"

Peter was never generous, not even for Wendy, unless there was some ulterior motive, "I know it's hard to believe," Peter said, eyes down, "But there's really nothing in it for me at all."

John was quiet, seeing the kindness that once seduced Wendy on Peter's face except _sincere_ , "You're right. I don't believe you," He leaned forward on the table, rubbing at his forehead trying to erase that awful image from his mind, "But I want to save Felix. _I'm in_."

"Take the rest of the day off," Peter said, "We need to start as soon as possible."

 

"Why are you crying?" Peter snapped, watching as John pawed at his eyes.

"Shut up, I've never tried contacts before," John replied, eyes stinging so harshly that he couldn't even keep them open, "Can't I keep the glasses?"

" _No_ , they're too fancy," Peter said, crossing his legs, "Felix gets intimidated by anyone rich or classy. He thinks he's not worth their time. I'd see it enough times when he hung around Wendy's friends."

Momentarily, John forced his tears to stop and glared at Peter, "Then why did you keep bringing him over for family dinners?"

Peter flinched at the remark, trying his best not to glare back and ruin their already delicate alliance, "Do you want to save Felix or not?"

Huffing, John blinked a few more times before the contacts were finally manageable. He examined himself in the mirror, feeling substantially less constricted in a pair of jeans and a simple cardigan as opposed to his usual waistcoat. He tussled his hair a bit, breaking apart his perfectly sculpted bangs for a comfortable, dishevelled look, "This is what Felix likes?"

"Of course," Peter replied, "On your _date_ with Felix, did you drag him around in a sweater and jeans while you were all dressed up?"

"No. I bought him a tailor-made suit," John said arrogantly, knowing that he one-upped Peter on that angle, "He liked it."

Peter rolled his eyes, stepping around John, "Be confident around him. I'm sure he finds your dorky, bashful demeanor adorable but that's not what Felix _loves_."

It was John's turn to roll his eyes, "You want me to act like you? Because that worked perfectly the first time, didn't it?"

Peter wanted to lash out and tell John to piss right off, that he could do this without him. He bit down on his tongue, remembering their goal and what would happen if they failed, "Felix doesn't like to make decisions because he thinks they're always wrong… because I made him think that."

Every day, every playtime, Peter never let Felix make any choices, berating him, baiting him, till one day, Felix just stopped making decisions and followed Peter's orders without question. He didn't question why he wasn't allowed to talk with the Lost Boys even though they were angry with Peter. He didn't wonder why he needed a car if he lived in the heart of the city. Peter instilled this upon him and he never even considered that someone else would take advantage of this.

"Never judge him, alright? When he makes his own decisions, don't make him think he was wrong. He _deserves_ to know his choices are correct."

"Arsehole," John whispered, shaking his head.

Peter saved and destroyed Felix.

"Come on," Peter said, ending his train of thought, "It's almost five," He picked up his own jacket, handing John a cheaper fleece one they had picked up on their way here, "You know what to say?" John gave him a quick nod before walking out, eager to speak with Felix again.

The two arrived at Granny's but Peter stayed out of sight, sitting in the Any Given Sundae and watching the front of Granny's through the front window, "Do you hear me?" He spoke into his phone.

John adjusted his Bluetooth headset, "Hear you," He whispered, sitting in a booth with a cup of coffee in hand, "You sure Felix will be here?"

"Positive," Peter replied, "My father's a creature of habit. He always sticks to one routine," He paused, noticing Felix's car pulling up on the curb, "There he is. Get ready. It has to look like a completely casual-"

"…Peter?" John said, wondering why Peter cut himself off, "What is it?"

" _Why_ …" Peter whispered, watching as Malcolm exited the car with him, "Why's my father with him?"

" _What!?_ " John nearly shouted, peeking out from his booth to see two figures closing in, "What do I do about him?" John knew he'd start a fight with Malcolm and he knew that'd only make things _worse_.

Peter couldn't let Malcolm see John. He'd twist everything John said, make him look like another antagonist in Felix's empty life. He nearly told John to retreat till he eyed Ingrid by the counter, shaking her head with a stern look. She'd dealt with Malcolm before and she _succeeded_. Peter swallowed, reading her thoughts through her expression, "Just do as I say and you'll be fine. But most importantly, make Felix feel wanted."

John took a deep breath, watching Felix approach the counter with Malcolm following closely. He stood from the booth, casually walking over, "Felix!" He exclaimed, "It's been so-" He froze when Felix turned around, eyes locked onto the awful scar creeping along Felix's face, "What…"

Unconsciously, Felix shied away, allowing Malcolm to take over, "Stop staring at his injury," Malcolm snapped, "You're making him uncomfortable."

John cleared his throat, knowing that Felix's mutilation must've been a sore spot, "I meant the feathers. They're lovely," He gave Felix a small smile as he met his eyes once more, "I don't care about the scar. You'll always be beautiful to me," _Be assertive_ , that was what Peter had told him.

Peter promptly slapped a hand over his face. It was too late now. John's cheesiness was already bleeding through.

To Peter's surprise, Felix _laughed_. A smile cracked across Felix's face, wide, glowing, and unlike anything Malcolm had seen recently. He seethed inwardly at the effect John had on Felix and figured that this was why Peter hated John Darling so much, "Come on Felix, we're just picking up dinner."

"It's not ready yet," Granny announced, polishing a glass while glaring at Malcolm.

Not even bothering to acknowledge her, Malcolm wrapped his arms around Felix's waist and pulled him close, resting his head on his shoulder, "Haven't seen you in a while. Been busy with work? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Still _single_?"

John smiled at Malcolm, channeling Peter as he spoke, "Certainly, I don't just date anyone," He couldn't let himself get distracted by Malcolm. He was here for _Felix_ and he needed to concentrate, "How has everything been?"

"Good," Felix said quietly, a bit distracted by John's casual style. He always expected nothing less than perfection for John's appearance, "Why are you dressed like that?"

John swept a hand through his hair, smirking, "Oh, Michael just says I need to loosen up more. So, here I am, dressed like this."

"Have you loosened up?" Felix asked, again quietly.

Peter whispered an innuendo into his headset. John cleared his throat and fought the blush as he said, "I could if you helped me."

" _Idiot, that's not what I said. That's too tame._ "

John cleared his throat loudly, leaning on the counter with one arm trying to ignore Malcolm still flush against Felix's back, "Too much?" He asked shyly, pleased when Felix smiled back at him once more.

"We're leaving," Malcolm growled, dragging Felix away from the counter and completely ignoring his food.

"Why don't you eat here?" John declared, loud enough for Granny and Ruby to hear from the kitchen, "I haven't talked with you in so long. _Please_ , Felix?"

"He's not interested," Malcolm replied.

"He was talking to Felix, _not you_ ," Granny interrupted, stepping by with their food on plates, "Let the boys talk."

At Granny's prompt, John extended a hand to Felix, beckoning him over, "Let's eat?"

Felix followed John to a booth, sliding in across from John only to have Malcolm slide if shortly after and push him against the wall. John tried his best to make small talk as Felix ate, smiling and nodding to Malcolm who would consistently interrupt with a snide remark. He tried his damndest not to let Malcolm's constant, shameless groping of Felix's thigh and hips not distract him from his speech.

"There's… a new slasher movie out," Felix said as he finished his side of potatoes, "It reminded me of you."

John chuckled, leaning forward on one arm, "I hope in a good way."

"I always thought you were a romantic movie kind of guy," Felix said.

"All the Darling siblings have something dark and mysterious about them," John said, purposely lifting one brow as he spoke, "Michael has a sex dungeon," Felix snorted at the comment, snickering lightly before John's deadpan look stopped him, "But seriously, he actually does."

Felix laughed again when John's lips turned up with a smile. John noticed how Felix would lean towards Malcolm, squirming against him when he was happy. No doubt Felix was trying to coax some happy reaction out of Malcolm who had sat there in quiet rage for the entire time.

" _Ask him about Trade School_."

Trade School? John thought over a sip of coffee on how he could slip that into a casual conversation, "So, Michael told me a while ago that you were interested in Trade School. Have you tried applying?" Felix's smile fell but he was still in a relatively good mood. John took that as a prompt to keep going, "I know someone who can help you apply."

"Felix isn't applying for trade school," Malcolm declared, his irritation finally breaking through, "He doesn't need it. I'll take care of him."

"It's still something good to have," John said, "I'll get you in touch with her. Your phone number is still the same, right?"

Felix nodded dumbly, smiling just a bit when John tapped a quick message for his sake. John figured his secretary could help Felix out if he asked. He gasped when he felt a hand slip under his sweater, Malcolm successfully distracting him. He groaned lightly when Malcolm scratched his thighs lightly. Neck extending back unconsciously, Malcolm nibbled at the side of his neck in plain sight.

" _I love you_ ," Malcolm whispered, knowing that John was watching him.

Felix hummed in reply, patting Malcolm's shoulder lightly, "Bathroom," Malcolm slid out first, letting Felix walk to the back of the diner before sliding back in to stare John in the face.

"Jealous?" Malcolm said with a smirk, "I know what you're trying to do."

John swallowed, following Peter's orders carefully on his headset, "And you know I'll succeed."

Malcolm's brow twitched, "You've got some nerve, _brat_ ," He folded his arms, darkness pooling in his eyes, "Do you think a makeover will make Felix want you? Deep down, you're everything he _hates_ and you'll never change that."

His words echoed Peter's and it frightened John to know how similar father and son really were. He fought the urge to press on his Bluetooth, to make sure he caught everything Peter was whispering to him about his father, "He-He, um, I-do," It was the perfect time for his Bluetooth set to start malfunctioning. He cleared his throat loudly, trying to reset his words and recall everything Peter whispered to him in the last second, "You and I both know that it's _Peter's_ fault that he's afraid. And with Peter out of the picture, I can finally treat him properly."

"How selfish. You think you can change Felix," Malcolm said, lapping at his upper lip, "I don't want to change Felix. He's perfectly fine the way he is."

"How selfish," John echoed, "You think you can stop Felix from changing. He's finally seen Peter for the _scumbag_ he was," He faltered for a moment, noticing how Peter berated himself through John, "D-Don't you think he'd want to change? Find a new life?"

Malcolm's eyes drifted away from John's face, eyeing the Bluetooth headset carefully. Peter had somehow jammed the lights on it, making it appear off but it was clear that was not enough to fool Malcolm. His eyes fell back onto John, narrowing with suspicion as he stood up, pulled on his jacket, and exited the diner. He saw him scan the patio, huffing loudly before eyeing Any Given Sundae and approaching.

"Get out of there. He's coming over!" John whispered quickly.

" _Shit, shit, shit, shit_ ," Peter muttered, backing away from the window and rushing around the ice cream counter and diving underneath it just as Malcolm entered the store.

Ingrid huffed loudly, trying to cover up Peter's scuffling across the floor, "What do you want?"

"Is that any way to greet a customer?" Malcolm asked, approaching the counter slowly.

"If you're not here for ice cream, get out," Ingrid replied, pulling open a drawer to hide Peter and pretending to sort through the spoons. She quickly shoved Malcolm back as the older man tried to circle around the counter, " _Employees only_."

Malcolm snorted, "As if. I've seen my _wife_ back here plenty of times doing far less sanitary things than simply walking around," Peter shuddered unconsciously at the thought.

Ingrid rolled her eyes, refusing to give, "Get out before I call the sheriff for harassment."

Eyes narrowing, still trying to peer over the counter, Malcolm backed off slowly, "Just wondering if my son's been around here."

"Why would he be?" Ingrid said quietly, eyeing Malcolm sternly as the scoundrel backed out from the store. She let out a harsh breath, tapping at Peter with her foot, "He's gone."

In the diner, John has been rapidly tapping his headset, checking if Peter was still there or if the headset had malfunctioned again, "You there?" He whispered, dropping his hand quickly as Felix returned to the booth, "Felix!"

"Where's Malcolm?" Felix asked, scanning the restaurant.

"He went out for a walk," John replied, "I guess it's just you and me then."

Eyes away, Felix whispered, "Yeah," He scratched at a crack in his mug, unable to meet John's eyes, "You look good without your glasses."

"Thank you," John replied, watching Felix's eyes flicker to him occasionally but remain glued to the floor. Testing his boundaries, John reached out to Felix, taking his hand from the table and holding it close. Felix flinched at the touch as if it hurt him but he didn't fight back, "Felix. I'm never going to break my promise," His other hand came up, encircling Felix's, "I'll always be on your side. I'll always believe you. And I'll _wait for you_ , because I love you."

Felix's mouth dropped, eyes wide and wild at John's declaration. He'd never seen John like this and it stirred his heart more than he ever had in the past, "John. I'm seeing Malcolm," He said, almost ashamed.

"I know," John replied, "But if you ever change your mind, I'll be waiting for you," He held Felix's hand tighter, eyes occasionally flickering to the door to make sure Malcolm hadn't returned, "You're not alone."

"Of course I'm not," Felix said, faltering, "I have Malcolm."

He fought against himself, controlling his need to condemn that scoundrel, "I know," He released Felix's hands slowly, already missing the warmth, "I want to see you more. If that's okay with you."

"Isn't your family angry at me?" Felix asked, waving to Malcolm as he returned to the diner.

"Wendy doesn't blame you," John commented, "And Michael's just a bit protective," He shuddered when Malcolm pulled Felix out from his seat, arms wrapping around the small of his back as he pressed an obscene, passionate kiss to his lips.

Taking a fistful of Felix's hair, he jerked the boy's head back to expose his neck, suckling once more on the bruise he had left on him, refreshing his claim on his body. Malcolm smirked at John, tossing a fifty on the table, "Pleasure eating dinner with you," He pulled Felix along, dragging the boy out from the diner behind him.

Felix had his eyes on John the entire time, waving to him even as Malcolm pulled him through the door. John waved back, smiling a bit before heading out the back and circling into Any Given Sundae from the supply entrance, "How was it?"

Peter was still behind the counter, "Not bad," He said, "You succeeded in pissing off my father. Hopefully that'll be enough."

John's brow furrowed, confused, "What? You said my goal was to reach out to Felix."

"It was," Peter answered, "But then my father appeared so I tweaked the plan."

" _What?_ " John barked, "What do you mean?" Peter didn't speak, "What the hell did you do!"

"I need Felix to see my father for who he is," Peter shouted, standing quickly so he could meet John's eyes, "He needs the incentive to leave."

" _Incentive_?" John shouted, grabbing Peter by the collar and shoving him into the fridge, "What's going to happen to Felix?"

Peter said nothing and that was the most damning response of all. John released Peter, looking over to Ingrid before turning away and rushing to the door. Peter chased after him, grabbing his arm and pulling him back, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to save Felix," John replied, "Isn't it obvious?"

"You're going to make it worse!" Peter shouted, "If you're going to get him away from Malcolm, this had to be done," John bit down on his lip. Peter knew Malcolm best. Peter knew Felix best. If anyone was going to save Felix, it would be him but Felix would _suffer_ in the process, "Just make sure you're there to catch him before he falls."

 

" _He's working for Peter_ ," Malcolm hissed, slamming the door behind him as he threw his jacket onto the floor.

"What?" Felix said, picking up Malcolm's jacket and properly hanging it on the coat rack.

"How else did he know where we'd be for dinner?" Malcolm said, marching back and forth in the living room restlessly, "And his whole change of style? Don't tell me you're stupid enough to believe that John was just trying something new."

Felix stuttered, taken aback by Malcolm's outburst, "It could've been a coincidence."

Malcolm _glared_ at Felix, "Are you protecting him?"

"No," Felix replied, backing away unconsciously as Malcolm approached, "No. I'm not protecting him."

"Why do you want to go to trade school?" Malcolm asked, backing Felix up into the staircase and caging him in between his arms, "What do you need it for? I have enough money to take care of us."

 _You're right. I don't need it. It was just a stupid idea_. Those dismissive, damning phrases that Felix had used countless times to placate Peter and Malcolm, they were ingrained in his thoughts and nearly came out automatically. He bit them down, remembering John, remembering his kindness, "It's just something I want."

"Why?" Malcolm continued, leaning in closer and bearing down on Felix with an unflinching glare.

Why did he want to go to trade school? He couldn't remember what he told Peter the very first time he was asked, "I want to be useful."

Malcolm closed in on him as he spoke, mouth ghosting over his skin and breathing huskily into his ear, "You're already useful here."

"Useful doing what?" Felix gasped out as Malcolm nipped his ear, nearly drawing blood.

"You're being so mean today," Malcolm purred into his ear, hands clutching at his sides and caressing downward, "I don't think I like this. Is it because you saw John?" His fingers dug in suddenly, bruising Felix's hips, "Peter's using him to mess with you. I can tell."

Felix shook his head. He couldn't ignore John's suspicious manner and dress especially since it was so eerily close to Peter's but John would never do anything to hurt him. He was on his side. That was his promise, "John wouldn't."

"He's a naïve, rich brat and he can't hide that under cheap clothing," Malcolm said, voice lowering once more into a purr, "Peter probably tricked him, convincing John to play along to 'save you' from me."

"John wouldn't," Felix mumbled, repeating himself but quieter, suddenly losing all of the valour he had before.

"You and I both know how persuasive Peter can be," Shutting his lover up, Malcolm weaved a hand through his hair and stroked it like he was a pet, "Don't be upset, love. Now that we know, we can start playing a trick on them. It'll be fun."

"John wouldn't do that."

"How would you know? You thought you knew Peter and he ended up confessing to you."

Shoving away Malcolm's arms, Felix ran up the stairs, nearly tripping over the top one as he circled into a guest room and shut the door behind him. He didn't want Malcolm to be right. He wanted to believe that John honestly changed himself for Felix's sake. If it were true, then Felix could find solace that he hadn't made the wrong decision in trusting John. The scoundrel was just so damn persuasive, planting poisonous thoughts in his mind.

A knock startled him out of his thoughts. Felix immediately locked the door behind him and backed off, watching Malcolm's shadow beneath the door, "I want to be alone," Felix called through the door.

"That much I figured," Malcolm replied, "The guest room sheets are in the side drawer. Just thought you'd like to know," Diminishing footsteps proved his disinterest in pursuing Felix further.

This honestly confused Felix. Malcolm was never one to let go of anything, following along at his heels or latched to his body even when his presence was an irritation. He knew Malcolm had a key as well so he could break into the guest room anytime he wanted. Felix wondered if he playing a game, waiting for Felix's guard to drop.

Felix wondered if Malcolm was angry at him for talking to John. Felix wondered if Malcolm would leave him because of that.

The heaviness in his chest returned, the same heaviness when Peter proposed to Wendy during his birthday. Trying to stave it off, Felix unlocked his door and stepped out, "Malcolm?" He called out, approaching the bedroom shyly to find Malcolm splayed out on the bed watching TV. Felix ducked his head when Malcolm wouldn't look at him. His nonchalant expression displayed none of his anger but Felix could never be completely sure, "I'm sorry."

"Hm," Malcolm hummed, contemplating what he should say to Felix, "Sorry for what?"

That was a legitimate question. Felix wasn't sure what he had done wrong but he knew Malcolm was punishing him for it, "I'm sorry for starting a fight."

A smile stretched across Malcolm's face. He pat the bed next to him, leering at Felix as he approached and sat beside him, "You're such a sweetheart," He cooed, lowering Felix onto the bed and sidling up against him, "But yes, you were acting a bit snappish today. No more of that, yes?"

Felix nodded, curling up on his side as Malcolm spooned him, "Are you sure that Peter is behind this?"

"Of course I am," Malcolm giggled, "This stinks of Peter's plotting. Idiot boy will never realize that he can't ever fool me," He tucked his hands under Felix's shirt, rubbing his stomach in comforting circles, "I'm never going to let him hurt you again. That's my promise," He pulled back Felix's feathers, kissing sweetly on his ear and neck.

Felix almost let himself get swept away, almost shutting his eyes and pretending like this day never happened. He nearly fell asleep to Malcolm's soothing touch till he heard a text message ping. Curious, since no one ever called him other than Malcolm, Felix withdrew his phone from his pocket and flipped it open, surprised to see the formal message.

"Who is it?" Malcolm asked, peering over Felix's shoulder and seeing a name he didn't recognize.

"It's John's secretary," Felix remembered her from the time he went to find John at work, "She said she can help me find a good trade school," He jerked away the phone when Malcolm reached for it, "Stop that."

"Are you being snippy again?" Malcolm growled, "I thought we cleared this up."

"Cleared what up?" Felix asked, squirming when Malcolm's hands invasively searched his body, "I still want to try for trade school. I want to be useful somewhere instead of just taking minimum wage assistant bartender job-Ah!" Felix closed his thighs as Malcolm stuffed his hand down his pants, groping him harshly, "How- _oh god_ -how am I supposed to take care of you when you're older?"

Malcolm's hand stopped, immediately withdrawing from Felix's clothes, "What?"

Shoving Malcolm's hands away, he rolled onto his back so he could face the older man, "What if your fortune runs out? You're 43 and the town hates you. Who'll take care of you?" He glided his hands over Malcolm's chest, feeling his steady heartbeat, "I want to provide for you as thanks for… everything you've done for me."

"Felix," Malcolm whispered, expression softening in a way Felix never thought possible for the scoundrel. In the back of Felix's mind, he could feel the chilly air of winter and the harsh pavement against his back, Malcolm's softness reminding him so much of Peter's vulnerability that night, "No one's ever said that to me before," He said, desire filling him, "Do you really mean that?"

Felix nodded, humming as Malcolm's hands lifted from his body and traced his jaw and neck. He had to note that this was the first time he'd ever seen the silver-tongued scoundrel so dumbfounded.

"We'll start searching tomorrow," Malcolm sighed, cuddling with Felix and nuzzling his head lovingly, "I love you so much. I love you more than anything else in the world."

Felix smiled back to him, eventually stripping off his clothes and laying in bed wearing just his shorts. Malcolm joined him shortly after, stripping down to nothing as he kept all of his skin in contact with Felix, "You know, there's no need for modesty here. You can take off your boxers," Malcolm said with a snicker, snapping the band against Felix's hips.

"And give you something to look at?" Felix mumbled, turning off the TV and lamp, "No thanks."

To no one's surprise, Malcolm ground his hips against Felix's ass anyway, coaxing him for hours with his hands, hips, and lips till Felix finally submitted to his affection.

 

"I don't like this," John said, looking to Peter in the backseat, "Why would Malcolm let Felix invite me over to his house?"

"He's trying to show off and get you angry. Call him out on it when he brings it up," Peter replied.

"I can't believe I'm still driving Peter around. Does Wendy know about this? She's going to kill both of us!" Michael shouted, slapping at his wheel and turning into the side street, "I don't even know who I hate more, you or your father."

"Michael!" John snapped, "This is serious. We're trying to save Felix."

Michael scoffed a little, knowing that John's intention was probably far more selfish, "Oh John. You're finally growing up," He pulled into the driveway, peeking over the wheel to check if anyone was watching them, "Coast is clear."

At Michael's prompt, Peter withdrew a wire from his satchel and hooked it through John's scarf, smoothing his clothes over it, "How is that?" John asked, patting at the front of his jacket. He heard his voice echo over Peter's phone.

"Wow," Michael said, "I feel like a spy."

"Welcome to my life," Peter replied, zipping up his satchel of toys, "Now get in there. You remember what we rehearsed. And if there's something off, I'll text you with Michael's phone."

Nodding, John stepped out of the car and approached the door, purposely dishevelling his hair when he saw it in the reflection on the window. Michael backed out of the driveway, parking a couple streets down.

"Can't believe I'm still dealing with you," Michael said, folding his hands behind his head.

"Don't like me?" Peter quipped.

"Never liked you. Thought you were an arsehole," Michael replied, "And lo and behold, I was right. To be fair, everyone thought you were an arsehole, even Mum and Dad. Only Wendy and Felix actually liked you but they've finally figured it out."

Peter's brow twitched, witty remark stuck on his tongue as his lips twisted into a scowl.

Michael glanced back, "Struck a chord? My apologies," He said without a lick of regret.

"Whatever," Peter growled, "As long as I get Felix away from my father. I'll deal with you for as long as I need."

"Likewise, I'm only here because of John," Michael replied, "By the way, if this is actually some ploy for you to spite Felix and John at the same time. I will do everything I can to ruin you, got that? I've got enough connections to completely blacklist you from this town."

"There's no ulterior motive," Peter said, "I want to save Felix and it requires John. That's all."

Michael rolled his eyes at the rear-view mirror, "Forgive me if I don't exactly trust you. All you did was deceive my sister and prey on her feelings for several years," Tired of dealing with Peter, Michael flipped on his radio and filled the empty air with music.

To John's surprise, Malcolm opened the door and greeted him with a smile, "John Darling. So good to see you."

He hated how the man seemed inclined to call John by his first name. Regardless, John smiled to him and entered the house, "Where's Felix?"

"Upstairs getting ready," Malcolm replied, walking John into the living room, "Please, make yourself at home."

Before John could even respond, Malcolm grabbed the back of his jacket and threw him against the couch. Shutting John up with a pillow over his mouth, he harshly groped at his clothes, searching for something.

 _Shit_! John grabbed the scoundrel's wrists, wrestling him off before he could jostle the wire out of his clothes. He whipped the pillow off to the side, glaring daggers at Malcolm who returned the look, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"No headset this time," Malcolm hissed, "Figured you must have something else for Peter to talk through."

Straightening out his clothes, John fought the urge to start a straight up argument. Peter warned him about getting angry around his father and John actively had to stop himself from picking a fight. Luckily, Felix was coming down the stairs and provided a decent distraction against the infuriating man.

"Felix," John called out, smiling sweetly.

Felix's eyes flickered to him and he returned a lazy smile, approaching John only to be intercepted by Malcolm, "Morning," Felix said to John before Malcolm latched himself onto his body and kissed him.

John felt sick to his stomach at the sight how the older man devoured Felix's lips without any shame. He kept a stoic expression, however, knowing that Malcolm would only be encouraged if John showed disgust, "You're a lucky man."

Malcolm snickered, sitting down on the couch and patting on the seat next to him for Felix, "Luck has nothing to do with it," He threw an arm around Felix's waist, nuzzling his neck, "Since the day I saw him, I knew we were meant to be together."

Felix flushed at his words, leaning into Malcolm's embrace. John, on the other hand, wanted to throw up then and there. If Peter was right, Felix would've been _five_ when Malcolm first saw him. He begged that Malcolm's words were simply hyperbolic, "So, anyway," John took his seat in front of Felix, "Have you thought about which trade school?"

"Anywhere with bartending or management would be nice," Felix said.

"There's a good school for that in Phoenix," John replied, checking over the notes his secretary had sent him, "Anything else you want to try?"

Felix shrugged. He hadn't really thought much of it outside the usual, "Arts and design?"

"Also in Phoenix," John replied, "There's a good college in New York too. My family's got an apartment there if you're interested."

"How about anywhere in Storybrooke?" Malcolm asked, crossing his legs.

John snorted at the scoundrel's expected reply, "Nothing Felix is interested in. Storybrooke's a small town. Not many skills are needed here. Unless you do an apprenticeship."

Malcolm hummed with disapproval. He caressed Felix's arm as he pondered, "I guess we can move to Phoenix. That'd be an adventure, wouldn't it?"

"Just the two of us?" Felix sounded somewhat bewildered.

"Of course," Malcolm smirked suddenly, "Actually, that sounds like a pretty good idea. No more Storybrooke, a fresh start for both of us. I'll take as much money as I can with me but after that, you'll take care of me just as you promised."

John's brow furrowed, "What?"

"Didn't Felix tell you?" Malcolm chimed, throwing his arms around Felix and smothering him with an embrace, "Why he wants to get a job."

"I figured it was just something you were interested in," John said to Felix.

Felix smiled at him but his lips quickly stretched into an awkward, uneasy grin, "I want to be useful…so I can take care of Malcolm when he's older."

John flinched at the declaration, less perturbed by Malcolm suddenly claiming a second kiss. Felix wanted to go to trade school right from the start, before he ever met Malcolm. He should never need to justify himself by pandering to this scoundrel. He couldn't say a thing, couldn't tell Felix how broken his logic was. Peter warned him against making Felix feel like he made the wrong decision and how fatal it was to bring it up.

"That's very admirable," John said, "Good to know all of us don't believe Malcolm can take care of himself."

John could tell Malcolm was irked by the comment but he kept a cool expression when Felix smiled. He peered over to Felix, brushing a finger over his smile, "All the more reason for me to keep Felix all to myself,"

_'To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die-'_

Both Felix and John were startled by the ringtone. Felix immediately reached into his pocket but remember that he had left his phone charging by the bedstead. He peered over to John who looked almost confused as he stared at his phone. Peter had set the ringtone, "Hello?" John answered, seeing Michael on the screen but knowing who'd be talking.

 _"You need to be more aggressive. Flirt with Felix openly,"_ Peter whispered _, "If my father isn't angry, he won't drive Felix off."_

"I'm _not sure_ about the budget this year. Have you asked Heather?"

_"Trust me. With Malcolm around, you'll never have enough leverage to pry Felix away."_

"I guess _you're right_. I'll check it over tonight."

John pocketed his phone, "Sorry about that. They can't get anything done at work without me."

"You didn't have to take the day off," Malcolm said, "You could've just sent us the research."

John smiled, seeing the perfect opportunity, "If I did that, I wouldn't have gotten to see Felix," He winked at Felix and begged that it didn't seem awkward. Judging from Felix's amused expression, it probably was.

"I like that song," Felix said, "It used to be my ringtone for...Peter."

"It's a real classic," John replied, "You should set it to my phone number."

Malcolm frowned, "Excuse me. Felix is already seeing someone if you hadn't noticed."

"Oh, I noticed," John smirked, making an utterly Peter expression and nearly making Felix swoon, "I just didn't care."

"Wow!" Michael declared, leaning over Peter's phone, "He's better at being Peter than you!"

Peter glared, "Shut up."

Felix had a hand over his mouth, snickering into it while Malcolm seethed at John, "What's with the act?" Malcolm grumbled, "We know you're nothing like this. Why bother keeping up the act?"

"It makes Felix happy," John replied, "Then that's good enough for me."

"Or is it because Peter's telling you to do this, hm?" Malcolm accused right in front of Felix.

Felix's smile immediately dropped and John began to fear what would happen if Felix found out that Peter was still trying to worm his way back into his life. He could read the distress on Felix's face, realizing that everything John had done to make him happy was something Peter would've done in the past for Wendy.

John scoffed, reclining back on the couch and refusing to break eye contact, "Are you insane? I hate Peter. Felix rejecting Peter was the best thing that could've happened," Those words, Peter had given John those words specifically and they had their effect on Felix just as Peter had predicted.

Pulling away from Malcolm, Felix asked John, "Do you really think that?" His voice seemed unsure and shaky as if deep down, he honestly regret tossing Peter's confession aside but kept it suppressed because of Malcolm.

Answering honestly, John sat up straight and stared into Felix's eyes, "The truth is," He swallowed, "I've always wanted you but I knew you'd never love me as long as you had Peter. But now, he's out of the way and I have another chance."

" _John_ ," His words hit far too close to home.

"That's going too far," Malcolm hissed, jerking Felix back into his arms, "I invited you over to work on Felix's trade school application, not for you to come here and flirt with _my_ lover."

John glared at him, perfectly remembering Peter's instruction on dealing with this, "No, you invited me over to flaunt your relationship with Felix," Malcolm honestly looked surprised that John had figured that out, "And look how that's turning out. There's a reason why Felix would rather talk to me. It's the same reason why one of us has a job and the other is a washed-up, former-mafioso."

"You arrogant brat. Who the hell do you think you're talking to?"

Felix darted up when Malcolm stood, holding him back, "Calm down," He stifled a yelp when Malcolm's hand snapped up to his wrist, nearly crushing it.

"Why are you stopping me? Why are you protecting him?" Malcolm growled.

John didn't want to keep pushing. He felt like if he did, something awful would happen to Felix. But this was the plan. And he had to trust that Peter knew best, "Let Felix protect whoever he wants. It's his choice."

Malcolm's head snapped over to Felix with an alarming speed. Shivering suddenly, Felix couldn't tear his eyes away from Malcolm's no matter how hard he tried, "W-What…" He glanced over to John, sensing a bit of fear in his bravado, "John doesn't mean it. He's just…bothered by how intimate we are. It doesn't mean I care for him more or…" Felix reasoned, hoping that Malcolm would be satisfied by the answer.

The tranquil rage from Malcolm was gone and John had thought his blatant anger would be more palatable. He was dead wrong and he could already feel himself sweat in Malcolm's furious presence.

"You've overstayed your welcome," Malcolm growled, grabbing John's arm and hauling him off the couch, "Get out," With inhuman strength, Malcolm dragged John across his living room and opened his door all with one hand.

John fought to get away but found himself unable to do a thing. His eyes darted back at Felix, fearing for him and what Malcolm would do once he was gone, "Get out of here!" John cried out, breaking character for this tiny moment before he was hurled out the door.

Felix didn't move even at John's command. He remained rooted where he was, terrified of Malcolm, John, being alone, everything. His senses returned to him when Malcolm locked the door and bolted it shut as if John could somehow break the lock. Out of reflex, he took a step back when Malcolm approached and that was all Malcolm needed to lunge at Felix. Frightful and frantic, Felix threw himself over the couch, scrambling over it when he tripped but somehow getting around Malcolm. He didn't go for the door, didn't know where he could run so he went up the stairs, heart racing when he heard Malcolm's feet following after him.

Rounding the stairs, Felix slammed the guest room door shut begging that Malcolm would leave him alone like yesterday. He shuddered when the doorknob jiggled violently twice. Felix swallowed harshly and nearly fell to his knees with relief when Malcolm's shadow disappeared from beneath the door. He rubbed at the sweat on his forehead, noticing how a cold sweat had covered his entire body.

Malcolm's shadow returned and Felix nearly screamed. The doorknob jiggled again, softer this time, unlocking it, and Felix scrambled backwards till he hit the back wall, eyes meeting with Malcolm's and seeing nothing but anger.

" _Malcolm_ ," Felix said shakily, " _Listen_ -" His breath was knocked out of him as Malcolm wound an arm around his waist and hoisted him forward, throwing him against the bed, "Mal!" He exclaimed, shoving at the older man as he dug his fingers into Felix's hips and dragged his jeans off, "Damn it! Listen to me!" Without thinking, too frantic to reason, Felix punched Malcolm across the face, hoping to snap some sense into him and when the older man paused, Felix thought it worked, "Malcolm? I'm sorry but y-."

Malcolm struck him and held nothing back.

Dazed, his head ringing as it struck the bedpost before collapsing onto the bed, Felix passed out for a few seconds before he found himself facedown on the bed, half naked with his shirt rolled up his chest. The pain was spreading across his face, worming its way into his scar and spreading like fire. He couldn't keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds. All he could do was swing an arm back and foolishly hope that would be enough to deter Malcolm. Instead, Malcolm grabbed his arm and twisted it violently, securing him in place and ending all attempts at struggling away.

"Malcolm…" Felix groaned, biting into a pillow when he heard Malcolm slicking himself up, jerking off to Felix's pain, "Malcolm!" He shouted, eyes clenched shut, arm screaming from the impossible angle as Malcolm penetrated him, "Get off!" Felix cried out, ripping into the mattress with his free hand as Malcolm crushed him into the bed.

There was no pleasure, no creeping lust that overcame his anxiety whenever Malcolm mounted him, just a raw, burning heat that threatened to melt him from the inside out. Felix whimpered uncontrollably, begging pathetically and in incoherent babbles as Malcolm ravaged him.

_It had to be done. I'm sorry Felix._

"It had to be done," Peter whispered, looking out the window.

"Don't say that," John muttered, counting the streetlights as they passed, "What's he going to do to him?"

Fistfights, yelling, at worst a broken limb, none of the options were savoury but Peter didn't know what else to say, "He'll hurt him," Peter replied dumbly as if that wasn't the most obvious answer.

John rubbed at his forehead, "Is this the only way? If we have to hurt Felix just to get him away from Malcolm, that doesn't make us any better," When Peter didn't respond, John twisted around in his seat to glare at him, "Answer me, damn it. Give me some reason to keep working with you."

"He won't do much," Peter muttered quickly, "Nothing that won't heal."

It was their only solace, their wretched goal driven by the belief that Felix would suffer less if he could make it though this torture.

"Why should Felix have to suffer like that?" John whispered, turning back to the road.

Michael was shaking his head, hating this plan but unable to do a thing about it.

"Tomorrow. Felix will come to you. I guarantee," Peter said, voice tired, "You have to convince him to never go back or else Malcolm will never let him out of the house again. Do you understand?"

John nodded frantically, already imagining Felix in tears, covered in bruises, tortured. The scar on his face flashed across his eyes. Felix shied away from it when he first eyed it, "Did Malcolm give him that scar?"

Peter swallowed, unable to find the heart to lie, "No."

John didn't need to ask who it came from. The answer was obvious, "Why?"

"It was an accident," Peter muttered lowly, "I was fighting with Malcolm. We knocked over a glass lamp. Felix tried to stop me. I pushed him into the broken lamp,"

_"Go to hell!"_

_"Haven't you done enough? Why can't you just let me be happy?"_

Peter cringed at the memory. Peter would've taken a century living under Malcolm's thumb than a single damnation from Felix.

"So this is where you got the idea?" John said, "One trigger event that drove Felix into Malcolm's arms," Peter nodded, "You both really are so alike."

Peter didn't have the pride to deny that truth anymore. For Felix's heart, they both would deceive, destroy, manipulate him, an endless tug-of-war between father and son. His only solace was John Darling, the one who could break this awful cycle.

"Peter!" Michael shouted when John couldn't wake him from his thoughts.

Flinching, Peter shook off his daze and looked to Michael, "What?"

"John was asking where he should be?" Michael repeated, "So Felix can find him easily."

"Workplace or your parent's home," Peter said, "Felix knows where both those places are and both are reachable by bus. It'll be easier for him to get to you."

Michael narrowed his eyes, confused by the small comment, "Reachable by bus? Doesn't Felix drive?"

Peter didn't want to explain his implication. He swallowed harshly, shutting his eyes and hoping he hadn't ruined Felix again.


	9. I Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Most likely the darkest scenes throughout this entire fic. Underage and non-con warnings

_"I don't want to do this anymore…" Felix whispered, standing in front of Malcolm who remained seated on the bed, arms resting on his knees as he devoured Felix with a look._

_"Why not?" Malcolm asked, head tilted back innocently, "Does it hurt?"_

_Felix didn't react, knowing that Malcolm would somehow convince him with twisted logic that everything he did was okay, "It's bad."_

_"Who told you what we do is bad? Did Peter tell you?" Malcolm inquired, watching Felix shake his head, "Then who?"_

_"No one," Felix mumbled. He just knew it was wrong, "I want to go back downstairs."_

_The boy didn't fight when Malcolm pulled him close, knowing that he'd never be able to escape. With his hands under his shoulders, Malcolm hoisted him onto his lap, "You'll like it when you're older," Ignoring the boy's protests, Malcolm closed in and nipped on his ear lightly, purposely working it with his tongue and lips, "This doesn't hurt, does it?" He pressed his lips lower when Felix didn't fight back, planting kisses all along his neck, "I can hardly wait till you're older. Then I'll show you something real fun."_

_"Papa," Felix cried out, clutching so firmly into Malcolm's shoulders that his knuckles had gone white, "I don't want this."_

_Groaning, voice aroused and terrifying, Malcolm drew in a bit of skin into his mouth and bit down, marking Felix with a purpling bruise. Felix cried out, flailing and screaming when Malcolm suddenly rolled him onto the bed, continuing to nibble and lap at the mark he had left behind. Malcolm's weight was on him, crushing him, he couldn't breathe, his head felt light, Malcolm's hand was fisted in his hair. He clawed at Malcolm desperately, jerking at his hair trying to deter the wretched man._

_With one flailing strike, he jabbed a finger into Malcolm's eye. The older man hissed and leapt back giving Felix enough room to pull away and run out the door, "Felix!" Malcolm cried out, suddenly realizing what he had done and rushing out to catch Felix._

_Felix had gone into Peter's room, slamming the door shut behind him and crawling under the bed, curling up as tightly as he could in the furthest corner to get away. His neck was throbbing, his heart pounding so hard that he thought it'd burst into pieces. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to disappear, he wailed and wept till he thought he'd run out of tears._

"Peter, help…"

_The knock on the door scared the hell out of Felix. The boy could only tuck himself into a tighter ball and beg that Peter would come back soon._

_"Felix!" Malcolm called out, "I'm sorry. I went too far. Please come out. We can go get ice cream again, buy a new video game, anything you want. Just please come-" The front door opened and Malcolm silenced._

_"I'm home!" Peter's tiny voice called out, kicking off his shoes. He heard his father nearly sprinting across the hall, shutting his door behind him before Peter could even peer up the stairs. Confused, Peter slowly made his way up the stairs, immediately catching the sound of wailing coming from his room, "Felix?" He instinctively whispered, rushing to his room and feeling his heart break when he saw Felix curled up and crying hysterically._

_Felix didn't respond, didn't react, the world could have been ending all around him but Felix wouldn't have known, possessed by terror that wracked his body with uncontrollable sobs. Peter held his friend, joining him under the bed and holding him close while he cried for hours and hours. His father never came in, pretended like nothing was happening, and Peter knew he was the guiltiest party of all._

_Had he seen the mark on his neck that Felix so desperately tried to cover, Peter might've killed his father then and there. When Felix woke up the next day after crying himself to sleep, he couldn't remember a thing, barely remembering that he was at Peter's house let alone his breakdown. Peter didn't push, didn't want to hurt Felix anymore, so he left the boy blissfully unaware._

_Since that day, Felix began wearing hooded sweaters, always covering up his neck, and freaking out whenever anyone other than Peter touched his hair._

 

Felix screamed when he awoke, jolting out from the bed and throwing off the blanket. He'd thoroughly soaked through his clothes and sheets with cold sweat and his heart was threatening to pound its way through his ribs. He clutched at his chest, groaning as he attempted to catch his breath.

 _Was that a memory?_ He couldn't recall yet the images were so vivid, it couldn't have been anything less than truth. He rubbed his eyes, finding dried up tears in them that left salty tracks down his face. Regardless of what it was, Felix didn't want to think back to it and was already trying to suppress it with whatever thought he could muster.

Memories of a few hours ago resurfaced, cloth caught between his teeth, the feeling of his arm nearly ripped from its socket, skin slapping against skin, penetrated unwillingly and brutally like he was nothing but a sex doll. Cold sweat returned on Felix's skin and he nearly screamed once more. He tried to swing his legs over the side of the bed only to be stopped by a burning ache inside of him, thighs throbbing with heated pain. He curled in on himself, laying back on the bed and weathering through the pain.

He was back in the master bedroom, as he noted from the auburn walls and television set in front of the bed. Malcolm must've carried him back after he was done. Other than the cold sweat from sleep, Felix didn't feel sticky which meant Malcolm must've cleaned him up as well. What shook him worst of all was the _bouquet of bluebells_ sitting on the bedstead next to him. _Did Malcolm really think this would make up for what he had done?_

Shuddering, Felix slowly lifted his knees to his chest and hugged them tight. He flinched backwards when he heard Malcolm coming up the stairs. He scrambled back under the sheets, ignoring the ache as he curled up on his side and pretended to be asleep. The door opened as he expected, Malcolm pausing at the door before approaching him quietly. Felix did everything he could to prevent himself from squirming when Malcolm gently brushed the side of his face with his knuckles.

When Malcolm kissed his forehead, Felix couldn't fight the full body shudder as his eyes snapped open, "Get away from me," Felix growled, shoving at Malcolm with his right arm and immediately feeling a sharp pain at his shoulder. He clutched at it with his opposite hand, feeling the flesh swelling slightly.

Contrary to his request, Malcolm sat on the bed, leaning over to Felix with a disgustingly concerned expression, "I lost control. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?" Felix gasped out, "You think that will make up for what you did to me?"

Malcolm's expression dropped, hands tracing the blanket aimlessly, "I bought flowers. And I'm making pasta fagioli."

Immediately, Felix struck him across the face, the bruise on his own face suddenly throbbing reminding him of what Malcolm had done to him. He didn't want to know how badly it looked given how much it hurt, "Go fuck yourself."

Malcolm took him by the wrist, draining his anger and replacing it with terror, "It won't happen again. I promise," He watched Felix climb off the bed and stumble forward, the pain of his loins acting as shackles, "You're going to hurt yourself," He commented, getting off the bed and dragging Felix back onto it.

Felix squirmed in Malcolm's grasp, struggling like a trapped animal as Malcolm laid him back on the bed and pulled the sheets over him, restraining him by the shoulders, "Let me go!"

"Felix, just listen to me-"

"No!" Felix barked, stopping his struggling so he could glare at Malcolm with everything he could muster, "I didn't deserve any of that and I certainly didn't deserve to be punished like that. Why do you think you can fix that?"

Malcolm was silent, hands clenched in fists on his lap as Felix glared at him, "I can't help it. You make me lose control, Felix. It's because I want you so badly," He stroked the bruise on his face lightly. It was sticky with ointment to numb the pain, "I only did this because I care. Not because I wanted to harm you."

Tearing away in disgust, Felix didn't know how to react to the older man. After a brief pause, the conversation resetting, Felix figured he should clarify that awful memory Malcolm's savagery had awakened, "What did you do to me when I was little?"

Malcolm was surprised, eyes narrowing, "I don't understand."

"You used to pull me aside when Peter and I were playing. Or you'd pick me up before Peter came home," Felix explained, "You did something to me."

"I kissed you. I told you that," Malcolm replied.

"What else," Felix growled, "You pulled me aside several times. You did more than just kiss me," He froze when Malcolm's eyes drifted to his neck. The hickey he loved to leave behind, loved to suckle on every day just to keep it fresh on his Felix's flesh. Felix immediately slapped a hand over the mark, "I was a kid. What were you thinking?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Of course it matters!" Felix shouted, "If Peter didn't find me, you would've raped me _like you just did_."

Malcolm flinched at the accusation, "That was in the past. And that wasn't rape. We're lovers."

"Are you _insane_?" Felix hissed, breath shallow and harsh, the world spinning in his mind, realizing that he had made yet another mistake trusting Malcolm of all people, "Fuck you, Malcolm," He lay back on the bed, turned to his side and slapping the bouquet of flowers to the floor.

Malcolm punched the bed beside him, hanging his head in shame, "It won't happen again. I promise. I'll never hurt you again. I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Malcolm promised him the first time he got into a fight with John that he'd never be jealous. He promised he'd tell Felix the truth but withheld the most damning story of all. Peter and Malcolm really were one and the same.

Anytime Felix tried to get off the bed, Malcolm would use his injury against him and wrestle him back onto it, "We're not going anywhere until we sort this out," Malcolm said indignantly, huffing when Felix would turn away and ignore him.

"Where's my phone?" Felix muttered, finding his charger unplugged and his phone no where to be seen. He opened his drawer, noticing that his wallet and car keys were gone as well.

Malcolm shrugged, "You must've misplaced it," He grabbed Felix's wrists again, pulling him away from the bedstead and back into the center of the bed, "Why do you need it anyway?"

The last thing Felix needed was for Malcolm to be angry again. Huffing loudly, Felix threw off Malcolm's grip on his arms and scrambled up against the headboard, trying to be as far from Malcolm as possible, "No reason," Felix mumbled, hugging his knees once more and planning on waiting this out.

Malcolm proved resilient, eventually turning on the TV and sliding up beside Felix on the bed. Felix couldn't leave the bed fast enough to avoid Malcolm hauling him back. He was trapped in this room, trapped with this madman, and he had no one to go to.

_Except John._

If Felix could get to his phone, or any phone, he could call John to pick him up. He glanced over at the home phone Malcolm usually kept in the corner and found it _removed_. Swallowing harshly, he glanced back over to Malcolm, trying to find a way to get the man to leave the room for just a moment so he could try to escape.

Lips nearly trembling, Felix started, "I'm hungry."

"Are you ready to work this out then?" Malcolm asked, turning off the TV and sitting up.

No. He was never going to work this out and he knew if he played along, Malcolm's persuasive words would corrupt his thoughts, sway him to believe this man's crooked logic. He swallowed the dryness in his throat, trying to figure out what he could possibly do, "Please," He whimpered, eyes round with naivety, "Please, _Papa_ , I'm hungry."

Taken aback, Malcolm stared at Felix lovingly, turning soft whenever Felix would use that sinful pet name, "Alright. I'll start cooking," He said, sliding off the bed and heading down the stairs after shutting the door behind him.

Waiting for Malcolm's footsteps to reach the kitchen, Felix quickly dressed himself with a simple cotton shirt, a pair of jeans, a rumpled sweater he had accidentally left on the ground, and a pair of old sneakers he left tucked under the bed. From the bed, he searched the drawers till he scavenged a handful of change, just enough for bus fare. When he could delay it no longer, Felix inched over to the side of the bed and stood up slowly, gritting his teeth and fighting the urge to sit back down when a harsh pain lanced up from the base of his spine. He groaned, nearly collapsing over Malcolm's desk as he tried to distribute his weight elsewhere. He took a few shaky steps forward, feeling the pain oscillate between each leg. His hips felt like they were on fire and each step to accustom himself to the pain only made everything worse.

"Ow," Felix mumbled, making his way to the window and opening it. There was no way he'd be able to get out through the front door without Malcolm noticing. With his pain debilitating him, there's no way he'd be able to run. Sneaking out was his only chance as impossible it seemed.

Felix peered out the window, groaning and hissing in pain as he climbed up Malcolm's desk and slowly slid one leg out, getting a good foothold on the textured tiles before withdrawing his second leg. The icy chill of the air was somewhat soothing to his aching joints. Breathing heavily, Felix took a short breather on the roof, waiting for the pain to subside before slowly lowering himself from the railing to the soft grass. He cried out when his fingers slipped off the cool drainpipe and hit the ground, impact jolting up his legs and crippling him. He fell to his knees, begging that Malcolm hadn't heard him. Forcing himself to his feet, Felix limped away from Malcolm's house, resting along fences on his way to the bus stop.

Felix wasn't sure of the time and he didn't want to risk going to the bank only for John to have left. He went to the Darling estate instead, knowing that at the very least, someone would call John to pick him up. The rocky bus ride did no favours to his injury and his limp was even worse as he stepped off the bus. Without a jacket or scarf, as many confused bus-goers noticed, Felix was shivering and numb by the time he reached the front gates. Groaning with each step, shambling along like a zombie, Felix eventually reached the front door and promptly collapsed against it, swearing that he was bleeding.

"Ah!" Wendy shouted, seeing Felix slouched against the door rubbing at his arms, "Wha…Felix?"

Felix looked up tiredly, breath coming out choppy and weak, "Is-Is John here?"

"No, he's still at work," Wendy replied, never having seen Felix so worn out, "Come inside. You must be freezing. I'll get you something to drink."

Helping Felix to his feet, Wendy led him into the living room and laid him down across the couch, leaving momentarily to drop off her books before returning with a mug of hot chocolate, "Here. You really need this. I also called John. He should be over in a bit."

Nodding a thanks, Felix slowly sipped at the mug, letting the heat of the drink warm him. He didn't mind when Wendy sat across from him, watching him carefully as if he would die any second, "What happened to you?" Wendy asked.

"It's nothing," He mumbled, shaking his head. He couldn't let Wendy know.

"How's Peter?"

Felix flinched at the question. Her brothers probably sheltered her from the news that Felix had ran off with Malcolm, preventing her from ever bouncing back and taking Peter in, "Don't know. Don't care."

Wendy tilted her head, confused, "You're not seeing him?"

"No," Felix grumbled, laying back against the couch after putting the mug aside, "I've barely seen him since that time with the Lost Boys."

She sighed, realizing what her brothers had done. She flipped on the TV, busy noise to keep them both from stewing in awkward silence, "You know," She started, trying to make small talk, "He broke up with me right in front of my parents."

Felix snorted at the thought, "Sounds like him."

"He does loves theatrics," Wendy added, "He was all 'I love Felix' and then just ran out before we even brought out the second course."

Felix shook his head, chuckling pitifully at the story, "Peter doesn't love me. _He loves himself_. I wish I realized that sooner."

"Me too," Wendy whispered, eyes drifting to the floor.

Unconsciously, Felix lowered his hood so he could lay back more comfortable on the couch. The moment he did, he accidentally exposed his scarred and bruised cheek to Wendy. The unknowing girl gasped, horrified at his mutilation, "Oh my god," She gasped, "Wh-What happened? Are you hurt anywhere else?"

Panicking, Felix pulled his hood back on and turned away. At her words, he was reminded of all the pain inflicted on his body: His bruised shoulder, the purpling bruise covering his scar, the humiliating ache between his legs, "It's nothing," He mumbled too quietly for her to hear, "I want to see John."

"Was it Malcolm?" Wendy asked, voice stern, "Did he do that to you?"

Felix couldn't forget that Wendy dealt with him. She too was manipulated by Malcolm and she only got away clean because she had a family to turn to. He began to tremble at the thought of Malcolm, his hands all over his body, striking at him across the face, hurting him inside. He reminded himself of how he was nearly held hostage in Malcolm's home and what would happen if Malcolm caught him.

What if he couldn't get away the second time?

Folding in on himself, Felix let out a strangled cry and dry-heaved over the side of the couch.

"He's going to- He's going-" Felix stuttered out, suddenly hyperventilating. His eyes were blown wide, dilated till the grey of his iris was nearly gone, "Where's John? Where's John?" He felt Wendy's hand on his back, a soft scent of fine, floral soap wafting from her and erasing the stench of Malcolm's cologne. Unconsciously, Felix leapt into Wendy's arms, clutching her and wailing against her shoulder, his whole body trembling and weak, liquid on the couch from where he lay latched onto Wendy for safety.

Wendy carefully lowered Felix onto the couch, arms still around him and letting the blond make a mess of her shirt, tears and snivel staining her shoulder. Her hands trembled but she fought the shake in an attempt to be strong for Felix. She knew her brothers had gotten involved with something, the two of them having gone out and skipped work far more than they should have. She hadn't expected them to be associated with Felix and she certainly didn't expect Felix to be so broken.

"You're safe," Wendy whispered to him as she stroked his back, noticing that his shaking would slow whenever she finished a stroke, "No one will get to you here. You're safe now. John and Michael are both coming over soon."

Felix pawed at his face, unable to let go of Wendy and overcome this alone, "He wouldn't stop," He mumbled, "I begged him but he kept going. Then he wouldn't let me go until I forgave him."

Wendy shut her eyes, listening to Felix recall that awful memory, the source of his misery and pain.

"What if he finds me? What do I do?"

"Wendy?" John called.

"In here!" She shouted from the living room, lowering Felix back onto the couch as she stood up.

John entered, eyes landing on his sister first before darting immediately to Felix. The boy was curled up against the couch, clutching at his sweater anxiously, still shuddering with his face completely stained with tears, "W-What…What happened?"

"You tell me," Wendy snapped, folding her arms, "What is going on? What aren't you telling me?"

Unable to lie to his sister, John stayed silent, weaving his fingers in-between Felix's and stroking at his forehead, "I'll tell you later. We need to take care of Felix first."

Peter told him that Felix would've contacted him tomorrow at the earliest, most likely peeved from his fight with Malcolm and only finding the strength to break away after a night's sleep. Did they miscalculate Felix's mental strength, unable to handle Malcolm's harassment after all the attrition?

"Felix," John whispered, stroking at his cheek when Wendy finished bandaging his shoulder and backed off, "Hey," He coaxed Felix to meet his eyes, noticing the frantic look behind a glazed-over expression, "Don't be scared, you're safe now. Malcolm can never hurt you again."

Felix looked like he wanted to speak but couldn't find the strength to. He nodded back dumbly, letting John cover him with a blanket Wendy retrieved from the closet. Holding his hand to his chest so Felix could feel John's steady heartbeat, Felix eventually dozed off, the pain and suffering creasing his face fading away with sleep.

When Wendy was sure Felix wouldn't reawaken, she spoke to John, "You're working with Peter, aren't you? That's why you aren't telling me anything."

John nodded pathetically, ashamed that he let his sister figure it out so quickly, "Felix is dating Malcolm. Peter wanted my help to save Felix from him," He didn't expand on how he planned on helping Peter but Wendy knew Peter long enough to predict his plans, "Did Felix tell you what Malcolm did?"

A crimson flush spread on Wendy's face, a blush of outrage, not embarrassment. Felix had relayed the story to her in bits and pieces but she figured it out well enough. She shut her eyes, trying to say the words without faltering, " _He raped him_."

John's heart _stopped_ before its beating became rapid and fearful, knowing that his actions had cost Felix dearly. His eyes flickered down to Felix's form, Wendy's conclusion suddenly obvious from Felix's disheveled look, dirty laundry hastily thrown on to get away as soon as possible, no jacket despite the winter cold biting in the air, Felix's hysteria and desperation. This was the only reason why Felix would contact John so early.

_It had to be done._

John stiffened at the memory, eyes wide as he recalled Peter's words.

_He'll hurt him._

Did Peter know? Of course he knew. Peter was all about being an absolute chess master. His plans always falling perfectly into place.

_Nothing that won't heal._

"That son of a bitch," John growled, throwing on his jacket and heading out the living room.

"Wait!" Wendy called out, "Where are you going?"

"Michael will be here in a bit to take care of Felix," John replied, "There's something I have to do."

Wendy knew she couldn't stop him, never seeing such pure rage in his stoic brother's eyes. She wanted to follow, to keep him in check in case he did something he regret but Felix's well being beckoned her attention.

Taking the bus, heading down a few blocks, John was utterly silent, stewing in his own rage, seeing the worst images in his head. Felix screaming in pain, writhing while restrained on a bed, begging for mercy, crying when it was denied, all because of him, all because he was stupid enough to follow along with Peter's plan. He stormed over to Peter's apartment, almost offended that he had taken residence in Felix's old home, and slammed on the door with his fist.

Peter opened it shortly after, glaring at him, "What is-" Peter never finished, hands closing around his neck and shoving him backwards into the wall to his right. He tried to speak, finding all his words choked out of him along with his breath.

" _This was you_!" John growled, sounding in human as he slammed Peter against the wall, "Did you know what Malcolm would do? Was that your plan from the very start, you selfish bastard?!"

Peter wrestled at John's wrist, managing to pull him away just enough to speak, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You knew what Malcolm would do to him and you turned me into your pawn, " John said, fighting the urge to strangle the life out of Peter, "Is that what you meant by 'it had to be done'?"

"What? What happened to Felix?" Peter asked, drawing only a blank and confused when John only got angrier.

"Don't play stupid!"

"I don't know what you're fucking talking about!"

"It was part of your plan. Everything's always a part of your plan."

"What the hell happened to Felix? Just tell me already!"

"Malcolm raped him!" John shouted hysterically, fingers slipping off Peter's neck, " _Because of us_."

All of Peter's anger dissipated. He stared at John, utterly lost and empty, " _What_?" The naivety in his tone and the quivering of his voice spoke the truth for him. Peter had no idea this would happen.

John backed away into the opposite wall and stared at him, "You didn't know."

Peter shook his head frantically, his glibness absent, "No," He whispered, "I-I thought it would just be a fight. Then Felix would sleep it off… I didn't. I didn't want that to happen," His actions brought pain to Felix once more and he used John to do it. The realization sunk in and he slid down the wall, falling to his floor pathetically, "Felix…"

"I have to go to him," John muttered quickly, stepping away from the wall and heading out.

"I'm going with you," Peter said, scrambling to his feet only to be stopped by a hand on his chest.

"No," John nearly growled, "You're going to make it worse. Malcolm already knows you're involved. If you go and Felix finds out, he'll think you wanted this to happen to him."

John's words were right but it was killing Peter to know that he had hurt Felix again and he couldn't do anything to help him, "But I need to help him."

"You've done enough," John said, tearing away and heading down the hall leaving Peter standing at his door dumbly.

Peter wandered back to his bed, shoving away the money he had been sorting for his rent as he collapsed on the sheets. He shouldn't have ever miscalculated so badly. _Miscalculations never happened_. _Screw John_ , Peter had to go to Felix right now, had tell him he made a mistake, that he'd never leave him again, and hope to the heavens that Felix would be alright. He nearly stepped out of his apartment till he passed himself in the mirror, a random furnishing Ingrid had given him from her ice cream shop as a gift.

Peter was a chess master, every move calculated and planned. And so was his father.

Restraining himself, Peter shut the door and returned to his bed. Malcolm knew Peter was involved and he knew exactly how to jeopardize everything. Calming himself, playing through the scene in his head, he could see it now: Felix hysterical at the sight of Peter, damning John for being a tool in his game, John's affection suddenly soured with manipulation, running back into his father's arms betrayed and hurt. Malcolm was provoking him and he couldn't let himself take the bait. This was a game between Peter and Malcolm with Felix caught in the crossfire.

 

Michael didn't want anything to do with this. From the beginning, he told John not to get involved with Peter, that Peter would lead him to do something awful and John would never be able to live with himself. His hatred against Felix was short-lived, realizing how broken he was and how the Pan family gleefully ripped him to shreds to suit their needs. But working with Peter, he knew this was a time bomb.

"How is he?" Wendy asked, returning with a glass of water and watching John and Felix through the door.

"Better. Had a small case of hypothermia, I think," Michael replied, "He's calmed down too since John came back," He flinched when he noticed Wendy glaring at him. He sighed, rubbing at his forehead and wondering how he got pulled into this, "You want me to tell you what's going on?"

"Yes," She snapped, "And don't leave anything out."

As Michael walked Wendy to the study to talk, John remained in his room holding Felix's hand while the blond remained in bed, eyes closed but too distraught to sleep. He recalled everything Peter told him: Never judge Felix, never make it seem like he did the wrong thing.

"How are you feeling?" John whispered, stroking the back of his wrist.

"Better," Felix murmured, "I didn't know where else to go."

John placed a finger on his mouth, "Shh, it's alright. I'll always be there for you, just like I promised."

Felix's breathing slowed down, his heartbeat adjusting to a slow, even rhythm, "I miss your other look," Felix smiled, still admiring John's evenly styled hair and his trademark hipster glasses despite his words.

Smile faltering for just a moment, John stroked the side of Felix's cheek, patting it just like Peter once did, "Stay as long as you like. My parents will understand."

Felix averted his eyes at the suggestion, suddenly perturbed but John was unable to determine why, "I need to make a call."

"Why?" John said on reflex, already knowing who Felix wanted to speak with.

"I snuck out. Malcolm's probably searching for me."

John was shaking once more, eyes hardened behind his glasses. When Felix was hysterical, he berated Malcolm and dreaded what would happen if he came back. When the hysteria passed, Malcolm's crooked logic took over once more. John wasn't sure which was worse, "He hurt you for talking to me. You don't have to go back to him," It broke John's heart when Felix didn't respond, eyes glazing over as he turned away, "He doesn't deserve you."

"He loves me."

"Then why did he hurt you?"

Felix couldn't answer. He never could whenever any Lost Boy asked him why he stuck by Peter all those years, "I've given things to Malcolm that I can never get back," Felix murmured, turning onto his side and away from John, "I already lost fifteen years of my life to Peter. I don't want to be wrong again."

Felix had made nothing but bad decisions, being swept along by people who only wanted to manipulate him. John wanted to pry him away from Malcolm, show him a better world, but he knew Felix would only hate himself for making one more bad choice. Worst of all, if Felix ever found out the truth of Peter's involvement, he'd never forgive himself for falling for Peter's trick again.

"If he hurts you again, what will you do?" John asked.

Felix was unable to answer, curling up under the blanket, "He really does love me. He just loses control sometimes," He recalled Malcolm's words, how he just couldn't help it, "I make him lose control."

_Lose control?_

John could already feel the heat of rage on his cheeks but fought desperately not to let that bleed into his speech, "What if you can't get away next time?" John said, trying so hard not to be angry at Malcolm for poisoning Felix's mind.

"There won't be a next time. He promised it won't happen again," Felix said in a shaking voice.

"How many things has he promised and gone back on?" John asked, pressing with questions he hoped weren't too accusatory.

Felix was shaking his head, "He just forgets sometimes."

"Felix," John begged, "He raped you. You should be reporting him to the cops."

"It wasn't rape," Felix's voice broke as he reasoned, "We're lovers."

John's blood turned to ice, his mind churning with the most hateful thoughts as something snapped, "Did he say that to you?" John spoke with a steely, heartless voice. Felix's lack of response confirmed it, "Did you tell him to stop during it?"

"He was just a bit rough," Felix gasped out, turning to John with a frantic, frightened look, "It's normal."

"That's not normal!" John shouted, "He punched you in the face."

The bruise throbbed at the reminder, "I punched him first. He was just…"

"Just what?" John snapped, "And why did you punch him? You did it because you _wanted him to stop_ ," Felix's mouth opened, clicking close moments later when he couldn't find the words to say. He had no fire left, nothing but sputtering flames that would never deter John, "He took away your phone so you couldn't call me. You told Wendy that he trapped you in his room. You had to sneak out to get away because he would've hurt you more. Felix, he's a bad man and you can't go back to him."

"Please stop," Felix whined out, covering his ears and shutting his eyes, " _Stop. Stop. Stop_."

John immediately snapped back, breath lost when he realized he pushed too far.

Felix sat up, legs swinging over the side of the bed, trembling, whimpering out apologies and consolations to himself because no one else would, "I get it! I always trust the wrong person. I never realize when someone's just manipulating me. I gave my virginity to someone who tried to rape me when I was a child. I get it! I'm too stupid to make my own decisions. Peter was right," He stared at John, eyes so empty and broken that John's heart shattered at the sight, "You said you were _on my side_."

It was too late when John realized he'd broken the most important rule Peter had laid out for him.

"Felix, I'm sorry!" John shouted, gasping as Felix pushed him away. He took John's coat hastily from his chair and fled. Before John could even stand, Felix had already made his way out the door.

"John!" Wendy shouted, running to his room and surprised to see Felix gone, "What happened?"

John's eyes flickered from the bed to his siblings, his breath starting to turn heavy and quick when he realized what he had done, "I screwed up," John wanted to blame Malcolm, wanted to blame his deliberately infuriating actions towards Felix meant to provoke him into screwing up. John knew there was no one to blame but himself, just like his first and only date with Felix ending in misery because he couldn't keep his mouth shut about Peter.

"Call Peter," John muttered, running out the door shortly after but unable to find Felix.  


"Weren't you listening to me!" Peter barked, throwing a punch into John's stomach. Michael barely stopped himself from leaping to his brother's side, "I told you not to judge him!"

John choked out a breath, crumpling over the side of a couch, "I'm sorry! I couldn't help it. Everything he said was just so infuriating. Malcolm told him that it wasn't rape as long as they were lovers. He made Felix think that it was just rough sex. What if he's been abusing him this whole time and using that as an excuse?"

Peter growled, nearly knocking over an expensive lamp as he circled around the living room, "Should've never trusted a Darling with this. _Of course_ that's what my father's been doing this whole time," John's stomach twisted at the confirmation, "That's why we needed to get Felix away. And you fucked up my whole plan," Malcolm won this round, knowing his actions would be enough to provoke John into doing something stupid.

"I drove around the block. I didn't see him," Wendy said as she entered the living room, "He must've taken the bus," She locked eyes with Peter for just a second before tearing away shamefully, "Do you know where he could've gone?"

Peter paced back and forth, trying to recall anywhere that was special to Felix. All he could think of was The Rabbit Hole but that was too obvious a place to hide if he was trying to get away from John. In the worst possible scenario, he would've went back to Malcolm's home, "I gave you one task," Peter grumbled, "And you couldn't even get that right."

" _Shut up_. This is your fault," John growled, standing up tall and purposely towering over Peter, "If I knew Malcolm would rape Felix in retaliation, I would've _never_ agreed to this."

"I didn't know he would do that," Peter replied.

John's eyes narrowed, "He's _your_ father. How could you not have known?"

"What are you accusing me of?" Peter growled, fists clenched, shoulders back, teeth bared, "Are you saying I wanted Felix to get raped? Do you think I want that? _I love him more than you love him!_ "

"SHUT UP!" Michael exclaimed, "Shut up! Shut up! Everybody shut up!" At the middle Darling's declarations, everyone in the room promptly did exactly as he commanded, "You're all letting yourselves get distracted! Might I remind you that Felix is still out there? So this whole plan of yours is going to be moot if you don't go out there and find him!" Michael threw himself back on a couch, slumping across it limply.

Wendy sighed, patting Michael's head, "Michael's right. Let's go find Felix."

"Wendy, you don't have to," John said.

"It's fine," Wendy replied, "I want to help. I can drive John around town. Michael can take Peter."

Michael groaned inwardly, " _Fantastic_ ," He glanced over to Peter, waiting for his prompt, "Where to?"

Peter sat down on the closest armchair, resting his elbows onto his knees and thinking, "Wendy and John should call up the Lost Boys, see if any of them have heard from Felix. Michael and I, we're going to see my father."

Michael took a deep breath, leaping to his feet and heading to the coffee table to retrieve his car keys, "Hey…" Peter looked to Michael, confused, "Where are my car keys?" They looked at each other briefly before realizing how Felix got away so quickly, "Oh come on! I'm not even involved in this."

 

"If your father takes out his anger on this car, you realize my father might kill him, right?" Michael said as he drove his father's Lamborghini down the street, "On second thought, maybe I shouldn't have said anything to you."

"Shut up," Peter grumbled, staring out the window, "Not in the mood."

Michael rolled his eyes at Peter's rudeness, "What are you angry at me for? I'm helping you out here."

"Stop the car," Peter declared.

Following his instruction before turning into his father's street, Michael pulled the car along the sidewalk, "What? What is it?"

"If Felix _isn't_ there, I don't want Malcolm finding out that he ran off. I'm going to pretend like I'm just visiting him so I can't have you at the driveway. Get it?" Peter explained, sliding out of the car and shutting the door before Michael even responded.

Michael rolled his eyes once more, pulling out the keys and reclining in his seat, "Whatever."

Peter didn't bother with ringing the doorbell, taking out his keys and attempting to unlock the door only for his keys to not fit. _Bastard changed the lock_. Growling, Peter kicked at the door harshly, watching it thrash and nearly break out from the cheap wooden frame.

" _Peter_ ," Malcolm greeted in a sickly sweet tone as he opened his door, "What a pleasant surprise."

"I need to talk with Felix," Peter said, coldly.

"Felix doesn't want to talk to you right now," Malcolm replied, folding his arms. Peter instantly felt a pang of happiness in his heart. _He found him_ , "He never wants to talk to you ever again," He grabbed his son's wrists when Peter tried to shove him away, wrestling with them in the air, "Ah, ah, ah, naughty Peter. You can't just solve everything with violence."

No matter how strong Peter got, how much older he was, his father would somehow always dwarf him in strength and presence. Growling like a restrained animal, Peter continued wrestling with his father, trying to throw his hands off and get around him, "Felix!" He cried out, peering up the stairs to see the bedroom door closed, "Please, I just want to talk."

"There's nothing to say," Malcolm whispered poisonously, "You've already done too much to him. He'll never forgive you now."

"Says the man who _raped_ him," Peter growled, kneeing Malcolm between the legs and shoving the older man to the floor.

Finally breaking away and desperate to get to Felix before Malcolm caught him, Peter rushed up the stairs at full speed, nearly slipping into the door as he grabbed the knob and shoved it open, "Felix!" He shouted, surprised when he found the room _empty_ , "Felix?" He whimpered out, unable to accept that he let his father deceive him so easily.

Arms coiled around his waist, pulling him flush against the body behind him while a sinister tongue cooed into his ear, "So how'd you know what transpired between us, hm? Felix came to _you_ , didn't he? No, of course he didn't," He grabbed Peter's chin, holding his son in place with a bruising touch as he tickled his ear with his breath, "He went to John. And John scared him off just as I knew he always would so John called in the mastermind behind his game."

Snarling a curse under his breath, Peter shoved Malcolm away and wiped the man's breath off his neck. He made for the stairs, ignoring everything that Malcolm spat at him, "Thanks for telling me that he ran off. I'll pick him up as soon as possible," His words successfully froze Peter. Snickering, Malcolm came up behind his son and lowered his voice to a murmur as he spoke, "And once I get him back, I won't _ever_ let him go. And I'll take a picture for you to see."

Peter _fled_ from his home, moving so quickly back to Michael's car that he was barely aware of his surroundings. He leapt into the navigator's seat, slamming the door behind him so hard that the whole car shook.

"Whoa, hey, what happened?" Michael was startled by how frightened Peter looked. He was always exuding confidence with every word and this frightful little boy was utterly contradictive of Michael's image of Peter, "Was Felix there?"

Peter shook his head, fear dissolving into his trademark confidence, "My father knows where he is."

"Did he tell you?" Michael asked, starting his car.

"No. But Felix probably went somewhere with happy memories, somewhere my father probably brought him to win him over," Peter lowered himself when he noticed his father's car driving past them, " _Follow him_."

Michael didn't protest or joke around, never seeing Peter so rumpled and unsure of himself. For a brief moment, Peter actually seemed _likable_ when he cast off everything that made him just like his father. To Peter's surprise, Michael was surprisingly good at tailing someone without being too obvious, keeping several cars behind without ever losing sight of the target.

"Not bad," Peter eventually commented.

"First compliment I've ever heard from you. I'm flattered," Michael replied semi-sarcastically, turning into the first street on the right and finding himself in a busy parking lot, "Wait, this is the amusement park."

Peter would not he predicted this but was not surprised when Michael pulled in. This place held many childhood memories for both of them and it would be Malcolm's goal to pollute each and every one of them.

Agreeing to split up the search, Peter entered the park while Michael remained in the parking lot, searching the sea of cars for his own. Peter moved through the crowds thinned out by the winter cold but not enough to allow him to pick out familiar faces. _What did Felix like to eat here? Which place did he have the most fun?_ It drove Peter mad that he had no idea. He was Felix's best friend, how could he have treated him so flippantly? He couldn't even remember which ride was Felix's favourite. Peter loved the Ferris Wheel because it took him up so close to the sky. Did Felix like it too?

Was it too late to make it up to Felix?

Peter sniffled before he was aware, feeling something stinging in the back of his eyes but refusing to acknowledge it. He'd find Felix. He'd make everything right. _He had to._

Something tapped against his head. Opening his eyes, he noticed a scrawny kid standing right beside him, offering him a balloon. Peter almost shooed the kid till the balloon floated into sight: _Green_. He hadn't seen an amusement park balloon in ages. As he took it from the boy, the string biting slightly into his hand, Peter found himself recalling _that day_ , the very first time he took Felix out. Felix was so scrawny, Peter thought he'd be trampled away by a passing crowd so he kept a hold on his hand so he wouldn't be swept away. He gave Felix a balloon, the first gift Felix had ever received in his life, and he'd never seen any boy so happy.

He stared at the balloon, watching it bob around in the air tossed by the wind. _Green_ , he never even bothered asking what Felix's favourite colour was but Felix knew by heart to always separate the green M&Ms just for Peter.

 _Felix hated crowds._ That much Peter remembered, seeing the boy cower on the grass when he thought Peter had abandoned him. _That's why I brought him to the haunted house, because only a few people could enter at a time_. His eyes drifted to the attraction a few paths away, its telltale spire towering over the other rides. It slowly came back to him, the balloon in his hand acting as the perfect catalyst for his memories.

There was something else Felix always wanted to do, something that Peter _hated_ but Felix always begged him to go. He gasped, remembering how his father only declined because Peter began throwing a tantrum right in the middle of the park. He turned on his heels and ran towards the performance sector of the park. He pushed open the doors into the empty dinner play theatre, "Felix!" He called out, voice echoing in the open space. There were few people around, mostly just visitors looking for a quiet place to sit.

The only person who caught his eye was _Malcolm_ standing near the middle, glaring at Peter from afar. From the look on his face, he had fully expected Felix to be here and was utterly offended when he wasn't. He glowered at Peter, rushing at him from the aisle. Peter immediately turned and fled, barely making it out of the theatre before Malcolm took him by the arm and jerked him back.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Malcolm snarled, clearly pissed that Felix was not where he expected.

"Why am I not surprised you brought him here?" Peter said, "Your fetish for children is getting out of hand," He didn't even flinch when Malcolm slapped him across the face, "Don't take it out on me just because _being with you_ isn't Felix's most precious memory."

Malcolm clicked his tongue and backed off, noticing a few parents pull their children's close when they approached him, "How did you know he'd be here?"

"Felix loved dinner shows. You think you're the only one who knew?"

Groaning in disgust, Malcolm shoved past Peter and returned to his search. The older man was so sure Felix would be here, he wouldn't even bother trying to look elsewhere. This gave Peter solace, especially when Michael messaged him shortly after stating that he hadn't seen his car in the parking lot. There was still hope. _As long as Malcolm didn't get to him first._

 

The sun had nearly fallen. Michael had returned to work, having left in the middle to take care of Felix had left him with much to do and left Peter without a ride. Peter wandered into Granny's, checking up on John and Wendy's status.

"The Lost Boys haven't heard from him," John said over the phone, "We asked Granny, Hal, Dr. Whale, none of them have seen Felix around. I've asked a few colleagues around town to keep an eye out for him."

Wherever Felix was, he wasn't anywhere with people around.

Peter hung up and put his phone away, sweeping a hand through his hair. He'd stressed himself out so much looking for Felix, he could've sworn he'd go bald. The only good thing he got out of Malcolm was his ability to avoid male patterned baldness. Not a soul had seen Felix. This was not a big town so he couldn't understand how this was possible.

"Thanks," Peter said as Ruby brought over a mug of hot chocolate.

He'd been walking around town the whole day, his hands were absolutely freezing. He took the cup, sighing with relief as the heat permeated his skin and warmed him. He should've picked up a hot chocolate earlier; it would've gave him much more relief than wandering around in the winter cold with nothing but a jacket and scarf.

_Wandering around in the winter cold…_

Peter stared at the steam rising from the mug, eyes narrowing as he peered out at the condensation on the window. No one would be out in this cold. Everyone would've been inside or in their cars. _Felix was outside_ , somewhere outside that no one would visit in the winter, _somewhere precious to him._

A gasp, a quick order of a hot chocolate to go, and Peter ran off to find Felix.

By the time the bus had arrived and made its way down, the sun was but a golden sliver on the horizon of the grey waters. Even with the hot chocolate and his jacket, Peter was starting to freeze. He climbed down the wooden stairs, stepping onto the sand and feeling it crunch under his feet along with the snow that was dusted over it.

It was dark but he could make it out: A sand castle's silhouette against the slight sunny glow, _four towers_ attached by walls, and a single, shrouded figure sitting in the middle. Peter's breath was caught in his throat. He contemplated calling John but couldn't spare the time. He walked over slowly, Felix hugging his knees and draped in John's jacket becoming clear.

"… _Felix_?" Peter asked, waiting outside his sand castle.

Felix flinched, proving that he was alive and not frozen to death outside. He didn't respond though, remaining absolutely still in his sand castle. He didn’t protest when Peter stepped into his sand castle, lowering himself onto his knees and handing him a hot chocolate. His fingers were trembling as he took it, clutching it close and breathing quick.

"How long have you been out here?" Peter asked. Felix shrugged, the setting sun was his only gauge on the time. Taking off his scarf, he wound it around Felix's neck. He knew if his former friend wasn't so cold, he would've rejected the scarf immediately, "It's a nice castle. Fit for a king."

Felix's lips turned up slightly at the remark, "You're sitting on the coliseum."

Peter snickered, moving closer to Felix so he wouldn't be half-perched on the circular structure, "Did John call you?"

"He said he pissed you off and you ran away," Peter explained, careful not to let Felix know his involvement, "He figured I'd know where you went."

"You did," Felix murmured, sipping the hot chocolate and letting the heat spread as he swallowed, "Just wanted to be alone for a bit."

"Couldn't you have done that somewhere indoors?" Peter remarked, brow quirking, "You're going to freeze out here if you stay any longer. Come on, let's go home."

"I don't have a home," Felix said, eyes drifting to the sand, "I moved in with Malcolm."

"Then come home with me."

The hot chocolate fell from Felix's hands, slipping past his trembling fingers and spilling all over the far wall of his castle. He turned to Peter, eyes frantic and unsure. He had no where else to go but he didn't want to make another _mistake_.

Peter took his hands, pressing them together so he could warm them. He didn't need to speak, beckoning Felix to follow him with just his eyes. He led him back to Michael's car, finding it parked close by under a few trees. A fine layer of snow covered it, prompting Peter with exactly how long Felix had stayed at the beach. Brushing him off, Peter slid Felix into the back and laid him down as he blasted the heat over both of them.

"I can drive," Felix suggested past chattering teeth.

"I've got this. Can't be that hard if Michael can do it," Peter commented, adjusting the mirror to smirk at Felix before releasing the handbrake and pulling out.

One dangerous car ride after, Peter had somehow managed to find a parking spot that was completely empty, reducing all risk of scraping against a neighbour but still managing to bump the light post behind him. Felix gave a small chuckle at Peter's attempt, having warmed up during the ride and sliding out from the side. He frowned when he realized where they were, the rustic apartment and its off-white walls always familiar.

"I don't live here anymore," Felix said as he followed Peter up the stairs.

"I know," Peter replied, taking out the keys from his pocket and jingling them in front of Felix, "I do," Felix was gobsmacked, rendered still as he watched Peter unlock the door and enter his old apartment, "I always liked this place. Figured I'd move in after you left," He looked over to Felix who remained outside the room, " _Come on._ "

Taking Felix's hand, he guided his former friend in, stripping off his freezing jacket and positioning him in front of the space heater. He slid open his closet, sorting through the boxes in the back, "I still have some of the clothes you left behind at my old apartment," He said, digging through a storage box and producing a thick black sweater and a pair of jeans, "Have you eaten today? I can order a pizza or something."

"Why are you doing this?"

Peter turned slowly, clutching at Felix's clothes which were neatly folded from where he had put them, "I want to help you out," He stepped forward when Felix's expression suddenly soured, " _I know._ I know you're still angry. And I'm not trying to make all your decisions for you," He kneeled on the floor in front of him, beckoning Felix to look at him, "I just want to give you a place to stay while you… work things out."

Felix didn't have the strength to argue. Peter attributed that to why he didn't fight back. Felix took the clothes from Peter's hands stepping into the bathroom to change while Peter remained outside, texting John that he had found Felix and they could end the search.

_'Is he okay? Michael is asking about his car'_

_'both are fine. cant talk. Felix is coming out'_

Peter closed the text message app on his phone, smiling to Felix as he stepped out of the bathroom and threw his sandy clothes into the laundry hamper, "How about something to eat?"

"Pizza's fine," Felix said, sitting back in front of the space heater to warm his hands.

To fill the air with noise, Peter turned on the TV, flipping it to whatever movie he could find, somehow landing on a Christmas special, "Ugh," Peter groaned. It was _way_ too early to be playing Christmas specials but this was the only thing he could recognize, "Why does Christmas have to have the worst specials ever?"

Felix snorted at the remark, concentrating more on the filaments of the space heater than the saccharine jingles on screen, "They're not bad. I like Rudolph. I can relate to him."

"What? Your nose glows red too?" Peter quipped, immediately ducking a pillow to his face, "Rudolph is not bad. I guess Rise of the Guardians is pretty good too."

Felix chuckled, "That's not a Christmas movie."

"Close enough, Santa's in it," Peter replied, folding his arms.

"He's not even the main character. Jack Frost is," Felix said, smiling at bit. He recalled the first time he watched the movie with Peter and how awkwardly jealous Peter was when Felix jokingly called Jack dreamy, "I still think he's dreamy."

Peter scoffed loudly, kicking up his blanket, "I've seen better in the mirror."

"The _mirror_ mirror or that tabloid paper that always slanders the deputy?"

"Oh yeah, because Sydney Glass is _sooo_ dreamy."

Felix smirked, looking over to Peter with a coy smile, "Better than what you see in your mirror," He let the pillow strike him on the shoulder, "Ow."

The doorbell interrupted them, no doubt the pizza was here. Peter broke off from their conversation and retrieved their food, setting it out on a stool. Felix was unsurprised when he saw the multitude of green peppers all over the pizza.

"Of course," He remarked, picking out a slice.

It took Peter everything to hold himself back, to keep him from scaring Felix off. He wanted to touch him, _hold him_ , but all he could do was brush a finger against him whenever they reached for a slice of pizza simultaneously. And when the pizza was all gone, Felix seated himself at the far side of the bed while Peter took the opposite corner.

Distracting himself, Peter took a few spare blankets out from his closet and laid it across the floor beside the bed, creating a makeshift mattress to rest on. Felix stared at him, confused at first before walking over to him and kneeling on the blankets.

"You can take the bed," Peter said, looking up at Felix who obediently gravitated towards the blankets, "It's closer to the space heater and I'm not the one who spent this whole day sitting in the cold," A soft pressure against his lips, his breath stolen, cool hands ghosting over his face, his heart _beating_ for the what felt like the first time in his life. By the time Peter realized what was happening, he just barely kissed back before Felix pulled away, stumbling off the blankets and returning to his corner with the space heater.

"I shouldn't have done that," Felix mumbled, " _God_ , what am I doing?" First Malcolm, then John, now Peter, Felix didn't know he was so _desperate_ till today.

Peter followed him up, approaching him but finding himself too afraid to get closer, "It's alright. You were just stressed out, hadn't eaten till now, it was just an impulse."

" _It wasn't_ ," Felix said, turning to Peter and shattering Peter's resolve when he saw his beloved friend so crippled by fear, "I knew you were helping John. What are the odds that John just wanders into my life after I had a falling out with you? Malcolm told me you were trying to hurt me through him but I didn't care. _I just wanted to be closer to you._ I still-"

_Still?_

Peter nearly ran to him, hands coming up to cup his face. He stopped suddenly, pulling back when Felix jerked away and backed up into the wall. He tried hard not to let the heartbreak bleed through.

"I can't!" Felix shouted, gripping onto the windowsill so hard that his knuckles turn white, "I can't," He repeated, shaking his head and begging that Peter would come any closer.

"Why?"

Felix's arms came around himself, rubbing at his elbows, _colder_ than he ever was today, "You had me for fifteen years and you still left me. I don't want to be _abandoned again_ ," He looked to Peter weakly, shoulders trembling, "Malcolm will never leave me. I know he won't," No matter what Malcolm would put him through, the older man would always come grovelling to his feet because he had no one else too.

"Go to John," Peter said, "John will never leave you. He'll treat you well too. He only argues with you because of me and my father. And, he's already got a long-term career, fortune, he doesn't need to use you like I did," He took out his phone, ready to call John and disappear into Michael's car for the night.

Felix stopped him, a hand over his phone and pulling it down, "John's a good person but I don't love him. Malcolm's right. I don't belong in John's world."

Not him, not John, neither of them would make Felix happy. That left only one person.

" _Do you want me to call my father?_ " Peter asked, mouth going dry when Felix hesitated, "If he makes you happy, I'll do it," It would kill Peter in the process knowing that Felix would rather take refuge with a man who raped him over Peter, a man who would never leave Felix, never break his heart in a way Felix couldn't recover from, but more than willing to break his heart in other ways.

Felix extended his hand for the phone and Peter nearly hurled it out the window. Reluctantly, he placed it in Felix's hands, lingering too long before pulling away. Felix knew Peter was unhappy, his heart ached when Peter was unhappy, but Malcolm was his lover, for better or for worse, and Malcolm would never leave him which was a step up from what Peter had offered.

A gasp came from Felix as he swiped his thumb across the screen, seeing a picture of him disgruntled and shoving at an off-screen Peter, eyes smudged with eyeliner Peter had stolen from Wendy, "Is this…"

"That time we went to the Darling cottage?" Peter snickered at the memory, "Yep. You remember what John's face was like when he saw you like that?"

Felix let out a huff of laughter, "Nearly had a heart attack," He scrolled through Peter's contacts, quickly noting 'Arsehole Father' as Malcolm's contact name, "Very colourful."

"I say it as it is," Peter replied, smirking to hide his sadness. He cringed as Felix tapped the name twice and held it to his ear, that brief moment before the call made through was the only time Peter had left, "I wasn't trying to save you," He choked out, trying not to smile when Felix looked his way, "That's what I told John but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to love you _through_ John. A-And I know I wronged John but I did it because-"

A click came from the phone, "Hello?"

Felix remained silent, staring at Peter but hearing Malcolm's voice.

Peter shut his mouth, swallowing nervously, eyes glued on the phone.

" _Felix_?" The voice on the phone called out.

_Peter wanted to cry._

And Felix couldn't stand it.

" _Peter…_ " Felix choked out, hands trembling from fear or excitement; his breath became shallow, his heart stopped as he hung up the phone and tossed it onto the bed. Peter's mouth dropped open, staring at Felix and nearly falling to his knees, overwhelmed by the passion that finally returned to Felix's eyes. He almost ran at Peter, desperate to hold him and make things right again.

Peter met him halfway, stumbling over the blankets he laid down and falling into Felix's arms ungracefully. Felix chuckled a bit, resting his forehead against Peter's when he lifted his head, "What's the hurry?" Felix said lazily, confidence returning to his voice as Peter squeezed his cheeks together.

" _Shut up and kiss me_ ," Peter growled, crushing their lips together and finally feeling complete for the first time since he proposed to Wendy on Felix's birthday.

Felix returned the kiss, one hand resting on Peter's hip and the other weaving through his hair. Peter's hands remained around his face, cupping it and stroking at his cheeks playfully with his thumbs. Refusing to let Felix have the upper hand even now, Peter deepened the kiss by lapping at Felix's lips, waiting for Felix to part his lips and welcome him in. _Moaning_ , more pleasurable than Malcolm could have ever made it, Felix wrestled Peter's tongue with his own, eyes slipping open for just a moment to see the needy expression on Peter's face.

When they finally pulled away for air, Peter draped himself over Felix's shoulder, hands slipping off his face so they could grip onto the back of his shirt and pull him in tight, "I will never let you go."

An absent smile on his face, Felix returned Peter's hug and somehow compressed him even tighter against his body, "I won't either."

"Well, I'm doing it more."

Felix hummed playfully, tilting his head to the side as he lifted one hand to stroke Peter's cheek, noting the still round, soft skin, youthful despite their similar ages, "No crying. Remember?"

Peter nodded, realizing that despite their distance, Felix could still read all of his emotions clearly but most of all, Felix still _cared_. If Peter had been a weaker man, that thought may have drove him to tears on its own. Instead, Peter pulled Felix in by his collar and smothered his desperate tears with a second kiss.

 

Right on time, Peter opened the door, greeting both Darling brothers.

"Keys," Michael declared, lifting his hand and gesturing for them.

Peter rolled his eyes, half-expecting the reaction and half-amused by it. He took the keys from his coat pocket, waving John into the apartment while he led Michael to the parking lot.

Taking his prompt, John stepped into the apartment and approached Felix who remained standing by the bed, "Hey," He murmured shyly, "I'm sorry I got into a fight with you. You were hurting and I had no right to do that."

"No, you were right," Felix said, "Malcolm is a bad person. I just _didn't want to be alone_ ," He sighed, rubbing at the back of his arm nervously, "I knew you were working with Peter. And, I used you so I could be closer to him," He knew his words were breaking John's heart even if the eldest Darling didn't react, "I'm sorry."

A hand came up and caressed his cheek, "Don't be," John said, "I used you too, didn't I? After your fight with Peter, I took advantage of you," The smile on his face was filled with sorrow, "As long as you're happy, I'll support whoever you choose. And if you ever need someone to fall back on, _I'll be there._ I'll always be there for you."

"Call me sometime," Felix said, knowing that his request would be a tall order, "Let's go watch that slasher movie," John smiled and nodded but Felix couldn't tell if it was sincere or a cover.

John hadn't the boldness to kiss Felix's lips knowing that Peter must've just a moment ago. He opted for Felix's forehead instead, tilting his head down and chastely pecking at his brow. The smile remained on his face for as long as it could until he turned away, his smile dissolving instantly as _heartbreak_ overtook him. He let himself be used; he had no one to blame but himself.

Arms came around his chest, securing John in place. He couldn't look back, couldn't let Felix see him, "Thank you for saving me," Felix whispered, holding him and doing his best to keep his heart intact.

To fall madly in love and get nothing in return, if anyone knew Felix's pain best, it would be John, _not Malcolm._ Turning around, John embraced Felix one last time. At least for these few seconds before he returned home, John could pretend like he _won_.

"You're a scumbag, you know that?" Michael said, sipping at a can of coke as he leaned against his car, "Preying on both my siblings. Don't think you'll ever pull anything over me."

Peter shrugged, "Who knows."

"Shut up, don't try to make small talk," Michael snapped, emptying the can before tossing it in a nearby trash bin, "In my eyes, you'll only be slightly better than your father. _Just_ slightly."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Peter replied, wrinkling his nose in a bratty way when Michael rolled his eyes.

"Scratched my car too," Michael grumbled, circling around to check the tail again, "That better have not been intentional."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Peter replied, smirking again as Michael flipped him off.

Michael grumbled to himself as he came back around the front, eventually noticing his brother approaching them, "John!"

John smiled to Michael, too broad a grin to be genuine, "Let's go home."

Michael knew his brother was in pain but knew he shouldn't mention it. Instead, he nodded to him with an equally broad and deceptive smile as he slid into the driver's seat.

John circled around, nodding a goodbye to Peter before resting a hand on his shoulder firmly, "Treat him well. Or else," Eyes and voice dark for just a moment before he pulled away and slid into the passenger seat.

Peter stood by the light post as Michael pulled out and drove off, eyes locking with John's for one last moment before waving. He owed John more than he could imagine and he only wished he had less arrogance to admit it. When the Darlings were gone, Peter returned to the apartment, smiling enthusiastically when he saw Felix stretched out on the bed in a pair of boxer shorts and a stray, oversized shirt he had found in the closet.

Felix looked up at Peter, an almost ethereally happy look on his face, "I never thought this day would happen."

For a brief moment in Peter's life, he thought the same. But not anymore and Peter refused to look back as he tossed off his heavy clothes and crawled under the blankets with Felix. Not yet bold enough to pleasure him but pretty damn close as he snuggled against his side.

Felix smiled weakly as he rolled to his side and pulled Peter into his arms, purposely burrowing his face into Peter's fine brunette hair, "You smell like green M&Ms."

"They're part of a healthy diet," Peter replied, bundling the two of them up and shutting his eyes, "Now shush you. I want to hear your heartbeat while I sleep."

A kind smile spread across Felix's face as he said something he hadn't said in months, " _Yes, Peter_."

 

_"He's a thief!" One child shouted, pointing accusingly at Felix who stood at the front of the class._

_"He took it!"_

_"Thief!"_

_Felix gripped at the hem of his shirt, bunching it in his hands and whimpering as his classmates continued to berate him, "I didn't do it," He mumbled, staring at the imposing child before him sitting at his desk with a rude expression._

_"I saw him sneak into the classroom!" One girl shouted, standing up at her desk, "He took Cory's lunch money!"_

_"Give it back!" Another kid shouted, excited by the commotion around him and pointing an accusing finger at him._

_"I don't want to be friends with a thief!"_

_"Give it back!"_

_The crowd of students turned into a riot, all of them shouting and jabbing their fingers towards Felix, fueled by an illusion of justice. Felix wanted to cry but he knew he'd be given in if he did. He hung his head, knuckles white from how hard the clutched his shirt._

_"Everyone!" Miss Blanchard shouted, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention and silence the building riot, "Quiet please!" She approached Felix, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Felix is not a bad kid," She knelt down to him, the sweetest smile on her face as she spoke, "He just made a mistake. And that's alright," She nudged Felix forward, completely innocent in her actions that all but condemned Felix, "Apologize to Cory and we'll forgive you."_

_Felix didn’t do it. He really didn't._

_"Here's your stupid money!" A handful of change was thrown in Cory's direction, pelting him, "And here's more if you're not happy," Another handful came his way, purposely scattering on the floor and over the other students._

_"Peter!" Miss Blanchard exclaimed, "What are you doing?"_

_Peter stepped up onto his chair, "I took his money because Cory's too stupid to put it away when he goes to the bathroom."_

_"Go to the principal's office. That is unacceptable behaviour," Miss Blanchard commanded, almost offended when Peter marched past her with the utmost confidence. Spirits lifted, a smile glowing on his face, Felix chased after Peter, "Felix, go back to your desk."_

_Whipping around, Felix stuck his tongue at the teacher and kicked over the art work display board before giggling with Peter and dashing out after him. When Felix's short legs couldn't keep up, Peter took him by the hand and helped him forward, both of them leaving the building and running around on the open field._

_"Did you really take Cory's money?" Felix asked as he collapsed onto a thick patch of grass._

_Peter giggled haplessly at the question, spreading out his limbs and staring at the clouds, "Simon took it."_

 

As the sun barely bled through the curtains, there was a bizarre chill in the air that left Felix wondering if he had accidentally turned the space heater off. He shivered a bit, hugging Peter closer to his chest when the chill wouldn't leave. He purred lightly as something lightly tickled his cheek like a feather fluttering down over him. The touch continued till Felix could make out fingers petting at his skin lovingly.

" _Peter_ ," Felix whispered, kissing at the fingertips when they ghosted over his lips.

A second later, the featherlike touches became _harsh_ , fingers slapping across his mouth and twisting him onto his back and away from Peter. Felix's protests were muffled by the hand, his right wrist restrained beside his head while his other hand was squished under Peter. His eyes snapped open, seeing _Malcolm_ and his heart almost stopping.

"Shhhh," Malcolm shushed as he closed in, hand clasping Felix's mouth tighter to prevent him from waking Peter, "All I want is to talk."

From the malicious look in his eyes, his lips nearly twisting into a snarl despite his soft words, Felix knew Malcolm did not want to talk at all. Struggling against Malcolm's hand, Felix shook his head. He wasn't going anywhere and he'd wake Peter if Malcolm didn't leave right away.

Eyes glinting for just a moment, Malcolm snapped his thumb down on Felix's nose, crushing it between his thumb and his index finger, _suffocating him_. Felix squealed under his hand and started thrashing lightly in bed, both arms restrained by either Pan. Just before his lungs began to burn, Malcolm lifted his thumb, letting Felix draw a deep breath through his nose. His eyes flickered over to Peter, noticing that he was still asleep. He knew Peter had lost rest over these last few nights, worrying about Felix's relationship, but he couldn't help but beg that Peter wasn't so exhausted.

"I just want to talk," Malcolm whispered, eyes wild and dilated. When Felix didn’t respond, Malcolm's attention flickered to Peter with something much darker than lust clouding his eyes. For reasons beyond him, that single gesture absolutely horrified Felix. He hummed under Malcolm's hand, immediately calling back his attention, "Are you ready to talk?"

Felix hummed again, nodding slowly and begging that Malcolm wouldn't turn his attention back on Peter.

Malcolm smiled gleefully, looking too innocent despite his awful deeds. He released Felix's wrist but not his mouth, watching as Felix slowly rolled Peter onto his side before lifting his hand to let Felix sit up, "Good boy," Malcolm commented, watching Felix tuck Peter in before reaching for his clothes on the floor, "Ah, ah," Malcolm took Felix by the shoulder and pulled him back, " _This_ is fine."

In nothing but shorts and a loose shirt, Felix let Malcolm shepherd him out of the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him and locking it with the duplicate key he had made long ago. Peter had never bothered changing his lock, figuring that Felix always let Malcolm in voluntarily. At the break of dawn, no one was wandering about and wondering why Felix was about to step into the cold without shoes or the proper clothes.

Shivering worse than he had yesterday, Felix stumbled along the snowy parking lot, stubbing his feet on the sharp ice and pebbles before scuttling into Malcolm's car willingly just to keep his feet off the harsh winter ground. Malcolm slid in beside him like nothing was out of the ordinary, turning up the heat and pulling Felix's hands towards the vent before starting his car and driving off with the early country radio on.

Despite having the heat on, the car hadn't gotten any warmer. Felix wondered if that was part of Malcolm ploy, his violent shivering paralyzing him. He almost missed the 'Leaving Storybrooke' sign that flashed past them, "Wha… where are we going?" Felix asked through chattering teeth.

"We're just going somewhere private to talk," Malcolm replied, turning into the woods and slowly driving over the dirt and snow.

In the middle of the woods with no one for miles, snow already covering their tracks, this was the most private spot Malcolm could have found. He stopped the car, keeping his keys in the ignition so he could keep the heater on. He lowered the handbrake, turning to Felix with a coy smile.

"Sit in the back," He commanded.

Felix swallowed, knowing what would happen if he slid into the back, "I prefer to talk here," He jolted as Malcolm pulled the lever on the back of Felix's, reclining it till he was nearly lying down.

"Sit in the back," Malcolm commanded, watching Felix with unblinking eyes until he crept over the reclined seat and slid into the backseat. Smiling, Malcolm stepped out of the car and slid into the backseat traditionally, "Thank you, love."

Felix didn't react, pulling Malcolm's jacket from the front seat and draping it around himself. He wouldn't sit near Malcolm no matter how much he pat the seat beside him, "Start talking," Felix muttered.

"Sit closer first," Malcolm replied, "I can warm you if you sit closer."

Felix growled in his throat, "I'm warm enough," He shuddered as Malcolm caressed his cheek, turning him to face him. Felix refused to look at the scoundrel, eyes darting to the floor when Malcolm held his jaw still.

"I was worried about you. I thought you might've gotten hurt last night," Malcolm said, "I lost control and I hurt you in a way you should never forgive," Felix shuddered at his words, eyes flickering to Malcolm for a second before darting away, nearly hypnotized by the softness, " _I love you_. And if you still want to be with me, It'll never happen again. I promise."

Cautiously, Felix's eyes moved up his body, trying to delay having to look at his face and be taken away by the kindness that only Malcolm seemed to exude. When their eyes met and Felix's stony expression faltered, Malcolm pulled Felix into his arms and hugged him tight, the heat of his body feeling like a furnace as he warmed Felix's chilly flesh.

"Report me to the cops, take all of my money, do anything you want, _but please don't leave me_ ," Malcolm gasped out, letting Felix feel his heart pattering urgently. He only held Felix tighter when the boy didn't respond, "I don't want to be alone anymore. I need you."

"Malcolm," Felix whispered, gripping into Malcolm's collar, "Being with you…" He _shoved_ Malcolm back harshly, " _…Was miserable,_ " Malcolm was absolutely still but Felix wasn't sure what it meant, "You didn't let me out of the house. You followed me everywhere. You went through all my stuff. And every time I questioned you about anything, you punished me by _fucking me_ into submission or you'd _guilt_ me into thinking I was wrong," The days were clear now that Felix was no longer weighted down by Peter's betrayal, "I had no freedom with you. It was miserable but I had no where else to go."

Malcolm was shaking his head, brows knitted together and eyes weak, "What about everything we've done? Your first time? We did things together and they made you happy, didn't they?"

Felix could remember it now. He remembered being held down, being tossed and twisted in the sheets to suit Malcolm's position. He remembered the pain of being penetrated too quickly and too harshly, begging Malcolm to slow down and being denied over and over, "I always hated it when we fucked. All you did was rut against me like a dog, never using enough lube. It was _disgusting_ ," Felix growled, "Drive me back before I report you for rape and _kidnapping_."

Malcolm's eyes hardened and all of Felix's bravery dissipated, replaced by a rumbling fear deep within his heart, " _We're not going back_ ," Malcolm hissed, "We're leaving Storybrooke. I've brought everything we'll need in the trunk."

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Felix shouted, begging that he didn't stutter as he spoke.

" _Yes you are_ ," Malcolm replied, a smile suddenly curling on his lips as he tilted his head back smugly and withdrew his laptop from under the driver's seat. He turned it on, flipping open the cover and humming tunelessly as he waited for it to start up, "I had a colleague set this up a while back for my wife. Never got around to using it but I thought it'd be the perfect time to start it up now."

Felix's eyes narrowed, shivering harder as Malcolm booted up his computer and opened a folder ominously labelled 'felix', "What is that?"

"Think of it as a scrapbook with all of our pleasant memories in it," Malcolm replied, scrolling through the multitude of photos.

Felix's eyes were glued on the icons, recognizing each moment whenever Malcolm would snap a photo of him. The earliest one was from their very first time in the night club before either of them knew it would ever escalate this far. He swallowed, seeing photos of the two kissing sweetly or tucked together in bed, feeling sick when he eyed the photos Malcolm had taken when Felix blew him. However, what made his stomach turn were the _videos_ , poorly lit but good enough to see what was going on and who was in bed.

"Wha…wha…" Felix gasped, trembling when Malcolm launched one video, turning up the volume so he could hear himself screaming for more.

"Always hated it? I beg to differ," Malcolm snickered, licking his lips as Felix was turned over on the bed, legs hanging over Malcolm's shoulders with his head thrown back towards the camera, "Look at you, taking it like a champ. I remember the first time we had sex, you barely moved."

Felix glared at Malcolm, realizing that he'd been played right from the beginning, "This was one of our criteria, wasn't it? I said no cameras!"

"I'm old, Felix, you can't expect my memory to hold up on its own," Malcolm chimed. He chuckled when Felix reached for his laptop, immediately yanking it away and holding Felix back by his chest, "It's too late. You can't do anything now."

Felix growled, still trying to reach for the laptop, "So you're going to blackmail me into leaving with you?"

"Of course not, silly," Malcolm replied, "I wanted to use this on my wife when she left me for that bitch in the ice cream store but I never got around to it. Had to deal with my son and 'the family'. But now, I've got all the free time in the world," He closed the folder on his laptop, "I sent our precious scrapbook to _everyone_ in town."

Felix huffed at the remark, lips turning up slightly, "As if."

"Don't believe me?" Malcolm asked, opening up a porno site in his browser, "Look at that, _a thousand views already_."

Angry, disbelieving and in denial, Felix whipped the laptop away from Malcolm as stared at the screen, stomach dropping when he saw _himself_ riding Malcolm's cock with his head thrown back, fingers gripping into Malcolm's chest and tangling in his chest hair, _screaming_ expletives that Felix could barely pronounce remember, " _You…_ " Felix gasped out, trembling with fear, anger, sorrow all at once.

Taking the laptop and shutting it, Malcolm slid it back under the seat before taking Felix's hands and holding him still, "Back when you were just a boy, I thought I'd be able to keep you as long as I kept you from my secrets," He smiled, sniffing at Felix's neck gently when he didn't fight back, "Quite the contrary actually. _I made you a part of my world_. Everyone thinks you're just like me now and no one in Storybrooke will trust you either."

 _The Lost Boys, Hal, the Darling family_ , _Peter,_ his sinful, _toxic affair_ with Malcolm now on full display.

"There's no where for you to go. Who will accept you for loving a _disgraced_ mafioso?" Malcolm cooed, lapping at Felix's neck before nibbling on it, "Nothing to do but leave town, hm?"

Malcolm loved Felix's docility, still too shaken by what Malcolm had done to him. He wrestled Felix down onto the seats, worming his way between his legs to prevent him from closing them as he slipped a hand down his boxer shorts. Felix flinched, the unwanted pleasure waking him from his daze. His hands flew up, grabbing at Malcolm's shoulders and trying to push the man back. He struggled against Malcolm's hands, thrashing madly trying to get away. He couldn't let Malcolm roll him over; he wouldn't be able to get away if he did.

"Stop!" Felix cried out, kicking at the seats but finding no purchase to squirm away from Malcolm.

"Don't act like you don't want this," Malcolm groaned, grinding the front of his jeans against Felix's crotch, "You saw yourself in those videos. You know that no one will ever fuck you better than I will. Not John, not Peter."

 _Peter…?_ Felix's eyes flickered to the laptop and then back at Malcolm, seeing the absolute glee in his eyes as he lifted Felix's shirt to roll his tongue over his chest. He groaned, gripping into Malcolm's hair almost lovingly, " _You're right_ ," He gasped, "I did want it. I wanted it so badly."

Malcolm hummed, still lapping at his chest but attentively listening.

"Because every time we slept together, I'd shut my eyes and _imagine it was Peter_ ," Felix could feel Malcolm stiffening, his grip suddenly bruising, " _Check the videos_. You'll see. My eyes are always closed."

"Bullshit," Malcolm growled.

"I bet you were wondering this morning. Did I sleep with Peter?" Felix let out a shuddering laugh, trying to match Malcolm's stone-cold glare with his own, "Was he _better_ than you? I never had a frame of reference since you were my first and only. That's why I wanted it from you," He lowered his voice to a hiss, careful not to let his _lie_ be too obvious, "But now that I have a reference point, an _old man like you_ feels like absolute shit."

As he expected, Malcolm raised a hand to strike him, giving Felix just enough room to shimmy out and kick Malcolm between the legs. The older man grunted, doubling over as Felix scrambled backwards, opening the door and leaping out all in one motion. He ignored the sting of ice to his feet, eyeing the keys in the ignition through the window.

Felix let out a strangled cry as Malcolm tackled him to the snowy ground, flipping him onto his back and sitting on his chest, pinning one arm beneath him while the other helplessly clawed at Malcolm's leg.

"I won't let him have you," Malcolm growled, "He took everything from me and I'm not letting him take you as well."

" _You lost me yourself._ You should've thought about that before you _raped me_.I'm not your toy!" Felix growled, "I'll _never_ want you. I hate you!" He cried out as Malcolm took hold of his wrist, nearly breaking it under his iron grip, "Whatever you do to me _, I'll go right back to Peter_."

Malcolm scoffed, voice cruel as he spoke, "Even after everything he's done to you? You think he won't abandon you again when something better comes along? I know my son better than you ever will."

"I'll take my chances," Felix growled, "Better him than _you_."

A fist collided with Felix's face, his head twisting to the side violently as his cheek struck the dirt below. He choked out a breath, eyes wide as he suddenly felt _endangered_ , "Mal-" A second fist, the taste of blood as his teeth split the side of his cheek.

" _Tell me you want it_ ," Malcolm snarled, unblinking and still as he lifted his fist and struck Felix again, "I want your _consent_."

Again and _again_ , Malcolm struck Felix relentlessly, breaking his nose, backhanding him, giving him no space to even breathe. The rage Felix saw that day at Granny's and again when John flirted with him, only now did Felix realize how _little_ of Malcolm's true self it reflected. When he could no longer beg, Felix spat out a mouthful of blood and spit, head turning limp against the dirt as the world spun around him.

Malcolm stopped when Felix's hand became limp. He dropped his wrist onto the dirt, staring at the blood staining his knuckles, heartbeat erratic as he wiped it off on his shirt. He couldn't even feel the cold, his rage overloading every sense with raw heat. He swallowed as he examined Felix limp and submissive on the dirt covered in blood.

"I didn't want to do this. _You made me do this_ ," Malcolm's voice was soft as he rolled Felix's shirt back up, "I'll make it up to you. We'll move out together and I'll take care of you," He turned Felix's head gingerly, lips ghosting over Felix's bloodied mouth, "I love you."

Tears were edging at Felix's eyes, knowing that Malcolm would take him in this desolate cold and he could do nothing about it. At the very least, Malcolm would not have his consent. That was his only solace as more tears filled his eyes and poured down his bloodied face.

_"No crying. Remember?"_

Felix's eyes snapped open despite the pain. He saw Peter in his arms, Peter sleeping in bed, _waiting for him to come home._ He looked to the car, noticing the smoke coming from the exhaust pipe before looking back at Malcolm who was occupied with nipping at the mark on his neck. _No way_ , he's not going anywhere with Malcolm. He'd rather die than go anywhere with him.

"I'm sorry, Peter," Felix whispered. _I'm sorry for giving up._ Raising his free arm, he jabbed his thumb into Malcolm's eye. The older man hollered, backing off and clutching at the side of his face. Adrenaline muffling his pain, Felix rolled himself onto his stomach and bolted, stumbling around the car and into the driver's seat. He locked the doors before Malcolm got in, starting the car and driving off as quickly as he could, leaving Malcolm to freeze in the woods.

He didn't have the accuracy to park, his vision still swimming in and out from trauma. Instead, he pulled the car up by the curb, exiting and stumbling towards his apartment. He collapsed on a tree halfway through, catching his breath and readjusting Malcolm's jacket around him. His breath came out in icy clouds, the winter cold cutting into his flesh now that the adrenaline had worn off. His vision darkened, his thoughts melting away as he collapsed onto the field.

" _Felix!_ "

 

_This wasn't fair. He always spent his birthday with Peter. They never had to go to ritzy clubs to have fun. Just a simple night of take-out and action flicks would've sufficed. Instead, Felix found himself in the country club by the university, a completely unknown, uncomfortable world that Felix didn't belong in. A world that was more than happy to brag about its exclusivity to Felix._

_"So, you're Peter's friend?" One girl asked, her hair tied up in neat braids, "I don't see you on campus."_

_Felix shrugged in reply, nursing at the faux cocktail in his hands. He needed alcohol more than anything right now and the party even denied him that._

_"What do you study?"_

_Felix paused, knowing he'd never get away with any lies, "I'm not studying. I'm a bartender."_

_The girl's lips pursed, clearly perturbed, "Oh."_

_Felix could see it: Disapproval, disappointment. Why would Peter have a friend like this? He looked like a charity case so they treated him like one. He ducked his head, fighting the urge to pull his hood over his head and hide._

_His eyes fell to Peter across the room, holding Wendy's hand and too busy chatting with the debate team. Peter never left him alone like this. It was wrong, so wrong._

_"Hey, Felix!" John called out, separating Felix from the nosy classmate, "H-Happy birthday."_

_Felix pulled away from Peter, an involuntary smile lighting up his face as John shooed the other classmates away, "John," He sighed happily, clearing his throat when he realized he may have been too enthusiastic, "How's the party?"_

_John shrugged, "It's okay. Boring. But okay. Could use some real alcohol."_

_Felix laughed, wondering what John was like when he was drunk. He imagined karaoke with a tie wrapped around his head. He noted that John always turned an alarming shade of red around him. It was cute._

_A hand suddenly clasped around his shoulder, pulling him back and away from John, "Felix! Have you tried the jalapeño puffs yet? They're delicious," Peter said._

_"They're okay. And green," Felix duly noted, seeing a pattern of green all over the refreshments._

_"You know me," Peter replied, smirking to John, "So, you didn't tell him the big surprise, did you?"_

_John shrugged, not knowing what Peter was hinting at. Felix wasn't quite sure either._

_Wendy was at Peter's side, frowning and shaking her head towards Peter. She clearly regret something but didn't have the heart to say it to Peter. Felix didn't understand what was going on._

_"Everyone's pretty much here. I should announce it now, right?" Peter asked Wendy, smiling too broadly. It made Wendy uncomfortable and she appeared to nod along reluctantly, "Everyone!" Peter announced, tapping on his glass to silence the crowd, "Thank you all for coming! Today's Felix's birthday and I wanted to make his nineteenth birthday a memorable one. Round of applause for Felix, please!"_

_The crowd applauded but Felix heard nothing. None of them were his friends, none of them clapped because they cared, it was nothing but an illusion he forced himself to put up with._

_"As my second announcement, I know all of you have been gossiping about," Peter continued, the crowd was murmuring to each other, excited for something Felix wasn't aware of. John didn't look excited in the slightest, eyes switching between Wendy and Felix, legs twitching like he was about to run, "It's official now. Wendy and I are getting married!"_

_The crowd cheered, clapping with fervour and excitement._

_Felix, on the other hand, felt like his world just shattered, "_ What _?" He whispered, eyes meeting Wendy's and seeing her smile fade for just a moment. This was intentional. It had to be. Felix grit his teeth, feeling pressure and heat behind his eyes._

_"Felix!" Peter exclaimed, calling everyone's attention onto him. Felix's face slackened immediately. He didn't want anyone see him about to cry, "You're my best friend, Felix. I want you to be my best man."_

_This wretched birthday present, given to spite him, Felix should've thrown it in Peter's face, condemned him right then and there, and left the party, calling up all his Lost Boys and having a_ real _birthday party on their own. Instead, forever loyal and submissive to his unrequited lover, Felix nodded and smiled, "Thank you, Peter."_

_His birthday was no longer relevant, everyone at the party now swarming Peter and Wendy about bachelor parties, wedding planners, bridesmaids. They made a wall between Peter and Felix that was probably there right from the start; Felix purposely blocked it from his mind._

_Too much, everything was too much, so Felix pulled away and headed right for the backdoor. His eyes caught with John's for just a second but he couldn't stop. He knew he'd start to cry and Peter_ hated it _when he cried. Shutting everything out, Felix pushed open the doors and ran down the streets. He didn't know where he was going, didn't care to know. Only thing he knew was that he really needed some alcohol right now and he didn't care where he got it._

Mumbling, Felix opened his eyes slowly, his headache still present but dulled now. The world around him was bright but no longer cold. He tilted his head to the side, seeing Peter resting by the edge beside him, "Peter?" He mumbled, lip swollen and distorting the name.

Peter stirred, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he took Felix's hand, "You're awake."

Felix smiled weakly, trying his best to ignore the aching patches on his face. He reached for Peter, fingers faltering immediately when he noticed Peter's laptop on the desk. He swallowed harshly, retracting his hand and shutting his eyes, "I'm sorry," He gasped out.

"I don't care what you did. I don't blame you."

" _But everyone knows_ ," Felix squealed, slightly hysterical as he tried to pull away from Peter.

"And I don't care," Peter replied, "I'm Peter Pan. When have I ever cared for what anyone else thought?"

Felix choked on his breath, a sob escaping from his lips, "Do you mean that?"

"Idiot," Peter shifted forward on his stool, gingerly hugging Felix's head, "Of course I do. Come on, I got some ice cream. Let's share it before the doctor gets here," He opened the cooler at his feet, taking out a tub of mint chocolate ice cream and spoon-feeding Felix.

Shortly after, Dr. Whale came in with a stack of sheets in his hands, "Hey. Where'd you get that ice cream?" Peter shrugged back, playing coy, "Anyway, there doesn't seem to be any head trauma. Just a bit of rest and antibiotics and you should be fine," He dropped a stack of sheets down beside Felix, "And these are forms for a restraining order. You'll need to get this petition filled out. I've already put my name on it. But to be honest, even without the petition, I'm sure the sheriff will file this through for you."

In an instant, Peter snatched the forms from Dr. Whale's hands and began filling them in, scribbling on them with a pen and flipping through the fine print as quickly as he could, "P-Peter, let me do it."

Peter shook his head, taking Felix's hand when he reached for the forms, "I'll fill in what I can. You cover the rest when you're better, okay?" He looked back down at the sheets, scanning through the details and filling in the date wherever he could, "I'm also getting a locksmith to come in tomorrow to change the lock. And I've got Granny on the lookout for my father. If he even steps in a block radius there, she'll get him with her crossbow," He looked into Felix's eyes, stern but loving, "I won't let my father hurt you ever again."

"It's not your fault," Felix mumbled, knowing that his face probably looked like a bruised and bloody mess, " _It really isn't_."

"It is," Peter snapped, "I made you my best man. I put you in contact with my father. I _forgot_ that he hurt you when we were younger," His hand came up, brushing Felix's hair from his eyes.

Had Peter returned Felix's love right from the start, this would have been an entirely different life. Felix stared at Peter, watching his new lover diligently fill out the restraining order forms. He reached forward, cupping Peter's hand before gesturing to the ice cream sitting on the counter. Smirking, Peter dropped the forms and reached for the ice cream, spoon-feeding Felix once more.

"I love you," Felix whispered to Peter, opening his mouth to receive a spoonful of bright green ice cream.

Putting the spoon down, one hand on Felix's chest, Peter leaned in and pressed a kiss gently on Felix's lips, tasting _sweeter_ than the ice cream ever could. He pulled back, a sincerity and kindness to Peter that made Felix melt in his presence, an innocence no one but Felix was allowed to see, "I love you too."


	10. Epilogue

The restraining order had gone through in an alarmingly quick process. Malcolm's infamy worked against him brilliantly and the order was issued. Peter recommended against pressing charges, no doubt advice from his mother. Malcolm may have been disgraced, washed-up, and useless but he still had enough connections to turn this on Felix. Reluctantly, Felix settled on the restraining order.

The last time Felix saw Malcolm was when he retrieved his belongings, Sherriff Graham escorting him along with Peter for moral support. He filled his suitcase, piling in as much as he could. Even the slightest thought that Malcolm would have something of his was sickening. He noted that he couldn't find John's teddy bear.

Clicking his tongue, Felix rolled his suitcase out, Malcolm at the door staring at Felix apologetically with Graham beside him should he lunge.

"Felix, please," Malcolm sighed out, clean-shaven and clothes tucked away, no doubt trying to make a good impression, "I'm sorry. I'll never do it again," He reached for Felix's wrist but was slapped back by Graham, "Please don't leave me."

Felix walked away, rolling out his suitcase and tossing it into the back of his car while Peter glared at his father from afar.

In the end, the restraining order painted the videos Malcolm had posted up in a wholly different light, turning Felix into the victim of an abusive relationship instead of an unknowing accomplice in Malcolm's sleazy lifestyle. Somehow, Felix wondered if Peter knew and had Whale deliver him the restraining order when he awoke.

Tossing out the feathers Malcolm had given to him, Felix cut his final tie to his sinful lover. Peter promptly came over with a match and set the entire trash bin on fire.

"P-Peter!" Felix cried out, quickly dumping a pot of water over the blazing, _indoor_ fire.

"Decontamination," Peter replied smugly, pecking Felix on the cheek before returning to his desk.

 

The Darlings phased in and out of their lives. Here and there, Peter would see Wendy but the two rarely conversed. John and Michael still despised him but were more than happy to greet Felix. They kept their distance though, Felix too afraid to excite feelings in John and _hurt_ him. He was utterly surprised when John invited him out for a movie, the new slasher flick was apparently a big hit.

"John's asking me out to a movie," Felix said, puzzled as he read the text message, "What should I say?"

Peter shrugged, flipping through his law books, "I've got a midterm. But if you've got the time, go ahead."

"What? Really?" Felix was perplexed.

Peter peered over to him, almost offended, "Why not? You were out with Curly and Slightly last week. I know you're not going to ride off into the sunset with _John Darling_. Oh please. You've already got the most charming man in Storybrooke."

"I don't know about that. David Nolan is not bad," Felix said sarcastically, getting smacked in the face by a pillow in response, "I was just kidding. Of course you're the most charming of them all."

"No, no, you're right. He is pretty charming."

 

Peter remained in school, after a long debate with Felix that ended with the two crushed together on the bed, compressing their lips together fervently, "You should get the degree done," Felix said, "I'll work double-shifts at The Rabbit Hole. Help you work off your tuition."

Peter pulled Felix's head back down, unwilling to break apart the kiss, "And you'll go to trade school after?" Felix nodded quickly, "And then I'll start working to pay it off," Peter hummed with approval, "You scratch my back, I scratch yours."

"Scratching isn't exactly what I was thinking of," Felix said, one eyebrow quirking upward.

"You want to go there? Right now?" Peter snickered, rolling over so he was the one perched above Felix. His expression softened for a moment, petting Felix's cheek affectionately, "Is it okay?"

Felix nodded to him, aware that this was the first time they'd ever have sex. Since Malcolm had assaulted him, Felix had always been wary of sex and Peter could tell whenever he'd divert the conversation when it steered towards something suggestive. Felix was sure this time though, no longer seeing Malcolm in his nightmares holding him down and ravaging him.

Stripping off all their clothes and curled up under the blanket for warmth, Felix stroked Peter's cock fervently, head thrown back as Peter returned the touch in kind, rubbing up the shaft with one hand and massaging the head with the other.

" _Oh_ …Peter!" Felix cried out, one hand bringing the pillow up to his mouth so he could bite down on it. He gasped when the pillow was tossed away, the hand on his shaft suddenly doubling it's pace.

"Ah-ah, I want to hear your voice," Peter hummed, kissing every part of Felix's face, proud when he left not one spot untouched. He reached for the lube he kept in the top drawer, a brand new tube that he had bought solely for Felix. He squirted the gel onto his palm, rubbing it in circles till it spread all along his hands, "Can I?"

Felix didn't reply with words, instead rolling onto his stomach and presenting himself to Peter, licking his lips seductively. Peter couldn't say he wasn't pleased with this position but he knew his father had trained it in him. Ignoring that sickening thought, Peter took Felix by the shoulders and laid him down on his back, "We do this _my_ way," Peter hummed, spreading Felix's legs and inserting one finger inside him, flexing it and twisting it in a careful but calculated manner.

Writhing on that single finger, Felix wasn't aware such a thin appendage could bring him such pleasure. He was bucking into Peter's hand, his spine eventually arching off the bed as his toes curled into the sheets, "Didn't know you could do _that_ ," His voice broke as Peter crooked his finger _just right_.

By the time Peter had inserted a second finger, Felix couldn't feel a single bit of pain, no harsh stinging that always preceded the pleasure. He groaned and twisted his hips, bucking up involuntarily as he was hypnotized by Peter's deceptively gentle movements. He hadn't even realized a good five minutes had passed of Peter simply fingering him till he was sufficiently stretched.

"I'm not a virgin," Felix sighed out, nearly coming just from his fingers, "You don't have to be gentle."

It was a painful reminder that Peter knew Felix didn't mean. For so long, he waited because he knew Felix would never give his virginity away to anyone but him and by the time he had realized his mistake, Felix gave his virginity away to the worst person possible.

"Virgin or not," Peter whispered, "I'll be gentle if you want me to be. Do you?"

Felix paused, having never been given such an option. He pondered for a bit, staring at Peter who lazily stroked at his cock, "Yes."

By the time three fingers eagerly slipped inside of Felix's body with just a gasp, Peter retrieved a condom from his drawer and tore the packet open with his teeth, stretching it over his erection before returning to Felix, fingering him and suckling the head of his cock one last time just to keep him excited. When he positioned himself between Felix's legs, his cock resting in the cleft of his ass with one leg lifted onto his shoulder, Peter perched himself over Felix and simply _stared_. He couldn't comprehend why this image felt so surreal, how months ago, Peter would've never believed that this would happen. Felix in his arms, nothing to his name but free ice cream and a cheap apartment, yet _happier_ than he'd ever been in years.

"Peter?" Felix inquired, groaning when he felt Peter _twitch_ under his body, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Peter whispered, "I just- I want to remember this. _Our first time_ ," Peter had taken plenty of lovers before, some long-term, others just a quick fumble in a closet, but _never_ Felix. No matter how much practice he had, no matter how much he bragged about his finesse, "I want this to be perfect."

Felix understood, coiling his free leg around Peter's torso and drawing him in, lips parted as he culled Peter closer, "It already is," He breathed, pulling Peter in for a kiss as he positioned himself and _shoved his hips down_ , feeling Peter penetrate him, forever claiming him.

The heat drove Peter mad and he broke away from the kiss to toss his head back, gasping and whining as he drove his hips back and forth, relishing in the tightness, the velvet-like heat, fitting around Peter so perfectly like it was meant to be. From the look on Felix's face, the lovely blush and his dilated pupils, Peter could tell Felix felt the same. He groaned again when Felix purposely tightened around him, licking his lips enticingly as he beckoned Felix over with a look.

"Was that a dare?" Peter cooed, more breathless than he should have been. He pressed Felix's knee forward, rutting into him with quick, shallow thrusts and loving it when Felix bobbed back and forth rapidly, unable to react with each quick burst of pleasure, "You know what happens when people challenge me."

Felix grabbed Peter by the hair and yanked him down, smothering him with a kiss before jerking his hips forward, whining as he felt Peter deep inside of him, his heat feeling like a brand yet not a single lick of pain. Losing control, Peter wrapped his arms around Felix, fucking him without a single thought of games, tricks, or teasing. All he felt was _want_ , the most primal emotion, _true love_ and nothing more.

As Peter took Felix harder, both of them ravaging the other with equal savagery, hands gripping at hair and groping at sweat slicked skin, erotic yet pure as their bodies grinded together unwilling to make a single gap of separation, Peter knew nothing else in the world mattered but the boy he embraced. Silver tongue robbed by ecstasy and joy, Peter parted from Felix as he neared his orgasm, hand dipping between their bodies and separating them, a sacrilegious act but all for good reason as he jerked Felix off to completion.

Surprised by the sudden touch, Felix came first, his whole body shuddering as come splattered onto his stomach. He gripped onto Peter, riding out his orgasm as he wrapped his legs around his torso, caging him in and writhing again when Peter came inside him, heat blooming for a moment but not staining him, the condom catching Peter's come.

Still joined, their hands meeting and weaving together, Peter collapsed onto Felix and breathed him in, sweetness in his flesh and the saltiness of sex was a devastating combination, "Peter?" Felix murmured, peeling the sheet off of Peter's body so he could cool off.

"Yes?"

"Was I any good?"

Peter snickered at the question, opting not to answer as he took Felix by the chin and kissed him, determined to taste every single inch of his mouth before his next breath.

When morning came, Peter would have to wake up early, head to his classes, and come home, studying as fervently as he could so he wouldn't have to take another year. Felix would be out at Granny's, working in the day before switching gears to the Rabbit Hole at night, his paycheck going straight to Peter's tuition. They'd carved off a small piece of their budget for food, mostly quick and dirty meals or fast food, cheap liquor if they were feeling generous. The rest of their budget went into rent, a single bad day away from being kicked out of their apartment although Peter figured his stepmother was always a safety net.

Peter once lived in luxury, living for free in a magnificent estate and dining at the most high-end restaurants in town, loved as a reformed thug who changed his life out of love for a princess. Peter never told Wendy but that entire _sham_ of a life always felt wrong. At the time, he never knew why till Felix disappeared from his life.

Pulling away, Peter stared into Felix's eyes once more, realizing that he had no one else in a world that would chew them up and spit them out. _Peter didn't have a problem with that,_ not anymore. It was just the two of them and Peter felt like that was what it should always be, felt like it'd be wrong to have someone else follow him or for someone else to lead Felix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! Hopefully, I haven't mentally scarred anyone with this fan-novel of mine. Honestly, when this started out, I never expected this to go more than my usual 60000 words. With the help of Sporklift/Kiermacy from Tumblr, this fic exploded into double the expected size. Thank you so much for being my beta/workshopping this fic with me!
> 
> Anyway, I'll be going through my usual blurb of "what-ifs" as with all my super-long fics. Stick around if you're interested!
> 
>   * The inspiration for this actually came from Shameless UK where Stephen Lord, Malcolm's actor, plays a ladykiller priest and makes a deal with the bartender in exchange for sex. That was pretty much the catalyst for this whole fic. Additionally, post-fic, I discovered Stephen Lord played Warren Clements in Casualty, an abusive, sleazy husband which perfectly coincided with endgame Malcolm. 
>   * John Darling was originally never a part of this. And then Sporklift introduced me to the wonderful world of Johnlix and I couldn't resist putting it in. I'm very glad I did too since it allowed me to insert Michael in there, giving me a comic relief to work with 
>   * The earliest version of this fic was pretty much a rom-com. Malcolm was originally more like his Crooked-Path-Self, a lovable sex maniac. He would make the same deal with Felix, the two pretending to date till Felix starts to fall in love with Malcolm. But! Malcolm never had any intention of taking Felix's virginity, he simply wanted Peter to confess to Felix to make him happy. And then he was completely and utterly rewritten into the sleazeball Malcolm of today 
> 

> 
> Thank you again for reading!


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